The What Ifs…
The ride over to the boyfriend’s house was eerily quiet. Brian was sitting in the back seat with his arms defensively folded in front of him, ready to bite the head off anyone who dared to speak to him. Kevin sat in the passenger seat, looking through the side window trying to calm himself down. Ever since he saw the note left for him, his hands had been uncontrollably shaking. Howie was driving; he put on a classical music radio station in hopes of calming the brothers down, neither objected so it stayed on, Beethoven’s ninth symphony quietly playing in the background.
“So where are we going?” Brian finally asked just as the German chorus broke out into Ode to Joy.”
“We’re going to go see Lisa’s boyfriend.”
“Your Lisa?”
“Yes my Lisa.”
“You’re her boyfriend what the hell are you talking about Kevin, you’re making no sense.”
Kevin glanced over at Howie then turned himself around to face his little brother, “Brian, she was involved in this, we’re not exactly sure how but her boyfriend, the one we are going to see might be able to tell us more.”
“Did you always know she had another boyfriend?”
“Of course not!”
“Why aren’t you just going to talk to her?”
Kevin took a deep breath, “Because she’s dead.”
“Dead?”
“Yes”
Brian looked confused, as confused as Kevin probably looked when all of this hit him for the first time. He could tell that his little brother wasn’t sure what to say or do. Part of him wanted to say he was sorry to hear that but the angry part, the one who was present now, didn’t have any room in his heart for sympathy. So Kevin let him off the hook.
“Look, Brian she was a bad lady, I wish I had known. I wish I had known a lot of things. I’m sorry she’s dead but right now her boyfriend might be the one, the only one who could have an answer for us.”
“I’d like to talk to him.” Brian said as if he was a seasoned detective himself.
“No way kiddo, in fact you are going to stay in the car.”
“I’m not just going to sit here and do nothing,” Howie now was parked right across the street from the guy’s house as the two brothers continued to argue.
“That’s exactly what you’re going to do. This is an official investigation and most detectives don’t bring their little brothers to those things.”
“Well that’s too bad.”
“Actually,” Howie interrupted them both as he turned off the car, “I think you should stay in here too Kevin. You’re too close to this case and I can handle this guy.”
“Howie I’m coming in there with you.”
Howie placed his arm on Kevin’s shoulder, “No you aren’t. Not this time. I’ll be out in a few.”
“Howie…”
“You know I’m right Kev.”
Kevin looked down at the floor of the car and nodded.
“I’ll be back; if I need you I’ll holler okay?”
“Be careful D. I couldn’t handle it if anything else happened today.”
“Nothing to worry about Kevin.”
Kevin watched like a hawk as Howie knocked on the door, showed his badge and ventured inside. “I can’t believe you didn’t go in there with him.” He heard from the back seat.
“Because he’s right. Besides I was dumb and came here posing as Lisa’s brother before. If I went in there it could compromise the investigation.”
“So how long have you known our family was in danger Kevin?” Kevin once again turned his body to face Brian.
“I didn’t know Brian.”
“Is this the same case you talked about when we went jogging? It is isn’t it?”
Kevin nodded.
“If you didn’t think anything would happen then why did you do that thing with Nicky on the porch? You had someone steal him from our house why is that?”
Now Kevin’s mood grew tired and sullen. The last thing he wanted was to be interrogated by his own brother. “Just incase.”
“Well it appears just in case happened didn’t it? And a hell of a lot of good it did.”
Brian looked away, having a hard time controlling his emotions. Kevin had never seen his brother this angry before. He had no idea what to say to make him feel better either. So instead he chose the honest approach.
“Brian…the case I was working on was the baby killer case.”
Brian just looked at his brother, expressionless as he continued, “I was just so scared for Nicky because I know how friendly and naïve he can be.” Now the tears started to fall, he didn’t care he kept talking. “I had to make sure that nothing would happen to him.”
“You don’t think this is the…oh my God it is isn’t it? This is the same guy? The baby killer?”
Should he tell his brother the truth? That yes it was in fact the same man who had killed several children without thinking twice. A serial killer who had their 8 year old brother. Or should he lie? Say he wasn’t sure. But the hesitation was enough for Brian to have his answer.
“Oh my God Kevin…”
“He has never taken a little boy before Brian; I think the guy is making it personal.”
“Personal why?”
“I don’t know, but we’ll get him back B, I promise.”
Kevin looked back over towards the house, hoping that everything was going okay inside. “You think AJ is okay?”
“The doctor said he’d be fine.”
“Maybe it’s not the same guy you know? Because I can’t see someone who kills kids for fun, letting AJ live.”
“He wasn’t interested in AJ, he only wanted Nick.”
“He won’t hurt Nicky will he? I mean did he ever…”
Kevin gave Brian a sympathetic look, “I wish I could say no but I’m not sure what we’re dealing with exactly.”
Howie walked out of the house and back towards the car as the two Richardson brothers anxiously waited for news.
“He really doesn’t know anything; he mentioned your visit, thought it might be worthwhile to talk to you or her other brother, and said that she was going to take him to…”
“Aruba, yeah I know. Did you tell him about her?”
Howie nodded, “I also told him it was best if he started looking for a lawyer because we would be back in touch. I think we should head on over to your house. Maybe we can find something there. A clue or something.”
“Good idea, D.”
“I know Tyler’s men are done with the house so we should be okay to move around in there.”
“I’m going to have to talk to him soon, and I don’t want to.”
“Don’t worry about that yet, let’s go.”
They headed back over to the house where Kevin grew up. He always loved this house; in fact one of his dreams was to buy it from his mom when she grew tired of it and move in himself, with his own family, Grandma living there with them of course. Funny how one incident can change someone’s entire perspective.
Just as Howie had predicted, all the cop cars and yellow tape was gone. There was nothing left to see here at the Richardson place, but the gawkers would think otherwise. He could actually feel his neighbor’s eyes on him as they got out of the car and made their way up the steps. All of them looking out curiously trying to figure out what on earth had happened.
By the time they had made it to the house, the sun was already setting. When something horrible happens all sense of time goes away. So Kevin was surprised when he actually had to turn on the light and the first thing he saw was a shock to him but an even bigger one to Brian.
“Is that AJ’s?” Brian asked in a whisper so soft it was barely noticeable.
Kevin placed a loving arm around his little brother, “Yes, but it always looks worse than it is.” He said trying to walk them past the dried up blood still lying on the carpet.
“We should get someone in here to clean that up tomorrow” Kevin said to Howie for a moment trying to remove himself from how intensely personal this case had become.
“I’m sure they’re on top of it.”
“I want to get some stuff out of my room if that’s okay?”
Kevin nodded, “Of course, maybe we should get some of AJ’s stuff too. Stuff that would make his hospital stay more comfortable.”
They stopped at the top of the stairs where the table containing the Precious Moments had been knocked over, many of the figurines shattered. Kevin looked over at Howie, “We need to ask my mom how many she had on this table.”
“Why?” Brian asked staring at the door to Nick’s room as if it was the closet in the movie Poltergeist.
“He collects them from his vic…” He stopped himself from saying the word. He couldn’t allow that word to be spoken; because there was no way his brother was going to be a victim of this man. No way! “He took them from the families. It’s something they all had in common.”
“It doesn’t look like there was any struggle up here, if that makes you feel better. I mean it’s a small consolation I know, but at least we know Nick didn’t fight him.” Howie said trying his best to smile and act as if everything was all good.
“He was also sick, Brian do you know if he is on antibiotics or anything?”
“No, he is taking aspirin as far as I know, but mom would know better than me.”
Kevin stood outside Nicky’s door now with his hand on it as if rubbing its back and telling it everything would be all right. “Why don’t you go get your stuff Brian, I’ll be a few minutes in here.”
Brian nodded, not eager to go inside his baby brother’s room. Kevin nodded with his head towards Brian which Howie took as a sign to not leave the younger boy alone. Kevin mouthed the word thanks and then ventured inside of Nick’s room.
Once inside he turned on the light and sighed, there was his baby brother’s bed sheets turned down and comforter completely off and on the floor. “He was carried out of here.” He said to himself noticing the placement of the blanket on the floor as if it was dragged off of a sleeping child. “God I hope he was sleeping, I hope he slept through everything.”
He walked around the room, to the little bookshelf that housed all of his favorites. Kevin squat down to go through the books, eager to find out if anything was missing and sure enough I’ll Love you Forever, The Giving Tree and There’s Something in my Attic were all gone. All three his favorites, “I was going to read that to him yesterday.”
“What?”
Kevin stood up and quickly turned towards his brother’s voice, “The Giving Tree, I was going to read that to him yesterday.”
“He loves that book. I read it to him.” Brian said standing against the wall and slowly allowing himself to enter.
“Thanks.”
“Is it gone?” Howie asked walking over to the book case.
“Yeah, three of them are.”
“Gone?” Brian asked now sitting on the bed holding Nick’s pillow in his hands.
“Brian do you see anything else in here that Nick would never leave home without?”
Quickly Brian got on all fours and looked under the bed, “I don’t see Winnie…He sleeps with Winnie the Pooh every night. The one I gave him.”
Kevin looked around the room again noticing his little desk; usually containing his coloring books and crayons was also bare. He walked over to the dresser and opened it to find almost half of his underwear and some of his clothes gone. It was what he found on top of the dresser that made him finally break down, allowing himself to get caught up in what happened.
The small badge that Rob had given him the other day was lying there along with a picture of five stick figures. One wearing a skirt holding the tiny ones hand and the other wearing a badge holding the other hand. Two more stick figures completed the picture all standing in front of the house. On the bottom in big bold letters it said,
For my brother AJ I love you!
Kevin placed his arm on the dresser and his hand on his face as the tears started to come. Something that Brian wasn’t ready to see.
“We’re never going to get him back are we Kevin?” Brian asked now in a near state of panic. Kevin turned towards his brother and walked over joining him on the bed.
“We will, I’m going to bring him back home to us.”
Brian nodded, his own tears started to form in the corners of his eyes, “Dad’s shirt” he said grabbing it from inside the sheets. It was the same flannel one that Kevin had caught Nick with way back when everything was right with the world.
“What about it?”
“He can’t sleep without it, it’s his security blanket Kev…he probably is crying for it.” Now Brian was hugging it as if it would make all his pain go away.
Kevin wrapped his arms around his brother and together they rocked on the bed trying to console each other. “He’s just a baby Kevin, he’s probably scared to death right now, he always wants me to come in and sing a song to him before bed. He hates being all alone…” The way Brian kept going on and on actually made Kevin’s stomach so upset he felt the need to vomit. He chocked it down though so he could be strong for his little brother.
“What if he thinks we gave him away? He thought that’s what you did didn’t he? What if he thinks we just didn’t want him anymore? Or worse yet what if it’s best if he thinks that way? What if he’s locked in a basement somewhere or...”
“Shh…Brian stop, calm down, everything will be okay…” He said as he continued to rock his eighteen year old brother as if he was a child.
It was the what ifs that were always the worst. He had seen it happen a million times in his career, what if Johnny just ran away from home? What if Pam was lying in the river? He would hear them nonstop. In fact the what ifs were always a big part of his own job. Detective work was one part investigating and one part brain storming. That’s when you spent your day with those words. What if?
The what ifs going through Kevin’s mind at the moment were drowning out his more rational thoughts, what if he was already dead? What if he was buried under dirt somewhere? What if he was crying Kevin’s name right now? Crying for help from a brother who was totally helpless to do anything.
“Let’s go back to the hospital; I think we need to be around mom and AJ right now…what do you say buddy?” Kevin said pushing the what ifs to the back of his mind for the moment.
“Okay.”
“Good, let’s go.”
Brian held onto the blanket and brought it to the hospital with him along with some things for AJ. When they reached their brother’s room Momma Richardson was sitting next to him holding his hand as the TV played the news in the background. She smiled at them and motioned for them to come over to her where she kissed each boy on the cheek.
“How is he mom?” Kevin asked taking a seat next to his mother while Brian went for the chair on the other side of the boy.
“He’s doing so much better, he woke up a few times but was too weak to talk. The doctor said our baby is tough and will make a full recovery. One of the men you work with was here to try to talk to him but I wouldn’t allow it. Not yet.”
“Tyler?”
“Yes, luckily Rob was here and told him to go away.”
Kevin looked at his little brother lying asleep and bandaged up. He had darkish circles under his eyes and was hooked up to a few wires. He pulled out the picture Nick made for him and placed it on the night stand by his bed, All the while the what if’s danced in his head.
What if he couldn’t find his brother in time?
What if he was laying sick and cold somewhere dark and dingy?
What if he had to by a casket?
What if…
Hey guys! Hope you're having a great start to your summer. I'll be back next Wednesday with a new chapter. As always thanks for the reviews! :)
