Everything but the kitchen sink, but only because we never mentioned it before or
The Sequel chapter aka catch-up time!
When they got through the door, Kevin made sure to take a quick head count, “Okay let’s see…Nick?”
“Still a gnome?”
“Ha ha very funny…and no.”
“What’s crack a lacking?”
“I have no idea what that means but okay…Howie?”
“Just one of you right?”
“And are you the good Howie or the bad Howie?”
“I’m all good.”
“Because the good Howie would have never turned against us in a chapter like you did…”
“Look, I had my reasons okay? Ever since this stinking story started it’s all been about you guys and the writers have been kind of well, jerkish to me. I got my revenge.”
“On us not the writers.”
“Well yeah, but still it was worth it to see you turn purple Nicky!”
“Anyway, where the hell are we now?” Kevin said, bored with all the Howie centered talk.
“See what I mean? The abuse starts again!”
“But that’s not my fault it’s hers!” Kevin said pointing up at the writer.
Writer: Okay maybe I wrote it but that doesn’t mean you weren’t thinking that does it?
“Hey! I’m not boring!” Howie said placing his hands under his arms and doing the chicken dance.
All the guys laughed.
“You suck!” Howie said pointing his finger up at the writer.
Writer: Relax; I was only joking…besides I won’t make fun of you at all this chapter okay?
Nick leaned over and whispered into Brian’s ear, “I think it’s the poultry obsessed one again.” Brian nodded but then quickly stopped when he saw someone slowly walking up the hill towards them.
“Oh my God…it can’t be…” He said in shock.
“It’s Nicole!!!!” Nick finished when he saw his long lost love in full view. She looked beautiful as ever with her long flowing blonde hair and her gorgeous buxom body. The sun seemed to be following her as suddenly everything became brighter as she walked by. Birds began chirping, dead flowers began to bloom and…
“Okay don’t you think you’re overdoing it a bit? Nick’s happy we get it…” AJ said rolling his eyes.
Writer: I just wanted to make it clear, jeez relax.
Nick ran to meet his girlfriend and grabbed her in a tight embrace, picking her up and twirling her around as he did.
“Oh my God Nicole I have missed you SOOO much!! You have no idea. My life has been Incomplete with you!”
She began to cry as she gently caressed his cheek, “I have felt the same way sweet heart.”
“So where are the others than?” AJ asked walking up to meet the cute couple.
Once again Nicole started to cry, leaning into her boyfriend as they all sat down on a log. “It was horrible…just horrible.”
“What happened?” Kevin asked in a soft voice, hoping that the others were okay.
“Yeah the last time we saw you we were frolicking outside that cabin in the woods.”
Brian smirked, “AJ did you just say you were frolicking?”
“Actually I said WE were frolicking dumbass!”
“I do not frolick.”
“You’re right, gnomes tra la la they don’t frolick!”
AJ turned to Howie and gave him a high five, “Wow, good one D!”
“Well I might have tra la la’d but at least I didn’t yodel!”
“Guys ENOUGH!! Can’t you see my poor girlfriend has been through hell?” Nick said placing his hands protectively around Nicole, “go ahead sweetie, you were saying?”
“Well we were doing those star jumps on the bed remember Nick?” Nick nodded, “The next thing I knew I was outside with the rest of the girls, you guys were nowhere to be found. It was so weird, like you know what I mean?”
Once again Nick nodded but was kind of confused.
“Well Alex said we should go back and try to find you, you know because maybe there was a chance you guys would still let us be your opening act…”
“Oh lord, I forgot about that.” Kevin grunted but was quickly hushed by Howie as Nicole continued.
“And then all of the sudden this weird guy fell from the tree.”
“The Axe man!” All five guys said at the same time.
She nodded, “Yeah he had an axe and before I could say anything to Alex he kind of well…kind of chopped off her head!”
“Shit!” AJ said with his eyes wide.
“Yeah, it sucked.” She answered looking down at the ground and popping her gum. “Anyway…so Heidi, Brianna, Kelly and myself looked at each other and didn’t know what to do, so we ran!”
“You would think so, but then all of the sudden…Kelly lost her footing and fell down a hill.”
“Is she okay?”
Everyone looked at Nick when he asked that question as if he was the dumbest kid in the universe.
Writer: well sorry but that was a dumb question, she’s obviously by herself Nick.
“But you made me ask it!”
Writer: I know you are but what am I?
Writer: Turkey butt!
“Ookay then…” Nick said turning his attention back to his girlfriend.
“She was eaten by a duck!” Nicole screamed out grief stricken. All the boys started laughing at that point except Kevin who shuddered at the memory of the scary duck that had attacked him.
“The duck ate her ass?”
“Well he ate all of her actually.”
Brian shook his head, “Honey, AJ was just using an expression.”
“So what happened after the *giggles* duck ate your friend?” Brian asked but it was getting harder and harder for the boys to keep a straight face now which was further agitating Nick who couldn’t believe how heartless these people could be.
“Well, after that happened Heidi, Brianna and I continued on looking for you guys when all of the sudden we got really hungry. So we stopped at a Subway…and….and…” She started bawling her eyes out at this point, “And Brianna, well she chocked to death on a tuna Sub!”
“What? How the hell? It’s tuna! Did she forget to swallow or something? How dumb do you have to be to choke on TUNA?” AJ looked up at the end of his tirade to see everyone staring at him.
“Well it’s true!” He added.
“So what happened next Nicole, I know it’s hard but you can tell us.”
“There were these talking pigs…”
“Oh God…” Kevin said placing his hands on his head to rub at an oncoming headache.
“And well they didn’t like us very much because we were making fun of their accents.”
“Yeah those pigs kind of had anger management issues.” Nick said stopping momentarily and shaking his head at how stupid that sounded.
“They kind of beat us with sticks and Heidi well she got hit repeatedly in the head so I brought her to a hospital and we thought we were going to be okay but they said she had cancer and one doctor insisted her leg be chopped off. She died on the table.”
“Oh, sorry to hear that Nicole.”
She nodded and blew her nose on Nick’s sleeve.
“Ewww!” Nick said in disgust.
Writer: Oh like you wouldn’t do that to one of the guys.
“So, I have been roaming around ever since and then luckily I found you and the rest is history.”
Nick hugged his girlfriend tight to his chest, never wanting to let her go. “Now you are here with us and you are safe and sound, we’ll never let anything happen to you ever!”
Just as he said that, a dark cloud formed right over their heads and the wind started to howl with increased intensity. “You had to say that Carter didn’t you?” AJ said as he looked up to see a huge spaceship fall just below the clouds.
The wind was now blowing so fiercely the boys could barely stand and they all went falling to the ground, Nick never letting go of his long lost love as they lay side by side. The spaceship landed with a huge thud which made the earth quake and some of the trees surrounding it fall.
“Okay raise your hand if you think this is getting weird?” AJ said from the ground as the huge doors to the ship opened and out came Lord Nohajevian.
“Hey I thought we managed to shoot you!” Brian said standing up and walking over to join the rest of the boys who were now grouping into one cluster all protectively wrapped around each other.
“I got better!” Nohajevian said walking down the ramp with a slight limp.
“Shucks” Brian said, disappointed that he hadn’t killed the dark and evil Lord.
Scratching his head in confusion, Kevin whispered, “Guys isn’t this a little strange?”
“A little?” Howie asked as the gimpy evil guy walked closer to them.
“Excuse me I’m an EVIL LORD! Gimpy evil guy doesn’t have the same effect.”
Writer: Well excuse me...
“And I might not be evil, you know I’ve had a hard life…it’s not easy being a dark Lord. None of you have ANY idea…cue music!”
Sung by Lord Nohajevian
My life hasn’t been easy I can tell you this….
Killing and slaying people in my wake…
All I want is love and just some tenderness…
Why do I have to burn people at the stake?
It’s not easy being evil
No it’s not
It’s not easy when you hear people scream your name…
Nick: Wow they scream your name? I can barely pronounce your name.
Lord Nohajevian: Interrupt me again and I’ll kill you!
Nick: Okie dokie…sorry keep going.
It’s not nice being dark all the time
I want light in my life yes its true…
So please think about it, next time you call someone a villain…
Evil people have feelings too
“Oh my God! You even gave the Dark Lord a song? But not me? How fair is that?” Howie asked, now walking back to the log and sitting down.
“I’m sorry to hear that so many people misjudged you Lord Nohajevian, does this mean you are changing your ways and plan to be good?” Brian asked now placing his hand on the evil Lord’s shoulder.
“Oh goodness no, I just came to kidnap the girl.”
“Oh, never mind then.”
Nick stood in front of his girlfriend, “You can’t take my girlfriend, I just got her back!
Nohajevian walked closer to Nick now and held out his hand, “Come to me Princess Nicole and I will spare your boyfriend.”
“Like Oh my God did you just call me a princess?”
“Yes I did, if you come with me I will treat you like royalty I promise.”
“Nicole don’t listen to him, he is lying to you, he’s going to bring you back to his planet and then kill you!”
“But he called me a princess Nick and well, since my band mates are all dead, I have nothing left for me on Earth.”
“But what about me?”
“You are cute and all but, I think I should go with him besides…maybe he has a band!”
She walked over and took Nohajevian’s hand who kissed it and together they both walked back into the spaceship. The boys watched as it zoomed into the night sky and disappeared.
“Well that didn’t go like I expected it would.” AJ said now placing his arm around a love lorn Nick.
“Oh Lord and we were just getting over all the ‘where’s Nicole’ talk every five seconds.” Kevin said walking over and hugging his friend.
“My life can’t go on without her Kevin…she was my one love…” He said sobbing into his big brother’s shoulder.
“Aww it’s going to be okay little man…hush…come on and take a walk with me.”
Nick stood up and blew his nose on his sleeve, “Where are we going?”
“Into the woods.”
“Okay.” Nick followed Kevin as they walked down the small hill and into the woods, leaving the other three boys standing around the log confused about what was going on.
“This has been a weird little chapter hasn’t it?” Brian said taking a seat next to Howie who was still bitter he wasn’t able to have his own song.
“Damn right I’m still bitter!” Howie said bitterly.
“Redundant much?” AJ said looking up at the sky and winking.
“So chickie, are you going to tell us what genre this is?”
Writer: Excuse me, but I do not like to be called a chick AJ.
“Oh, sorry ma’am.”
Writer: That’s better.
“So what’s the genre? Hello? Hello? Where did she go?”
“Maybe she is following Nick and Kevin now.”
“Maybe Rok, So does that mean we are on our own?”
“I have no idea AJ, it’s not like this stupid story came with an instruction book or anything.”
“It should have though.”
“Amen to that Howie!” Brian said looking out to the woods to see if he could see his friends. “Why do you think they went out there?”
“Maybe Kevin is going to do us all a favor and kill the kid and put us all out of our misery from hearing him whine.”
“You know what’s weird?” Howie and AJ looked over at Brian who was now pacing back and forth. “That all these people are suddenly showing up again, I mean Nicole then that Evil guy and then she mentioned the pigs and the duck…”
“Oh my God you don’t think that damn chinchilla is around here do you?” AJ said suddenly looking up at the tree.
“Wait a minute guys; you don’t think this is some weird kind of recapping chapter? Like a ‘very special’ episode on good TV night?” Howie asked both boys who looked at each other and shrugged.
“They don’t do that in stories do they?”
“Not usually but they do sometimes bring back characters in…oh of course! This is some weird sequel, like a continuation!”
“Oh, shouldn’t one story end before the sequel starts?”
Writer: Do you have any idea how hard it is to write with two other people? How much planning it takes? We are lucky if we even finish this one.
“I’m just asking, now who needs to relax… jeez louise!” AJ said shaking his head at the writer.
Writer: Okay sorry, I’m just in a bad mood. Yes you are correct, this is a sequel and yes you are also correct, most sequels happen after the first story is finished but that will not happen for this one so we are just kind of throwing it here.
“Is that how this story is working? Are you just randomly throwing things together?” Howie asked as the other two laughed.
“Duh D have you been keeping up with this stupid tale?” AJ asked just as a chinchilla…
“AHHH! Okay I take it back…I take it back!!!” AJ yelped out like a scared five year old, looking up at the tree in horror.
“She did say she was in a bad mood Bone.” Brian said trying his hardest not to laugh at his wussy friend.
“Okay enough with the name calling!”
Writer: Anyway, that is why you have all of your ‘old’ friends coming back to see you this chapter.
“But why did Kevin and Nick go out into the woods?” Howie asked innocently.
When all of the sudden, “Hey where is that music coming from? I know that music…that sounds like…like…PORN music!” AJ said highly amused.
All three boys suddenly turned their heads to look out into the woods, “Oh my God you don’t think they are…they wouldn’t be…would they?” Brian asked just as he saw their two friends walking back up the hill towards them…well Nick was sprinting up the hill, Kevin was walking, with his shirt off and his broad shoulders and muscular build showing.
“Okay that description was totally unnecessary,” Nick said shaking his head and looking a little pale.
Brian’s head went down as did Howie’s but AJ couldn’t seem to wipe the smirk off his face, “So…Nicky…what were you two doing in the woods?”
Before Nick could answer Kevin finally reached the top of the hill as he was buttoning his shirt. “Uh…well…we kind of…”
AJ was just about laughing now, “Yeah?”
“Let me explain Nick.” Kevin said walking over and taking a seat on the log, “We were out there and all of the sudden Jason showed up out of nowhere.”
“Jason?” Brian asked confused.
“Yeah the Friday the Thirteenth dude, it was SO cool!!” Nick replied.
“Oh yeah…him, he’s a nice guy.” AJ said taking out a cigarette and lighting it up.
“Oh yeah real nice AJ, he just about killed the two of us!” Kevin scowled sounding exasperated.
“Yeah J, I was all like whoa dude can I have your autograph! And he was all like…I’m so going to kill you man! And I was all like shit and he was all like chasing after me…”
“So…” Kevin said wisely interrupting the blonde so this way everyone would get a REAL account of what happened, “I saw Nick being chased by this guy and I didn’t know what to do so I started throwing rocks at him.”
“Yeah, and he got pissed.”
“Well I would too if you were throwing rocks at me!”
“Whose side are you on AJ?”
“I’m sorry, go ahead…”
“Thanks, so he started coming after me but my shirt got caught on a tree branch just as he was about to attack me! I tried to unbutton it but I couldn’t break free.”
“And where were you when all this was happening?” Brian asked Nick who still was pale as he heard his older friend explain what had happened.
“I was hiding, dude he had a friggin machete!”
“Nice…” AJ said rolling his eyes.
“Kevin told me to stay hidden, didn’t you Kev?”
“Yes I did.”
“See?” Nick said sticking his tongue out at AJ.
“So what happened next?”
When Brian asked that question both Kevin and Nick looked at each other before Kevin continued, “Well…suddenly we heard a familiar voice humming a familiar tune and we looked up to see Justin walk by. At first I thought he was on a cell phone but he actually just had his hand up to his face talking to himself about all the people he was going to work on his next album with.”
“I don’t think that guy is all there personally…” Nick said twirling his finger around by his temple.
“Anyway when Jason heard Justin humming he stopped and turned towards the sound of his voice…”
“It was like he was in a trance or something.” Nick added.
“Well, Justin waved at the guy and said something like don’t worry I didn’t forget, I’ll have my people call your people, thanks for not killing me again dude.” Kevin continued.
“And then out of nowhere we heard porn music and well…let’s just say I guess Jason really REALLY likes Justin and leave it at that.” All five boys shuddered.
“So wait! You guys weren’t out there doing the nasty then?” AJ said kind of disappointed.
Writer: See? I told you guys, everyone wants the two of you to get it on!
“When did you tell them that?” Howie asked innocently once again.
“Not important.” Both Kevin and Nick said at the same time.
“So can we go yet? I mean I think you just about covered everything there was to cover in this chapter.” Brian started listing all of the genres that this chapter covered so eloquently I might add and finished with, “And don’t forget about Nicole.”
“Oh Nicole, I had almost forgotten about her” Said Nick, while scratching his butt.
“Wow dude, she’s been gone for about ten minutes and you already don’t remember her?” AJ shook his head.
“I bounce back fast.”
“Wait what about that never ending chapter where we all became cowboys and stuff? That was pretty cool.”
Writer: Oh that’s the AU chapter Nick.
“Yeah that one!”
Just as Nick said that a bullet flew by his head as a stampede of horses with cowboys on them came charging out of the woods.
“Oh yeah that was brilliant Nick!” Kevin stood up and motioned for everyone to follow him as they ran trying their hardest to avoid the cowboys.
“Where are we going now?” Howie huffed trying his hardest to keep up.
“I’m hoping we’ll find a door or something along the way…” Kevin yelled back to the guys.
“I’m hoping the next chapter will be about us finding a restroom because I have to pee like no one’s business!” AJ added.
“That would be a Weird World…don’t you know it?” Nick sang out of the blue.
Writer: Had to get at least one lyric in there!
“Oh I get it!” Kevin said just as he fell into a hole.
All the other boys tried to stop before they met the same fate but their momentum was too great so all of them went tumbling down…
“At least it wasn’t a cliff!” AJ bellowed before hitting the ground with a thud.
Thanks for reading, we have fallen behind on this one but we will try our best to get the next chapter up to you by next Saturday. Stupid real life!! lol