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Chapter Four

The next day rolled around faster than Anita would have liked. At exactly ten o’ clock in the morning, she stiffly walked down to the chemo room, where her first session would take place. She was afraid. Terrified. Petrified. No word could describe well enough how she felt. Anita wished that she wasn’t alone. She hated the thought of going through chemotherapy without anybody by her side. She hated the unknown...especially when that unknown was something that was bad.

Wandering around the somewhat unknown halls, Anita wondered where the chemo treatment room was. She had been told where it was, but had only been listening half way, causing her to walk aimlessly around in hopes to accidentally run in to it. She didn’t want to have to stop and ask anybody, admitting she didn’t listen. She wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. She could hear it now. The nagging voice of a nurse saying that if she wasn’t responsible, it would prevent her from getting well. Anita knew from now on, she’d have to listen more carefully. She’d also forgotten her bear to hold on too. Looking up at a clock on the wall, she saw that she was already five minutes late, knowing that there wasn’t time for her to go back and get it. She’d have to do without it this time. She sighed, knowing she would have to move faster and find the place soon.

After a few more wrong turns down halls and many times of turning around, she finally found the right place. Above the door, in lit letters was the word Chemotherapy. She began to shake as she pushed open the glass door, walking inside. A receptionist looked up as the door softly closed. The room was brightly lit. Too brightly lit for Anita. She felt that the lights should be dimmed, to fit the setting and mood of the place. Then again, maybe they were kept bright for a reason. As she looked around, she soon neared the receptionist desk. Looking ahead of her, she offered a shaky smile to the woman who looked tired and worn out.

“Name please?” she asked

“Anita Rodriguez,” Anita whispered, her voice barely audible, however the receptionist must have heard her for she typed something in to her computer, “Where do I need to go?” she asked, and the lady held up one finger, telling Anita to hold on for a moment.

Anita stood there, looking around again. She felt highly uncomfortable, as if she were a speck of something being examined under a microscope. And she pretty much was. She was a human stuck in the hospital, there for doctors to examine her and do tests on her. In all reality, she was pretty much a scientific experiment. If all went well, good, but if not, she lost. She would die. They would experiment on others hoping for a better outcome. Anita knew that if she told her theory to anybody, they would think that she was demented and twisted, and in all reality, maybe she was. But at that moment, there was no way she could have a positive outlook on things. It was morally impossible to her, to say the least.

“You were scheduled for fifteen minutes ago,” the lady spoke.

Anita cringed at the irritation in her voice. She was not getting off to a very good start here. Anita searched her brain for what to say to make things better, but nothing came. She sighed in defeat, knowing she had nothing creative to say.

“I got lost,” Anita said, “It took me awhile to find the right place.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, looking at Anita skeptically. Anita just shrugged her small shoulders, waiting to be told where to go next.

“Just through the door behind me. The other three ten o’clock appointments are already there, so take the seat that’s left.”

Anita nodded once, thanking the lady before quickly scurrying in to the room. She looked around, seeing a row of two chairs with an older man and middle aged woman who were reading magazines. The expressions on their face wasn’t pleasant, telling her what she had already told was true: the treatments were no picnic in the park. She walked past them and around a corner, stopping short. There was an empty seat next to the person she wanted to see least. Kevin. She was tempted to run, far, far away from the man who’d been nothing but rude to her, and skip out on her treatments. She decided quickly against that route though. The sooner she started, the sooner she’d be out of the hospital. If she skipped, it would make her more prone to not getting well. If Anita knew one thing, it was that days made all the difference in the world when it came to cancer.

Taking a deep breath, she neared Kevin, forcing herself to take the steps towards him. Before her first encounter with him, she’d only dreamed of what it would be like to meet any member of her favorite vocal group. But now...now she wanted nothing to do with the man whom she was stuck in the same hospital with. Even though no words were spoken, she could tell that he thought he was superior than the rest.

As she took the seat next to Kevin, he looked up from the book he was reading, and over at her. Although she was looking straight ahead of her, she could see out of the corner of her eye him looking at her. It made her feel awkward and she wished that he would just mind his own business. No such luck though. She could see him finger the page he was on, holding it as a bookmark as he closed the book.

“What a coincidence seeing you here,” he stated, “A little late though, aren’t we?”

“Mind your own damned business.” Anita grumbled.

Kevin chuckled lightly. Her stubborn attitude intrigued him to keep going. He was bound to find out more about this girl. He was bound to break the hard shell she’d built around herself against him and befriend her.

“First day?” he asked, his green eyes never laying off of her.

Anita didn’t reply, wondering when the session was going to start. She was trying to hard to ignore the egotistical man, but wondered if there was a reason he was talking, and a reason everyone was preoccupied with something else. She suddenly wished she’d brought something of her own to do, but at least knew better for next time.

“Must be,” Kevin automatically assumed, “I can tell by how tense you are.”

That did it for Anita. She whipped her head
around, staring in to his eyes. There was fire in her own. She just stared at him for a moment.

“Did you ever think that I was tense because I don’t want to be around you?” she spat, “I don’t like you. I swear, you are as clueless as Nick seems.”

Kevin laughed, “I see you catch on to ole’ Nick’s clueless nature,” the laughter soon began to die though, “He’s a good guy though. He tries.”

Anita snorted, “Oh yeah, just like I used to think that you were a good guy,” she rolled her eyes, “Glad I met you, because you proved me oh so wrong, chico.”

All was silent for a moment, as Kevin was unsure as to how to reply to the bitter remark. He’d never been perceived as rude before, and the thought baffled him. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, wondering if he should even try. He looked at the girls features. He found her to be beautiful, but was afraid that if he told her so, she would try to press charges for assault.

“To answer your question, yes, this is my first day,” Anita spoke.

Kevin nodded knowingly and Anita wished she could slap the smug look off of his face. It would relieve so much tension that she had built up inside of her. She looked away from him, staring straight ahead again, hoping that it would give him the hint that she was done speaking with him. He didn’t look away though, and it was all that she could do not to show her frustration.

“I could tell,” Kevin told her, “By the way you’re acting.”

Anita looked at Kevin, clapping her hands together with a false, forced smile on her lips as well as a look of surprise.

“Good job. Kevin earns a cookie,” she spat, her voice dripping in sarcasm, “Want to see if you can earn another?”

Kevin looked at her strangely, finally turning his head away. He opened his book back up and started reading again. Anita was thankful that he’d finally gotten the message that she wanted nothing to do with him...for now, anyways. She gave it a day or two before he was in her hair again. That gave her a day or two to come up with a plan to keep him out however.

Minutes later, a nurse came out, standing directly above Anita. She looked up at the young woman, knowing that her fate had come. Without saying a word, she took the IV that was next to Anita, sticking the needle carefully in to her and un-clamping the tube. She walked away and Anita watched as the liquid slowly moved through the tubes as the drug treatment went in to her body. Almost the instant that it hit her veins, pain inflicted her entire body. She winced, turning her head away from Kevin so he wouldn’t see the tears of pain streaking her face. That’s the last thing that she wanted...Kevin getting pleasure out of seeing her in that state. He must have sensed it anyways though, because she felt a hand on top of hers. Looking over, she saw that Kevin had discarded of his book completely and was looking at her with sympathetic, comforting eyes.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” he asked.

Anita just nodded, “You coulda warned me.” she sniffled, wanting to just scream in agony. It would make her feel so much better.

“I would have, but would you have listened?” Kevin asked

Anita hesitated before shaking her head slowly. She was pretty sure she would not have listened. She was stubborn, and being she wasn’t particularly making good terms with the man, she didn’t think she would have even taken his words of advice in to consideration.

“Can I give you a hint of advice?” he asked her then

Anita shook her head again. She couldn’t understand why he was trying to be nice to her when she’d done nothing but treat him like what was on the bottom of her shoes. She did know though that she didn’t plan on treating him special any time soon. Anita bit her lip as a massive pain shot through her arm. She could taste blood from biting so hard and all she wanted was for the session to be over. She did have one question in mind though for Kevin. After contemplating whether or not to ask and a few hesitations, she opened her mouth and spoke.

“Why does the chemo not seem to affect you?” she asked, her voice coming out in a whisper because if she let it come out loud, she knew it would tremble and squeak, “I mean, why is it you’re sitting there as if it is nothing?”

Kevin shrugged, “Keeping a positive attitude,” he replied simply, “As much as I want to let everything out, I figure keeping a positive attitude will help me in the long run.”

Anita snorted. If only she could be as strong as him, but as her tears continued to fall, she knew that she wasn’t nor ever would be.

The remainder of the session was drawn out in silence. Neither spoke, and Kevin had returned to his novel. Anita sat there, silent tears cascading down her cheeks. Now she knew why everybody brought something to preoccupy them. It was to perform as a distraction to keep their mind off of what was happening to them. She was going to make sure that for the next time, she too brought something, although she didn’t see how anything could help.

What seemed like an eternity and a half later, the nurse came in and released Kevin. He smiled at her, which looked to her like a smile of encouragement before walking away. She sighed, knowing since she was late, she’d be let go later than the rest, and she was after a long, grueling seventeen minutes. As soon as she stood up, her body swayed from weakness, the chemo knocking out any zest she had in her. She was drained of energy and felt nauseous. Staggering towards the door to leave, Anita knew that she would need help getting to her room, but not before she threw up. In a panic, she turned to the nurse, her voice coming out low.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

The nurse took her arm and gently led her there, holding her hair back for her as she heaved in to the toilet. Anita didn’t know how she was going to survive the next few months, especially if she had nobody to go through it with. Kevin came to her mind, and as much as she disliked the idea, she thought that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to make nice with him, just until they were both well enough to go home. That way, she would at least have somebody. With another sigh, Anita slumped her shoulders, feeling as if she’d thrown up all that was in her. At the thought of being nice to Kevin, she couldn’t help but wonder if the chemotherapy was affecting her brain.