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**Chapter Seven**

Anita stared at her reflection in the mirror as she ran her hand over her now completely bald head. It felt smooth to the touch, although Anita hated how she looked even more than before. The puffiness had gone down, but she looked worse than ever. Her complection was a ghostly white how, her veins showing through her skin as if it were transparent. Her eyes were constantly swollen red and the normally dark brown irises of her eyes were completely grey and lifeless. She wished that she could go buy a wig and a little makeup to bring some color back in to her, but she didn’t think that her wish would be granted. She was stuck looking like a living dead girl. Besides, makeup would probably only make her look like a freak, something along the lines of Marilyn Manson, or worse yet, transsexual, beings since she’d become completely bald, she looked like a boy, or at least in her own eyes she did. Either way, when it came to her looks, it was a lose, lose situation. Anita knew that she shouldn’t care and was probably being shallow worrying about her appearance while in the hospital, but she didn’t care. She hated feeling ugly, and when it came down to it, hating herself was probably delaying her recovery.

Slinking away from the mirror slowly, Anita left her room to go down to the activity center. She hoped to find something to do down there that wouldn’t make her boredom remain. After a full three and a half weeks in the hospital, she still hadn’t found anything to do that was slightly entertaining. Maybe this time would be different.

Once down in the center, as soon as she walked in, a calendar caught her eye. It was August 21st. The day that her and her friends were supposed to leave for Tampa that day. Her friends were still going, leaving her behind without guilt nor pity. In fact, they hadn’t come to visit her since they’d decided that they were going to go without her. She felt their strain every time they came anyways, like a sixth sense. It was obvious that they felt uncomfortable around them and that she really was no longer a part of their group. She was the sickly freak, they were normal and healthy, wanting nothing to do with the burden she felt she’d become.

With a sigh, Anita forced herself to look away from the calendar, walking away. They were on their way to Tampa on the other side of the country, she was stuck in New Mexico...in the hospital...enduring large amounts of suffering and pain. Anita knew that she was engulfed with self pity, however she didn’t care. Her life was being robbed from her, taking her friends with it. All she had left was Taylor, the ex, and Kevin.

Speaking of Kevin, she saw him sitting alone on a small couch reading a magazine. Anita smiled as her heart beat accelerated, making her way over to him. She noticed that he looked a little more sickly than normal as she approached, and worry struck her that his condition was worsening. Anita sat next to him carefully and quietly, not wanting to disturb him. He looked away from his magazine anyways though and smiled at her.

“Hey there,” he greeted, leaning over to give her a soft kiss on her lips. He closed the magazine, setting it down on the table beside him before he wrapped an arm around Anita, “I was starting to miss you.”

Anita smiled back as she leaned in to him and gave him a kiss in return. Ever since their first kiss a week ago, they’d been, in a sense, dating. Their relationship was rising above friendship quickly. Anita knew that it was only a matter of time before Kevin made it official that they really were in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. The thought thrilled her, for he was able to look past her disgusting appearance and appreciate her for who she was. They had a kind of chemistry, a connection, that she could only dream about finding before then. Even through their rocky start, somehow, they were able to create a close bond that couldn’t be broken. They were there for each other, needed one another, and she was thankful every day that she’d decided to give Kevin another chance to prove that he wasn’t the ass hole he’d first appeared to be.

“Hi,” she replied softly, intertwining her fingers within his of his free hand. She looked up at him and smiled, although he could tell that it wasn’t all natural. He tried to search her eyes with his, to read in to her thoughts, but couldn’t tell what was on her mind.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Kevin asked her.

Anita shrugged and looked down, avoiding his gaze. How was she supposed to tell him what was on her mind without him thinking that she was being shallow and childish. After all, she was nineteen. He was thirty-three. He wouldn’t put up with her if he felt that he was too mature for her. She feared that he would think that, but rather it be later than sooner.

“Anita, you can tell me anything,” Kevin soothed, his tone soft and gentle as he pulled her in to his arms closer, holding on to her within his muscular grasp, “You know that. I’m here for you. Please tell me what’s on your mind.”

Anita took in a deep breath, still not looking up. Her body began to shake, trying to find the words to speak. She knew what she wanted to say, but not how she wanted to say it.

“I’m losing everything,” she whispered, “My friends...they quit coming to see me. They left for a vacation we all planned together...taking off with money that I put in for it. Nobody cares,” she looked away before muttering sadly, “I’ve got nothing.”

Kevin took her hand and rubbed his thumb on it in small circles. He didn’t say anything for a moment, making Anita fear that he thought her as a spoiled, selfish brat. But then he spoke the words that she’d been dying to hear.

“You’ve got me,” he whispered huskily.

Anita looked back at Kevin and smiled as her eyes met his, locking. She didn’t think that she could have been any happier at that moment. Kevin proved that he truly cared about her, and that no matter how lonely she felt, he’d be there for her at least.

“That’s all I really need then.” Anita replied, her voice soft and feathery.

They stared into one another’s eyes for a moment longer before Kevin drew her in for a passionate kiss, sealing everything, telling her that this was for real and not just some game to him. And to her, that meant everything.

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Anita grinned to herself as she made her way to Kevin’s room. It was later on that night and they’d planned to meet in his room at around eight for dinner. Kevin had arranged to have carry out Italian ordered from a local restaurant. She found it romantic, and nobody had ever done anything so for her, including Taylor.

Humming the tune to her favorite love song, Anita continued on to his room, but stopped short once she was at his doorway. Her smile faded as she suddenly felt like a nuisance and as if she were interrupting something, for Kevin had company already, telling her that their plans wouldn’t be taking place after all. They seemed to be in a deep conversation and like they were having a good time. She couldn’t deny Kevin the opportunity of having a friend there when he hadn’t had any for so long. She wasn’t sure if she should say anything or not, but before she could decide, Kevin spotted her. He smiled and waved.

“Anita, I’m glad you showed up,” Kevin stated enthusiastically, beaconing her into the room, “I want you to meet my friend, Nick. He came to surprise me.”

Anita walked in self consciously as she stuck her hand out for Nick to shake. She was nervous, for she was meeting yet another member of her favorite band, but he hadn’t done anything to set her off and break the odd ice breaker as Kevin had.

Nick too, was wearing a disguise, or trying to, like Kevin had in the beginning. Kevin had strayed away from his now, figuring that it was useless to wear it and that his secret was safe. No word would get out of his being there. Nick, on the other hand, was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, a wig that made his blonde hair be covered by a rug of black that was shaggy, sticking out from under a baseball cap that was on backwards. His attire was from Abercrombie. That she knew, for it was her favorite store and had shopped for Taylor there frequently when they’d been together.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Nick stated, making Anita to blush, something she hardly ever did. She looked over to Kevin, and couldn’t help but notice that he was looking a little more ill than earlier. She was worried about him, but didn’t want to call attention to it with Nick right there.

“Same,” Anita managed, giving a weak smile, feeling her nervousness start to slowly leave her body, “It’s about time one of Kev’s friends come to see him. He’s been lonely without you guys.”

Nick looked down, ashamed that none of them had come sooner. There was an awkward silence and Anita felt bad for breaking the good mood that had filtered the room just seconds before. When nobody still said anything, Anita felt like kicking herself as she silently scolded herself.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered.

“Nah, it’s okay,” Nick replied quickly, not wanting the girl Kevin was obviously crazy for feel even worse, “We’ve called, but I guess it’s not the same. I don’t know why it took me so long to come. I would’ve brought the others, but it might have drawn too much attention and I didn’t want to risk it.”

Nick offered an apologetic smile with guilt filled eyes.

“That’s all the past,” Kevin quickly stated before Nick felt any worse, “What matters is that you finally did show up and are here now...and perfect timing to meet the new woman in my life.”

Anita glowed. It sounded as if she and Kevin really were an item. Nick looked at her and smiled once more. She tried to hold back a laugh for by the look on Nick’s face, she could tell that he was about to say something incredibly stupid.

“You’ve got a gorgeous face, so I can see why Kevin would go for you...but he normally, ehm, goes for chicks with long hair,” he paused before adding, “You should grow some.”

Anita’s smile faded and she could hear Kevin gasp as his arms tightened around her. She looked at him and could see anger fill his face as his mouth continued to hang open.

“Nick, she—,” Kevin began but was cut off by Anita speaking up to defend herself.

“I used to have hair,” she stated cooly, her eyes burning in to him like coal, “Long black hair. But cancer kinda causes you to lose it, weather you like it or not. I’d grow it back if I could...but right now, I just can’t.”

Nick bit his lip, knowing that he couldn’t say anything to dig himself out of this hole that he’d buried himself in. He was stuck up to his neck in mud. Anita turned her to Kevin, hurt in her eyes. For the first time since she’d lost her hair, she’d been feeling okay about herself. No thanks to Nick though, that new found confidence was lost again, and Kevin could see it.

“I’m gonna go,” she stated in sad monotone, “To my room. I’ll see ya later.”

Anita gave Kevin a quick kiss on the mouth before turning and running before either of the two could see her lip quavering and the tears spilling from her eyes. They both watched her flee, Nick speechless, Kevin angry. Kevin turned to his friend. If looks could kill, Nick woulda been done over twice for the senseless comment he’d uttered aloud.

“Um, shit...” Nick stated, as if he was unsure of what to say.

“Uh huh, shit is right,” Kevin sneered, shaking his head in disgust before fleeing after Anita in hopes to comfort her, leaving Nick alone in the room knowing he’d made a mistake.