The letters stared up at Kevin as if they were taunting him to read them, laughing in his face, disgracing him. They were antagonizing him, screaming up at him to pick them up, and read their contents against his will. It was all Kevin could do not to do just that, as he kept his hands to himself in antsy apprehension, glaring at them as if they contained poison and upon opening them, he would be contaminated with death. He wanted no part in this, however he knew that he had to read them, for they contained information that could be used to shower the group’s name with golden trim even further once turned into the media. A little more showering definitely wouldn’t hurt, and these letters very well could be their very last tie with the women. Everything could go back to normal, the whole accident forgotten. That would be the best thing in the world to Kevin at the moment. He couldn’t wait. The end was oh so close, yet so far away.
Taking a deep breath, Kevin decided it was time to just get it over with seeing what the two annoying girls had to say and see what parts should be deleted for the media’s sake. He shook his head in disgust, reaching over and plucking them up as if the envelopes contained anthrax. He scrunched his nose up and dug the first letter out of the envelope, opening it up to read it.
AJ, Brian, Howie, Kevin and Nick-
I just wanted to thank you all for coming to visit while I was in the hospital and not doing well. Being cooped up sucks, but having visitors helped....especially visits from those who truly wanted to be there.
Kevin shook his head with a grunt, knowing she was referring to Howie and no one else. He knew that, the other Boys knew that, but the media wouldn’t know that, which was the way it was intended in the letter. Putting his concentration back on the letter, he continued to read.
Bright genuine smiles and gifts from the heat made all the difference in the world and although I am not glad that this happened ( I mean, my dancing career is over and I have many surgeries ahead of me to fix my mangled leg), I suppose the end result wasn’t so horrible after all. It could have been a lot worse, and I guess I’ve made a few new friends out of it...even if it did take others of you a little longer to come around. But hey, no hard feelings any longer, right?
Thanks again. I hope once this is all said and done, you won’t forget about Rhiannon and me. I can’t believe I am saying this, but at least keep in touch.
Savvy
P.S. You don’t have to include this in the version you submit to the media...like you would anyways, but Kevin...I am sorry we were such burdens to you. You didn’t have to show it though. Yes, you’re an ass, but that doesn’t bother me as much as it does Ann. At least we both know where the world stands if it gets in the way of your music. I guess in every group, there is one heartless bastard. You are the Justin Timberlake of BSB. I just hope that with your egotistical ways, you won’t keep your ‘Posse’ from speaking to us.
Kevin rolled his green eyes, folding the letter back up and placing it atop the envelope. He sat back, almost afraid to read Rhiannon’s letter as he thought about what Savannah had written. She sure did have a way with words to make the intended party see past the simple words that most outsiders wouldn’t even think anything of. And in the last part, what did she mean by that his attitude didn’t bother her as much as Ann? It definitely brought up some unanswered questions in his mind that he wished wouldn’t have surfaced and assume not have answers to, but couldn’t help but want the answers.
“Stupid woman,” he mumbled to himself, leaning forward, “Has to make me read in to everything... probably brainwashed the other pansies into turning sweet towards her to get her own selfish, whiney way.”
He shook his head in disbelief, his mind set that his thoughts were the way it was as he picked up Rhiannon’s letter. He opened it up, starring at the soft, playful curves of her handwriting in the aqua blue pen she’d used.
Dear Kevin, Howie, Nick, AJ and Brian~
Hi. How are you all? Well, I hope. I’m doing okay, given the circumstances, but just glad to be alive. I’m very thankful for that, as well as for your caring nature towards Savvy and me. It’s good to know that you didn’t turn your backs and run, leaving us for long, painful stays in the hospital, or worse yet, flee the scene and let us drown. That in itself shows that you’re genuine, loving people. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I really don’t know what else to say...I’ve never been good with words really, for I feel I ramble, so I am just going to leave it simple. Thank you for your visits, cards, flowers, gifts and get well wishes. If it wasn’t for that, who knows if I’d have had the strength to get out of ICU so quickly, and Lord knows Savvy would still be a complete mess. She still is somewhat, deep down, but won’t admit it. She tries to act brave and strong for everyone. Either way though, both of us have come a log way in a lessened time period knowing we had people there for us. I guess it is true that something as simple as that can come a long way.
Love, Rhiannon
Kevin finished reading the letter, almost feeling guilty as he lowered it down to his lap, staring off in to space. The letter said exactly what he would want it to, yet most of it had been a lie. He’d feel bad publishing it knowing not one increment of it was the truth for any of them but Howie. They’d both made it seem like all five took equal part in the visits, but Rhiannon’s wasn’t blaming anybody at any point. She didn’t hold grudges, that much was obvious.
Looking back down, he noticed that there was another piece of paper behind the letter he had just read. Curiosity got the better of him as he put the top sheet behind the bottom, reversing them so he could read what was on the hidden paper:
Kevin~
This one is for you, as you probably have noticed. No publicity intended for this one, just for your eyes only. As we all know the other letter was a lie and, while in the hospital, Howie was the only one who lived up to what I described. No need to go in to any further detail. We all already know what happened, right? AJ, Brian and Nick though...then at least started to try once Savvy and I got home. I mean, really try...and meant it, just like Howie did all along. What I don’t understand is why you couldn’t do the same. That makes me sad.
See, I used to look up to you. You were my role model because in every interview and TV special you Boys were in or on, you always seemed so true and centered on the ground. It seemed that you didn’t let fame and millions of dollars affect you. You were an average person like everyone else, only you were popular by entertainment. That was the only thing that separated you from ninety-nine point nine percent of the population. You didn’t act like you were better than everyone else. You seemed truly sincere. You all did, but something about you seemed...real. This whole situation has made me feel like that was all a publicity stunt as well on your part, fooling everyone, however the others really were being themselves. They’ve already proved it. It hurts because I feel as if I have lost what I had believed in most. I guess life is just that way though, huh? Maybe eventually we’ll get along...but until then...
Kevin felt a gnawing at his heart as he read the letter personalized to him. The letter ended right there, leaving the rest to him, as he assumed. When, where and if he decided to get along with her was in his hands and on his time. One thing he knew for sure though was that after reading her letter, he couldn’t possibly turn them in for publishing to grace his and the group’s name. That would just be proving her point right in her eyes. Besides, suddenly, with a few simple words, Kevin didn’t really care much about the good publicity. He for some reason wanted to make things good and do them the right way like he should have been doing all along instead of being so stubborn, paranoid and anxious about losing reputation and money.
Those, in the end, didn’t matter much. These women’s lives, which he had treated as if meaningless and insignificant, did matter to him now. Kevin buried his head in his hands and shook it in disgust with himself. How could he have screwed up so bad and been so wrong?
He didn’t know why, but until that moment, he hadn’t realized what a complete and utter prick he had been. He hadn’t noticed that he’d been coming off so strongly selfish and strong willed against them. Or maybe he had realized it, but didn’t care until that moment. Something about Rhiannon made him want to go back to being the person she’d described in the letter...the person he knew he was deep down. Now all he had to do was swallow his pride and make an effort to show her that he wasn’t some scum. Kevin just hoped that he could prove it to her and it wasn’t too late.
“So, where to, ma’lady?” AJ asked Savvy once he’d helped her in to his black Convertible, “Today is all yours.”
Savannah rolled her eyes at AJ’s attempt to be charming. Sadly though, he was winning her over as much as she hated to admit it. That was just it though...she wasn’t going to admit it for awhile to come yet, hoping she could contain her female hormones enough to keep her thoughts inside.
“Don’t even try to be a suck up,” Savannah snorted with a small smile,
“We’re going to lunch...nothing special. This is not a date.” But she felt her stomach butterfly despite herself, hoping that her face didn’t give away how she really felt.
AJ chuckled, watching Savannah blush slightly. He put his eyes back on the road, driving away from the condo. Just by looking at her face, AJ knew that she felt the same way about that afternoon as he did. She wasn’t fooling anybody. This was a date and they both knew it. That much was obvious. AJ found it cute though how the young, gorgeous girl was trying to convince him as well as herself otherwise despite herself.
“Thanks for coming out with me today,” AJ said after a few moments of silence, “I’m glad that you said yes.”
“Like I really had a choice.” Savannah joked, “All y’all ganged up on me,” she stuck her tongue out playfully.
AJ shook his head in amusement, concentrating on driving before he got into an accident by being distracted by her beauty and spunk. Savannah just smiled softly as she leaned back, her leg stretched out as she let the wind whip through her hair, tussling it around. The breeze felt good and refreshing in the hot air.
AJ continued to drive, and what Savannah didn’t know was that the man already had planned out where he was taking her. He thought it to be somewhat sweet and romantic. He only hoped that Savannah would feel the same. The absolute last thing that he wanted to do was piss her off and get back up on her shit list when he’d finally just gotten off of it. He was making slow but sure progress and wanted to keep on that steady track, hopefully all the way to her heart. He wanted to be hers, for he’d grown attached to her and loved everything about her. There was something special about this woman, and he’d seen it the first time he’d laid eyes on her after he’d unburied his head from the deep layers of his ass.
Minutes later, AJ was pulling into a near deserted parking lot. Savannah got goose bumps as she felt slightly uneasy by stomach. She tried to hide it though, figuring she was just nervous as she waited for AJ to take care of some business. She wondered where he’d taken her and what he was up to, as he was gone for nearly ten minutes. When he finally did return, he opened up her car door, scooping her up in to his arms as she wrapped her own around his neck.
“Aren’t you little Mr. Romeo,” Savannah joked as he carried her down a small, sandy hill down close to the water. AJ chuckled, not speaking until he was setting her down gently atop of a blanket. Savannah looked around as AJ sat next to her. Her breath caught in her throat.
“Oh, AJ…” she muttered, seeing the picnic he’d set up for her by the shoreline of the ocean, a small vase of daisies. She’d never been one for sappy, girly romance stuff, but what AJ had done was truly sweet and she couldn’t help but be taken over by it as much as she wanted to act all tom-boyish and like it didn’t affect her in the least.
“Do you like it, Savvy?” AJ asked huskily.
Savannah nodded her head, but she got the feeling again...one that something wasn’t quite right. She recognized this place. She did, but couldn’t quite place where from.
“Something wrong?” AJ asked her, worried suddenly.
“Ummm...hmmm...uh, yeah.” Savannah mumbled amidst her trance, “I mean no...I don’t know.”
AJ looked at her with concern as she continued to look around her, the sick feeling becoming stronger. Why was this beautiful beach and surrounding having this effect on her? What was with it? Then suddenly Savannah had it. The memory struck her like a bolt of lightening, like the boat hitting her full force as she was thrown from her own. She jerked, wincing in agonizing remembrance.
“What?” AJ asked, reaching over to wrap an arm around her visibly shaking body, “What’s wrong?”
“Why....why would you...take me here?” she rasped, wishing that she could get up and run away. That was impossible though, for if she even tried....She shuddered at what would happen if she tried. “Are you trying to torture me?”
“Huh?” AJ blanked, not understanding,
“The place that...this is approximately where....the accident...when...” she sputtered, unable to get the words out in her fury.
AJ’s eyes widened in surprise as he drew back. He hadn’t expected such a harsh reaction. He truly had thought he’d been doing a good, kind thing by bringing her there. Kind of to show that he cared about her and remembered where it all happened. That the incident wasn’t insignificant and he hadn’t forgotten as if it was all nothingness. AJ hadn’t seen anything wrong with it, but apparently he had been mistaken. He told her just that, though.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I didn’t realize it was so...sensitive...I truly thought...”
Savannah held up a hand to stop her as she took in a few deep breaths to calm herself. It was a typical guy thing to think he was being sweet but it be to totally wrong. His intentions had been good, but the actual idea had been bad. She knew she couldn’t blame him for it....he was a guy. It was in his DNA not to know any better.
“Do you want to leave....go somewhere else?” AJ asked
“Nah...it’ll be fine.” Savannah replied somewhat unconvincingly.
“Are you sure?” he pressed, “We can leave...I don’t want to stay if you’re uncomfortable here and it’s making you sad...”
“No, it’s fine.” Savannah swallowed, forcing a bright smile, “I can’t avoid every beach now just because of what happened, right?” she laughed forcefully, “It’s fine, I promise. Just brought back some bad memories, but its okay.” she looked in to his eyes, knowing she should at least try to appreciate what he’d done for her, “Thank you. It’s nice.”
AJ looked at her skeptically, but shook it off, knowing the girl was going to be stubborn and never admit that it bothered her again. He had messed up, his good intentions anything but, as hoped that it wasn’t going to make her hold a grudge.
Kevin hesitated as he turned off the ignition to his red Dodge Stealth. It was two days later since he’d read the letters and he had come to the final decision that he needed to go to the condo and try to make things okay with Rhiannon. It was time he acted human, and Rhiannon, he knew, would be the easiest obstacle, so she was first. After he broke through Rhiannon and apologized, getting her to believe him, he would try for Savannah, who’d be a much tougher path to cross. It was the perfect day too because Savannah was out for her lunch date with AJ. As for the others, he wasn’t sure, and he hadn’t spoken to Howie again since the younger man had dropped off the letters.
Taking a deep breath, Kevin took a quick look around before getting out of his car, pushing the door shut and locking it with the car remote as he walked up the driveway and to the doorstep. He paused again for some reason though, knowing that with his big ego, he’d have to swallow a lot of pride in order to admit that he was wrong. He didn’t know if he could do it, but somehow found himself ringing the doorbell to the cute, tidy home that the girls lived in. A minute later, it was being opened to a bright faced Rhiannon, who’s smile fell when she looked up at him.
“Oh,” she muttered, “Here to bitch at me some more...probably for the letter that I wrote to you...even though you deserved it.”
Kevin winced, stung by the soft words of the girl. She wasn’t angry, but rather in a sarcastic, smart ass mood. He swallowed, smiling weakly at her as his heart hammered in his chest, nervous about admitting that for almost three months, he’d been wrong. Dead wrong. It was making him ill thinking about it.
“I guess I deserved that.” he admitted with a small chuckle, figuring it was a smooth start for all that he wanted to say.
Rhiannon paused, eyeing him up and down skeptically with a little confusion mixed in. Had Kevin actually just admitted in so many words that he’d been a jerk? It sure sounded like it, and for some reason, Rhiannon was interested in what more the man had to say. She opened the door wider, stepping aside.
“Come in...” her voice trailed off as if she weren’t sure if she was making a huge mistake or not. He was already walking into her and Savannah’s home though, so she figured that there was only one true way to find out. So after closing the door, she followed Kevin to the living room, where he’d already taken a seat. She found his ‘take charge’ attitude slightly annoying yet impressive. Taking a seat on the same couch opposite end as him, she stared at him for a moment, seeing he was uncomfortable before asking, “So, what brings you here this afternoon if it isn’t to torture me some more with your sour ways?”
“Um...well...” Kevin paused, not knowing quite how to word what he was wanting to say, “I read your letters...”
“Ah, here we go.” Rhiannon quipped, interrupting him, “So, you going to use them for publicity...want me to rewrite it to kiss up even more and lie even stronger. What is it you want, because you don’t have to suck up to get it...”
“No, no, nothing like that,” Kevin cut her off, making the young girl draw back in surprise, “In fact....I’m not going to submit them at all. Your second letter...did something to me.” Kevin admitted, “It made me see that the real Kevin wasn’t being shown at all. He had been put on temporary hold...misplaced, so to speak.” he looked in to her eyes before looking back down, realizing for the first time that this girl really was attractive. She was beautiful in her own delicate way. It was hard to describe...but he was seeing now what he had refused to see through his own stubborn blindness before, “What you saw for the past three months...I’m really not like that...I promise. Some other force took over my body, but your letters made that monster leave...they gave me my heart and sensitivity...rationality back.”
Rhiannon just stared at him, unsure of what to say. He had left her speechless because this was the last thing she expected. She’d been preparing for another lecture...another blow-up, another time of him screaming at her as if she was useless and a nuisance. She wondered how he had the nerve to just walk up and act so casual, then again, it was obvious that this was taking a lot of nerve and bravery for him to do this.
“I guess what I am trying to say...” Kevin paused, really looking up and in to her eyes for the first time, “Is...I’m sorry. Especially for how I treated you...I’m sorry for that.”
He had said it...had gotten the words out, and it actually felt good, even if he had come off like a rambling idiot. He saw her smile at him unsurely, wondering if she should trust him or if this was another ploy to get what he wanted for his own selfish reasons. She saw in his eyes that hew as being honest. His facial expression, as handsome as it was, was nervous with sweat of anxiety perspiring across his forehead.
“Just like that,” Rhiannon stated, raising an eyebrow, “You think you can make it all better just like that...”
“I don’t...I um,” Kevin cleared his throat, “I don’t know what else to say, Rhiannon. I’m sorry.”
Rhiannon considered this. He was so cute, and she couldn’t help but put her guard down just a little bit. The visit hadn’t reversed things completely, but he was making headway a little bit at a time.
“Well, that’s a start.” Rhiannon told him, smiling completely, letting him know that she wasn’t going to hold a grudge for long.
