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**Chapter Eight**

Anita sat alone in her room on the rock hard hospital bed. She had it reclined into a sitting position as she hugged her knees close to her, the thin white blanket wrapped around her. She buried her head into her knees as she felt more tears coming. What Nick had said had been harsh to her ears and had hurt her. She’d have thought that the blonde, though he often said things without thinking from what she’d learned through being a fan, would have had enough common sense to know that with cancer came chemo and with that came losing hair. She’d thought he would have had enough common sense not to speak aloud of the sensitive subject. She’d been wrong though.

Anita sniffled loudly. Kevin’s sweetness had made her gain back a lot of her self confidence, for he’d made her feel as if she were beautiful despite being bald and pale. Now she felt hideous all over again, and something else bothered her. Nick had said that Kevin always went for girls with long hair. That definitely was not her. So did he wish that he had someone else...with hair?

Anita was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t hear a soft knock on the open door. She just continued to stare in to space, wishing that she’d be taken out of all of this pain and suffering. Wishing that at that moment, she’d just die. The knock came again moments later, only this time, Anita heard it. She looked over and saw Kevin standing there looking more handsome than ever. She looked away without saying a word. There was silence for a minute and Anita wasn’t sure if he’d left or was still there. She got her answer when he finally spoke.

“Can I come in?” came his soft, masculine voice.

Anita shrugged her shoulders, not much in the mood for speaking with words. She still didn’t look at him, but could hear his footsteps padding against the floor as he neared, hearing the soft squeak of the wheels to his IV cart trailing behind him as they rolled across the floor, and then he was right next to her. He stood there for a moment before putting a comforting hand on her knee slowly, as if he were afraid to make a wrong move.

“Are you okay?” Kevin asked her after awhile.

Again, Anita did nothing but shrug. Talking would take too much effort and plus she didn’t want him to hear the shake in her voice. If she spoke, she knew that she’d start to cry again, and she’d just stopped the previous batch of tears from falling.

“Honey, please don’t be mad at me,” Kevin pleaded sadly, “Please talk to me.”

Anita took in a deep breath, trying to will herself not to cry before speaking out loud. She knew that she had to unless she wanted Kevin to think that she was upset with both him and Nick. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I’m not angry with you, Kev,” she finally said, “I’m not really mad at Nick either, I suppose. Agitated, yes...but...” she paused, her brows furrowing as the incident all came back to her in a rush, the feeling of hurt throttling her at full force again, “Hell, ya know what? I am mad at him.”

Kevin chuckled at Anita’s quick turn around. Her feisty, fiery attitude was what had drawn him to her in the first place.

“Nick didn’t mean any harm by it, although I’m upset with him too. He should have known better,” he paused for a moment.

“That still doesn’t make it alright,” Anita told him, really looking at him for the first time since he’d arrived.

Kevin sighed, not really knowing how to reply to that. He was the boyfriend. He was supposed to have the answers to try and solve all of his girls problems, yet this time he didn’t and was afraid if he didn’t say something, he’d be failing her.

“I know,” he said after a moment, then added lamely, “I’ll talk to him later about it. Nick always speaks without thinking. This time, he went too far.”

Kevin could sense that Anita was still upset. He leaned in and gave her a comforting hug and sighed in relief when he felt her arms go around him in return. He was glad to know that she wasn’t holding his friends asinine moves against him.

When they let go, Anita looked at Kevin and smiled, but it faded when she got a good look at him. His features were more pale than normal with a yellowish cast to his skin tone. His eyes had dark circles under them and were bloodshot. He looked to be in severe pain, but as if he were trying to hide it. Anita gulped, thinking that he didn’t look well at all. If she’d thought he looked bad before, he looked even worse now.

“Kevin, are you sure you’re okay?” Anita questioned with concern, “You’re not looking so well today.”

“Gee, thanks babe,” he joked.

“I’m just worried about you.” Anita spoke up defensively.

Kevin smiled at her warmly, “I know,” he stated, “And I appreciate it. I’m fine though. Just exhausted from the events today. I’ll be fine in the morning.”

He squeezed Anita’s hand reassuringly when he saw that she didn’t look convinced. He felt her tense posture loosen up a bit. He didn’t want her to worry, but he wasn’t feeling as well as he had been in previous weeks, or even days. Since the night before, he’d been feeling rather lousy, but figured it was just part of the treatment process, deciding not to make a big deal of it. If he let on that he was feeling under the weather though, he knew Anita would worry, which again, he didn’t want her to do.

“I’m gonna go back to talk with Nick,” Kevin told her, “You’re welcome to come on over.”

“I think I’ll pass,” Anita informed him with a scowl.

Kevin laughed, “Alright then. I’ll see you later,” he stopped looking at her as if studying her over, “Sure you’ll be okay alone for a little bit?”

“I’m nineteen. I can be left alone and entertain myself.”

“Okay then,” he gave her one more hug and a kiss, “I’ll see ya later babe.”

“See ya, sweetie,” Anita replied as she watched him walk out the door.

Once he was gone, she slumped down into the bed. She was glad that he’d cared enough to check on her. She just hoped that Nick wouldn’t take up his every moment. She was already jealous that Nick was there preoccupying Kevin with his time and there was one thing for sure. She wouldn’t be joining the duo any time soon.

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With fluttering eyes, Anita slowly awoke from her unconscious sleeping state. She stretched her arms upward as far as she could without ripping her IV out of her arm, yawning softly. Once her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, she looked over to her bedside at the clock. It was 12:18, but seemed like it should be in the middle of the night. Time was going by at an impossibly slow rate and even the hour and a half that she’d slept had gone by slowly. She missed Kevin, and just thinking of him made her heart ache for him.

Upon thinking of her new boyfriend, Anita sat up straight in her bed, more alert than she’d been in a long while, especially for just waking up. She had a funny feeling that something wasn’t right. She didn’t know why, but for some reason, felt a queasy feeling in her stomach. She figured that it was only because she knew that Kevin hadn’t looked very good for the past couple of days, and it had only seemed to get worse. He’d assured her that he had felt fine though, and she wanted to believe him, but it didn’t stop her from getting out of bed and walking slowly out of her room quietly in the wee hours of the morning to check on him. She walked down the long hallway to where his room was stationed at, knowing that she’d want to visit with him weather she had the unnerving feeling or not. Her heart thudded in her chest the closer she got, worry consuming her body. The feeling kept getting stronger and stronger until she was just outside of his doorway. Taking a deep breath, almost afraid to go in, Anita forced herself too. She was unwantedly welcomed by quietness and an empty, unmade bed. Anita scanned the dark room for any sign of Kevin as she entered. She saw nothing and heard nothing, knowing that she was the only sign of life in the small room. She walked further in to the room anyways though, in hopes to see him somewhere. Nothing. Anita could feel herself starting to panic, her breathing coming out in short, heavy breaths.

“They took him away about an hour ago,” came a voice from behind her. Anita jumped, finding herself face to face with Nick, “Just a little while after he came back from your room.” Nick added, shifting from left foot to right uncomfortably.

Anita continued to stare at him, wondering who ‘they’ were and what Nick was talking about. He wasn’t making much sense, and his lack of details wasn’t helping much. She wanted to stay clear of the blonde, but knew that she’d have to swallow her pride and speak to him, for now anyways, to get any real answers concerning Kevin.

“What do you mean?” she questioned, “Where is Kevin?”

“The doctors...they took him to ICU...isolation ICU or something,” Anita gulped upon hearing this. They only took patients there if they were pretty bad off. This piece of information scared her, “His temperature shot way up...he started sweating, but insisted he was fine...but when he started having trouble breathing...” Nick’s voice trailed off and Anita could hear the slight tremble in it even if he was trying to stay composed, “Anyways, I paged for a doctor on the bed ringer thingy...they took him. Something about an infection.”

Anita froze, unable to think of anything to say. She was speechless in many senses. Getting infections when it came to cancer was about the worst thing that could happen. What troubled her more though was that she could tell from that morning that he wasn’t feeling well, and he had looked terrible. But because of the simple fact that he’d insisted that he was okay, Anita had foolishly let it go. And now, it could be causing him his life. The part about isolation still troubled her too. That Kevin was alone in a completely sterile environment, fighting to shake the infection and reduce his temperature again. Until that happened, there was really nothing more they could do for him. His treatments would be on a temporary halt, causing the risk of whatever he had to spread. Things would only get worse from there, as once cancer started to spread, it was almost too late to do anything about it and have the chance to have it cured.


“Anyways,” Nick stated after nothing was said for a short while, “I thought I’d find you here when you weren’t in your room...and well, thought you should know. I mean, since you’re his girl and all. I know that we didn’t exactly get off on great terms, but...I thought you should know and didn’t know how else you’d find out and stuff.”

He shifted from foot to foot in complete discomfort, almost as if he were shy and squirmish, not able to wait for his chance to break free.

Anita still said nothing. She stood there, her mouth hanging open slightly, still in shock over the news. She heard what Nick was saying, she was comprehending it, even grasping it. She could still think of no words to say though. Her boyfriend was possibly dying, and she’d let the signs slip past her, and now there was nothing she could do but wait and see what fate had in store for him. Nick just stared at her for a long moment, as if waiting for her to speak her thoughts on the matter. He sensed something wasn’t right though when she still said nothing. Cocking his head to one side, he looked at her in curiosity before speaking again, his voice telling her that he was becoming afraid.

“What?” he asked, “It’s a normal part of cancer treatment, right?” Nick questioned, his voice telling her that he was looking for whatever answer would tell him what he wanted to hear, whether it was the truth or not, “I mean, Kevin’s going to be okay, right?”

Anita gulped. She knew what was happening, however Nick didn’t. She looked into his eyes for the first real time and saw fear, and almost felt sorry for him despite the heartless comment he’d spoke her way. She could tell that Nick and Kevin were close friends and that Nick cared for the older man greatly She hated to be the one to tell him the reality of the situation, but knew he deserved to know the truth. Her mouth was still dry, but somehow she managed to speak.

“I don’t know,” she mustered the courage to say, “Complications like this can happen, although in a lot of cases, the patients hit remission without many complications.”

“So, what...” Nick asked, “He’s going to be okay...like, get better and be fine though, right?” he prodded, desperately trying to get a positive answer.

Anita shook her head sadly, tears trickling down her cheeks for the first time. Nick’s naivety was painful to her. She wished that he’d just understand the seriousness of this without all the questions. She wished that he’d just be smart for once. She took in a deep breath, knowing the sooner she answered, the better off they’d all be.

“With infections, it delays things. If...if things are delayed too long, the treatments wont do any good any more. If that happens, the cancer will take over and Kevin will...he’ll die.”

Anita squeezed her eyes shut in hopes to push away the tears. Speaking it aloud made the situation all the more real. It wasn’t working. When she opened her eyes again, what she saw made her wish she’d kept her eyes shut crying silently, for Nick had tears of his own streaking his face. At last, he understood.