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A Mother's Tale

~Chapter One- The Lost Absence

As far as she can remember, for the past forty-five years of her life she felt she had reached her goal in life. Happily content with her small family, she felt blessed, even lucky with where she was at the moment. She was content with where her life had taken her. She grew up in a middle working class and have never had to endure the serious case of financial struggles. However, she never thought herself higher than those out there. She consistently volunteered for various programs to help those of the needy and offered to give some money to hospital facilities that needed the financial sources for better programs and equipments. Having excelled in getting her master's in her late twenties, loss of time due to her early pregnancy at twenty, she looks back with a conscious thought, glad for the way things turned out. She didn't regret having a child so early at that time, most of her companions and friends already had started their family around the same time so it only seemed natural to her as well.

Sitting in the kitchen, a waft of syrup and chocolate evaded her nostrils for a moment, breaking her into a smile. Her dark coffee eyes watch intently as her eldest son of twenty five, playing with the logos with his four year old sister. Her son was sitting sprawled out with the bucket of logos before him, splattered across the wooden floor as her daughter giggles and watches with full interest.

"Boom! It all falls down!" Eliez squeaks out, intentionally knocking down the logo tower her brother created, as she claps with her chubby hands full of glee, her bright azure eyes glimmering in mischief as she attempts to tackles her brother.

Nick laughs and looks over at his mom who seemed to enjoy the small show. "See Eli! Mom caught you!"

Eliez gasps, stepping away from her brother, her little chubby legs peeked under the sunflower dress she was adorned in. "Na uh...I'm good see! You made me." She giggles again, passing her hand over her rosy cheeks. "Right mommy, I'm good. He did it." She stands firmly, her little hands balled into fist as if to make a point across to both of them.

Nick sits back propped on his elbows snickering as his little sister runs past him, her dark honeysuckle locks tied into a tight long ponytail that swayed with each of her movements. "Mom, I gotta head out shortly. I gotta meet up with Arianna later tonight, her parents are coming into town and she wants me to meet them finally."

"Oh really? Wow already? She must really like you then." Jasmine replies casually, watching her daughter run amuck through the scattered logos strewn around the living room suddenly.

Nick nods, a smile breaking into his young face. "Yeah...I think she could be the one you know."

Jasmine's face breaks into a happy stun, her mouth drops as she runs over to him hugging him. "Oh if your father could hear you now, this is great news!"

Nick's laugh burst into the air as he struggles to stand up against his mother's added weight, embracing her back. "Yeah I know about time huh? I just keep thinking about what dad would say to all this if he was here at the moment."

"Oh he would flip over in joy sweetie, you know he loves that girl and the thought of you two finally getting serious is great news."

"I know." Nick smiles, running a hand through his messy dark honey spikes. "Its that damn job he always have, keeping him away. He's always traveling around from hospitals to clinics when he's needed and I just wish for once he could take a few days off."

"You know as well I do that he wishes the same, but that doesn't work out that way. He's a surgeon sweetie and he wants to do his job right, it’s not his fault he gets called in at different time."

"Yeah I know that." Nick whispers out, a small smile crosses his face as Eliez skips around him giggling holding a doll up to him. He kneels down looking at the doll and smirks: "What is it Eli?"

"You leaving?" Eliez squeaks out, frowning. A small crease forms on her forehead as she gazes at her brother.

"Just about, why?"

"Give Molly a kiss when you go bye bye." Eliez holds out her cabbage patch doll to him.

Nick smirks and nods, kissing the doll's cheek and grabs Eliez covering her in kisses around her pretty round face. Squealing in glee, she shifts and struggles against her brother's kissing attacks. Jasmine watches her children and exhales happy, feeling like the day was just perfect. Even the weather outside gleamed in joy, the sunny skies broke into peace with its bright hazy yellow color, washing over the early afternoon.

Standing up, Nick hugs his mother and smiles. "K, I'll call ya later tonight and tell ya how it went. I'm hoping Ari's parents won't eat me alive."

Jasmine grins evilly at her son, "And why would they want to get you if you did nothing wrong..."

Nick snickers: "Things happen ma...you know how that goes." Laughing softly, he grabs his car keys and heads out of the door, stepping out in the nice suburban neighborhood and towards his black jaguar waiting in the parking lot. "Bye mom!" he calls out getting into the vehicle.

Smiling, Jasmine waves bye to her son, brushing back a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. "Love you sweetie!"

Nick pulls out the driveway honking the horn in response and drives off, sticking a hand out the window waving to them bye. Jasmine holds her gaze at the vehicle until it disappeared down the street turning a corner. Feeling a tug on her white pants, she looks down to her see daughter smiling at her.

"Mommy...is Nick coming back here?"

"Not tonight baby."

Eliez nods and reaches for her mother's hand, both heading inside the house.
~*~

She bolts up in bed hearing the booming of the thunder roar into the dark velvet night sky. A slight shiver races down her spine as goose bumps cover her bare arms. She could hear Eliez screaming down the hallway and she quickly slides off the bed rushing to her daughter's bedside. Sprinting down the wooden floor, she swings open her daughter's door and rushes over to Eliez. "Ooh sweetie...shhh, its ok it’s just the rain baby. Nothing to be afraid of pumpkin." She cradles her crying daughter who's tears seemed endless as she sat up in bed cradling her cabbage patch. “Shhh...you're safe. That’s outside, you're inside here with me and nothing is going to get you ok." She whispers out to her, softly running a hand through her daughter's flaxen hair cradling her close to her heart. "Mommy is here, nothing will harm you."

Eliez quiets down, sniffing as she roughly wipes away her tears. "Mommy is Nick coming here now?" in her baby voice though many times her extended vocabulary surprised the family. As her husband would say, 'She's the genius in the family.'

Jasmine shakes her head, "No baby remember I told you, not tonight. He's with Arianna."

"Ooooohh." Eliez frowns and sniffs. "Mommy Nick should have stayed here..." She trails off gazing at the rushing raindrops running down the outside of her window panes.

"Aww, and daddy too." Jasmine sighs, kissing Eliez temple. "You get some sleep, its ok. The rain will leave and it'll be pretty in the morning."

Eliez smiles and lies back as Jasmine drapes the teddy bear blanket over her, kissing her cheek and quietly slipping out of the room. Eliez sighs and cuddles her doll Molly close to her chest, closing her eyes for some rest.
~*~

Jasmine quietly walks down the hallway reaching the master bedroom when a sudden pounding coming from her front door makes her jump in surprise. Gulping, she checks the time in the hallway clock and frowns. "Who's knocking at three thirty in the morning?" She whispers out, taking the stairs, going down it two at time as a cold mist of concern settled in her chest. Opening the front door, she looks at her son's friend, the neighbor who lives further down the block.

Narrowing her eyes she watches him as a cold inviting breeze rushes to her. "Damien what are you doing here? Its three in the morning."

"Sorry..." He gulps. "I tried to tell him...I told him to not do it...but it wasn't his fault." He chokes out, shivering and completely drenched with the ongoing downpour before them.

Jasmine frowns, feeling her heart race with each thought or processed idea that conjured within her. "What are you talking about?" She whispers out, looking down the road hoping to God that maybe her son's car will pull up or that she would get a call from him. She watches the young man curiously, his light eyes look down the road.

"He's not coming...he was in an accident..." The dark haired man begins to explain. "He just dropped off Ari and he called me when he was on his way back to his place."

Jasmine's frown deepens with the story as she listens intensely to each word said. "Don't tell me this news..." She shakily whispers out. "Don't tell me something bad."

A thunder boomed as lightening flashes above them. "I was on the phone with him when it happened...I told him to stop...to stop driving and pull over cause the rain was coming down hard, but he didn't listen...he wanted to reach his place and had no thought of stopping. I told him to stop...honestly I did. I heard everything...everything from the crash."

Jasmine blinks not wanting to believe the news told to her and lashes out at the young man. "Go home! Don't bring this to me! It's not true!"

Damien frowns and steps off her cement pathway. "I'm sorry....I'm so sorry." He chokes out, running off down the pathway back over to the sidewalk to get to his house.

Jasmine watches the figure of the man disappear seeing only a shadow through the dark night as she looks down the road hoping for her son to pull up but saw nothing but dark shadows and the lonely dark road before her.
Sniffing, she steps inside not wanting to believe any of the news. Until there was actual proof, that man’s words won’t bring her any burden. Closing the door behind her, she turns to see Eliez standing in her little purple gown holding her doll.

“He’s not coming home for long time?” Eliez whispers out sadly.

“No, no you don’t know that. He’ll be here in the morning and it’ll be nice and everything will be ok.”

Eliez frowns and shakes her head sadly hugging her mother and goes up the stairs to her bedroom. Jasmine exhales deeply, watching her daughter enter and later close her door upstairs before she made her way to the master bedroom.

She enters her room seeing her white curtains flutter in the cold breeze entering from the open window. Going over to close the window, she frowns knowing her windows weren’t open before hand or least from what she can recall. Brushing off the minor incident, she slides back under the cool covers of her bed and lets out a puff of air. Cradling her pillow, she rest her head on it and tries to close her eyes yet the plaguing thoughts of the young man’s words nagged at a small part of her. “He doesn’t know. It can’t be…” She murmurs out sleepily, shutting her eyes to get some sleep.

It was no more than an hour since she had tried to get some sleep when her phone rang loudly. Blinking and startled, she groans out reaching for the nightstand where the cordless phone is ringing. Pulling the black phone to her ear, she mumbles out a “Hello?”

“Hello this is officer Winterland calling from precinct 15 looking for a Mrs. Jasmine Loughlin Carter.”

Gulping down a lump forming in her throat she whispers out: “I’m she you’re speaking with.”

“Mrs. Carter…I think you should come down to the station now…its imperative you get here.”

“Why can’t you tell me here on the phone?” She whispers out dreading the news.

“Ma’am please I think you need to be here in person.”

“No…tell me here, I have a four year old daughter I can’t make it out there at the moment. Just tell me.”

The officer exhales closing his eyes as he whispers out: “Your son Nickolas Carter was involved in an accident. We found his…him… and need you to identify if that is indeed your son. I’m terribly sorry ma’am for this horrific news.”

For a moment, Jasmine seemed muted to the news. She didn’t want to or rather couldn’t believe that one moment her son was alive and well eager to start a new life and the next gone. Gone from her life and existence. She tries to pull herself together as she hears the officer in the other line whisper out a painstaking apology to the tragic news.


“Can you make it to the station ma’am?” He asks again, this time his voice a more gruff tone to emphasize his lack of emotions over the woman’s sudden loss.

“Yes…” Jasmine whispers out, her eyes focus on the still white curtains hoping for some form of answer that was against this. Her vision blurs slowly as she allows the news to seep into her. Yet in the back of her mind she had that hope, that hope that maybe it wasn’t her son’s body there but rather some unfortunate soul with similar structures. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there. I have to have to wake up my daughter.” She whispers out monotone, the news chilled her and threw her into a mild daze as she clutches the phone tightly in her left hand.

“Alright. You take care and if you need someone to come pick you up I can send one of the boys from the station to get you if you feel that would be better. I don’t think it would be wise for you to come driving through this storm and with this news it would be wrong on my part.” Officer Winterland states, scribbling something on a memo pad.

“Yes…that sounds like a better idea.” She whispers out, her eyes transfixed on the storm banging on her glass pane windows, each rain drop falling furiously with each hit splattering hard against what it touches.

“Very well I’ll send over a young officer, he’ll come pick you and your little girl up then. What’s the address?”

“Ooohh ohh thank you…Its…its…” Jasmine gulps, closing her eyes to let the sorrow pass through before she chokes out her house address: “Its twenty five dash two on Oakland. We’ll be out in the front porch waiting for the ride.”

The officer nods: jotting it down and closes his memo pad. “I’ll send Dorough over shortly then. Again ma’am I’m terribly sorry for your loss, if that is your child’s body that is.”

Jasmine gulps and hangs up the phone, brushing off the few tears that leaked down her warm flushed face. “Why…why me? This has to be a mistake.” She whispers out in fright, struggling to stand up. Feeling weak kneed, she exits her room and rushes into her daughter’s room picking Eliez up in her arms.

Eliez cuddles close to her mother’s warmth and slowly opens her sleepy eyes. “Mommy I’m tired.” She whispers out yawning eyeing her mother. “You sad? You crying?” She whispers out innocently, her eyes growing big at the sight of the dry tears staining across her mother’s pale cheeks.

“Something bad?” She asks again, hoping her mother would talk already as she’s lead to her small hello kitty dresser. She watches her mother struggle to pull out a blue ruffle t-shirt from the dresser and her hands shake as she pulls off the small pajama gown off Eliez’s little body.

Eliez frowns, not understanding what could be the bother for her mother and whispers out, “You sad for Nick?”

Jasmine gulps, dropping Eliez’s blue t-shirt at the sound of that. “What did you just say?”

“Mommy, Nick is not sad. Why are you sad?”

“Because…I am ok. You get dressed someone is coming to take us the police station sweetie.” She tries to go around her daughter’s sudden comment.

Eliez gasps and pulls on the shirt, gulping. “Police?! Why? We good. Mommy I didn’t eat the cookie. I’m sorry. No police here!” She croaks out, shaking, her little hands quiver at the thought of being sent away for having a snack before dinner behind her mother’s back.

Jasmine smiles sadly, running a hand over her child’s flaxen’s locks, grabbing a brush to fix Eliez’s hair in a quick ponytail. “No. You’re not in trouble. The police just want to talk to us, that’s all.”

Eliez seemed complied with that answer and busily puts on some yellow shorts, the only sound was their soft breathing and the splattering of the rain drops outside striking the windows and house.

Eliez puts on her little sandals as she watches her mother hurry around her going back to her own room to get dressed.

Jasmine flings off the robe and throws off her pants and camisole, quickly putting on some jeans and an old navy blue jersey that her son outgrew a while back. Frowning at the shirt, she sniffs, rubbing her teary eyes at the thought that this could one of the only things she has left of her only son. “Don’t think that way. They’re all confused…they don’t have him. He’s not dead, he can’t be.” She nags at herself trying her best to hold herself together. Finding a small clip, she pins up her hair and leaving behind any of the makeup to apply. Stepping into flip flops, she heads down the stairs to get her house keys and calls out to her daughter: “Eli pumpkin, come down here honey. Its about time for us to go.”

Eliez quickly appears besides her mother as she clutches the doll close to her little self. “Mommy…I want daddy.”

“I know sweetie, you know he’s working hard for us. You’ll see him later.”

“Nick is sleeping mommy.” Eliez suddenly whispers out, her light sapphire orbs seemed transfixed at the rain drops sliding down the living room window.

Jasmine frowns at the statement and takes her daughter’s hand quickly stepping out to the front porch. Locking the door behind her, she waits patiently for the police car to arrive at their place.

Eliez softly begins singing a song that Nick taught her a while back: “Jesus loves the little children…all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white. They’re all precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

Jasmine exhales, listening to the song, a small smile curved her lips at the song recalling how she sung it to Nick all the time when he was a child himself.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Eliez blinks and waves in the darkness to something hiding in the dark. Jasmine narrows her eyes and shifts her eyes over to see the shadow of a man approaching them.

Eliez smiles, “Look mommy, Nick’s friend.” She states happily, tugging at her mother’s hand and lets go of it before Jasmine could grab her.

Jasmine watches her daughter bound over to the young man who was soaked and stepped out into the front porch light eyeing them. “Didn’t I tell you to go home? Why are you? Its late.”

“I know that. I just wanted to drop something off that’s all. I found this at my place and forgot to bring it to you. It’s…it’s a picture Nick left at my place. I thought you might want it.” Damien whispers out, holding out the photo, his dark hoodie drenched as he lifts up the hood to cover his already soaked head.

Eliez smiles, her soft eyes look over at the photograph as she takes his hand. “Nick’s not in that picture.”

Damien blinks at the girl’s comment and hands the photo to Jasmine who reluctantly takes it and shoves it into a jean pocket of hers without even looking at it.

“Aren’t you at least going to look at it?” Damien whispers out as the harsh car lights bathe them all suddenly from the arriving police car.

Damien gasps and eyes her, “You called the cops on me?!”

“No…don’t flatter yourself young man.”

Damien snorts and steps back hiding in the shadow as Eliez lets his hand go, walking over to her mother, her clothes slightly wet from the rain pouring down on them.

The car slowly parks in the pathway as the headlights flicker and beam brightly on them. Jasmine picks up Eliez and quickly heads over to the police car as a young man steps out of the driver’s seat eyeing them.

“Mrs. Carter I assume?” A darkly tan man asks, gazing at Jasmine.

Jasmine sniffs, nodding her head. “Yes…you the cop sent to take us to the station?”

The man nods, “Sure am. Hop in. You guys are drenched. I’m Dorough from precinct 15. Winterland sent me for you guys.”

Jasmine satisfied with the answer, gets in the passenger seat cuddling Eliez in her arms as she buckles up, looking out of the window to see the neighbor stay in the shadows watching them all.

The cop slides into the driver’s seat, tugging on his blue attire as he glances over at the two besides him. “What a wake up call. I heard what happened.” He whispers out over the soft humming of the car as he begins to back up the car, pulling away from the house.

Damien watches the police car disappear from his view and heads back to his place shaking his head.
~*~

Jasmine exhales softly, her eyes focus on the passing scenery whirling past her on the highway. She could feel Eliez’s nodding head close to sleep as she shifts in the seat.

The cop gazes over at her and clears his throat. “If you want to go to sleep its fine. I won’t bother you. I know it’s a rough night.”

“No…its fine. I’m not tired suddenly.” She whispers out sitting up adjusting her arms to accommodate Eliez’s sleeping body.

“Right of course you aren’t.” The officer states, “I’m Howie by the way. My name that is. You can call me that if you like, it feels less intimating that way I think.”

Jasmine nods and glances over at the young man smiling. He was quite attractive by appearance, his dark piercing coffee eyes accentuates his tan face as the attire he wore gave off a state of power yet alluring to the eye. “Very well Howie…did your other officer tell you exactly why I’m going there?”

“Kinda…not really sure on the details though.” Howie states, his eyes focused on the wet slick road before them. “Just that a call was made to you and I had to come get you.”

“Right...” Jasmine gulps, settling back in the passenger seat, the leather sticking to her hot flustered arms and back.

“I also know the morgue made a call to our office today.” Howie eyes her, biting his lower lip, wondering her reaction.

Jasmine simply gazed straight forward, no emotions crossed her facial features to give in to what she was thinking. She seemed lost in her own world, her thoughts trying to figure out what really is going on, the answers mocking her as question after question filled her thoughts so fast it felt like she was spinning around violently looking for answers that won’t come.

Howie clears his throat and slowly pulls up to the police station, parking in front of it as he unbuckles his belt getting out.

Jasmine quickly does the same as she slides out of the car holding her sleeping daughter in her arms.

“Just follow me inside, I’ll take you to Winterland. I think he has some questions to ask you.”

“Wait.” Jasmine whispers out stepping up to the young officer. “I don’t want to talk about this…to him at least. Is there anyway I can just go and do the ID already…please…” She chokes out stepping out of the rain into the front of the station.

Howie nods sadly, “Sure thing ma’am. I’ll make sure the others know not to patronize you. I understand completely.”

Jasmine gulps and nods, “Thank you.” She lets out a small smile, watching the officer walk to the back of the station to set things up for her.

Sighing softly, she looks around the quiet station, seeing most of the desks empty at this time. In the back of the station, she can see a few cops shuffle around paperwork and taking incoming calls quietly. Her eyes roam around the station as she nervously shakes her leg in anxiety. She didn’t want to be here, every part of her told her no, that the last she needed to see was what could be her child’s body. She didn’t want to see that, she couldn’t fathom the horror of seeing her first born gone from her, out of arm’s way. She struggles to close her eyes as tears begin to cover it. Images of her son invaded each memory. She can see Nick’s first steps, to his first day of school, to even his first date at fourteen with a girl that lived around the area. Each memory suppressed so many emotions. She wanted to hold onto these precious memories for what its worth and never let them go. That could be the only thing she has left that will forever last to her.
She shifts in her seat as footsteps approach her. She could hear a faint whisper, calling out her name.

“Mrs. Carter? Ma’am?”

Jasmine opens her eyes to see Howie standing before her.

“Its all ready. Just go straight to the back, the first door to your left is where Winterland is there waiting for you at the morgue…”

Jasmine gulps and stands up holding Eliez in her hands tightly. “Yes…thank you.”

“Welcome…I can stay here with your daughter. It’ll only take a few minutes anyway.” Howie whispers out concerned.

Jasmine gulps and nods, wiping the tears close to spilling out of her eyes. “Yes. I think that would be better.” She whispers out almost monotone, the truth so close to her, it was beginning to gnaw at her. She carefully hands him her sleeping daughter and breaks into a weak smile, following the given directions to reach the cold brazen morgue before her. Stepping into the steel room, her eyes graze over an open cabinet where a clothed body was lying on as an older gray haired man with thick glasses lean over the cloth body and turns to her.

“Mrs. Carter…”

“Yes…?” She chokes out, making her way over to him, her eyes glued on the clothed figure before her.

Mr. Winterland gazes over at her, nodding. “Morning…sorry for the circumstances. I’m the officer that called you. Winterland. Are you ready?” He whispers out, his hands clutch the white blanket draped over the body.

Jasmine gulps, nodding: her eyes glued to the body curiously and hope egging her on.

“Very well.” And he proceeds to pull the cloth off the corpse hidden beneath it. Jasmine holds her breath, her nerves at the breaking point as she gazes over at the sick white matted flesh and dry parch lips from the corpse. Gasping, she begins to feel faint as she cups her mouth. “Oh God…” She stumbles back and the last thing she recalls seeing before passing out was Winterland gasping at her direction.
~**~

**~To Be Continued…~**