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Chapter 15: Suicide




AJ’s POV


I just kept running. I didn’t know where I was going because of the tears that were blinding my eyesight. All I knew that I had to get away from there. From her. Everytime I saw her, I was reminded of all the things that she’s done in the past. All of the things that she has done that had hurt me. But, I was always there for her. No matter what she did to me, I was always there. Everytime one of her new boyfriends screwed her over I was there to pick up the pieces. This time, I won’t do it. I won’t. If she gets screwed, it’s her problem. I warned her.


When I stopped, I looked around to see where I was. It looked like some kind of pond or something. It was probably one of those manmade ponds that the city put in the middle of a park. Oh, well. It’s not like I’m going back to the hospital anyway.


I leaned on a wooden bridge and looked out over the park. “ Man, my life is so fucking screwed up.” I said to no one in particular.


Just then, my pants started ringing. I took out my cell phone as I cursed myself. Why did I have to bring it? I looked at the caller ID to see who it was. Just my luck.


“ Hello.”


“ AJ?”


“ What the fuck do you want?” I said my anger getting the best of me.


“ Are you okay?”


“ My former best friend just told me that she wanted to fuck Nick. She would have gone through with it if I hadn’t been there. She basically told me that she has no feelings for me. I’m just peachy. How are you doing?”


“ AJ, knock it off. She isn’t herself right now. She doesn’t remember anything.”


“ Bullshit, Kevin. She remembers the fight. She remembers everything. Don’t go taking her side on me, Kev.”


“ She’s my sister AJ! What do you want me to do? I can’t just go in and tell her she’s wrong.”


“ What am I going to do? I love her Kevin. I can’t lose her.” I said letting my emotions get the best of me.


“ You can come back and apologize.” Kevin said.


“ I can’t. I can’t go back there and pretend that she didn’t just break my heart back there. I swear I could have heard my heart shattering the second she told me that she liked kissing Nick.”


“ What’s wrong with Nick?”


“ He’s not me. That’s what’s wrong. All these years I have seen her go through relationships with guys. I’ve seen her get abused, and raped, and screwed over. They used her Kev.”


“ I know. I remember just as well as you do.”


“ I don’t think I can bear seeing her have a relationship with Nick. It should be me.”


“ I know it should. She has to make her own decision, AJ. If she doesn’t, she’s never going to learn if she doesn’t.”


“ I don’t think I can take much more of this. I can’t go on. I honestly don’t think I can go on.”


“ AJ, don’t do anything stupid.”


“ Like anyone would miss me.”


“ Don’t think like that. You’re scaring me.”


“ Maybe it’s the truth.”


“ No it’s not AJ. You can’t be serious.”


I just broke down. “ Why did God do this to me. Why?”


“ I don’t know, Aje. He didn’t do this on purpose.”


“ I finally find someone, and He takes her away from me.”


“ She’s not gone, Aje. She loves you.”


“ That was before the accident. Now, she wants me to sit back and watch her fuck Nick. I don’t think so.”


“ Then, do something about it. Don’t just sit there and let her get away.”


“ What do I do. It seems as though she’s made up her mind.”


“ She didn’t make up her mind, Aje. She was just telling you how she felt at the time. Maybe she just had physical feelings for Nick. Maybe he caught her at the right time. Listen, Aje. I know my sister, and she had no intention of hurting you. None what so ever. She loved you. Nothing is going to change that. You just have to let her be herself. You have to give her time to heal. Give her time to realize what she feels. Just give her time.”


“ Like that’s going to make a difference.”


“ You never know. Just come back here, and we can work this out. We’ll get through this.”


“ Why are you helping me?”


“ Remember when you helped me talk to her again? You made me realize that I was losing so much by fighting with her. It’s my turn now to repay your favor. I want to make you realize that you two are meant for each other. If you keep fighting, you’re going to lose so much. I don’t want to see you guys hate each other. It’s not worth it.”


“ I guess you’re right.”


“ So, are you coming back?”


“ Yeah, I’m coming back.”


“ Good. I’ll see you back here.”


“ Hey, Kev?”


“ Yeah?”


“ Thanks.”


“ It’s the least I can do. Now, get your ass back here.”


“ Yes sir.”