Rhiannon sighed in content happiness as she leaned in to Kevin, shivers going up her spine as his arms enveloped her. It was easy for her to say that it was getting harder and harder for her to not to tell Kevin she was ready for and give in to taking more intimate steps in their relationship. If Rhiannon really admitted the truth to herself though, she knew that she wasn’t ready quite yet, knowing that if she did give in so soon, she’d end up regretting it later on. By the feeling that was in her though, she knew that the right time was nearing quickly.
"You’re so wonderful to me," Rhiannon softly told him, repositioning herself so she could look in to his eyes. The green eyes that made her knees grow weak every time she saw them, "I don’t know what I did to ever deserve a guy like you."
Kevin chuckled, kissing her softly on the lips. He didn’t understand Rhiannon’s insecurities. She was always down on herself, feeling as if she was inadequate. She was always feeling that he was way too good for her. Whenever he gave her a compliment, she got all awkward, telling Kevin that she didn’t believe him. He thought that she was radiant though. She was gorgeous and perfect, making is life happier than he’d ever known it possible to be.
"I love you, that’s why." Kevin told her, his heart hammering in his chest as he told her this out loud for the first time. He wondered how she would react to it, but it was out in the open now.
"Wha..what did you say?" Rhiannon asked softly, pulling away to get a full profile view of her boyfriend. She had a somewhat startled look in her eyes, telling him that his confession had definitely been unexpected.
Kevin took in a deep breath, wondering what the meaning behind the reaction he got was. It wasn’t exactly what he would call positive. He was letting his deepest, strongest feelings out and Rhiannon was just staring at him blankly like a deer caught in the headlights.
"I um...ah, I said that…I love you, Rhiannon." Kevin repeated more nervously this time. He stared deep in to her brown eyes, hoping to get a response...any kind of response as opposed to the blank stare he was receiving at that very moment. He was beginning to feel sick, wondering if he shouldn’t have expressed his feelings quite so soon.
Rhiannon just stared for another moment, many thoughts running through her head. Had she heard him right? She didn’t want to risk making an idiot out of herself telling him she loved him too, if he’d said something entirely different. That would be humiliating. But by the hurt look in Kevin’s emerald eyes, Rhiannon had a feeling that he really had confessed those three romantic words, and she was ruining things.
"I...I love you too, Kevin," she finally said, and giggled when his eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights, "I’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile...but...I was afraid of how you would react..." her voice trailed off.
Kevin chuckled, "I know the feeling..." he smiled at her warmly, "You are without a doubt the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, darlin."
"Likewise," Rhiannon said softly.
Without warning, a sharp pain suddenly shot through her head as soon as she said this, radiating around it in a circle. She whipped her head around quickly so Kevin wouldn’t see the fierce wince that set upon her face. He caught the pained expression though, gently taking her and turning her around again to look her in the eyes. A couple of tears had formed and he wondered if he had said something wrong. It didn’t make sense after they’d just shared somewhat of an intimate moment.
“Rhi, honey, are you okay?" he asked her, looking her in the eyes to try and read her expression.
Rhiannon started to nod, but then the pain shot through again, only more intense this time. Her breath caught in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to make the pain go away. Nothing was working though as she let out a soft yet agonized moan. The headaches had been happening for around a week now, bad enough to make her wish she could die whenever they surfaced. Thankfully though, they hadn’t come around when she was with Kevin...until that moment.
"What is it?" Kevin asked, truly concerned over what was happening to his girlfriend, "Please, tell me?"
"Just a headache," she managed to wheeze out, opening her eyes once the shooting pain passed. All that was left was a throbbing ache, "I...it...it happens from time to time." Kevin looked her, the worried expression still not leaving as he ran his fingers through her dark curls, "I was told this would happen...because of the brain damage from the accident...it is one of the side effects. Just took a few months to catch up...but..." her voice trailed off, almost afraid to tell him that another side effect would be mood changes, which would probably start up soon. She didn’t want to lose him because he thought she was unstable, "I’m fine..." she gave him a small smile, knowing she wasn’t quite convincing him.
Kevin’s eyes still held anxiety as he drew her in to his arms, bringing her in close as he placed a delicate kiss on her forehead, leaving his lips there as he had flashbacks to many months before. They’re bitches who expect the world to end just because they got a couple of boo-boos. Cry me a river." Kevin closed his eyes, tightening his grip on this girl who meant so much to him, trying to block out his own tears, hating to see and know that she was in so much pain and had been before, and he’d shrugged it off. And now we have to pay because for it or else they’ll go crying to the press that the Backstreet Boys gave them headache and a broken leg. A few more tears formed as Kevin recalled his visit to Howie that day and the harsh, cold words he had spat out. How could he have been so heartless? How could he have honestly thought that Rhiannon’s only injury was a small headache? He could see now that it was so much more than that. So, so much more. It killed him to remember how much he’d tried to despise her and found it ironic that he’d fallen in love with her after everything he’d done in the beginning months.
"I am so sorry, Rhi," he whispered, his voice quavering, "I never in a million years meant to hurt you," he stated, knowing in the beginning, he had, "I’m sorry for everything. What we did to you...I just feel so guilty. I’m so sorry."
Rhiannon pulled away, seeing the tears in his eyes, smiling softly as him as she brought her thumb up, brushing them away. This was the Kevin she’d believed he was all along. Just so caring and sensitive and sentimental. This was the Kevin that Rhiannon had seen in the interviews on TV and read about in magazines.
"It’s okay..." she told him, wondering inwardly how many countless nights he’d sat torturing himself on the inside because of how he’d acted and what had happened, "I’m fine...everything is okay now. No need to feel guilty."
"It’s not okay though. It’s obvious that you’re still hurt. But because of us..." his voice trailed off, "I treated you so poorly...I can’t believe I treated you like worthless shit. I’m just beside myself over it."
He thought to the time when Rhiannon had thanked him for saving her live, and all he’d had to say was that he’d had no other choice or else his reputation would have been ruined. She’d tried so hard to get him to open up and had been kind to him through it all, with various words of sarcasm. He’d pretty much told her though that he didn’t care about her at all and if he hadn’t had his career at stake, he would have let her drown. Kevin winced again, wondering how he could even begin to have put his career in front of this precious girl’s life.
"Kevin, baby, please don’t beat yourself up over this..." Rhiannon stated, the pounding in her head going away slowly. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips, "Please don’t...I’m okay now."
Kevin offered a slight smile, admiring her trying to be so strong and assuring him that it wasn’t his fault, "How can you be so good about this?" he asked, "You’re so forgiving and kind. How could you even want to speak to me? How could you not hold a grudge the size of the Atlantic Ocean? What made you decide to give me a chance?"
Rhiannon shrugged, laughing, "You proved that you were ready to be your true self, so I decided to give you a chance. I felt you deserved a second chance." she told him, "And I’m glad that I did give it to you. How could I even begin to hold a grudge against you when you’ve been trying so hard? You have been the most amazing boyfriend that anybody could ever ask for. You are the most incredible person that I’ve ever met."
Kevin just looked in to Rhiannon’s eyes for a long moment, taking her all in. He could read in her eyes that everything she’d just said had come straight from the heart. She hadn’t sugar coated anything. She had honest to god meant every single word she had said. There were no grudges being held anymore.
"Well, thank you," Kevin finally said, speechless as to what to say. There really was nothing he could say to express his gratitude towards this woman whom he’d grown to love so much over the months, "And to show you how much I appreciate you, I’m taking you out to a nice dinner tonight."
"You don’t have to do that," Rhiannon told him, "It’s unnecessary. You’ve already done so much for me."
"But I want to, so go get changed and we’ll be off." Kevin insisted with a laugh, kissing her again. By looking at her face, he could tell that she felt bad, or like he felt he owed it to her, "Please, darlin?"
Rhiannon sighed, smiling slowly, "Okay..." her voice trailed off, "Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be right down."
She laughed when Kevin’s face lit up, wondering why this was so important to him. Or maybe this was just how their relationship was going to be. He would constantly pamper and spoil her. God, how she hoped it lasted. She felt in her heart that they were perfect for one another. They had like personalities, and he understood her. He took the time to get to know her and understand her, flaws and all and accepted them. Rhiannon didn’t know what, but she knew she’d be figuring out something special to do for him in return for everything. Something very, very special that would show him just how much he meant to her.
Getting up, Rhiannon raced up the stairs, suddenly in a huge hurry to get changed and go out with Kevin. Any moment spent with him, she treasured and didn’t want to keep him waiting long.
Shaking his head as she ran, Kevin laughed in amusement. She sure was something else, but it was her sweetness with a certain energy that magnetized him to her. She brought out the absolute best in him, and for that he was thankful. For the first time since his divorce, he was happy. True, the end of his marriage had been rocky and he’d known that there was somebody better out there for him, but he didn’t know if he would ever find her. He’d spent his days in darkened sadness, feeling lonely. Then when he’d least expected it, and with the one person he expected least to fall for, something had happened. He was happier than he’d been in many, many years.
While he waited, Kevin picked up a small photo album off of the table next to him, casually flipping through it to pass time. He smiled, stopping on one of Rhiannon in the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her. She appeared to be singing in to her hair dryer. It was obvious that she hadn’t known that the picture was being taken, but those were sometimes the best ones. Caught off guard and looking cute.
Continuing to flip through, he noticed that each photo held some sort of special memory or comical moment. Some were of just Savannah, others of just Rhiannon. Then there were the majority of them where the two best friends were together, growing up throughout the years. It was easy to see just how close that they really were. They’d been best friends for ten years...almost as long as the Boys had been a group.
Kevin didn’t realize how much time had passed until he closed the album and caught a glimpse at the clock radiating off of the cable box. Rhiannon had been gone for half hour already. Listening carefully into the quietness of the condo, he didn’t hear a thing. All was completely silence. Worry started to grow in the pit of his stomach, wondering if something had happened to her. Had her headaches returned, causing her to pass out from the intensity of the pain? Had something else happened?
At the thought of his Rhiannon being hurt, it took no time for Kevin to get up from his position on the couch, quickly making his way up the stairs. His heart pounded in his chest, unable to find his voice to call out her name. He still heard no noise coming from anywhere, truly terrified that something really had happened to her. He searched every room frantically, flinging himself in to each one, looking behind each doorway, in to each possible small crack she could have collapsed in to, not even stopping to think that some of them were possibly ridiculous. He didn’t care though. He knew he had to find her.
Then he came to one last door. The only room he hadn’t ventured in to. The door was closed to all but a crack, and Kevin knew that she had to be in there. He was terrified at what he would find, slowly bringing his hand to the door and pushing it open. His heart felt as if it was going to pound its way out of his chest and his throat was clogged with worry, his mouth dry and feeling and thick, still unable to speak, calling out for her as he stepped in to the eerily silent room. He gulped, still not seeing any sign that she’d been present except for a light shining dimly out of the bathroom. There was still no noise though, which only drove him to go closer and closer until he was standing right in front of the bathroom doorway, forcing himself too look inside, preparing himself for the worst.
What he saw wasn’t what he expected at all. Rhiannon stood, appearing to be perfectly fine. She just stared at her reflection in the mirror though, wearing a knee length light pink skirt and a matching bra. She had on no shirt yet, and he was mesmerized by the beauty of her body and her slender curves and perfect proportions of her body. She was gorgeous and he couldn’t help but stare, just taking her all in. But what was she looking at, seeming to be in a daze? There was absolutely nothing wrong with her.
That’s when he saw it though, causing him to flinch slightly. Seeing it in the reflection of the mirror, he saw her shoulder and upper arm. It was an angry, fleshy red, severely blistered and obviously burnt badly. The skin was peeling in places and he knew by looking at it that there would be severe scarring even after it was healed. He wondered what it had come from, and he could tell that she was self conscious of it and felt ugly. Although the burn was definitely an eye sore, he wouldn’t even think that it was ugly.
"What happened to your arm, honey?" he asked aloud without thinking, his voice coming out calmly and sweetly, full of concern.
Rhiannon whipped around, and when she saw him, she searched for the closest thing she could find to cover her up, feeling paranoid and panicked. She found nothing though, feeling exposed and humiliated and completely disgusting. She wondered how long it would be before Kevin ran, finding her repulsive. There had been a reason why she’d constantly hid herself from him, never getting in to a swim suit around him. She didn’t want him to see a part of her that not even she herself could stand to look at. She looked down, ashamed, unable to look in to his eyes, seeing the expression telling her that he wanted a way out right then, but didn’t want to be impolite or rude.
"I...um...I don’t know where it came from," she murmured, lifting her gaze only slightly, but not enough to see his face.
Kevin was silent and she wondered what he was thinking. What was running through his mid at that moment while she stood there frozen in to place, unable to move to cover herself. Was he thinking up desperate excuses to just get out as quickly as he could? If she moved, his eyes were sure to follow, but only because it was just disgusting enough to not be able to tear ones eyes away from.
"It’s from the accident, isn’t it?" Kevin finally asked softly, slowly making his way towards her, but stopped a few feet short when he saw how withdrawn she’d become, afraid of making any wrong move or causing her discomfort.
Rhiannon didn’t reply at first, turning her head to look at the scarring, red shoulder. She then turned her head away, looking up at Kevin nodding slowly after a slight hesitation. A few tears formed in her eyes at the reminder of it all, and before she knew it, she was enveloped into the loving arms of her boyfriend.
"Yes....it’s from the accident..." her voice trailed off as she took in a deep breath to steady her voice, "But I don’t know what the burn is...from...maybe the motor or engine or..."
She looked in to Kevin’s eyes for the first time and saw nothing but caring and sympathy. He just held her, rocking her back and forth slowly in attempt to calm her trembling body. He said nothing for a long moment. He just let her cry on his shoulder, or rather in to his chest due to her short stature, kissing her over and over on the top of the head, burying his face into her hair.
"I’m so sorry," he said, finding out something new about her that night. Even though Kevin knew it wasn’t his fault, he had in a way contributed to it...all of it, "Does...does it hurt?"
Rhiannon hesitated before nodding slowly, "Yeah...hurts like hell. I’m on a strong pain killer to keep the burning feeling down."
Kevin leaned down and tenderly placed a soft kiss upon her shoulder, rubbing it gently. Rhiannon pulled back at first, tensing, but realized that the sensation of his gentle touch was actually helping it to feel just a little bit better. As he continued to softly massage her shoulder with the lightest touch, Rhiannon caught him staring down at her, his eyes every now and then shifting to the huge burn.
"I look hideous." Rhiannon sniffled, "You must want to throw up looking at me."
Kevin shook his head, giving her a small smile as he took his hand away from her shoulder and traced his thumb along her jaw line, just staring to her eyes with so much love to show in them, "I think you look absolutely gorgeous, Rhi. I think every single part of you is absolutely gorgeous."
Howie scowled as he sat down forcefully. This was all just becoming too much for him and he didn’t know how much more he could take or keep his feelings buried inside of him away from Savannah and AJ. As it was, he had the feeling that AJ was beginning to suspect something, but AJ couldn’t outright accuse his best friend of anything unless he saw some sort of affair going on between himself and the radiant Savannah. By the way AJ watched him though, Howie knew that he wasn’t trusted. It was as if the thought of the two being together drove him insane, even though he and Savannah were at this point just best friends.
Savannah Grace...the name was like music to his ears. It was like whenever he heard her name, everything became a little bit brighter. The skies lightened, even in the middle of a storm. The room lit up. His life lit up. Every time he saw her, it was like everything was going to be okay in his life just by her being a part of it. If only she saw him in the same light before he made a complete fool of himself in front of her. Which was why he needed somebody else’s insight on the situation. Somebody’s advice who was wise and would listen. Somebody who wouldn’t take sides, but would give their honest opinion. Somebody he could actually converse with and be taken seriously.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Brian asked Howie, sitting down across from the agitated Latino, "You seem pretty perturbed."
Howie huffed, "Perturbed, irritated, angry, hurt..." his voice trailed off, looking up at Brian who sat looking amused yet patiently waiting for his friend to go on, "I need your advice on a problem I’m having. Maybe you can help, maybe you can’t..."
"Sounds like you just need to vent more than anything else," Brian chuckled, but it died down when he saw the less than pleased glare Howie was shooting him, "Okay, okay...so I’ll stop with the smart ass comments."
"Would be appreciated," Howie countered, "Beings that’s the reason Nick wasn’t an option to talk to. He can’t take anything seriously."
And didn’t Brian know how true that was. No matter what, Nick found a way to turn anything in to something stupid or silly. During interviews, he said the most off the wall things at the most inappropriate times or just randomly said something that made no sense when somebody else was already talking. Even during shows, his attention span caused him to do crazy things that caused the whole audience as well as the Boys to just shake their head in amusement, trying their hardest, and not quite succeeding, not to laugh.
"Sorry," Brian stated, "So...what’s this that’s on your mind?" his Southern accent was thick as he said this.
"I’m sick to death of AJ..." Howie started, knowing he sounded rather harsh, "I wish he would screw up with Savvy to the point that they are over...for good."
Brian looked at the man who was usually the equalizer, the peace maker of the group, in astonishment. Here Howie was, hostile and actually wanting a good relationship to end. Brian wondered if his friend would go as far as to want AJ dead, but decided it would be better for him not to ask, for the answer may not exactly be what he’d want to hear. So instead, he just waited for more to come before speaking his input.
"He keeps messing up and hurting her as it is..." Howie’s voice trailed off, "He...you should see the look on her face every time he leaves her behind to go out and party, or go do something else. She looks so pathetically sad and left out. He didn’t even invite her on tour for Gods sake...until after I did. It’s like, because she has a broken leg, she is a burden to his good time and party life. She isn’t even a party girl. She’s a sweet, kind-hearted, gentle woman. I could treat her so much better...I love her," he stopped to take in a deep breath, "She keeps forgiving him for everything...he tried to practically rape her and she still took him back after not even that long, forgetting everything."
"I think you’re over exaggerating now, D." Brian stated, and when Howie gave him a strange look, he added, "About J practically raping her. If he did, you would have murdered him by now...as protective as you are over Savannah."
"Well, maybe...but that isn’t the point!" Howie stated in exasperation, "He wouldn’t let up...and...will she put up with absolutely anything from him?! I just...nothing he does phases her."
"We all knew you liked her from the beginning..." Brian brought up, "Everyone could see it and you denied it and even told AJ it was fine for him to go for her when he asked your permission. You wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d been up front and honest from the very beginning."
Howie sighed miserably. He knew that Brian was right. He had lied to everybody because he hadn’t wanted to get in the middle of falling for the girl. He couldn’t even remember the reasons why now, but it all seemed so stupid. If only he’d been up front about everything from day one. He had, after all, been the one to jump in to the icy water and save her. Shouldn’t that count for anything at all?
"I know," he finally said aloud, "But like the other day, she was so depressed about AJ leaving her to go to a dance club, of all places, so we hung out and I could tell that her mind was off of him and she was genuinely having a good time...and we were hanging out, laughing and then he shows up out of nowhere, proclaiming his love to her and asking her on tour. I think that Rhiannon went and flipped out on him, telling him he’d better straighten up. You should have seen Sav’s eyes though...they just lit up when he said all of this...it was sickening..." he paused before saying, "I told her I loved her too...but she doesn’t even know that I said it from the heart and not just as a best friend kind of thing."
There were a few moments of silence and Howie wondered if he was being stupid even asking Brian to meet him to ask for advice. Maybe he was over-reacting to a situation that just couldn’t be changed, no matter how hard he wished for it to. His wishes were evil and not very well intentioned, however at this moment, he didn’t care, for he was stuck in a love triangle that he wanted to push his best friend out of.
"Savannah is a sweet girl," Brian finally said, "If I were you, I’d keep doing what you’re doing. Aje may be one of my best friends, just like the rest of you, but...she I know what he looks for and she isn’t his type. I think he’s more in to her for her looks than anything else. .He may be telling himself there is more there than physical attraction, but I honestly think if he looked deep in to his true feelings, he’d see that there really isn’t. He’ll mess up at some point again, only she won’t be there when he tries to fix it.."
Howie shrugged. He didn’t know what to think anymore, and part of him didn’t even believe that Savannah would him even if he cheated on her and she caught him red handed. AJ’s smooth charm obviously had a strong grasp on the girl. He wanted the chance to prove that he could be so much more and give her so much more than AJ ever could. He’d even told her all that he would do for her in attempt to persuade her to lean more in to his direction. What he’d already done was just a preview of what dating him would be like. Howie knew he was stooping to desperate levels of bribery, but wanted to prevent Savannah from being hurt if at all possible before it happened.
"I know...." Howie said, his voice trailing off slightly, knowing that they really weren’t right for each other, "I just wish I knew when and what it was going to be so I could be there for her..."
AJ watched Savannah glow from across the small table. She’d been smiling, radiating beautifully since a couple days before, when he’d asked her on tour with him. He’d never known that a simple question could mean so much to somebody, and chance their entire attitude. He was so glad that he’d asked though, taking Rhiannon’s advice seriously. He was going to do this. He was going to give up partying and going out clubbing so that he could focus all of his attention on Savannah and making their relationship work out. He was going to be patient and kind, taking things at Savannah’s level. He’d come to find that it was something he needed to and even wanted to do just to make things work.
"What?" Savannah questioned, scrunching up her nose when she caught the way AJ was just taking her all in.
"You’re amazing, that’s what," AJ told her seriously, causing Savannah to blush slightly, dipping he head low to hid her reddening face, "Hasn’t anybody ever told you that before, Savvy?"
Savannah raised her head and shrugged before shaking her head slowly, "No...I mean, I’ve had boyfriends before, but nothing this serious. You’re the first I’ve allow to get in...and trust. You know?" she smiled faintly, "I figured that when the perfect guy came, I would know it and let myself fall completely."
And that’s exactly what she’d done. She’d fallen completely for him. He was everything to her, which was why she’d kept giving him chance after chance after chance. Sure, he’d hurt her, even though she’d never admit that. Savannah figured that it was worth it though, because the times that AJ wasn’t screwing up, he was one of the most perfect guys. She honestly didn’t know if there was anybody better for her out there in the large, wide world. Here AJ was though, perfect as he could be, sitting there acting like the perfect gentleman. Just gazing it to his eyes gave her shivers of excitement radiating up and down her spine, arms, legs and body, a tingling sensation taking over her completely.
"I’m glad that you let me in," AJ told her, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of her eye, "You know I’d never hurt you, right?"
Savannah paused for a second before nodding her head, "I know..." her voice trailed off. Biting her lip nervously, Savannah hoped that he wouldn’t hurt her. He seemed genuine to his words, but anything could happen. Shaking her head, Savannah tried to rid her brain of those negative thoughts. For the past three days, AJ had turned in to the kind of man she wanted. He’d given up his old life, and was really trying. She couldn’t help but think that this AJ was there to stay.
"Oh, I got you something!" AJ suddenly exclaimed, startling Savannah out of her thoughts. Savannah eyed him curiously as he reached down to a backpack he’d been carrying, unzipping it. Seconds later, he pulled out a short, rectangular box that had a small bow on top. He looked in to her eyes as he handed her the box, "This, m’lady, is for you."
Savannah eyed AJ suspiciously as she slowly took the box from him, looking at it for a moment as she turned it around in her hands, feeling that the box was leather. Not imitation leather, but real leather. She looked back up and saw her boyfriends smiling face staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to open the box. She looked down at it for another second before slowly sliding the bow off and opening the box. She gasped at what was inside, gently undoing it from the small clasps in the box. Gently taking it out of the box, Savannah fell in love with the white gold bracelet immediately. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, the chain so dainty and thin. It was perfect, sparkling in the light at all the right angles.
‘What do you think?"
Savannah looked up in to AJ’s eyes, a few tears forming in her own. The gift had been completely unexpected. AJ hadn’t really showered her with gifts. Definitely not how Howie did for her or Kevin did for Rhiannon. AJ had always been simple, so the gift, she knew, came straight from the heart. Savannah never thought that she’d ever get so emotional over something so sentimental, but she was.
"It...it’s the best thing ever to be given to me," she said softly.
AJ smiled warmly at her, "Here, let me help put it on you."
Savannah held the bracelet out to him and he slowly took it from her palm in his fingertips. Savannah held her wrist out an she watched as he wrapped it around from the underside, clasping it in to place firmly. She looked at it, loving how the white gold looked upon her tanned skin, adding some character to her otherwise plain, unjeweled body.
"Thank you," Savannah whispered.
"This is just a small increment of what I’m going to give you, Savvy Grace." AJ assured her, taking both of her hand in to his as he leaned in to seal the well-intentioned promise with a kiss.
