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Nick looked through the sheer maroon curtains and watched her. She was smiling and spinning in the garden. She pushed her hair from her face as the wind blew it in her eyes. She always seemed to smile in his direction, but he knew that she didn’t see him. And as always like that she was gone. But she had been gone for a while now. He knew when he saw her, it wasn’t real. But that vision had never been in his thoughts of her. It wasn’t like his other memories. That was something completely unreal. He had never watched her dancing in the garden when she was there.

And now he couldn’t look out there and not see her. He turned away from the window and tried to push her out of his mind. He knew he had other things that needed to be taken care of. And already the day was almost over. Nick paced around the quiet living room not willing to commit to the decision of pushing her out of his mind. He always asked himself the same questions everyday. But the contemplations never lead to the answers he desperately needed to hear.

She had left, and they would never be answered. That was the final thought, the one that pushed him into the intense angry state he was always in. All he had wanted was someone he could be real with. Someone who loved him as much as he had loved her. He had been sure she had loved him the same, but she still had gone.

It was pitch black as he glanced out of the window again. Only then did he realize how dark the room was, so dark he could barely get to the lamp without bumping into something. He hated the night. It made him feel even more alone.

Nick let out a frustrated sigh and walked toward the kitchen. He flipped on the lights and looked around, there was a smell. A very bad one in fact. He soon found the source; a pile of dishes with what looked like had once been food. They had been sitting in the sink for longer than he could remember. With a grunt he turned the faucet on hot and doused the dishes with a large amount of soap. While the sink filled he walked over to the refrigerator to find something to eat. It was completely empty, not even a condiment left. He slammed the door shut and cursed to himself.

The last thing he had wanted to do was leave the house. He was sure that if he did, it would be the moment she would try to come back to him and he wouldn’t be there. Nick thought it over for a good thirty minutes before giving in to the pain in his stomach. He couldn’t recall the last time he had eaten, so it seemed his only option.

He pulled p to the convenient store after finding all of the grocery stores closed. It had been later than he thought. The clerk greeted Nick as he walked in the door. Nick nodded and continued into the canned food aisle. He bent down to grab a can of chili, seeing that it was his only option. That was unless he wanted to dine on cat food.

“Could I also get a bag of ice?” The woman’s voice came from behind him. Nick froze when he heard her. His heart began to race, it was Ashley’s voice. He spun around as she was grabbing the bags off of the counter. She was already pushing through the door when he could finally move. He ducked through the doors and into his car as she reached into the freezer for the ice. Her face finally came into view, it was her. He couldn’t believe it. Her long brown hair, her deep brown eyes. She looked exactly the same, he could swear down to her outfit. He tried to focus on how long it had been since he had seen her, but couldn’t. Time had simply stopped for him.

She turned on her car and pulled away. Nick followed behind her. She wasn’t going towards his house. He couldn’t believe she could have been this close the whole time. He wanted to hold her, to say how sorry he was for the last fight they had. She pulled into a driveway and stopped her car. Nick parked across the street and stepped out of the car unsure of what he would say. She collected the bags from the car and pushed the door shut with her hip.

“Ash?” Nick called out her name as she pushed the keys into the car door. She didn’t look up at first but a moment later looked his way. He smiled at her, “Hi.” She smiled back, “Hi.” He looked at her not speaking. She let out a nervous laugh, “Do you need help with something?”

Nick fumbled over his words afraid to ask the question, “Ashley?” She shook her head, “No, you must have me confused with someone else. Sorry.” She began to walk to her front door. Nick pushed the sadness away so that he could speak, “Sorry. You look like a girl I used to know.” She didn’t even turn back to face him as she unlocked the door, “It’s alright.” A second later she was through the door.

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Nick pushed into his house and slammed the door shut. The rotten smell from the kitchen seemed to have spread through the house. He stomped into the kitchen and flung the cabinet under the sink open. He poured a whole bottle of bleach down the drain and threw the empty bottle across the room.

‘Why would she lie to me like that?!’ The thought was accompanied by his fist slamming into the counter. ‘How could she run into the house and leave me standing there?’ He knew he’d have to try to talk to her again. ‘She was just surprised. Next time will go better.’ Nick tried to calm himself down by repeating the thought. He walked over to the empty bottle and picked it up. The basement door creaked softly as he walked past it. He pushed it closed and walked away from it quickly; the basement always seemed to creep him out. After throwing the bottle away he decided to call it a night.

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Nick sat patiently outside of her house. He spent all of his free time watching everything she did. He was starting to see she did things like clockwork. Always awake at seven on the weekdays and at work at ten till eight. She worked in a very plain building, not even a sign to tell him what exactly she did. On the weekends she was up by nine. Saturday seemed to be her relax at home day, but Sunday she went to the same diner for breakfast followed by typical errands.

It was finally Sunday. The one day he could run into her somewhere without it seeming as though he was following her. She emerged from the house right on time and drove directly to the diner. Nick followed and entered a few moments after she had settled into a booth. He casually looked in her direction. She was already looking up at him. She smiled and lowered her head quickly.

He slowly walked to her table and cleared his throat, “Excuse me?” She glanced up at him, “Hello again.” Her eyes moved back to the menu.

“Look I don’t mean to bother you again; I just wanted to apologize if I surprised you the other night.” Nick tried to keep his voice calm. She laughed, “No worries. I’m used to strange men approaching me at my home in the middle of the night.”

‘Strange?! What game is she trying to play?! She’s wearing the damn perfume I bought her!’ Nick’s thought was interrupted when she spoke again, “Did you find your long lost friend?” Nick couldn’t form words. ‘How can she look at me like that? She’s looking at me as though I were a complete stranger!’ He sighed, “No, no I didn’t.”

‘Fine, I’ll play your game. You can’t keep this up long.’ Her smile faded, “Oh. I’m so sorry,” she closed her menu, “do you…would you like to join me? I mean are you here alone?” Nick had to smile, “Yes, I’m here alone,” he paused and let out a short laugh, “sure if um, you’re not afraid of me anymore.”

She laughed and shook her head “no” while gesturing him to sit down. They were silent for a moment. She reached her hand across the table, “Hi, I’m Kate.” He took her hand, “Nick.”

“Nick,” she looked away shyly as she said his name, “so, are you new to the area?”

“I’ve lived here my whole life. “You?” Nick pulled a menu from behind the napkin holder and began to scan through it. Kate shook her head, “No. I moved here about four years ago. I had to get away from my parents. They were forcing all of these schools down my throat. I’ve never been one for school, so I came here and got a job that I could live with.” Nick could only nod his head, afraid he might scream at her lies. She sighed, “Sorry, I’m sure a no would have done just as fine! I just start talking sometimes.”

“No, I was interested.” Nick placed the menu back where he found it. She relaxed a little, “Alright. Well, what do you do? Are you a student?” Nick began to play with his fork, “I work. I spend my day at a computer fixing script errors on websites.” She leaned forward with interest, “Really? I think all of that computer coding is so cool, I could never understand it! Did you go to school for that or did you just sort of fall into it?”

He was surprised by how excited she was. ‘Who in there right mind thinks scripting is cool?’ He cleared the thought away, “Yeah, I took some classes by I don’t have e degree or anything.” He stopped as the waitress came to take their orders.

They spent the meal talking about all of the same things you talk to someone about when you first meet them. Nick held the door open as she walked out of the diner. She smiled at him as she walked past, “Thank you. You really didn’t have to pay; I mean if anyone should have paid it should have been me. I asked you to my table.” Nick pushed his hands into his jean pockets, “Don’t mention it.” He couldn’t stop all of the thoughts in his head. ‘The whole time! She just sat there and lied to me the whole time! Enough is enough.’

He was about to speak when she cut him off, “So do you think we could maybe bump into each other again?” She pretended to dig in her purse for her keys to avoid eye contact. He glanced around quickly thinking. His eyes stopped on hers and she smiled. He smiled back, “Yeah, sure.” Kate shifted her weight and looked at the asphalt, “Okay…how about tomorrow? We could maybe have dinner?”

Nick shook his head, “That would be great.” She bounced on her feet a little, “Alright. Why don’t we just meet at my house, around seven?” Nick pulled his hands out of his pockets, “Sounds good.” Kate tilted her head to the side and smiled, “Well…” she extended her hand and shook his, “See you tomorrow. Bye.” She softly giggled as she turned to her car. Nick watched her wave as she drove away and waved back. He turned to his car and walked to it slowly. ‘How long do I have to play this game? Why can’t she just let things go.’ He ended his thoughts deciding to talk to her about it tomorrow night.