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Chapter 7




You might be one person in the world, but you might be the world to one person.






AJ walked into Anna’s room dreading what he would find. She lay in the bed with cuts and scratches on her face and arms. She had a cast on her left arm. He walked over to the side of her bed and broke down. He knew that he shouldn’t be crying in front of her, but he had to. He couldn’t take it anymore. He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore.


He wiped the tears and said, ‘ pull yourself together Mclean. She needs you.”


He began, “ Okay. I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you, and walking away from the fight. the truth is, you were right. I always run away. You were right in everything that you said.


“ When I left, all I could think was ‘what did I do?’ I thought I screwed up totally. You know? Knowing you, you probably thought the same thing. You were probably blaming yourself just as much as I was.


“ You know, sometimes I think we’re too alike for our own good. We yell and scream. We pick fights just to piss each other off. We pick each other apart thinking it will hurt the other. In all truth, we end up hurting ourselves. All the flaws we claimed the other had, we had ourselves. So, in all reality, we were tearing ourselves apart the same time.


“ We end up accepting each others flaws, and forgiving ourselves. We know when to pry, or when not to pry. Hell, sometimes we can flirt ourselves to death. But, we’re just like that, I guess.


He thought for a couple of minutes and said, ‘ They say that everything happens for a reason. I’m trying to figure out why this happened. If this didn’t happen, I know for a fact that we wouldn’t be talking to each other. I would have gotten drunk again, and you would be sulking at Howie’s. It’s just how we are. We can both be stubborn sometimes. Too stubborn to admit when we’re wrong, but the first to say we’re right.


“ Also, maybe someone was trying to show me how much I love you, how much I miss you. Make me realize that I’ve taken you for granted. So many times it happened. I would get hurt, and I would assume you would be there. You were always there.


“ When Howie called me and told me what happened, I couldn’t believe it. Just an hour earlier you had the guts to tell me to leave. To never come back. By the way, that took guts. I owe you one. Anyway, now I’m sitting here pouring my heart out to you, and you don’t even know it.


“ I thought I had lost you there for a couple of hours. I thought I lost both of you. There was no word on either one of you for a long time. A couple of hours at least. I literally freaked. I punched the wall and freaked. I know you would have loved to see that.


“ I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re a true friend. Sometimes, I wonder if there’s something more. When we flirt, it seems like it’s for real. Right now, I look at you and wonder if there could be something between us, or if there already is. I’d love it if it were true. Some days I’d pray that you would say ‘I love you’, just so I could stop the bullshit that was happening around me. I’ve gone through so many girlfriends it’s not even funny. I just want to find the right person for me. You know? Sometimes I think that there will never be anyone for me. It gets frustrating when they date you for your money and not you. I’m 25; I’ve got millions upon millions of dollars and twice as many fans. God, you’d think that I would be married and happy by now. No, I’m stuck looking and looking for the one person who will see beyond the money and fame. Even if I do find someone like that, I always lose them. They were lying from the beginning and leave you after they get what they want. That’s why I stuck with one-night stands. You leave them anyway. You leave them before they can leave you. That way, you get no broken hearts.


“ It’s gets lonely being by yourself. You have no one to go to when you’re not feeling well. You have no one to call on the road except your mom. You have to walk on the beach by yourself. I think that was why I brought a girl home every night. You’d think that you’d never be lonely. You have a different girl each night. You get laid every night. What a life, right? You still end up lonely in the end.


“ Some days I only get out of bed because of you. You are the reason that I’m alive today. You really saved my life. I’ve never told anyone this, but you’re unconscious, so what’s the harm, right? It was about a year ago. I was so screwed up. It seemed like the guys were nagging on me 24/7. Nicole had just left me. To sum it all up, I felt like total shit, and I felt completely and utterly alone. Well, one night I decided to end it all. End all the drinking, the loneliness, and the heartache. I had the pills ready; I had them in my hand. I thought of you right before I swallowed them. I spit them out because I couldn’t bear to leave you. I broke down crying, and then you knocked on the door. I didn’t answer at first and I think I scared you. I think you knew I would try something. Anyway, I answered so you would stop worrying and I came to them door. I shut it behind me as I came out. You asked me what was wrong. I told you that it was about Nicole. You knew I was lying, but you didn’t push it. You took me to your room. I fell asleep in your room that night. The next morning when I went to my room to change, I threw every last one of the pills away. No one ever found out. Not even you. I’m still surprised. I mean, you probably suspected it, but you never said anything.


“ A couple days later I was out with Howie. Somehow, the conversation came to you and me. He said something to me that I’ll remember forever. He said, ‘ falling in love with Anna is inevitable, J. One of these days you’ll realize it. You’ll be head over heels in love with that girl.’


“ At the time, I laughed it off. Now, I’m not sure. There were somedays I’d think back on his words and wonder how the hell he knew. Other days, I would hate you so much that I would go to him, laugh in his face, and tell him how wrong he was. Now, right now, I want to ask him how he knew. Ever since this afternoon, I’ve been thinking about the possibility that I really was jealous at Nick. About everything I’ve said tonight. If he were here right now, I’d tell him, ‘ yeah, you were right.’


“ Anna, I think that I have finally realized that I’ve fallen ‘head over heels in love with that girl.’ I think I’ve fallen in love with you Anna.”