A/N- hey guys, here's the second chappie of my newest fic. Thank you Ana for reviewing, seriously appreciate it girl. I knew I liked you for a reason, hehe. Anyways, I hope all you guys like it. Let me know what you think, like it, love, or hate it, just let me know. Please, save my sanity, what little there is left. *Grins* Anywho, until the next chapter, later!
"Lost Souls"
~**Chapter 2: Nickolas Carter, Unloved Soul
Nick packed his many art supplies into his forest green suitcase carefully. Drawing and Painting were the some of the few things that he truly loved to do, and that made him happy. He fingered the long silver chain that hung about his neck uncertainly, examining the silver charm upon it. It was a dolphin that had a few shark-like qualities and an emerald in the center. His grandparents had given it to him for his tenth birthday. He ran his hand across his blonde spikes dejectedly; at least his grandparents loved him. Sadly, he only saw them twice a year, on his birthday, and on Christmas. His parents were a different story. Nick couldn't remember a time when his parents ever showed him love or affection. Only when they had guests around and then it was just for show. He had made many accomplishments in choir, art, and acting, but they always dismissed them. His father constantly emphasized the fact that he should go into law and join the family law firm because he didn't have a future in the arts. He didn't think so either, he knew they probably felt sorry for him at the school so they gave him the win, but still kept at it because they were the only pleasures left in his life.
Why did his parents still send them there then? Because it made them look good for letting their son pursue his dream, despite the fact that they really weren't. He tucked the necklace under his shirt. He always wore it; however he couldn't let his parents see it. If they did, it would be taken away and he'd be punished. Nick shuddered, for whenever he was a "bad boy" his mother and father would shove him in the closet or attic, despite the fact he was extremely claustrophobic. At one point, he entered a painting of his into the school art contest against his parent's will. He won first place, and had gone to the show to accept the award. When he got back he was shut up in the attic with no food for three days straight. He was only eleven at the time, and from then on, he knew he was only a thing to carry on the Carter name to them. Not a son that his parents loved. He wished with all his being that he could have grown up with someone who loved him, or that he wasn't an only child. He thought that maybe then they would accept him for who he is, or at least he wouldn't have felt so lonely.
'No, I'm a mistake.' He remembered. 'That's why they hate me. I fail 24/7, and don't succeed much. I don't even deserve to live. So why would anyone wanna love me?' he began to think of school, and the fact that he didn't have any friends. That was proof enough for him.
He heard someone's footsteps come up the stairs. Nick groaned, knowing it had to be his very controlling mother. He trembled, hoping he didn't do anything that would make her punish him again. She came into the room, and he stood, towering over her. His ocean blue eyes mirroring the fear and loathing that consumed his entire soul. He put his shaky hands behind his back, trying not to show his fright.
"Hi mom."
"Hello Nickolas." She answered coldly.
"Um, I'm almost done packing, so I'll be leaving soon."
His mother went over to one of his three bags that lay upon his bed, beginning to ruffle through the clothes. She put them back carefully and did the same to the other two. He knew why she was doing this and smirked superiorly, she wouldn't find the sleeping pills. He had tried twice before to escape by overdosing on them but failed. He laughed inwardly; he wasn't even planning on packing them until he was in the car where they lay inside the glove compartment. He truly thought he needed them as back up if he couldn't deal. Mrs. Carter stopped and zipped up the4 bags, satisfied that they weren't in there, when she caught sight of the many art supplies he had just put in the bag.
"Nickolas…"
"Yes?"
"Why did you pack these?" she asked annoyed as she held up a paintbrush.
"Because."
"Because why? Why chase after a dream? Something you're not even good at? You're not talented honey. Reality Check- The only reason they accept you as a student each year is because of the fact that you are a Carter, and we give the school so much money each year. You'd be better off at the Carter Law Firm, like your father." She told him, sneering haughtily at her son.
Nick looked to the floor, believing her, his eyes downcast. A surge of energy ran through him just then, his head shooting up. He gazed at her angrily, beyond doubt wanting to rebel.
"Well, t-th-the-then why do you do it huh? I mean, let me go. Donate money. I-it doesn't make sense i-i-if it's such a waste."
She looked at him surprised. He mouth agape without any kind of answer. She glanced at her son, her brown orbs flashing with fury.
"Are you talking back to me young man?" she snapped.
Nick took a step back, scared of the consequences of his actions. 'Boy, I'm gonna get it now. I'm such an idiot! When will I ever learn?' he realized.
"I-I-I…"
"ANSWER ME YOU SELFISH BRAT!! NICKOLAS GENE CARTER, I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!!"
'You already do' he thought.
"Um-I-I…"
"Don't be a BAD BOY." She growled, "You know I have ways of making bad boys become good." Her threat was evident as she put her face inches away from Nick.
He cowered like a six year old would from a ten year old bully about to beat him up in the playground. His eyes grew wide with terror as his body shook violently.
"Puh-puh-please mom. I didn't m-mean t-to talk back. I'll be good. P-please don't put me back in the closet again." He pleaded, his voice quivering in pure horror.
"Alright, but do it again…"
"I won't. I-I'm sorry. I-I'll be a good boy. I promise."
Mrs. Carter patted him on his head softly, as one would a dog. He shivered. "Okay. Hurry up and finish packing. You have to leave soon." She said cheerfully as if nothing had happened. She walked out leaving a terribly frightened Nick.
He finished packing hurriedly, wanting to get out of what he called "Carter House Of Hell" as soon as he could. He grabbed his bags, rushing down the stairs, not bothering to say goodbye to either of his parents. He threw his bags into the back of his forest green jeep. Nick hopped into the driver's seat, starting the car. He silently thanked God for the minor escape he would get during the school year and sped off towards Bright Sky.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick walked down to his dorm wordlessly. He wondered if his roommate would be kind, or if he'd be fun. He sighed, unlocking the door and entering the dorm. It was the same as the girls' dorms across the hall only with a green carpet and navy blue walls with the matching bedspread. He pulled out his pictures and hung them by his bed on his side of the room. He set up his canvas, beginning to finish his painting.This was his way of truly getting his feelings out. It was of a young blonde boy that looked remarkably like Nick, cowering in the night as two large shadows that resembled his parents somewhat towering over him as if they were going to attack him. He smiled at his finished work about thirty minutes later. He was glad he was at the school, even if he was a day early. Suddenly the phone rang. Nick lunged to the phone.
"Hello?…hey…cool, I can go for more choir practice. Yeah…sweet…maybe we can go get a burger or something after… Alright…Yeah, your brother AJ is gonna be there too?…Sure…Okay, where's your guys' dorm?…Be there in a few minutes then. Later."
He hung up the phone a small grin appearing upon his face. It had been Kevin Richardson, the senior who helped him develop his voice for Choir. His half brother, Alexander McLean, was there as well, who had been taking Choir and Drama with Nick the past few years. They were closest things nick had to friends. He pulled on his white Nike t-shirt to wear with his baggy blue jeans. He ran his hands through his blonde spikes, looking in the mirror satisfied. Nick grabbed his wallet and ran out the door.
"As he walked down the halls his only thoughts were, 'Why is this all I can get though? Why can't ANYONE be my friend? Or love me? All I wanna do is escape. Why can't I do that and be happy?' with that he walked up and knocked on the door to Alex's dorm to escape his thoughts.
Lost Souls by Rose
