~ Mersey’s ending~
“Everyone, please welcome, the BACKSTREET BOYS!”
Howie slammed into Nick’s back and almost toppled over when Nick had suddenly stopped in his tracks.
“Ouch! Nick, why did you stop?”
“Because…we’re in a talk show?” Nick said.
“A what?” Brian exclaimed.
“Why do you always go ‘what’ when you know you heard it the first time round?” Kevin asked.
“It’s for dramatic purpose Kevin. Like, WHAT?!” Brian said, this time making a shocked Jim Carey face.
“I’m sure that helps a lot.” Howie winked sarcastically.
A random guy tapped Nick on the shoulder and said, “Guys, that’s your cue to come out!”
Nick looked around; trying to see the crowd but it was too dark. “Um, out there?”
“Yes out there. Please don’t mess up; Mersey will fire me for sure.”
“Why does that name sound so familiar?” AJ wondered right behind Nick.
“I think it’s one of the writers.” Kevin said.
Meanwhile, Mersey, obviously agitated, announced again, “Everyone, please, ONCE AGAIN, welcome the Backstreet Boys!”
Random guy was shaking in fear. “Please guys, just go out there before I get into trouble!”
“Okay fine!” Nick grumbled. “I thought we’re finally going home.”
“Home? In this story? What bullocks!” AJ said.
“You’re going English on me AJ, don’t go English on me!”
“Okay sorry, can’t help it.”
The crowd cheered and Mersey showed them to their seats.
“This reminds me of the set of Oprah.” AJ said.
“It does, doesn’t it?” Mersey admired the studio. “I was on Oprah once too you know, at Brain Candy Fanficfun.” Mersey said before turning towards a camera, smiling, and saying, “That’s triple W, dot groups’ dot yahoo dot com slash group slash brain candy underscore fanficfun for you out there.” Making sure to add in a wink and a thousand watt smile, she turned back to the guys. “It was fun to rule for once. And I got a Tiara to wear for an entire month!”
“Brain what?” Brian asked.
“Tasty.” Nick chipped in.
“That I am.” Mersey winked flirtatiously at Nick, who immediately stopped his candy cravings.
“Right okay boys, enough chit chat, we’re here because we’ve finally come to the end of this story, so this is like a discussion, like Oprah’s book club.” Mersey explained.
“Interesting…now what do we have to go through in this book club?” Kevin asked, feigning interest.
“Discuss, Kevin.” Mersey said, obviously holding herself back from strangling the hot one. “That’s what we do in book clubs.”
“Man Kev, that’s really a blonde question.” AJ said.
“And it’s funny cause Kevin’s not blonde.” Nick said.
“Wow, now I get it.” Howie rolled his eyes.
“Okay so, where do we start?” Brian asked. “I’d like for this to finish as fast as possible. I want to get back home to my family.”
“Yes Brian, I know you’re the only one here who has a family to go back home to, so let’s move on.” Mersey smiled. “Now, as a whole, what is your opinion on this story?”
“I think it sucks.” Kevin said immediately.
Mersey nodded. “How very…insightful.”
“Well, I don’t think one needs to have a brain to go through this story honestly.” Kevin defended himself.
All of a sudden, Kevin was pelted with rotten tomatoe and a series of BOOs! From the dark crowd.
“Oww! What’s that for?” Kevin grumbled as everyone distanced themselves from Kevin.
“Well you must realize that you’ve just insulted not only us writers but also everyone who has read this story.” Mersey said.
“Okay I’m sorry. I didn’t mean the readers, I meant the writers.” Kevin said. “You don’t need to have a brain to write a story that sucks.”
“I think it’s brilliant.” Nick countered. “I mean, sure we had to go through the axe murderer and the killer clown-”
“Not to mention having Justin.” AJ added.
“And howl crawlers.” Brian chipped in.
“And almost getting a limb chopped off.” Howie chimed in.
“And almost making us make out, you remember that Nick before you start saying this story is ‘brilliant’.” Kevin said.
Nick nodded. “Yeah okay, so the slash chapter was a little weird-”
“I wrote that chapter by the way.” Mersey cut in.
“Did I mention lovely as well?” Nick said. “A little weird but LOVELY overall. I mean, if I were gay, I’d SO do Kevin first.”
“Wait, Mare wrote slash, not me.” Mersey grinned.
“Oh well, in that case, then I’d like to-”
“BUT it’s still very nice of you to say that Nick.”
“I can’t believe you said that Nick.” Brian laughed.
“Hey can you write a sequel to that one? We SO want to see Nick SO do Kevin.” AJ laughed.
“You guys need to stop interrupting him, besides; the sequel had its chapter already. Go on Nick, you were about to praise this awesome story.”
“Well yeah…I mean, it takes a genius to constantly come up with all these funny things every single chapter.” Nick smiled.
“You just made him say that, didn’t you?” Kevin accused one third of the geniuses who wrote this story.
“No, and it takes 3 geniuses to write this story Nick, but obviously you think I’m the only genius, so thank you!”
Nick’s eyes grew wide. “But I-”
“But I’d like to call out our first guest of the evening. Random guy, bring him out!”
The audience applauded and out came random guy holding a very snappy duck in his arms.
“Kevin, why are you so stiff?” Howie, who was sitting next to Kevin, asked.
“You can put him next to Kevin, thanks random guy.”
The duck stared at Kevin and didn’t move a feather. Kevin just looked ahead, refusing to meet its glare. This made the writer of this chapter very happy.
Mersey rubbed her palms together and smiled happily. “Well guys, are you ready for the next guest to come out?”
“Depends, does this guest hate us?” AJ asked.
“Well…I can’t really remember.”
“You can’t remember?” Brian gasped. “What if it’s the axe murderer? We’re going to die before we end this story!”
“You need ginko biloba. It helps, A LOT, trust me.” Howie winked.
“Thanks Howie, but I can’t help but forget because well, I didn’t write the chapter this guest appeared on.”
“Can you please just bring this guest out?” Kevin said with gritted teeth when the duck snapped, almost biting his neck. Kevin was forced not to say another word.
“Okay then, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my next guest, Lord Nohajevian!”
Lord Nohajevian came out with his trademark black outfit complete with that mask and his breathy accent.
“Please, take a seat anywhere you like.”
Lord Nohajevian almost sat next to Kevin but saw the duck and decided to sit next to Brian instead.
“Now, you’re a very interesting character, aren’t you Lord Nohajevian?”
Somewhere out in the audience, someone shouted. “I WROTE HIM! HE WAS IN MY CHAPTER!”
“Maria, get out of my chapter and WRITE!” Mersey said before looking at the camera. “I want that cut out from the final tape okay?”
Meanwhile, Brian was bonding with Lord Nohajevian…
“So you’re really not Darth Vader?” Brian asked.
Lord Nohajevian sighed. “No, for the last time, I’m NOT him.”
“You’re not Dader Varth either right?” Nick asked.
“Who the heck is that?” Lord Nohajevian asked.
“His cousin, I think.” AJ answered for Nick.
“Yeah, like Kevin and I. We’re cousins.” Brian grinned.
“Oh, is the duck a second cousin?” Lord Nahojevian asked Kevin. “He has your eyebrows.”
“And his personality.” Nick joked.
“No, the duck and I are NOT related whatsoever.” Kevin grimed.
“Really? Coulda fooled me.” Lord Nahojevian said.
“Just like you and Darth Vader I guess.” AJ said.
“Ugh, please, I have no relations whatsoever with that person.”
“While we’re still on topic Lord whatever, can I just say it’s been a pain to type your name every single time!” Mersey complained. “I don’t know what possessed Maria to make up such a name! I keep typing it wrong.”
“Aww, you can call me Jevvy for short.”
“Are you serious?” AJ laughed. “That’s so…”
“FUNNY!” Howie laughed.
“Yes it is, and you might want to not bring that up if you want to go home by this chapter.” Lord Jevvy said.
Everyone went silent. Kevin smirked but went back to his straight face when the duck snapped at him again.
“Well, Howie, what do you think of your adventure in finding a plot so far?”
Howie, finally glad that he was asked a question, answered. “Well, to be honest with you Mersey, I have to say that you girls are biased. You always bully me the most and I’m constantly made fun of and if not, forgotten.”
“AJ, what do you think of the Crossover chapter? I personally thought it was the best of the lot.”
“Um Hello? Did you not listen to what I just said?” Howie asked as he waved his arms wildly to get the writer’s attention.
“Howie please, AJ is about to say something.”
Howie rolled his eyes and sank deeper into the couch. “Happens, ALL the time!”
“I thought it was funny too! I mean, when I started to talk to…who was it, Jason? The killer guy? Yeah, that was deep.” AJ said.
“Aww yes, Mare did very well to reveal another side of that evil person. Deep down inside, he actually seems kinda nice, doesn’t he?”
AJ nodded, wondering what had happened to Jason, whom he considered his friend. “I’m still unsure if his name is Jason though. I think that’s it.”
“Yeah well, Mare wrote that one and you didn’t go through Mare’s door so you can’t ask her so I guess you’ll never find out. That’s what happens in a choose your own adventure story.”
“But you’re one of the writers. How can you not know?” Kevin smirked. The duck climbed up and settled on his lap. “Oh great.”
“I can’t remember EVERYTHING Kevin, how many times do I have to say that?” Mersey the awesome-est writer said.
“Gee I don’t know, until you remember?” Kevin spat. The duck quacked at him ferociously and bit his finger. “OUCH!”
“See Howie, I’m mean to Kevin in this chapter, not you.”
“I can see that. Thanks Mersey, perhaps you can let me sing in this chapter? Mare never lets me sing.”
“Okay guys, our very last guests are fans of you guys.”
“Does this mean I get to sing?” Howie asked.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the Ghetto Pigs!”
The three Ghetto Pigs came out giving peace signs as they made their way to the seats. Howie was still trying to get the writer’s attention but was ignored totally.
“Wassup homies!” Pig 1 said.
“DUDE, DIS PLACE RAWKS MAN!” Pig 2 said.
“Dawg, dis place is CRUNK!” Pig 3 yelled.
“I never understand what crunk means.” Kevin said to the duck. The duck waggled its tail and raised an eyebrow. “I know, what’s up with that?”
Meanwhile, the rest of the guys were giving handshakes and some ghetto greetings before making some space on the couch for the pigs.
“ah` miss ya` guys!” Nick said as he hugged Pig 1.
“Aww we miss ya` too! So what's new?”
“Well nodin` much, we're waitin` fo` dis chapter to finish so we kin go crib. What's new wid ya` guys?” Brian said.
“Well, we finally built a crib we love and we gots party all night. Hey, ennyone gots a cigarette?” Pig 3 asked.
“Yeah ah` do.” AJ said.
“Oh grfeed, ah` need to smoke.” Pig 3 said.
“Wow, that's a big ass necklace ya` have dere!” AJ exclaimed.
“Damn right! Ice all ova in dis one brotha.”
Hey Nick, ah` saw dis hot blonde babe backstage, said her name be Nicky, man, she's da bomb! ah` asked fo` her number and she said ring her sometime. ah` dink I'm in love man.” Pig 1 said.
“Oh God not again. I can’t I even understand what’s going on right now.” Kevin grumbled. The duck quacked her agreement.
“What? Nicky told ya` that? da Bitch!” Nick yelled.
“Nick dis be a family show man.” Brian reminded him.
“Oh yeah sorry. da bitch!”
“Okay, okay! Look man, she's no phat dude. You're better uhf widout her.” Nick said.
“Hey ah` also saw a kid wid a broom that fly backstage too. And dis two hairy midgets lookin` fo` da Precious. What's that about?” Pig 2 asked.
“ah` dink that's Frodo and Sam dawg. They were in da Crossova chapter ah` dink.” AJ replied.
“Ah ah` see. Well, they're all better den dat Justin dude. He raps about himself non stop, ah` almost kill him.” Pig 1 said.
“Wait, ah` thought Jason went uhf to kill him and Britney?”
“Jason got sidetracked ah` dink, he's back dere as well, playing wid his saw. ah` thought he was goin` to make ham out uh us but he's cool.” Pig 3 said.
“Wow, nice convo going on. I love how I have no part in it whatsoever.” Howie winked at Mersey.
“Well Howie, it’s hard enough to write a convo between 3 pigs and 3 Backstreet Boys as it is. Kevin doesn’t whine, so stop it.”
“He’s got a DUCK to talk to!”
“So you want an animal yourself?”
“Well, not really.”
“Gosh Howie, you’re giving me a headache!”
“I think that’s from writing ghetto.”
“Not really. I found this cool website that translate normal English to ghetto slang.” Said the smart writer. “But you’re right Howie, listening to them gives me the headaches. I don’t think I want to bring out Nicky and her dumb friends at this rate.”
“Well, you could end it here you know. I mean, we’re happy to finally go through that final door and you will finally have another story done. You do realize you have tons others that you need to update?”
“Thanks for reminding me Howie, now I really have a headache!”
“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help. I really think you should end it.”
Mersey sighed because she really loved writing this collaboration. “Well Howie, you’re not the group’s negotiator for nothing.”
“Damn straight!” Howie winked.
“Well, okay guys, sorry to break this ghetto party but I’m going to end this story right here.”
All the lights in the studio went on and for the first time, the guys get to see the audience. It was filled with all the characters that appeared throughout the story. It was heartwarming to see The Chinchilla and Mike Tyson hand in hand and Justin with Britney, slapping each other.
The boys each received a hug from the writer who rocks before they waved goodbye and a door appeared at the end of the stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen, animals and axe murderers alike…THE BACKSTREET BOYS!”
The boys took one last bow and Nick had a tear in his eyes. A part of him really didn’t want to leave the awesome writer behind. But alas, all good things must come to an end; he stepped through the final door, the cheering from the crowd the last thing he heard.
Hi guys! I would like to personally thank all of you who have been there since day 1 and read this little collaboration of ours. Sorry if it made you feel dizzy and think we’re crazy. Well, the crazy part is somewhat true. It’s a dream to write with these two girls and it wouldn’t have come true if it hadn’t been for our friendship. So thank you muchly Mare and Marina for jumping into this idea and going through it. We’ve had ups and the downs and I apologize if I ever come off too strong that I hurt your feelings throughout this entire process. I love you both!
Stay tuned for door number three...