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**Chapter Twelve**

Three more days had passed along with Kevin still not improving. All four Boys were still there, staying at the hospital from ten in the morning until ten at night. Nothing had changed though and since the last time Anita had spoken to him, he barely woke up for long enough to carry on half of a conversation. He was definitely in grave condition and not even the doctors were staying positive any longer. Kevin Richardson, the oldest member of the Backstreet Boys, was slowly dying. There was nothing anybody could do to stop it from happening except for some sort of miracle by God. Kevin’s life was in his hands now more than ever. Nothing anybody did and no amount of care could bring him back unless he was truly supposed to stay on Earth.

“I can’t believe none of us came until now,” A.J. muttered in monotone, “All this time…and we could have been with him before this happened.”

“We didn’t know it would though…” Howie stated, his voice trailing off in obviously extreme sadness.

“If he does die though…we should have come sooner. I’ll feel so damned guilty.” A.J. argued, wishing he could kick himself, “I already feel so guilty.”

Brian sniffed, trying to keep himself in control, but he was losing the struggle along with everybody else. It was definitely an emotional time. It said something in itself that the doctor had let everybody in for a quick visit to Kevin for a few minutes. The only way they let those other than family in was if it would likely be one of the last chances they saw that person alive. Kevin hadn’t even stirred in his sleep during their presence.

“There’s still a chance…” Nick’s voice trailed off. He wasn’t willing to accept the fact that in a few more days, there may not be a Kevin there for him to depend on. Sure, the others were great, but Kevin was his safety. He needed him, for he always had all of the right answers and helped Nick through his toughest times. He’d helped Nick to grow up and become the man he was now. He’d pretty much raised him, to say the least, during his growing years on tour.

Nobody said anything, for not even they had any positively left in them for their dear friend after seeing him last. Brian was beside himself in grief for Kevin was his older cousin. He was more than just a friend and band mate. He was blood. He was family. He’d known him his entire life and now he was being taken away slowly and tortuously. He found it unfair that he’d had his own condition for as long as he could remember and escaped death not so many years ago but Kevin had developed his own less than one year ago and that was the end of it without so much as a warning.

“What did…um, does he have, anyways?” Anita asked out of nowhere, the curiosity getting the better of her. She wanted to know and felt she had the right to know what treacherous disease was taking her Kevin away from her after such a short time of knowing him.

She got several blank, confused stares with no answer for quite some time making her feel as if she’d picked a bad time to ask or mention it. She looked down, embarrassed by her sudden inquisitiveness. But then suddenly someone did answer, making her realize the real meaning behind their silence.

“Didn’t Kev ever tell you?” Brian asked softly. Anita shook her head, interested in learning a significant part about Kevin she’d never known. Brian sighed, but it wasn’t out of irritation. It was more out of pain and trying to find the strength to say the hard words that had taken them all so long to accept. The others had looks of sorrow and hurt etched onto their features by another realistic reminder, “He has Osteosarcoma.”

Anita scrunched up her nose. She knew that Osteo had something to do with the bones, but what it had in relation to Kevin’s disease she had no clue. She thought for a moment trying to come up with something logical but being she wasn’t a doctor or nurse, she didn’t know what it was.

“Is it like, a serious form of Osteoporosis or something?” she asked, feeling like an idiot as soon as he said the words. Osteoporosis was from lack of calcium. It wouldn’t cause cancer.

Brian shook is head sadly, totally bypassing her comment, “No. It is a type of bone cancer. Malignant cells are found on the bones. It started out with pain and swelling in his legs, but he let it go thinking it was from working out too hard. But it continued to get worse…and started in his left arm. So, um, he went to the doctor, and the rest is already known. He was lucky. In most cases, if it gets out of hand, it spreads to ones lungs I guess.” Brian laughed bitterly, “Like it really makes a difference now though. It spread anyways.”

Anita’s eyes widened. It sounded like a much more serious cancer than her own, as well as more painful. She wished that for his sake he would have seeked medical help sooner, as she knew from the sounds of it the cancer had spread to other parts of his body because of him thinking it was nothing. It was no wonder he was in such bad condition. She swallowed, hating to admit it, but his chances really were pretty slim due to the facts against him that she’d just learned.

“So chemotherapy is the only way to try to kill it off?” Anita asked, completely oblivious to treatments for this form of cancer, as she’d never heard of it. She had growing interest though. She cared for Kevin greatly and wanted to be more educated with it.

Again, Brian shook his head, “Surgery. They do surgery to remove the tumors off of the bones if they can. If they can’t, amputations are highly likely to make sure they do remove all of the cancer cells. Before the doctors amputated though, the decided to try to kill the rest of the cancer cells with the chemo…beings it was Kevin’s wish, since he is a performer and refused the normal procedure.”

Anita blanked for several moments. The word amputations had made her stomach churn. That wouldn’t affect her feelings for Kevin in the least, however it proved just how nasty what he had was. Many things were against him. For one, he’d let it spread. Two, he refused to let them do what they needed to get all of the cancer out, for obviously the chemotherapy wasn’t designed to do everything with his form. And three, he now had this infection that was setting him back and now costing him his life. Anita hoped that if he ever did get well, he would just let them take whatever limbs they needed from him to make sure that the cancer would likely never return to him. Some tears formed in her eyes…tears that would refuse to come due to all of the crying she had faced in days prior. It was no wonder Kevin hadn’t told her himself. It was devastating and heart-wrenching. He probably wanted to deny it all because of everything he’d gone through already before her arrival and his chemo treatments.

Anita felt a pair of strong arms going around her to try to comfort her. All of the information she’d heard was a little much at once and he understood that it was hard to grasp all at once, as he and the other had had the same problem. She looked sideways and saw that it was Brian. She put her arms around him in return, and soon, the five of them were in a group hug. They would all need each other if they were going to stay sane during the remainder of this nightmare. They were all going to stick together, staying strong for one another and for Kevin until what appeared to be nearly the end.

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“You doing okay?”

Anita looked up to see Brian standing in her doorway. She must have blanked, for she was sitting in her dark room alone with no signs that she’d been occupied with anything. Anita started to nod, but changed her mind and started to shake her head. She needed to be truthful to herself as well as everyone else.

“Can I come in?”

Anita nodded to this, “Where are the others?” she asked him softly.

“Back at the hotel. I wanted to stay a little longer with Kevin though.” He shrugged, “I can’t seem to leave.”

Anita nodded, understanding what he meant. As Brian pulled a chair up to her bed to sit down, she stated, “You can turn a light on if you like.”

“Naw,” Brian drawled, “The darkness sort of seems to fit the mood.”

Anita couldn’t agree more. The bright light of her hospital room would seem unfitting to how she felt. Neither said anything for a couple of minutes, and Anita wondered what the point of the visit was anyways. Maybe he was just lonely, like her? In need of a companion…somebody to talk to.

“So, um, are you okay?” Anita asked him lamely in a desperate attempt to break the silence.

“I don’t know,” Brian admitted, “I’m trying to think that if it wasn’t Kevin’s time, he wouldn’t be going through this. It’s still extremely hard though.” He paused, “How are you since you found out everything though?”

“It was definitely a blow,” Anita replied, “I wasn’t expecting it, yet it makes me want to love him more. That doesn’t really make much sense, but it is definitely how I feel…” her voice trailed off.

There were a few more minutes of peaceful silence. Anita felt awkward for some reason with Brian being there. She wasn’t sure why, but she just did. It wasn’t a safety issue, for she knew that he wasn’t the type who’d try to hurt her in any way. Anita figured that it was probably due to the fact that neither knew what to say. Neither wanted to upset the other in any way, therefore were choosing their few words carefully.

“His girlfriend back in Florida couldn’t deal with it…” Brian’s voice trailed off when he saw the look of extreme jealousy flash through the girls eyes, deciding to drop the subject and change it to a new one, “I can’t believe this his happening to someone like Kevin,” Brian stated out of nowhere, “Nobody deserves it, but especially not him. He’s always been so kind and good hearted. It seems bad things always happen to the best though.”

“You know, Nick said something along those lines not so long ago,” Anita recalled, “You both prove an amazingly good point.” She sighed, “I keep trying so hard not to be sad and think optimistically, but it just doesn’t seem to work. I don’t want to face the truth yet, but I know that I probably have to.”

“It’s okay to be said…we all are.” Brian assured her grimly as a tear trickled down his cheek, “It’s reality though…so I suppose we all need to face it.”

Anita nodded, “I’m really sorry for all of you…since you’ve all been so close for so long. And since he is your cousin…. It sucks for me because he’s the only guy I’ve ever truly fallen in love with…and seemed to love me back. I’ll never find someone I am so compatible with ever again.” She sighed as she choked back tears of emotion. She was beginning to see that Brian’s words from earlier that day held true…they would all need to be there for each other, as things seemed to just get harder as good memories from everyone started to flood back.