Savannah let out a long, sad sigh as Howie helped her out of her bathtub. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist to keep a firm grip on her while she got up, picking her up completely to carry her in to the bedroom so she could dress. She was used to him seeing her in the nude now, and no longer felt it necessary for her to blush as a result of it. It was natural to her now, and she knew by the way he’d never once tried to take advantage of her that she could trust him completely.
“How’re you feeling today?” Howie asked kindly as he set her down softly on her bed. He could sense a certain distress about her that day, and as a result felt a deep concern lifting within him for her, “Is there something wrong?”
Savannah looked up and her eyes gave it all away. All that had been on her mind ever since her doctor’s appointment was his dark words chilling her right down to the core of her bone. She would never dance again. It was pretty much impossible. She may never even be able to walk again without assistance. No matter what, she’d have a slight limp, and that would be getting out lucky. The words kept echoing throughout her brain, disturbing her and brining her intense sadness that she was trying with all of her might to hide.
Every time these thoughts game up, she remembered why she was in the condition that she was. It was because of five men who were now five of her best friends, and one of which was her boyfriend. She sometimes wondered if she were crazy for breaking her hard shell and letting herself become close with the people who had hurt her. Shouldn’t she be furious that they’d taken away the one gift she had that had made her unique and that she loved more than anything. Sure, she had other talents, but her dancing was what had made her stand out other than her personality. The Boys were kind and sincere though, honestly wanting to help in any way that they could. So despite everything, Savannah simply couldn’t be angry with them, even if in her mind, it still was their fault…
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah lied, refusing to tell even Howie the absolute truth, “I’m just a little tired.” she gave a small smile hoping that she was convincing him.
Howie eyed her suspiciously, not buying it as well as she’d hoped for. He didn’t argue though. Savannah was the type who didn’t want to let people in on her problems, feeling she would be burdening them. When she wanted to talk, she would on her own time. Pushing it would only make her clam up and keep things in even longer, possibly forever. He wanted her to talk to him though. Especially since he couldn’t have her in the special way that he had been dreaming of for so long.
There were a couple of moments of uncomfortable silence as Savannah dressed herself in to the clothes that were in a neat stack next to her. She just kept thinking of everything that was happening lately. What was going to happen to her? She was afraid to know, however wished she could look in to the future so that she could be better prepared for whatever it was. At least then, there would be no more unexpected turns or surprises.
“So, I guess you’ll be leaving on tour now soon, huh?” Savannah finally asked once she had her attire on, smoothing down her shirt. It was the only topic of conversation she could think up at the moment.
“Yeah,” Howie smiled, “We’ve been working hard...I can’t believe we’re about to go back. It’s exciting.”
“Yeah,” Savanna replied, smiling weakly, “It sure is.”
She should have been out there with them dancing. This should have been the most exciting time of her life, taking a step forward in her career. The huge step, able to show off her talents with a reputable group. Now, that wouldn’t happen. Savannah growled inwardly at herself, telling herself to stop this torture. Nothing could take back the past, no matter how much she wished for it. What was done was done.
“I um, I was wanting to ask you about that,” Howie said softly, suddenly turning a little shy on her, “About the tour that is,” he paused as he saw Savannah looking at him expectantly. He paused before taking a deep breath, continuing on, “What do you think about coming on tour with us?”
Savannah froze upon hearing his request. Hadn’t this been what she wanted? Rhiannon had jumped at the chance of going with Kevin, not even thinking about what would happen to her. Savannah knew that she shouldn’t hold that against the excited, love-struck girl though. Kevin was amazing and treated her like gold, Her friend deserved that after her past failure relationship with complete idiots. Savannah wanted to go too, so why wasn’t she more excited or also taking advantage of the invitation?
“I...I don’t know,” Savannah replied, her face scrunched up in to a look of adorable confusion, “I...I don’t know what I think about it.”
Howie could tell that she wanted to, but there was something deeper than what she was saying. There was one little thing holding her back from giving in to what she wanted. He really wanted her to go with them though. He wanted to be able to see the girl every day, knowing that she was alright and able to look at her and take care of her. He didn’t want anything to change. Even though they would be on the road, nothing had to if she would just give in.
“What is it?” he finally asked, “You can tell me.” He sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in to his, hoping the gesture would help her to open up. And God, how he loved the feeling. If only he could intertwine his fingers with her own, holding her hand the way that AJ was able to.
Savannah let out a dramatic sigh. How could she explain her hesitation? There were many reasons, however there was one main thing. One thing that worried her more than anything else. It went without saying that it would hurt her pride, or to term things better, make her feel extremely guilty.
“It’s not that I don’t want to go,” she finally admitted, looking deep in to his gorgeous chocolate eyes, “I do more than anything...” she laughed bitterly, “Trust me, I do. But the fact of the matter is, how will I get around? I can’t walk....I can’t put any pressure on my leg at all still. Who knows when I will.”
“I’ll get you one of those wheelchairs so you can prop your leg up,” Howie eagerly offered, “That way, you’re comfortable and you’re following doctors orders...and you’re there, part of the action...watching and all.” Howie knew he was rambling, but he was desperate to get Savannah there. He knew that it was wrong of him to be so smitten with his best friend in the whole world’s girlfriend. It was very wrong and went against all of the rules of true friendship. Especially when that friend was crazy about the girl. He didn’t care though. He was determined to get the girl to go with them, “Everything will work out great. I can still be your special nurse, you’ll have Rhiannon and...your boyf...AJ...” he finally managed to get out, unable to say the complete word ‘boyfriend’
“That’s a lovely thought,” Savannah smiled in appreciation to his kind offer, “But you’re going to have so much work ahead of you. You’re going to be extremely busy. None of you will have time to even think about me or my needs. Everybody will be so caught up in the excitement of touring again and your own thing...” her voice trailed off as she gave her friend a sad smile, “It just...wouldn’t work out. It would be best for everybody if I stayed here.”
Howie stared at her in bewilderment. She didn’t know where the look was coming from or even why. She’d just proved many valid points. Many points that she knew her friend should take in to consideration. Then there was the big thing. The huge disappointment that she could never let on to Howie about. She was afraid it would hurt him and didn’t want to cause the sensitive man any kind of pain. She couldn’t tell if she’d done that or not anyways though by the look he was still giving her.
“Savvy,” he finally said softly, “I know you think you’d be in the way...so don’t even deny those thoughts running through your head. I want you there and I will have time for you. Everybody will. It will be fine. You’ll have a great time. I promise you that. Please, just agree to go. If nothing else, I want you there.”
Savannah sighed. True, she did feel she’d be in the way. The comment that sunk in the most though was Howie saying, “If nothing else, I want you there.” What if nobody else did want her around? Would she be a nuisance to them? She didn’t know, but looking in to Howie’s eyes again, seeing the pathetic, sweet puppy dog look on his face, she knew what her answer would be.
“Okay,” Savannah agreed, “I’ll go with you guys.”
“Great!” Howie enthused, a wide smile forming on his sweet lips, “You won’t regret this, Savvy! I’ll make sure of it.”
Savannah smiled, although it was forced. True, she was glad to be going with everybody, but it didn’t stop the sadness within her from staying present. Going with them was what she’d wanted to do all along, but the way it was happening wasn’t.
“...And then he led me to his room, which was candle lit with vanilla scent candles and entirely scattered with rose pedals,” Rhiannon gushed, the smile on her face huge, “I mean, pink, red, peach, white, yellow...just, thousands of rose pedals scattered everywhere. The floor, the bed, the dresser, atop the TV, the nights stand. It was the most beautiful thing ever,” she closed her eyes and breathed in a dreamy sigh, letting it out lightly, “And he...he surprised me with this.” she pulled a small pendant out of her shirt, letting it fall over her clothing. It had the daintiest silver chain, so thin the slightest tug would break it. The pendant was a small heart with tiny diamonds outlining the bottom right side. In the center was a diamond in the prettiest shade of blue Rhiannon had ever seen, cut in to the shape of a heart. Savannah had to admit it was gorgeous, “It was the most romantic night ever.”
It was a week later. A week since Rhiannon had been asked to accompany Kevin on the tour and be his ‘good luck charm’ as he’d called it. They’d been pretty much inseparable since then. In fact, they’d been inseparable since they’d started dating, but it had only gotten worse. The night before was the one in which Rhiannon was explaining to Savannah. They hadn’t spent any girl-on-girl time lately at all. In fact, Savannah couldn’t even remember the last time they’d actually spent a day alone together just doing their girl stuff.
“He sounds like a keeper,” Savannah stated half-heartedly, but tried to sound happy, “He definitely turned out to be a great guy.”
“Yes, he did,” Rhiannon replied, “He’s my perfect match.”
Savannah rolled her eyes. How many times had she heard this before? But by looking at her best friends face, she could see that something was different this time. Kevin had gotten to Rhiannon’s heart like no man ever had before in all her life. She found it to be incredibly sweet and was happy for Rhiannon. She knew that this time, she wouldn’t have to warn Rhiannon to protect herself from getting emotionally hurt again. Kevin was there to stay. That much she was sure of.
“So, did you guys...do it?” Savannah asked.
“SAVVY!” Rhiannon squealed, blushing slightly, “Really now.”
"Well, did you?”
“No, not yet...” Rhiannon hesitated, looking to Savannah with a confession to make, “Although, I really think that we’re going to, you know, soon...” her voice trailed off, “I think I’m ready to take things to the next step.”
“Kevin hasn’t been pressuring you, has he?” Savannah asked, becoming protective of her friend suddenly, “He isn’t guilting you in to having these feelings, is he?”
“Oh god no,” Rhiannon stated, “Not at all...he’s never pressured. He’s asked what I thought of the idea...but it never went beyond that. He told me he respected me and that when I’m ready, making the move is up to me.”
Savannah smiled a little, but was slightly jealous. AJ either tried to get beneath her clothing without asking, just assuming. Or worse yet, duck taped himself so he couldn’t, trying to make light of what was a serious matter. She loved AJ with all of her heart, but wished that he could value her wishes as much as Kevin did Rhiannon’s. Then again, Savannah had been fully aware of what AJ was like going in to the relationship. It had been a risk she had been willing to take, so she knew she shouldn’t compare.
“That’s great,” Savannah said meekly, “That’s very noble of him.”
Rhiannon raised an eyebrow at Savannah’s lack of enthusiasm. It was as if for the first time she was noticing the girls somber attitude, too wrapped up in her own love life to observe something wasn’t quite right. She had now though suddenly, a worried frown taking over her big smile and bright eyes.
‘What’s wrong?” she finally asked softly.
Savannah shrugged, “I don’t know,” she forced another smile. She’d been doing that a lot lately, “Howie asked me to go on tour with everyone.”
“What did you say?” Rhiannon asked.
“I told him yes.” Savannah sighed.
Rhiannon looked at her friend in complete confusion now. Her friend’s behavior was completely strange lately. Her usual upbeat, quirky personality had been absent for some time now, and Rhiannon was slightly worried. She hoped that the Savannah she’d been best friends with for nearly half her life came back.
“You don’t sound too happy about that.”
“I am,” Savannah replied a little bit too quickly to come off as convincing, “It’s great...its just...I was hoping that AJ would ask me.” she sighed, forcing a smile to try and play it off as no big deal.
The truth was, the fact that AJ hadn’t asked her first was the main thing bothering her. He was her boyfriend, after all, and Howie had beaten him to the big question. Howie had asked her three days after Kevin asked Rhiannon. She’d gone out with her boyfriend that same exact night. He’d had plenty of time to ask, letting it be known that he wanted her there with him. Was she just some fling to pass time until he was gone again for months on end? Savannah didn’t know. She just felt certain sadness at heart that the person she’d long to ask still hadn’t thought to do so. That hurt more than she’d ever admit.
“Savvy,” Rhiannon sighed, “I’m sorry he didn’t ask you, but you were invited. Shouldn’t that be all that matters?”
Savannah shrugged, “I guess so. I just wonder if his feelings for me have changed...like, he is having second thoughts about me.”
“That man is insane for you,” Rhiannon laughed, hoping she was reassuring her friend. Normally, paranoia was her own best virtue, “He loves you more than you know, girl. Trust me. He’s a man...he probably just didn’t think about it since the tour is still a ways off. He probably figured he’d wait until the last minute, like a typical man.”
“I guess,” Savannah replied, “It doesn’t help though that my best guy friend begged me to go....practically got on his knees crying for me to agree to join everybody, but my own boyfriend hasn’t even mentioned it.”
Rhiannon smiled, sensing that Savannah didn’t want to talk any more about the subject. She kind of didn’t blame her, deciding not to press the issue. Instead, she changed the subject to one of a more positive note, telling her friend all about one of her customers from that morning who’d caused major problems, actually getting a genuine smile out of Savannah.
“I can’t believe the tour is just around the corner...” Howie stated, “All we have left are recitals and some management meetings and business and then we’re off on the road again.”
Kevin smiled, unable to believe it as well as he and Howie sat in Howie’s home, just talking about the upcoming events. He would have liked for the others to be there, but Brian and Nick were off at a basketball game and AJ was on a date with Savannah. Rhiannon was working, so he couldn’t exactly see her at the moment. None the less though, it was all unreal. Sure, the recent events had set them back slightly, but not significant enough as to put a damper on their original plans. It just meant they had to work a few extra hours each day to catch up. None of them had any problems with it.
“I have a feeling that this will be the best tour yet,” Kevin stated simply, attempting with all his might to wipe the grin off of his face.
“Yeah, cuz you have your little woman going with you,” Howie replied, seeing right past the sorry effort, “How can anything go wrong when for the first time in years, you have a woman that drives you crazy?”
Kevin didn’t know how to reply. The meeting up wasn’t going nearly how he’d originally envisioned. In fact, his original plan had been to not talk about the girls at all. Just strictly talk business and then catch up on everything in everybody’s lives that had been missed. Here it was though, only twenty minutes later, and Rhiannon was the topic of conversation, or rather his relationship with her.
“Well, you have Savannah there.” Kevin reminded him, a knowing smirk on his tanned face.
Of all people, Kevin and Rhiannon were the only two who really knew how Howie felt about the other girl. The others had small intuitions, but didn’t think enough about it or read in to it enough to see the true deep meaning. Kevin took the time to look for it though and Howie had told Rhiannon flat out his feelings. None of it had done any good though. He still didn’t have the nerve to confront the woman with how he felt. It was mostly because she was happily content with how things were and he didn’t want to mess with fate or how God had decided to make things happen. He and Savannah just weren’t in the cards obviously.
“True, but not in the way I want,” Howie admitted, “I asked her so I could be with her still, and nothing would change...but I want things to change. I want her as my girlfriend. I could treat her so much better than AJ.”
Howie felt guilty saying this about his best friend, but it was true. He could give her all that AJ was plus so much more. He could adore her, respect her, give her piece of mind that he could be trusted. He could give her everything in the world, and if given the chance, he would. He honest to God would go to the moon and back for her if she asked that of him.
“I have no doubt in my mind that you could,” Kevin sighed, “I know that you could treat her better...you just have to wait for her to realize that on her own though.”
“But I don’t want her to get hurt,” Howie said pitifully, “I want to protect her from getting hurt. Especially since I know it is going to happen at some point.”
Kevin didn’t know what to say. Savannah was a big girl and would have to learn herself. He hated to be like that, but it was true. He could see the sparkle in Savannah’s eyes around AJ and when his name was mentioned.
He had no doubt in his mind that their relationship to this point was pure and great. AJ could only stay patient for so long though. He knew that the mans intentions were good, however he’d known him for twelve years. He knew what he was like and what he could do and couldn’t do.
“Rhiannon is one lucky girl though,” Howie said, “You take care of her, are constantly romancing her. Show her affection left and right...so much that it is nauseating sometimes. You’re patient with her. You have the perfect relationship. You’re a poster couple for what relationships should be like.”
“I do all of it for her because I want to. She's everything to me. I love her, D...plain and simple,” Kevin replied with a grin, “You of all people should understand that feeling.”
Unfortunately, Howie did.
