So that’s why God invented Garbage Bags and Backpacks
I sat there and watched as Nick meticulously packed up his stuff. I have no idea why I used the word meticulous… unless of course it means to throw things around the room in total disorder and chaos. Truth is I just wanted to use a big word and that one was the first thing that popped into my head. I have no freaking idea what it means.
Anyway, he was making a mess and there I sat watching him as if Nick packing was a new extreme sport. I still felt bad for asking him to leave, not necessarily asking him to go, but more the way I did it.
That day, he came back a little late (of course) and said he had already found a place to stay. Paris told him that he could stay with her and her sister until he got a place of his own so as soon as he could he’d be out of my hair…what little I had left of it. Smartass!
I saw the looks on both Howie and Kevin’s faces when he mentioned living with his girlfriend. I swear Kevin must have opened his mouth to say something about it ten times in the span of a few minutes but decided against it. We all knew that it wasn’t going to be a good thing. Hopefully he won’t take too long to get a place of his own though.
“You need any help?”
He looked over at me as he threw some of his boxers into a garbage bag. Yes I said garbage bag. This kid has money and yet not one single suitcase to his name. The only ones he ever used were Kevin’s hand me downs and that’s only because Kevin would scream at him about not having a set of his own luggage.
“How can you travel as much as you do and not own a set of luggage? I mean not even a carry on?”
“That’s why God invented garbage bags and backpacks AJ”
“What?”
“I said…”
“I know that you said, I heard you, I was just whatting because it made no sense.”
“Whatting is not a word.”
“Gee thanks Nick, I forgot you are a walking thesaurus...or should I say thersouiosnesslessly.” He gave me the finger but I was quite satisfied with my witty comeback.
“And no, I don’t need any help, but if you would be so kind to toss me over that blanket I would appreciate it.”
I grabbed the blanket that some fan had made him and threw it over his way. I was amazed at how much junk we had in this place from the fans. They would be so proud to know we actually use a lot of the shit they gave to us. Now if only one of them would throw a set of luggage on stage we’d be in business.
“Nick, are you sure it’s a good idea to live with Paris?”
He looked over at me as he was balling his blanket into one of his garbage bags. Somewhere I’m sure Kevin suddenly felt compelled to roll his eyes just because of the way Nicky was folding his stuff. Not folding but…balling.
“Seems like I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Why don’t you?”
“Because apparently I am not wanted here.” I shook my head at the little drama queen, but instantly felt guilty. Damn him!
“Nick, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to ask you the way I did.”
“AJ, it’s really all good, I’m just saying don’t throw my ass out and then object to where I choose to live.” Okay he had a good point.
“I know that Nicky, but…it’s not like you have to live with someone. Hell if you wanted to buy a house right now on the spot you could. Just be careful.” But I had a good point too.
“I love Paris man; I really think she may be the one.”
“Just remember what it was like for you when you lived with Mandy.”
His entire demeanor changed with that one word. “She was different. We were both young and retarded.”
Okay AJ don’t say what you’re thinking…for the love of God…
“Just be careful Kaos, I mean…you tend to jump into things head first without thinking about them.” Good boy AJ.
“Like you don’t?” He was getting defensive.
“I didn’t say I don’t…we are talking about you.”
“NO, you are talking about me, would you feel better if Howie was here? I know you much rather talk about me to him than me.”
Such a smartass this kid, I swear to God. I decided to just drop it, what’s the sense of fighting right now anyway? Instead I grabbed his guitar and started strumming on it as he continued to pack his stuff into bags.
“You know kid; you have gotten pretty good on this thing.” I figured I’d offer him a nice compliment to make up for throwing him out on the street, although I was throwing him out to one of the richest girls in the universe, who was also hot as hell. Why do I feel bad again?
“Thanks AJ.” He smiled up at me, “And when are you going to stop calling me kid?”
“When you stop acting like one all the damn time?”
“Did you ever return that coloring book to Baylee?” He raised his eyebrow and smirked at me after he asked that question.
“Oh, so what? I stole it for you to play with!”
“Riiiight, sure you did.”
“And no, Brian told me I could keep it.” Not that I would color on it anymore though… just wanted to make that clear.
“You don’t have to worry about me AJ; I’m not just jumping into things. I actually put a lot of thought into it before I said yes to moving in with her and like I said, it’s only temporary.”
“Okay Nick, it’s just that…”
“I know…you worry. You all think I’m this stupid dumbass that can’t do anything right.”
“Nick, that’s not true dude. It’s just that you are naïve as all hell at least when it comes to some things.”
“Yeah, like me thinking it was okay to live with you.” Again with the guilt complex.
“Quit it kid.” And lucky for me I was saved by the bell…doorbell that is. Yeah, that was corny even for me.
“Well you gonna get it or what?” He asked me after I just sat there for a few seconds and gave the person another chance to ring.
I got up and ran to the door and there was Howie, “I was surprised it was locked.” He said as I greeted him.
“That’s not me, that’s the bonehead in there…you know the one who is packing using garbage bags.”
“I HEARD THAT!” He screamed from his bedroom and I couldn’t help but smile. I’m going to miss the little guy. I was already regretting asking him to leave. Now that I’d have the place to myself, I was sure I’d be lonely. Nick and I had so much in common and would stay up till all hours of the night talking about everything under the sun. Weird how you take little things like that for granted. Maybe he was my soul mate after all…oh those psycho fans who wanted us to be gay would be oh so happy! I need help…badly.
Howie looked over at the doorway and then mouthed the words, ‘how is he?’ to me as he lugged in a few suitcases and placed them at my feet. I had to laugh when I saw them. I answered him by nodding my head and then grabbed one of the bags and closed the door.
Nick came walking out a few minutes later, “I thought I’d give you a few minutes to talk about me before I made an entrance, so did you get it out of your system?”
Howie made his trademark, give me a break look, “No, not quite yet. I was just going to go on about what a sarcastic ass you are.”
“Are those for me or are you taking my place?”
Howie took a bag and handed it over to the blond who smiled in return. “Thanks Howard.”
“Not a problem Nicky how’s the packing coming along anyway?”
“It’s coming…slowly.”
“Do you need any help?”
“Nah, I have it under control, I’ll be inside. Don’t forget to whisper.” Howie and I both shook our heads at him but were also both relieved by the way he was joking around. Secretly I think he might be happy about leaving and surprisingly, that made me sad.
I sat across from AJ who of course took it upon himself to start smoking. I swear, he doesn’t do that until I am around him. They both live to annoy me. “What’s up D?”
I shrugged at him, truth was I was bored out of my mind and knew they’d both be home and of course I knew the Nicky wouldn’t have a thing to put his stuff in so I thought I’d drop in on the kiddies to see how they were doing. If they knew that Kevin, Brian and I called them that when they weren’t around I’m sure there would be hell to pay.
You know it was weird really but whenever we got full on into the swing of things, I found myself always wanting to be around these guys but that’s how I am with everything, I throw myself into work. When I was at home and working with my foundation, I could spend entire hours on the phone with my people going over every little detail, planning events, coming up with ideas and working on the websites even. Same with the business I started with my brother, sometimes I would get so into the business side of things, I would lose total track of time until he dragged my butt out of the office for the day and forced me to eat something.
When I was with these guys though, it didn’t feel like work. They were my second family and I just constantly needed to be around them. I am sure this will wear off in a few months but for now, I enjoy these guys even though they do make it their mission to get on my very last nerve.
“You want to order a pizza? Nick and I were going to do that.”
“Sure…sounds good to me.”
“NICK!!” AJ screamed so loud I actually jumped. Of course he found that really funny.
“WHAT?” Nick asked equally as loud.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT ON THE PIZZA?”
“I DON’T CARE…JUST NONE OF THOSE FISHY SHITTY, HAIRY TYPE THINGS”
AJ turned towards me, “Fishy, shitty, hairy typed things?”
“He means anchovies.”
“Oh…ewww…EWWW LIKE I WOULD ORDER THOSE!”
“WHATEVER YOU WANT DUDE.”
“Your neighbors must love you guys. Do you always just randomly scream to each other? I mean he’s only in the next room why don’t you just go in and talk to him?”
“HOWIE THINKS I SHOULD COME IN THERE!”
“WHY? DOES HE WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME TO HIMSELF?”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head as they continued their screaming conversation, “NO HE THINKS WE ARE BEING TOO LOUD!”
“WHO? US? THAT’S INSANE!!”
“YEAH…I KNOW DUDE!”
Nick finally walked back into the room and I shook my head at him, those two were something else…
“SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?” He screamed just as loud as before and then smirked at me. “YOU KNOW AJ I THINK WE SHOULD TALK LIKE THIS FROM NOW ON. MAYBE EVEN THROUGHOUT THE NEW ALBUM!!!”
“WHAT A GREAT IDEA NICKOLAS…YOU ARE A GENIUS!” Of course AJ had to do the same. Kids, I swear.
Once they were sure they had accomplished the task of annoying me, they both high fived, Nick plopping down next to me and grabbing my neck in a hug to kiss my cheek and AJ once again smoking.
“Nick, get off of me!”
“You know you love me Howie.”
“Yeah whatever…so how’s the packing coming?”
“Slowly, I have a lot of shit. I never realized I had so much shit until now. I really need to stop moving and just stay somewhere until I die.”
“I can’t see you ever doing that Nicky.”
“What? Settle down?” I nodded at him not sure if I had managed to offend him again. It seems like I can do it without even trying nowadays. Luckily by the smile on his face, I figured I was safe. “Yeah, I can’t see me doing that either. Ah well, maybe I’ll just hire someone to move me next time.”
“Why didn’t you do that this time?”
“Because I didn’t think I had this much shit…God Howie don’t you pay attention?”
“No, I’m happy to say when you speak I hear the theme song to Bonanza.”
“Did you hear that AJ? He’s so mean to me but everyone thinks he’s so nice. And what the fuck is Bonanza?”
“It’s an old show Nicky, way before your time and in fact way before my time too.”
“About?”
“Cowboys.”
“Okay then…you’re so weird Howie.”
“I am not sure what to say to that coming from you.” He stuck his tongue out at me, he’s such a kid.
“I’m going to go pack some more, let me know when the pizza guy gets here.”
“Why, are you actually going to pay?” AJ asked with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
“Yeah, I’ll pay I guess why not? Let me kick his ass out and then have him pay for his last meal with me.”
“You are going to milk this for all its worth aren’t you Carter?”
“AJ, you have no idea.”
“Uh oh…” I decided to add since I felt left out of the conversation.
Once he left I turned back to AJ who had happily stopped smoking long enough to offer me a Coke. “So what are you going to do once he leaves? It seems like the house will be very quiet without Nicky in it.”
“Yes it will be and I don’t know D. To be honest, I’m starting to have second thoughts about living alone.”
“You could always change your mind and ask him to stay.”
He gave me this look and then huffed as he smiled. I knew what he was thinking, why would you try so hard to get me to make him leave and then ask me to have him stay? Make up your mind Howard and he would be right. I kind of was feeling the same way as him now that I saw Nicky actually packing up his bags. Maybe that was a mistake. I could tell that they probably got along really well together and now that he was leaving AJ would be alone and worse yet, Nick would be with Paris.
“I think it’s probably too late for that, besides the kid seems very happy to be leaving my boring ass.”
“I think he needs a boring ass to hang around with though.”
“Yeah, me too but I don’t see him staying; besides some of those garbage bags are already packed.”
“You could maybe ask him AJ.”
“I could…”
“You should.”
He nodded but then instead of making a move to go talk to Nicky he just lit up another cigarette. Ah well, I tried I guess.
Now that I was alone, I let go of my fake happy self and once again felt a pang of worry in my stomach. I looked all around my room, full of cluttered things and couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. I still couldn’t believe I was being kicked out. I never thought any of them would ever kick me out of their house. It was my one safety net, to know that no matter what, I always had them to fall back on. This made me realize maybe I was wrong.
I mean it’s not like he even thought about it himself, they all did. They all sat together and collectively agreed that I was such a horrible person AJ should be nowhere near me. When did that happen? When did I become that person no one wants to be around?
Sighing, I continued to place my junk in all the garbage bags I had thrown all over the place. Howie’s luggage still sat in the corner, for some reason I wanted to put off using it if I could.
And do I really want to live with Paris? I didn’t tell the guys this but she just about grimaced when I asked her if I could stay, she made me feel like I was anything but wanted. That maybe by me being there with her, I would hinder her ‘socialite’ image in some way. And forget about her sister, she hated the idea, I mean they full on argued about it while I sat in the living room and pretended not to hear what was being said.
“He’s such a fucking loser Paris, I don’t want him here.”
“Nicky it’s only for a little while.”
“Why? God can’t he stay with a friend or something?”
It went on and on like that and not once did Paris ever defend me, not once did she say, “He isn’t a loser, he’s my boyfriend and I love him.” It was like she was silently agreeing with every word her sister said while I just sat there unsure of what to do.
I know I’m an adult, I know it’s not like I’m this poor college kid who has no money and if my girlfriend doesn’t allow me to stay with her I’ll end up in a cardboard box or anything but for me, the cardboard box was more of an analogy to my sanity. I can’t live alone, I just can’t do it.
I have done it many times and every time has resulted in me having near nervous breakdowns and anxiety attacks. I have far too much on my mind at all times to enjoy the idea of solitude. I’m sure for most people they would love the idea, for me it’s a nightmare.
My stomach turned and I swear I had to vomit just from nerves but I was not going to show them that. No way, if they are going to kick my ass out the last thing I want to do is let them know it bothers me. See? I knew I should have just stayed at Tommy Lee’s that very first night. Then I wouldn’t be having these problems.
The thought briefly occurred to me that maybe Tommy’s place was still up for grabs. Why hadn’t I thought about that earlier? Maybe I could call him and see if it’s still available for me to live there for a bit. Yes, that would mean me being all alone but maybe I could call Bean and invite him to hang with me in LA. I mean it’s not like the guy does anything else right? I could easily get Bean a ticket here from wherever the hell he’s been being a bum. Like he would say no to staying at Tommy freaking Lee’s house?
Suddenly I felt like I had been given some kind of reprieve. This way I wouldn’t agitate my girlfriend or her horrid sister and most importantly I would be out of AJ’s hair. I’m sure if it was up to them, they’d want me all the way in Tampa or something. The farther the better…damn I hate when I get like this. I get so freaking paranoid sometimes and it really sucks monkey’s balls.
I looked around my room for my cell phone and when I couldn’t find it, I secretly prayed that it wasn’t in the living room. Don’t walk out that door until you know what the hell you are doing, because naturally I’d have to create some kind of story to explain why the sudden change in living arrangements. Maybe Paris was going away at the last minute…no, that wouldn’t work because we are together too often and they would probably get suspicious about that one. Oh okay I know…Tommy just happened to call me and invite me to stay at his place. I mean he’s Tommy Freaking Lee, how can I say no to him? He practically begged me to watch his house for him and after Paris cried for a few hours she finally understood… so that’s why I’m changing my plans but no worries dude, I still will be leaving so the ‘thank God Nick is gone’ party you probably have scheduled can go on as planned.
“Score one for me.” I said and smiled when I found my phone lying under a pile of laundry. I was just about to set my plan into motion when there was a light knock at my door.
I placed the phone down and rolled my eyes, okay Nick time to put the happy face back on. “PIZZA?” I decided to pick up the screaming conversation from earlier. Hey it managed to annoy Howie so that was enough proof for me.
“Not quite dude…” AJ said as he entered and then shut the door behind him. Suddenly I felt like maybe he was going to tell me I wasn’t packing quite fast enough for his liking and if I’m not done in an hour he’d just randomly start throwing my stuff out the window.
“S’up?”
“You haven’t gotten any farther have you?” He asked me in a half laugh as he sat down on my bed.
“Nope I have not…actually I was just about to return a call from Tommy.”
“Oh, sorry…you want me to come back?”
I contemplated this briefly, did I want him to leave so I could set my plan into motion or did I want him to stay because at the moment I was feeling anxious and needed company?
“Nah, it’s cool…”
“Okay.” And there he just sat staring at me, it was weird….but then again this is AJ, he IS weird.
“Is Howie that boring that you wanted to come in and watch me pack up my stuff? I mean I know the guy is dull but seriously AJ…”
He laughed and then bit on his bottom lip, “Kaos, I was wondering if…well…you’ll probably kill me but…”
“AJ I’m packing as fast as I can… seriously dude. I promise I’ll be out of here in an hour, I mean Paris won’t be home for another couple of hours but I’m sure I could find something to occupy my time. I mean if you want I can even skip the pizza…”
“What?” He seemed very surprised by what I had said but to me it seemed the most natural progression to this story. “Do you think I would really come in here and ask you to pack faster dude?”
“I don’t know…I guess not…I was only kidding. So, what’s really up then? Why would I kill you?”
“You weren’t kidding…you were serious. You actually thought I’d come in here and tell you that you weren’t packing fast enough. That’s un fucken believable to me.”
Okay Nick don’t lose your temper, remember not to show your emotions…no matter what you do, just smile and let it slide off your back. “Well I used to think you kicking me out of your house would have been un fucken believable too but here we are.” Dammit Nick! Ugh, if I could have slapped myself I would have.
He looked at me with the weirdest expression I have ever seen on his face. I swear it was a mix of anger, pity and lust. The lust part is the one that freaked me out, but the pity part just made me mad.
“I’m sorry Nick.” Okay I wasn’t expecting that. I really thought we were about to have a huge blow out that would have Howie coming in and playing peacemaker and an eventual call to Kevin in which we would be lectured tirelessly about self control and the art of keeping one’s hands to oneself.
I let out a breath, “Don’t be, there’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“Yes there is, I don’t want you to leave.”
“What?” And I really wasn’t expecting that.
“Nick, I was in a bad mood that day and it just kind of came out and yes we all did talk about it, but it’s not you that was the issue, it’s me.”
“Oh God again with the it’s not you it’s me thing.”
“Let me finish.”
“Fine…”
“I am just not completely stable Nicky and sometimes when you come home drunk and I have to smell the alcohol on your breath, it makes me want to drink again. That’s what the issue is.”
Suddenly I felt horrible, even more terrible then I did before. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“I don’t know. I guess because it’s not your problem and I wasn’t about to ask you to not drink because I can’t handle it.”
“But AJ, if I knew about it I wouldn’t drink…okay not true, I’d still drink but I wouldn’t come home until I was sober. I love you man and I’d never want to do that to you. I’m really sorry.”
He put his head down and nodded, “I am too… now would you please stay?”
“You really want me to stay here? I mean what about Howie and Kevin?”
“What about them?”
“Don’t they want you to not be around me?”
“No Nick….Howie wants you to stay too.”
I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders, I can’t even explain how much these guys meant to me, and how every little thing they said or did sat in my heart. “I’m not sure Paris will be happy about that though. She really had her heart set on me moving in with her.” Lying is bad, I know…shut up.
“Well, maybe just tell her you’re not ready for the next step yet.”
“She baked me a cake and everything.”
“She bakes?”
“Well, she tries.”
“Dude, if you still want to go live with her go…I just am saying I would very much like it if you stayed here. I would miss my little buddy.”
“I’ll talk to her AJ…” I smiled at him, “So now I have to unpack all these garbage bags?”
“You could always just dump them out; I mean that’s how your room looked before hand anyway.”
I nodded, “Good point.” And then took the bag I had been packing and turned it upside down as all the contents fell all over the floor.
He gave me a thumbs up and turned to leave the room, “AJ…”
He turned around, “Yes?”
I felt compelled to tell him I loved him, I say that to the guys way too much, at least that’s what they always tell me. So I said the next best thing, “What kind of pizza are we getting?”
Hope you enjoy and as always...thanks for reading :O) See ya next Monday hopefully lol
