Howie still couldn’t get the girls out of his mind, nor the last comment that Savannah had said to him. The chilling words of “You should have let be drown” echoed throughout his brain constantly, haunting his every waking moment as well as when he slept. Her violent, hurting sobs would ring in his ears throughout the day. The others still didn’t understand why he cared so much and was so affected by this, but the fact of the matter was that he was and he couldn’t change that. He couldn’t change it no matter how hard he might want to. He was cursed by being a sensitive, compassionate person, which had always won him the label of having nothing but good in him.
This was why he was on his way to the hospital to try again with Savannah and hopefully to get the chance to meet Rhiannon. It had been seven days since their first and only visit. He was willing to give things a try again, hoping that Savannah had had a change in heart over the past week. They had, after all, visited barely two days after the accident. All of her pain and anger was still new and fresh and they hadn’t given her a real chance to cool off and think rationally. He figured that the logical reasoning would have taken over her hostility by now, making his visit safe.
“You sure you wanna do this?” AJ asked, distracting Howie from his thoughts, “I mean, the chick did say for us to never come back, ever.” He recalled, quoting Savannah’s harsh words, “Shouldn’t we at least grant her that wish? I mean if she wants to be left alone, we should leave her alone, and get on with our own lives. I don’t understand why you are making so much of this anyways.”
Howie looked over to his own best friend whom he’d conned into going with him that very day. He shrugged and gave a nervous smile, his confidence slowly fading with every step that he took in the direction of where the girls were in the large hospital. He could feel his body trembling beneath his clothing, hoping that he didn’t come off as insecure to the girls.
“I want to visit them. I have a feeling things will be different,” Howie stated with a confidence he really didn’t feel. “Besides, Kevin did want us to visit taking turns to try to save our reputations,” he spat the word out as if it were venom. “Whatever Lord Kevin says, goes,” Howie added, trying to hide the fact that Kevin was not the reason he was going. He was sick of the Boys giving him so much crap over the whole situation. If he just went along with things, for the most part, for a little bit, it would save a lot of breath for him.
AJ snickered. Sure, Kevin was their good friend, but that didn’t change the hierarchy of their group. Since he was, in fact the oldest, they usually did have to listen to him unless they wanted a grudge held against them for days or even weeks at a time.
“I still can’t believe that Nick was such a fucking idiot, driving a boat under the influence. I mean, a car is bad enough…but a boat…” AJ shook his head and rolled his eyes, “If he hadn’t been so stubborn, one of us who was sober would have been driving and none of this would have ever happened. Then again, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.”
Howie raised an eyebrow. He didn’t know how any of this could be taken as a blessing in disguise, but decided not to argue. His views were obviously miles apart in every aspect of the situation.
Turning a corner, Howie and AJ found themselves face to face with a large familiar room, which was labeled ICU in bright red lettering. Howie took a deep breath, pausing at the doorway. Why he’d decided to give this one a shot first, he did not know, but he was there and something was drawing him in to the room with AJ behind him.
“May I help you?” a nurse behind a desk asked almost as soon as they were on the inner side of the double swinging doors. Howie looked right at the woman who looked to be in her mid thirties, black hair swept out of her face being held back with a banana hair clip. She looked to be friendly, assuming she’d almost have to be to be working with Intensive Care patients.
“Um, actually, yes,” Howie spoke up, giving her his smile that melted many hearts into a pool of mush. He hoped that she had the information he wanted and needed, “Is there a Rhiannon Clark here?”
The nurse smiled warmly, letting Howie and A.J. both know that she recognized the name and knew exactly who they were talking about without a second thought. They took this as a good sign.
“Yes, there is. She’s such a sweet girl. She’s got a lot of fight in her,” the nurse told them, “Such a shame what happened to her and her friend.” She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she shook her head sadly.
“But she’s okay?” Howie pressed, hoping that the he’d get the answer that he was hoping to. He couldn’t stand bad news. All of the negativity from his last visit had him worried that this one would bring on the same suddenly.
“Yes and no,” the nurse replied, causing her to get a couple of confused stares.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m really not authorized to share that information with you.”
Howie grunted in annoyance. He personally felt he had every right to know, beings it was partly his fault that she was there in the first place. He was trying to figure out what to say as the nurse studied him and AJ cautiously as if analyzing them. Then the look of recognition came over her widening dark eyes as if she were just putting two and two together.
“It’s you…” she spoke softly, shaking her head again as if trying to keep her views neutral. Nobody said a thing for a long moment, but eventually the nurse spoke again, offering a small smile, “Well, I do give you credit for coming to check up on her, so I guess I can deliver some sort of information.” She paused, “Rhiannon suffered from head trauma, which alone is pretty serious. She’s coming around though. Things were shaky for the first few days, but I think that there’s a good chance she’ll make a near full recovery. There’s still some pressure build up on her brain, but it has been going down slowly. I can see her being released in another two to three weeks.”
Howie listened intently as the nurse explained the young girl’s delicate condition. He was glad to know that she was improving, although the nurse was right. Any type of head trauma would opt for a long mending process. Then Savannah’s words came to mind of her saying that her Ann was moments away from slipping into a permanent coma. He wondered if that were still a possibility, or if the girl was at least out of the woods for that road that life could have chosen for her.
“Can we see her?” AJ found himself asking before Howie had the chance to, not wanting to seem like a tagalong heartless bastard who’d just come along for the ride and fresh air.
“Ummm,” the nurse hesitated as she bit her lip.
“Please?” Howie asked quietly, needing to personally put closure to his worry on the girl who’d been to unstable for him to visit the first time around. It would ease his mind somewhat knowing that she was at least alert.
“I suppose a moment wouldn’t hurt,” she finally agreed, her heart going out to the two men, “But just a quick visit. If she’s asleep, don’t disturb her rest. She needs it. If she’s awake, go ahead and talk gently, but she will be groggy and slightly disoriented… Just a forewarning.”
Howie gulped and nodded as the nurse led the two back to where Rhiannon was. She stepped aside and let the two men take over, telling them she’d be back in ten minutes, which was all the longer they would have with her. At first, the girl appeared to be asleep. Her complexion had a little color back in it, but her cheeks were still a rosy red from the pneumonia. Her once dark, full head of curls were matted down and flattened from lying under the weight of her body. She had various cuts along her face that were able to be seen from close up, but she still was quite pretty despite all the destruction that had been done. Her chest rose and fell in labored breathing under a thick blanket and ever so often she would shudder slightly. Howie stared, unable to think of anything to say. He was face to face with girl number two and suddenly was afraid to be, knowing he’d seen enough and feeling as if he’d made a mistake by visiting the seriously injured female. But before he had the chance to quietly walk away, dragging AJ behind him, the girl spoke without opening her eyes.
“Who’s… there?” she called weakly, calling out a familiar name when she got no answer for a couple of moments, “Savannah?”
Neither boy said anything, freezing in their tracks. Rhiannon, or Ann as Savannah called her, coughed softly, groaning in pain as she did so. The two’s hearts hammered in their chests even harder. A.J. elbowed Howie in the ribs, not knowing what to do or say or how to react in general. Howie just shrugged in response, for neither did he.
Rhiannon slowly opened her eyes to nothing more than a squint, her vision hazy. She could barely make out two blurry figures, but her reaction wasn’t what they expected. She closed her eyes again and moaned quietly as a pounding in her head came on. She scrunched her face up in agony as the two men watched helplessly and clueless as to what to do.
“Oh, just you,” she finally spoke, her voice barely a whisper. Neither said anything, surprised that she’d spoken, and more or less that she somehow knew obviously of what they’d done, “Savannah…told me…” her voice trailed off as if she wanted to say something more but hadn’t the energy to.
“We’re very sorry,” Howie spoke immediately to defend them, “It…things…we…” he sputtered before just finally saying, “We wanted to tell you in person.” No matter what excuse he made, things wouldn’t change.
“I wish you…hadn’t.” she spoke, sadness in her voice. It wasn’t angry like Savannah’s, then again, Rhiannon would probably yell herself into a coma if she got herself worked up, “’Cause…I didn’t…want to believe it. Now I...have to.”
Howie sighed. He never thought a single comment could make him feel so guilty, and neither did A.J. Her softness tore at their hearts like nothing else. But Howie just kept reminding himself that if she was as alert as Savannah, she’d probably be yelling and cursing at them just the same.
“We’re sorry…” AJ said lamely, not able to find any other words within himself. He scanned his brain for something more to say, however nothing came. His mind was blank…completely and utterly blank.
“I’m sorry too,” Rhiannon stated sluggishly, making the two Boys think that she was going to be rational, but the next words out of her mouth stung them like pouring alcohol over an open wound, “Because although my friend and I are… ruined physically, you all will be… ruined mentally. I hope…it eats away at you…forever.”
Howie tried to speak to get in some words, but the girl struggling to stay conscious spoke before he had the chance to.
“Savannah was right…you’re low life,” she stated with tears falling from her eyes, “We did nothing…it should have been you all to get injured…or worse, ‘cause…it was all…your…fault.” Her breathing became far apart and her eyelids stinging although she never once opened them to look at the men she’d used to look up to as role models. She never would again see them in the same good light, “Now leave me the hell alone…before I…press charges.”
The words that Rhiannon spoke made Howie ill, and made him believe that it was true. It should have been them, and now the two weren’t even allowing them the honor of their forgiveness. Not that he blamed them. He started to say something else to her, but found it useless, for she’d tilted her head away from them to let them know that they were no longer welcome.
“C’mon, D…let’s get out of here.” AJ stated, tugging at Howie’s arm.
Howie took one last look at Rhiannon before willingly following AJ’s lead just as the nurse from the front came by to escort them out herself. Whether it was because of Rhiannon or the 10 minutes they’d been restricted to, either way their time was up. The girl in the room was nothing like the bright, sunny, honey-sweet girl he’d read about in the magazine. Howie hoped that their next stop went smoother, but had a feeling it wouldn’t. He knew he couldn’t leave without trying though, so off they went to destination two for the afternoon. Howie was crossing his fingers that he didn’t get a bedpan thrown at his head this time.
A week passed without any more bitterly sour visits from the spineless bastards Savannah and Rhiannon had used to admire. Savannah was glad for this, because if she ever saw them again, she wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t attempt to leap from the bed and strangle them. She needed to keep herself calm though, for her surgery was scheduled for the following day to reconstruct her leg, or rather the first of a series of surgeries to reconstruct it. After the surgeries would more than likely come physical therapy for her poor, damaged leg. But as she already knew, none of that would make her become what she once was again.
She’d been able to speak to Rhiannon for a split second just the day before. Their conversation had been kept minimal because she was just beginning to make headway in her recovery. She sighed, wondering what her best friend was up to…if she was awake, or still in a deep sleep.
Their conversation had been basically over phones, as neither one of them could be moved to the others location for a real visit. Savannah had cried tears of joy when she’d heard her friend’s voice. She’d been worried that she never would again. As small as it had been, it was there and that was enough for her under the circumstances.
Rhiannon still had no recollection of what had happened and was confused about where she was, so Savannah had filled her in the best she could. Rhiannon had been frightened and on the verge of distraught, but she’d been able to soothe her friends worries. She’d even told her about the Backstreet Boys being at fault, which Rhiannon’s reaction was just as expected. Furious. She too, no longer claimed herself to be a fan of the Boys.
They nauseated her just by thinking of them, as she’d told Savannah, and couldn’t believe she once thought them to be worth and down to earth.
Savannah sighed. She was still in a significant amount of pain, but was growing used to it by the hour. She was beginning to wonder if she’d ever know what life without it would be like again. It wasn’t seeming likely. She knew that the surgery would cause her leg more pain, and she’d probably be given a nice dose of Oxycontin as a pain killer as well as Perkasets.
“Stupid Jock-straps,” she muttered under her breath in reference to the men. As much as she tried to forget them and what happened, it just caused her to think of it more. The only time she hadn’t thought of it had been when her Momma had called her, saying she’d be in with her step dad in a few days. She couldn’t wait to see her parents and hoped that there wouldn’t be any unpleasant interruptions while they were there.
Upon thinking of the men that left a pungent taste in her mouth, two of them appeared in her doorway slowly. She rolled her eyes she scrunched up her nose in utter disgust. They obviously hadn’t gotten the hint the first time around. It was just like a man to not know how to listen.
“Hi,” Howie stated nervously as he welcomed himself in, A.J. following him.
“Where’s the Ringleader of the Ass Squad?” Savannah quipped sarcastically, “Or is he currently stuck so far up his own, he couldn’t make it to torture me along with you?”
Howie tried to suppress a laugh he could feel coming at the mention of Kevin being called the Ringleader, but it died when he saw the harsh glare that he was being shot. If looks could kill, he’d be chopped up and given as puppy chow by then.
“The others are um, at their homes…beings we do all have homes in Florida.” AJ shot back.
“That’s where you should be too,” Savannah told them, out of my sight, out of my mind. They were smart not to show. You two are obviously the dumber ones…well, other than Nick.”
Howie shook his head and looked to AJ for help. AJ backed away though, not wanting to be a part of the whole thing. It was Howie’s idea to come, so he was leaving the small Latino to fend for himself on this one.
“We wanted to see how you’re doing,” Howie explained, “To make sure you’re okay and all.”
“What do you think?” Savannah asked, “Do I look any better?” She didn’t give either the chance to reply, “I’m the same, although thank God my surgery is tomorrow so I can start healing properly. I’d advise you to stay away though…or else I won’t mend as quickly as I should because I’ll be stressing too much.”
“Um…good luck with the surgery,” Howie stated lamely, his eyes darting around the room for he was so jittery with nerves he couldn’t focus.
“Psh,” Savannah snorted, “I’ll need all the luck I can get. Pray for me to get better, and I’ll pray for you to not come back…then maybe yours will come true. You may let yourselves out now. I’d personally kick you out…literally, but I can’t.”
“Real sweet,” AJ muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Just a forewarning,” Savannah seethed, “You’d better stay away from Ann…or else I’ll make sure you pay. She doesn’t need your faces in her line of vision right now…or ever. Just like I don’t. Now leave…” her voice trailed off, not really giving them much choice to argue, just as Rhiannon had done not even half hour earlier.
AJ was the first out the door, flying out in a stormy heat of anger. Howie left slowly behind him, his shoulders slumped, realizing that Savannah was in a stubborn mood and still extremely angry with him and the others. He decided it was best if he went without saying he’d already paid Rhiannon a visit, and her reaction had been nearly the same as Savannah’s. It would only add to the problems, which he knew weren't near over yet.
