Between a father and son
“You don’t seem to enjoy your job very much dad.” Kevin had said at the dinner table which brought the mid dinner conversation to a halt. Kevin senior had come home from a particularly hard case and just was in the most foul of moods. He didn’t say one word for most of the meal, just grunting when Brian rattled on and on about baseball and his mother went on and on about her newly planted garden.
That entire time, Kevin watched his father though; never taking his eyes off the man he so wanted to idolize. He looked tired, his beard scruffy and had huge bags under his eyes. Did his father ever sleep he couldn’t help but wonder as he stared. Finally that stare was answered as his dad looked up and locked eyes with his eldest son.
“What are you looking at?”
That’s when Kevin said those words to his father, words that started the first of many fights concerning his job and how Kevin failed to appreciate all that his dad did. The ironic thing was, he never answered the question, not once, and Kevin asked many times.
To his dad, whether or not he enjoyed what he was doing was unimportant, what was important was the job itself. A line Kevin never bought into.
They fought a lot the two of them and Jackie used to kid that it was because they were so similar but on the eve of his father’s supposed death, Kevin remembered uttering the words, “I never want to be like him” To himself as he watched his dad leave the house late at night from the safety of his bedroom window.
His father’s job was always more important than his family.
Kevin wrestled with that thought as slowly he began to wake up from the dream he was having. Was it a dream? He was still kind of confused, going back and forth from then to now. The voice he heard was familiar and worried, “Kevin, please open your eyes it begged.”
There were other voices in the room. Several in fact and many he thought he recognized although he wasn’t quite awake enough to tell for sure.
“He has barely eaten or slept…” One said, the voice of a female, was it his mother? Or maybe…no it was Maria, the girl who worked for him.
“I’m sure hearing about me didn’t help either.” Now that voice brought back memories to Kevin. Not many of them happy.
“He’s waking up I think.” That was Howie. Kevin tried blinking but was still a little weak. His head was pounding and all he wanted to do was roll over and lay down in a fetal position forever. That would be so much easier than opening his eyes to all the problems waiting for him.
“Howie.” He felt his friend’s hand in his own, his grip strong and firm.
“I’m here Kevin can you hear me?”
“Yes.” Finally his eyes opened, just a little, but enough to see his worried friend’s face staring down at him. “Where am I?” He asked as he attempted to sit up only to be pushed back onto the bed by Howie.
“You’re safe,”
“Nicky…I have to find Nicky…”
“You need to rest for a little bit first Kevin; you’re no good to Nicky like this.”
“Is he awake?” He came into view shortly after asking the question and once again Kevin thought he was dreaming. How was this possible?
“I’m awake.” Howie moved out of the way so Kevin senior could take a seat next to his son.
“You gave us quite a scare son.” He said gently and lovingly, moving the hair out of his son’s eyes as he caressed his cheek.
“This can’t be real, I must be dreaming.”
“Not dreaming Kevin, God I can’t believe how much you’ve grown.” This time Kevin was able to sit himself up with the help of his dad who propped pillows behind him.
“I don’t understand this…” He was still in shock, so many questions running through his mind he wasn’t sure where to start and if he started asking would he ever be able to stop?
“I know there’s a lot you don’t understand son, but right now let’s concentrate on you getting some food in your stomach, we need you strong to help find your brother.”
At the mention of his brother, the young blonde boy who always had a giant smile on his face crossed Kevin’s mind and he almost wanted to cry. “Nicky, we have to find him.”
His father walked back over to his son, when he got up and left? Kevin had no clue, but now he had returned and with him he carried a bowl of soup and a sandwich. “We are working on it Kevin, believe me.” He sat down next to his son and handed him the tray, “Eat this please.”
Maybe it was a second wind, but the sudden realization of the entire situation suddenly hit Kevin with as much force as a Mack truck and he became furious, “Believe you? You have got to be kidding me; I’m not going to believe anything you say to me!” Kevin flung the tray across the room, tomato soup and grilled cheese flew everywhere.
Kevin’s father never flinched, as he looked down at the mess his son created. Everyone else in the busy room stopped cold though, you could hear a pin drop. “Why the hell are you not dead?” Now Kevin stood up and began to pace, he was a bit wobbly but overall feeling a little better.
“Kevin I know how you must feel…”
“No, you have no idea how I feel. None at all!”
He stayed on the bed, not quite ready to get up and try to console his son. He did give Howie a look, one that said it’s time to give us some alone time. Maria seeing that look motioned for the remaining team to do the same. They all walked out of the room and gave the newly reunited family some space.
“I can’t believe you would do something like this!! Do you have any idea how many nights I had to listen to mom cry herself to sleep? How many times I wish I knew the perfect words to console her with?”
“Do you think I WANTED to leave you guys?” Now he stood walking towards Kevin, “Do you honestly think I wanted to leave and never see my family again?”
“Yes, in fact I do! You could have taken us, all of us but you chose to leave your wife to take care of four kids!”
“Kevin, you have no idea what the circumstances were. Would you have liked for me to uproot you from your life forever? So this way you could always live on the run, never feeling safe, never being able to talk to the people you loved and cared about.”
“To keep us together? Yes, I would have done that.”
Kevin senior sat back down on the bed his son vacated, holding his head in his hands, “It was too dangerous, and I couldn’t suck you all into this life.”
“You had no problem sucking me into this life though did you dad?”
“What?”
“It was guilt that made me what I am today! You think I wanted to do this? NO! It was because I felt like your death was all MY fault!”
Kevin found himself getting emotional now and the last thing he wanted was to cry in front of this man who had taken so much away from him, so he turned away and started walking out of the room.
“Kevin, don’t walk away from me!”
“Why? You walked away from me, now it’s my turn to do the same.” And with that being said Kevin walked out of the room and slammed the door. Once he was outside the small crowd disbursed and went back into the cabin to continue with their business, Howie hung outside and watched as his friend sat on the front steps and put his head down on his knees. Slowly Howie joined Kevin placing his arm around him and patting his back.
“This has been a lot to take in huh?”
“Please tell me you had no idea about any of this Howie, because if you did I don’t think I could handle it.”
“I didn’t know anything I swear.”
“Why does he have to come back now?”
“He’s the one that saved AJ’s life you know.” Kevin turned his head to face his friend as he continued, “He tried to stop it all from happening but he got there too late. He saw AJ lying on the floor and called the ambulance.”
“Oh and I’m supposed to thank him now? He’s our friggin father, the least he could do is help his son don’t you think?”
“I’m not saying he deserves a medal Kevin, all I’m saying is he still loves you guys.”
“Well that doesn’t matter to me anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
His cell phone ringing broke the intense conversation, “Hello?”
“Hi honey.” He shook his head when he heard his mother’s voice on the other line, usually the one voice that managed to calm him no matter what.
“Hi mom, is everything all right?”
“Yes baby, I’m just checking to see if any progress has been made. I’m so worried about him Kevin, I feel like I’m losing my mind.” He heard her begin to cry just as his father walked out the front door, further adding to the sting of the situation.
“Mom, we’ll find him…please don’t cry.” He said making sure to glare at his father as he did.
“It’s just that he’s probably so scared and alone, I need him back Kevin. I’m sorry to dump all this on you but Brian has been so strong and I couldn’t bear to do this in front of him and of course AJ is still not well. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I wish your father was here he’d know just what to do.”
Those words never brought much consolation to Kevin; in fact he hated it whenever his mother would say them, today though they were brought to a whole new level. Once again he felt himself glaring at his father who now had a sad look on his face.
“Mom, dad can’t help us now, he is dead.” He made sure to stress the word dead, spitting it out as if it was spoiled food, before turning his head away from his father and continuing, “Just try to stay optimistic okay? We’ll find him and soon. He’ll be back in your arms before you know it and once that happens none of us will ever let him out of our site again.”
He paused for a moment; Kevin could tell his mom was probably wiping away tears. “Why don’t you call Mrs. Nicosia, she asked me if there was anything she could do to help and maybe just getting away from the hospital and talking to her would do the trick?”
“I can’t leave AJ.”
“Mom, I’m sure he wants you to leave him. He has probably wanted to flirt with the nurses.” That brought out a chuckle to which Kevin was grateful. He looked back to see his father smiling, seemed he liked that to.
“Anita is a very nice lady maybe that would do me good and seeing Patty might help as well.”
“Good, do that and mom…I love you very much.”
“I love you more.” She said followed by a small giggle. “Bring my baby back to me Kevin okay?”
“I will, tell AJ I love him okay?”
“Of course.”
“How is she holding up Kevin?” His father asked once the phone was placed back in his pocket.
“Like you care.”
“Of course I care, I love your mother very much Kevin.”
“Yes so much you abandoned her!”
“How is she?” He said, choosing to ignore his son’s hate filled words.
“Doing as well as can be expected I guess, considering the circumstances, she’s torn apart. She said she wishes you were alive because you would know what to do. She always says that you know. You really ruined her life.”
“I didn’t do it intentionally Kevin; I wish you would understand that.”
“I do but you know what? I really don’t care.” Kevin stood up to walk back inside; filled with so many emotions he was having a hard time coming to grips with them.
“Do you wish I was really dead?”
“All I wish right now is to have my baby brother in my arms. That’s what I wish so if you have any leads now would be the time.”
Kevin senior looked disappointed at that answer, but if he wanted reassurance there was no way his son was going to give it to him. “We found another address that Scott Wilson operates out of.” That made Kevin’s head shoot up to look at his dad.
“Really?”
“Yes, we traced him back to a house in the woods, but when we got there, everything was cleared out. There were traces of blood from some of the victims though. No trace of Nicky.”
“How long ago?”
“Right before you decided to follow me.” Maria said walking out of the shadows and towards the porch. How long she had been there, Kevin had no idea.
“Howie said you saved AJ, did you know that Nicky was going to be taken?”
“I had my suspicions.”
“Why?”
“Ever since I was told he had been making personal contact with you, I made it my mission to stay on this case. I knew if he realized you had a brother roughly the same age as the girls he was taking that he’d try to make it personal. Unfortunately I was right.”
“I thought I could keep him safe. I never thought for some reason that something like this could happen.” And there it was the guilt all over again, pouring out of him in the form of tears which he wasn’t expecting to happen.
Seeing the tears start, Maria quickly walked away as did Howie, allowing the father some time with his son. “It’s not your fault this happened Kevin. This guy is already insane, he just happened to lock onto you.”
“I should have been able to stop this; if I could, I would go and do it all over again. I made so many stupid decisions and look what happens, AJ gets shot and almost killed and Nicky gets abducted.”
Kevin’s father now sat down beside his son on the front porch steps, “I would too, if I had to make the choice I made, whether to leave you guys or not, I would have stayed. You can’t spend your life second guessing yourself Kevin. I have done that every single day for the last 8 years. Second guessing myself, always wondering what if?”
“Why did you leave? I mean what happened? Or can’t you talk about it?”
“You know I can’t talk about it because it’s still not over. But you have to believe me when I say that I never intended to leave the way I did. I always intended to explain it to your mother, give her the option to join me, but that night at the store I WAS shot, that really happened, it was nothing more than a superficial wound but when it did, the powers that be saw it as the perfect opportunity to make me disappear.”
“Without saying goodbye?” Kevin asked his father now seeing tears escaping his eyes. He had never in his life seen his dad cry. It made him more human suddenly and more alive than ever.
He nodded, “I saw you, the day of my funeral, you were standing beside the house getting sick and I wanted nothing more than to come to you and tell you it was going to be okay, but I couldn’t.”
“You saw?”
“Yes, and then I saw your mother standing out back with her arms folded in front of her, there was a crowd inside the house but she was outside staring at the backyard. How I wanted to go kiss her just one more time, tell her how I much I loved her, how much I loved all of you, but I couldn’t. I just had to walk away.”
“Where did you walk away to?”
“Europe, until this baby killer case happened.”
Hearing about all of this brought Kevin back to the here and now, he managed to get his feelings under control and back to the situation at hand, “He was so insistent that I be on the case. When Rob took me off, I think that’s when he made it so personal.”
“This makes me almost one hundred percent positive that he won’t harm Nicky, this is just a game to him and I think he wants you on the case because he knows you’ll catch him. When was the last time he called you?”
“Just when the overalls came he said he’d be sending me something. The body showed up shortly after.”
“He knew you’d realize it wasn’t Nick. He knew you’d have to go identify the body.”
Kevin nodded, “He killed a little boy as part of his game.”
“We’ll get him Kevin, and we know where to start.”
“We do?” Kevin senior placed his arm around his son, who at first pulled away. Feeling Kevin’s resistance to his touch he moved back.
“Even though we didn’t find anything very useful in Scott’s cabin we did find a new set of fingerprints.”
“Where you able to trace them?”
Kevin senior nodded, “To someone who works in your office actually.”
“I thought it was Maria, the one that was leaking everything to Scott. It’s Tyler isn’t it?”
His father shook his head, “It’s not Tyler Kevin.”
“Then who?”
“You might recognize him; I hear he gave you a ride to our…” he quickly corrected himself, “I mean your mom’s house when your car died, most likely he is the one to blame for that so this way he could drive you home and see where you live. His name is Matt Shoals.”
“And he has conveniently gone missing since your brother was abducted.” Maria said handing the file over to Kevin and giving Kevin senior a smile.
“But AJ said the guy who attacked him was really big and someone he had never seen before. AJ knows who Matt is; he was there when I made Matt try to take Nicky.”
“Which means there’s another player in this, so far we know that Scott and Lisa were in it together, and they mentioned another brother right? Isn’t that what her other boyfriend said?” Now Howie was back outside brainstorming.
“Yes, you think Matt was the other brother?” Maria asked.
“No, I think Matt was just the one working on the inside, giving Scott information, and letting him know who was working on the case.” A new voice said as he walked out the front door, Kevin hadn’t noticed him until now but maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. He walked down the three steps and took a seat next to Kevin, “And the results came back just like you thought Kev,” He said but not to the son, to the father, “Matt is the one who killed Lisa.”
Kevin senior looked over at his son, “I’m sorry about your girlfriend.”
“Thanks.” Kevin said a bit confused that they knew that Lisa was his girlfriend.
“I told them Kevin,” Howie admitted when he saw the look of confusion on Kevin’s face.
Kevin nodded and then turned his attention back to the file in front of him, “Am I the only one who was unaware of my father being alive?” He asked with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice as he stared down at the file of the man who ironically enough he had asked to abduct his baby brother as a lesson.
“I’m sorry Kevin; we needed someone on the inside to doctor my files and stage my death at the hospital, who better than Rob to do that?”
“I’m sorry I never told you Kevin, but I couldn’t” Rob said placing his arm around the boy he looked to as a son. Unlike his father though, Kevin allowed the touch which hurt Kevin senior to see.
“This is all just; I’m having a hard time with it.”
“I’m sure.”
“Thanks for checking up on that info for me Rob.” Kevin’s dad said making his way over to his best friend and giving him a hug.
“No problem, But I better get back before everyone starts wondering where I went off to. I plan on going to check up on your mother and brothers too Kevin.”
“Mom is planning on going to visit Anita Nicosia, maybe you can take her there? Make sure she leaves the hospital for a little while?”
“Okay will do, I’ll see you both later.”
“Thanks Rob!” They all said as he walked down the driveway towards an unmarked car.
“What’s next?” Kevin said turning towards his father, still shocked to see him alive and standing right in front of him.
“We search Matt’s place of course…” another ring of a cell phone was heard to which Kevin whipped it out of his pocket.
He had hoped it was Brian who was supposed to check in when he arrived at his friend’s house so he thought nothing of the foreign number, “Hello?”
“Kevin?” His heart skipped a beat and he found himself falling back down on the steps as his father walked over to him, alarmed.
“Nicky?”
“I want to go home…”
I'll be back next Wednesday with a new chapter! Thanks for the reviews. You guys rock! :O)
