A/N- Hey people, wow, it’s been awhile. At least it has been for me. Sorry about the delay, I’ve been having a REALLY bad earache lately, so it kind of delayed me. So here is the long awaited chapter! I hope you like it. Let me know what you think, PLEASE read and review!
“Lost Souls”
~**Chapter 6: The Darkness Within
Ray Anne and Brian Littrell sit in the back of their sixth period class, creative writing. Both Littrells are looking forward to the class since they like expressing themselves artistically in any way possible and figure this will be no different. Also, it is the one class they have where it’s only the two of them. Unlike Concert Choir, when they had each other along with: Kevin, AJ, Nick, and a friend Ray Anne made in her drama class, Howie. Ray and Brian are eager to find out about the other’s day. Ray Anne twirls her hair nervously as she gazes at her brother, her cerulean eyes sparkling.
“So, Annie how was your ‘performance’ in the cafeteria today. It’s all over school. First day and you’re already famous. I ain’t surprised though.”
Ray grins at him wildly, “Interesting to say the least. Fun, crazy, exciting, to say more. What’s not to like about that bro?”
“Rumor has it that there was some chemistry between you three that was more than friendly. I saw what Howie recorded on his digital camera and I kinda have ta agree. What’s going on? Who you gonna pick?”
“As of now you mean? Neither.”
Brain looks at her incredulously, expecting her to say she’ll pick Nick. He saw them this morning, he saw the chemistry then, but had stayed quiet about it. “Really now?”
Ray Anne sighs, running her hands through her honeydew curls. “ Well, it’s not that I don’t like either of them. I do. In fact I like both of them…A LOT.”
Her sibling gazes at her pointedly, “But…”
“BUT I want to actually get ta know them, and have them actually get to know me before anything starts, ya know? I mean, I’ve been hurt by guys WAY too many times in the past. I’m just so tired of guys only liking me because of my looks. I want them to like me for the REAL Ray Anne Littrell. I-I’m so tired of being used like that Rok. I don’t think I can take it if it happens again.” She whispers sensitively, her voice wavering with overwhelming sadness and despair.
Brian nods, smiling sympathetically at his sister. She’s been through a lot and it hurts him to know that he can’t protect her anymore like he used to. She’s been hurting and he wonders if she’ll ever be able to get past it. He leans out of his chair; quickly hugging Ray while their teacher’s back is turned and still talking of first day crap. He’s just hoping that Nick and AJ will be smart enough to wait when it comes to his Annie, otherwise ray Anne’s wrath will ensue upon them. He won’t be able to stop it, and it DEFINITELY won’t be pretty. His eyes catch sight of Ray’s melancholy face again and hastily changes the subject in an attempt to cheer her up.
“Ray Anne Littrell, you’ve just won the role of Sandy in the musical ‘Grease’, what are you gonna do next?” he jokes, holding a pen towards her as if it is a microphone.
Ray takes the pen, smiling weakly. “Ask my oh so loving brother of mine when he was planning on telling me he even tried out! Let alone landed the role of Putsie!”
Brian rolls his baby blue orbs at her teasingly. “Hey it was a bet I made with Nick earlier that day and lost. Who knew that I’d actually get a part? Especially Putsie for that matter.”
She shakes her head, “Bri, Bri, Bri! You’ve gotta have more faith in yourself! Didn’t you see how impressed Mrs. Bakko was last period when she pulled us aside for singing rehearsals since we’re all in the play and she’s supposed to help run it? I’m only a student aide in there so I can play piano for y’all, not sing!”
“Singing runs in the family, remember?”
Ray’s already small smile shrinks a little more, almost disappearing completely. “Oh…yeah.”
Brian hits himself mentally, ‘Oh that has to be the worst timing in the world. REAL smart. She’s already feeling down, so lets make it worse! Just great. Good going Littrell.’ He changes the subject yet again for his sensitive baby sister.
“So Annie?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you gonna try out for the talent show? You should, you’re too good not to. Tryouts are this Saturday and the show is the Saturday after.”
“Oh, hell ya.” Ray cries, her gentle face beginning to glow excitedly.
“Really? Great sis, cause I’m gonna do it too.”
“Oh yeah. Let me tell you what I’ve got planned for my act…”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick and AJ start walking over to their American Literature class, laughing at a joke that AJ had just told. Alex and nick both smile widely, and to everyone else they seem to be in high spirits. AJ stares at Nick’s carefree face enviously, for he can’t feel the same way. He has too many problems running through his mind. Problems that no sixteen year old should be worrying about the way he is. Unfortunately, AJ has no other option. This is his life. No matter how much he wants to change it he can’t. That’s why he hates it so much.
‘I wonder how mom is. She’s probably high or drunk somewhere. I hope those idiots haven’t come by to make more bets with her, or sell her more drugs. Damn, either way I need to get a new job. One that’s really close by. Hell what am I gonna do? How am I going to be able to do the play? I have to work as much as I can so Kevin can take a break sometimes and not have to worry so much. He’s eighteen but he acts like he’s thirty instead most of the time. But we have to pay our bills soon since MOM won’t do it!!! Damn. Why can’t I have a normal teen’s life? Look at Nick, he’s so happy, why can’t I be him? God, what did I do to deserve this? Dammit I hate being me’ he thinks in complete despair, running his hands along his yellow wifebeater and black baggy shorts. He glances at Nick, whose young face seems to be filled with light. But if AJ could hear Nick’s thoughts, see Nick’s dreams, he might realized that maybe Nick’s life isn‘t so great after all.
Nick keeps smiling; he forces himself to even though it does not reflect what he’s actually feeling. He’s trying his hardest to hide the disappointment residing within him for only getting ‘Kenickie’ in the play. Although he told everyone that he expected to get that, he had had his hopes set high on getting ‘Danny’. Especially now that he knows that Ray Littrell is going to be ‘Sandy’. The biggest opportunity he had to make the first move without feeling too nervous, gone.
‘Maybe mom and dad are right about me. I’m NOT talented at all, so what am I doing here? Today’s only the first day so it’s not too late to transfer to a public school and live back at home again. I mean, why bother doing something I’m not even good at?’ He thinks as his forest green cell phone rings shrilly from one of his jean pockets, but by the time he answered, the person has already hung up.
“Who was it?” AJ asks calmly.
“Don’t know, they hung up. But the person left a message on my voice mail, so hold on for a sec, kay?”
“Sure.”
They both go over to the side, leaning up against AJ’s locker as Nick goes to his voice mail to listen to the message. Much to Nick’s delight, it was Ray.
“Uh…um, hey Nick. It’s me, um Ray Anne. Are you okay? You seemed a little down earlier today. Anywhoooo…, I’m SO happy that you got Kenickie. Congrats! That role is completely perfect for you. Are we still on for tonight? Cause we need to go out and celebrate Nicky boy! I can’t believe we’re all gonna work together, Alex told me Kevin has a small role as the singing teen angel, and I found out Brian got Putsie. Plus Howie’s stage manager. Won’t that be a blast? You’re an amazing singer and actor. You HAVE TO try out for the talent show on Saturday with me and Bri, he’s the one who gave me your number. Hehe. My cell is 364-3949, give it to AJ too, and call me! Later Nicky boy!”
“So who was it Kaos?”
Nick flashes a genuine smile. “Just Ray.” He replies shyly.
“Cool.”
His mind wanders off again, thinking of what he wants, and what his parents want for him.
‘No, I’m staying here.’ He decides firmly. ‘If I did work for dad’s law firm would I be happy? NO. It doesn’t matter anymore if I’m talented or not. No matter what, I WILL keep acting, singing, painting and drawing. Those things are a part of me. Those are the things I live for. My joy in life. Nothing will keep me from staying here this year.’
“Oh Nick? Nick? Nickolas Gene Carter! You there buddy?” Alex questions, waving his hand in front of Nick’s face; bringing him out of his thoughts.
“Oh, yeah J?” he replies quickly as the bell unexpectedly rings, signaling the beginning of sixth period.
“C’mon,” AJ tells him, throwing an arm around his friend’s shoulders as they begin to walk through the now empty hallway. “Let’s go, we’re late enough as it is, and I don’t feel like making another visit to the office again.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Howie Dorough smirks as he watches Nick and AJ stumble rapidly into their American Lit. class ten minutes late. He stifles a laugh as AJ comes up with the wildest excuse he’s ever heard. It doesn’t surprise him whatsoever when their teacher, Mr. Guston shakes his head, giving them a quick lecture and not buying the excuse at all, before telling them to go take a seat. AJ catches sight of Howie in a seat in the back. He runs over, dragging Nick along with him.
“Hey D.” Nick greets timidly, looking down at the ground again. Howie groans inwardly, Nick was a great kid, but he needs to stop being so self-conscious and gain some faith in himself.
“Hey Nick.” He turns his head slightly towards AJ. “Wow McLean, are you stalking me now?”
Alex rolls his eyes at him, grinning slightly. “YES! Oh, I’ve gotta confess Howie. I’m like, totally in love with you! I’ve been following you all my life. You’re like totally my idol.” He says, mimicking those obsessive fans he always hears about on MTV. Those girls always amaze him. He just can get why they obsess so much over some gay, talentless, boyband
Howie chuckles gently as yet another teacher begins to talk of the extremely dull class expectations and rules. He glances over at Nick and AJ and is glad he has those two to keep him entertained all class period.
“So anything interesting happen today guys?”
“Nah, not really.”
“Nope.”
“What about the show you put on today? Is there something between one of you guys and that new chick? She’s pretty cute and both of you looked pretty comfortable when you were with her. Ya know what I mean?”
Nick runs his fingers over his silver dolphin charm anxiously; trying to hide the gigantic crush he had on Ray Anne Littrell. “Oh you mean Ray?” He tries to answer nonchalantly.
“Yeah, the student aide who played the piano and had to sing with all the main Grease cast members last period in choir. She’s nice.”
AJ’s face brightens up immensely. “You do mean ray, she’s the one who was doing the victory dance in drama when she saw she’s going to play Sandy.”
“That’s her. From what I’ve heard around school today, both of you are planning to ask her out. This only shocked me cause little Nick has yet to ask a girl out from out mostly stuck up selection of girls. Is my info correct? Or is it about time I start looking for new sources?”
Nick and Alex glance swiftly at each other, then back at Howie. They seem to have a look of indecision before shaking their heads enthusiastically.
“Nope, Ray’s just a buddy right now.”
“Yeah man, bone and I only met her the other day.”
“BUT-I might ask her out soon enough. She’s a cool girl to hang out with.”
“Then it’s safe to assume that the infamous Bone will strike again?”
“But of course.” AJ jokes in a fake, snobby, French accent.
“Figures.”
“But how do you know she’ll say yes? You barely know her dude.” Nick demands, his soft ocean eyes now fiery and with a little irritation hidden within his voice. His jealousy now beginning to shine through.
‘Great. For the first time, Nick is finally beginning to get the guts to ask out a girl who’ll probably say yes, and AJ wants the same one. Terrific. This school year is gonna get interesting. Especially since I’m in going to be stuck in the same class with both of them if those two end up fighting.’ Howie realizes as he notices that AJ’s eyes aren’t peaceful like they usually are.
“Because, I’m fun, bold, and daring Kaos. From what I’ve seen so far, it appears as if she really likes that in a guy.”
The two buddies stare at each other intently. Their eyes blazing with annoyance and irritation; both starting to size up their competition. Howie doesn’t understand why they’re getting all mad about a girl they hardly knew. He doesn’t get it, shouldn’t they get to know her first before fighting over her?
“So, guys what are your plans for later?” Howie questions, breaking the heavy silence between them.
‘Well,’ Howie muses as Nick tells him of the plans he and ray made to go clubbing with a group of friends and invites him and AJ to go with them. ‘The battle begins. Let the best man win. I just hope Ray Anne and even her brother, Brian are okay with this. I’ve noticed that Brian’s WAY protective over her. Plus, what if she doesn’t agree with this? If she’s not, God help them both. There’s nothing worse that a female’s wrath over two guys who treat her like an object instead of a person. And with what they’re gonna do, they’ll deserve it. Well, looks like this year ain’t gonna be boring anymore.’
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jamelet groans angrily as she watches students enter the room from her desk in the Modern Lit. class. She knew she shouldn’t have gotten out of bed this morning. This day officially stunk. It was just plain…bad. It can’t get worse, and there is no way it can get better. How can it? She likes Brian Littrell. He’s a nice guy, and someone she can trust, and see herself being friends with. But, as always, there’s a catch. He’s Ray Anne’s older brother. The roommate that she’s stuck with and hates with a fiery passion is HIS BABY SISTER. Oh, and it gets better. She also stupidly insults Ray Anne ignorantly, and Brian flips out, getting all brotherly protective over her. Yeah, she apologized, but she’s still annoyed about the whole thing. She doesn’t think she had to. Talk about bad karma.
Speaking of unfair things, she then hears about how cool Ray Anne is and how everyone loves her because of the stunt she pulled in the cafeteria with Nick Carter and AJ McLean. Nick Carter and AJ McLean! Those two are like celebrities at the Bright Sky School Of The Arts for their incredible talents and good looks, and for AJ it’s also cause of the shenanigans he pulls. Plus there hasn’t been a girl yet who’s caught Nick’s eye until Ray came along. Then AJ is all buddy-buddy with her, he cool, but is usually very picky with his friends and it takes him awhile. But, she guesses that Ray is the exception. Why is that some girls have all the luck? Some people can just have everything.
She sees Kevin Richardson stroll into the room then. She knows that he’s AJ’s older brother, but has never met him until government class today. She had only heard about him from AJ during their dance team practices. Her tan orbs follow his suave, handsome, face, staring into his deep jade eyes.
“Hey Jamelet.”
She feels her face begin to flush and tries to smile casually. “Oh…um….hi.” she falters.
Kevin sits down beside her slowly, his face blissfully bright. She turns her head away, trying to stop her constant staring.
“So, whatcha doing?”
“Not much.”
Kevin turns away shyly, seeming nervous and unsure.
“Um…I don’t know if you wanna do this…but um…”
“What?” Jamelet pursues.
“Well, what I mean is…do you want to go see a movie with me this Saturday? I’d say tonight, but me and the other fellas are going out, and Ray Anne’s coming along. I know you don’t like her, but I do an I don’t want you two to end up fight-”
“You’re babbling.” She interrupts, giggling softly.
Kevin grins sheepishly. “Oops. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I have tryouts for the talent show Saturday, but after that I’m free, so I’d love to go see a movie with you. When do you wanna meet?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ray grumbles as she trudges furiously into the dance studio, which was at the south end of the school gym. She had no clue on how she ended up in this class. Unless she was in a musical, dancing just isn’t her thing. Worst of all, she has to wait THREE WEEKS before they’ll be willing to let her drop the class for a different one. She grabs the dance uniform issued to her, black stretchy dancing pant and a Bright Sky Dance shirt, stomping off to the girls’ locker room. She can’t believe it, she hates dancing like this. It’s not her. She changes rapidly, and hurries back to the dance room, bursting through the doors and accidentally rams one of the doors into someone and knocking her down in the process.
“Oh, I’m-”
“Why don’t you watch where you’re going Littrell!” Jamelet hollers at her, brushing off her dance uniform as she got back up.
“Look, I’m sorry alright?! Stop being such a damn drama queen and let it go!”
“I’M a drama queen? Why? Because YOU rammed the door into me purposely! I think I have the right to get mad about that!”
“It was a freaking accident Jamelet! Get over it already!” Ray Anne shouts, a crowd beginning to gather around them since their teacher hasn’t entered the room yet.
“What is with you? Do you actually think you can do no wrong?”
“NO! You’re the one who’s constantly been on my case since I moved to the dorms!”
“At least I don’t get my ass drunk 24/7.”
Ray Anne froze, her heart beating rapidly, her eyes glowering at Jamelet. “WHAT did you say?”
“You heard me.”
Ray seethes, her last nerve finally beginning to snap as she strains to control herself, but it failing miserably. “I don’t do that either.” She growls fiercely through her clenched teeth.
“Oh really? What about that bottle of-”
“OKAY! That’s enough guys!” AJ screams, forcing his way through the mob of people. He stands between the two fuming girls, trying to end it before their dance coach, Mrs. Jackson, comes in and sends them all to the Deans’ Office for fighting. Alex sighs, he doesn’t know about them, but one lecture from La bonbons is plenty enough for one day.
“Shut up Bone! Why are you trying to help an ALCOHOLIC anyway?!”
The crowd gasps in shock and they all begin to stare at Ray with disgust. Jamelet smiles, the rumor has started, so the damage is done, no matter what Ray tries to do to fix it.
“Alcoholic!” Ray bellows, “That’s it! It’s on now.” She tries furiously to push past Alex to get to Jamelet, but AJ just pushes her back.
“Enough.” He whispers in her ear. “Do you REALLY wanna go see Dean La bonbons again today?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
He leads her away silently as the crowd disperses and Jamelet goes to sit on the other side of the room, smirking softly. Ray and Alex both sit on the floor cross-legged and facing each other just as Mrs. Jackson enters the room and introduces herself. Then she begins the warm-up exercises with the class.
“What’s with you?” AJ questions as they both begin stretching their legs.
“HER. What else?”
“But Jam’s cool. I know her pretty well. We’ve been on the advanced dance team together for two years now.”
“Then I don’t know. She judges me without even TRYING to get to know me first. It pisses me off J.”
“Well relax. This is our last class for the day and then we can go have some fun clubbing. This way we can leave our problems behind us.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” She replies softly as they stand with the rest of the class and watch Mrs. Jackson begin to show the beginning of a dance routine that was going to be used in ‘Grease’.
“Of course I’m right.”
“Who needs the drama anyway!” she cheers, starting to mimic the dance steps in an attempt to master them.
‘Too bad the drama won’t leave me alone and let me try to be happy.’ She thinks gloomily and tries to get through class so she can run down to Brian and finally be able to be herself and take off the she leaves on for the rest of the world to see.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nick drums his fingers along the table, getting bored as his talks on and on about stupid stuff like what they’ll be required to bring to class every day. He glances over at the teenage girl sitting next to him at his table and sighs. He doesn’t know a single soul in this class. He felt a little lost. He had expected this however, because he doesn’t know anyone who’s into art the way he is. He tries again to listen to the art teacher, Mr. Costell, but his mind ends up drifting off again. Onto things that he likes. Like on Ray Anne Littrell. He lies her, but has no idea on how to tell her that. He runs his fingers over his bright blue sleeveless shirt, trying to think of a way to tell her.
‘Maybe I just shouldn’t tell her.’ He considers seriously. ‘She probably likes AJ more than me anyway.’
Of course, it has to be AJ. He’s always the one who’s a hit with the ladies; hence the reason he’s called Bone. He hopes he’ll be able to snag Ray away long enough to dance when they all go clubbing tonight. Maybe then he can ask her out on a date. Or maybe-
“Boring class isn’t it?” a young feminine voice, coming from the seat next to him, breaks into his thoughts.
“Huh?”
“This class is boring. I mean, it’s hard trying to keep myself from daydreaming.”
“Yeah, me too.” Nick says, grinning and turning towards her, his ocean eyes beginning yo take in her delicate features.
She is pale with long golden locks and impish blue-green eyes along with a playful smile. She looks to only be about fifteen, yet there is a strength, or fire within her that made him consider otherwise. She’s wearing a baggy light purple t-shirt and navy jean flares. The girl is natural, no make-up or anything else fake about her. Yet, that isn’t what catches Nick’s attention. It’s the silver necklace she wore about her neck much like the one he’s wearing around his own neck. The only difference is instead of the dolphin charm he has on his, hers is a bright silver heart with a dazzling opal sparkling in the middle of it. He smiles, there is something about her that makes him want to trust her. He has no idea what it is, but decides to go with his gut instinct.
“Hi. I’m Nick. Nick Carter.”
“Anastay Lorden.”
“Nice to meet you Ana.”
“You too Nick.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Brian and Ray Anne Littrell beam as they walk into ‘The Enforcer’ together, a club for people twenty-one and over, but Nick has a friend who had let them in. The pop music beats loudly throughout the place, the people swarming all over each other on the dance floor, dancing crazily. Ray gazes back behind her at the rest of the group: Nick, AJ, Kevin, and Howie and is ecstatic that she’s the only female within the group. AJ grabs her arm quickly and leads her straight down to dance. Both begin dancing to the beat wildly.
**“Hey Mr. DJ, keep playing this song for me! Out on the floor in my arms, she’s gotta be! Let’s get it on, jam all night long, Mr. DJ! Mr. DJ! Play it for me.” Ray sings along with the song in tune, trying to avoid conversation.
AJ looks at her in disbelief. “You actually know this song?”
“Yep. Didn’t I tell you I like pop music?” Ray says nodding.
“No. I didn’t think you’d be the type to like to like it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Never mind.”
“Whatever.”
The song ends, a slow one coming on next. Ray looks about the club, trying to find her brother as she dances with Alex snugly. She does NOT like where this is going. Ray really doesn’t want to give him mixed signals, especially this soon, but it’s starting to become difficult for her. She knows however, that there is no way that she’s getting in a relationship with him or Nick this soon. Not until they get to know each other. Her eyes light up suddenly when they land upon Nick who was drinking up at the bar. He sees he and looks at her quizzedly, wondering what was going on. He sways to the soft melody as ray shifts her eyes on AJ and mouths ‘help me’ to him. Nick nods, getting up and begins shoving his way to her on the dance floor.
“Hey Bone, may I cut in?”
AJ breaks away from her and Ray hugs AJ for a moment and says they can dance again later. Alex smiles, but his frustration is clearly written upon his face as he goes over to the bar.
The two blondes leave the dance floor, drinking and talking till the slow song ended. Ray’s careful to stay away from the alcohol, she didn’t need to enforce Jamelet’s vicious rumor. Plus, she’ll drink privately, where Jamelet can’t prove it. Another fast paced tune begins to play and Ray Anne quickly pulls Nick onto the dance floor with her.
“I love this song, so dance with me Nicky Boy.”
“Yeah, so do I.” Nick mummers, his speech slightly slurred. Ray then realizes he’s totally drunk and thinks that she’ll probably have to drive him home later. But for now she decides to just have some fun and figure it out later.
They dance together for several songs; taking breaks every once in awhile, then getting back up to dance again. The rest of the group hung out with them, but nick only had eyes for Ray and Ray inadvertently only had eyes for Nick.
“So Sunny, are you fr-”
“Hey.” AJ interrupts, pushing himself between them, clearly drunk. “May I cut in Nick? Ray promised me another dance.”
Nick glares at him angrily, the alcohol beginning to affect his already quick temper. “No J, you’re completely wasted.” He slurs.
Ray Anne sighs sadly, “So are you Nick.”
“C’mon Kaos I just wanna dance with her. It’s not like you’d ever be able to keep her happy any-”
Nick stops him, slamming one of his fists directly into Alex’s face. AJ tackles him and both boys begin fighting roughly immediately. They keep at it, punching and kicking each other wildly. Brian, Kevin, and Howie see the commotion and run over. Brian pulls his sister away, embracing her tightly. Kevin and Howie dive right into the fight, pulling apart the feuding friends. Howie hold AJ back, while Kevin’s holding back Nick. Security finally arrives, telling them they had to leave right away or else they’d be arrested, but they leave the club peacefully. The moment they7 get out to the parking lot where their cars are parked though, Kevin blows a gasket.
“WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!? YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO FIGHT?!”
Neither of them responds, they see Ray Anne there in her brother’s arms, her face neutral and without emotion. They have no idea what she might be feeling or thinking, so both decide no to say it in front of her.
“Fine, don’t tell. I know Annie knows but we all need to hear it from you two first.” Brian spits out furiously.
“You two are too wasted to drive. Ray, here’s Nick’s keys to his jeep, please drive him back. I’ll drive mine and Alex’s car, but Brian can you please take Alexander James back in your car? I’m seeing red when it comes to him right now, so he won’t be very safe alone with me.” he pauses, running his hands through his black spikes with frustration. Both Littrells nod with agreement. “Okay then. We’re out past dorm curfew so sneak in quietly. What ever you do, DON’T GET CAUGHT with our two drunks here. Let’s go.”
Lost Souls by Rose
