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CHAPTER 4


To dream of the person you would like to be is a waste of the person you are.






They arrived at the club before it got crowded. They got in without a problem because they were the Backstreet Boys. They could do whatever they wanted. They got a table in the back and A.J. offered to get the drinks.


“Katie, what would you like?”


“ Um, I’ll just have a water.” Said Katie.


“ You sure?” asked Nick.


“ Yeah, I’m sure.” Said Katie nodding her head.


Nick looked at her apprehensively and said, “ Okay. Aje, I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.”


“ Okay, I’ll be right back.” A.J. said before taking off.




“ So, Katie why don’t you drink?”


“ It’s a really long story.”


He spread out his arms and said, “ Does it look like I’m going anywhere?”


“ Can we wait until A.J. gets back?”


He smiled and said, “ Sure.”




A.J. came back with the drinks in tow. As he handed them out, Nick started to get anxious.


A.J. noticed and said, “ what’s gotten into you Carter?”


“ Oh, nothing. I’m just waiting.”


“Waiting for what? Some hot chick to come and sweep you off your feet?” asked A.J. with a grin.


Katie burst out laughing and said, “ No, he’s waiting for me to tell him why I don’t drink. I don’t know why he’s so anxious. It’s nothing important.”


“ Well, hey. Share the news.” Said A.J. getting comfortable for the explanation.


She looked around nervously and said, “ Well, here goes nothing. I don’t drink because…because it tore my family apart. My father was an alcoholic and…and he abused me. Verbal and physical abuse. It tore my family apart, so I swore that I would never end up like my father. He died when I was 13. He was drunk and got into a car accident. He also killed another person. I never forgave him for what he did.”


“ I’m sorry Katie.” Said A.J.


“ Yeah we had no idea.” Said Nick.


“ No one did. Not even my mother. I told her many times that he abused me, but she never listened. She was just ignorant to the fact that her daughter was being beaten by the man she loved. She fixed it by working in the city more often, and eventually she never came home. She ran off to California with a guy she was having an affair with.”


“ So what happened to you?” asked Nick.


“ My older brother took care of me until he died.”


“ How’d he die? If you don’t mind me asking.” Asked A.J.


“ He was in a car accident. A drunk driver killed him. From what I have witnessed, alcohol only kills. It tears families apart. It kills innocent victims.” Said Katie.



“ I didn’t think that kind of shit happened.” Said A.J.


“ It happens all the time, Alex. It happens all the time.” She said. She couldn’t look into either one of their eyes. She thought that now that they know the truth, they couldn’t be interested in her.


“ Well, how did you keep up with your dancing? And how did you end up in New York?” Asked Nick.


“ Dancing was my only escape. When I danced, I forgot about my doomed family, or lack there of. I moved to New York to pursue my dreams. I wanted to dance. I wanted to make my brother proud. He always knew that I would succeed. So, after he died, I came here to look for an audition. And here I am now.”


“ How long have you been here?” asked Nick.


“ I have been here for six months.” Said Katie.


“ Wow, that’s it? When did your brother die?” asked A.J.


“ Seven moths ago.” Said Katie.


“ You’ve had a tough life, Katie. I’m surprised your still here right now.” Said Nick.


“ Yeah, I’m very surprised my dad didn’t kill me a long time ago.”


“ You don’t blame yourself for what happened, do you?” asked A.J.


“ Why do you ask?”


“ Because I blamed myself after my dad left. I mean I didn’t when I was younger, because I didn’t know what was going on. But, when I got older, especially in my later teens, I blamed myself. That’s why I asked. Because I know how you feel.” Said A.J.


“ Like maybe there was something you could do to change what happened?” said Katie.


“ Yeah. I finally learned that I couldn’t change the past. I can only change the future.” Said A.J.


“ Um, I hate to interrupt, but I’m gonna go find someone to dance with. I can’t relate to any of this, so you guys just talk. I understand. It’s a personal thing. You can’t relate unless you’ve been there. So I’m gonna see you later.” Said Nick as he walked away.


“ Don’t you wish you could have changed the past?” asked Katie.


“ I wanted to so many times, but I don’t want to now. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had a different past. How about you?”


“ Sometimes I find that I still do. If I could change the past, my brother would still be here with me. I would have a family again.”


“ I hear what you’re saying, but I think today you just found five new brothers, or one at least. I’ll be here for you, Katie.”


“ That’s so sweet Alex. Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”


She got up and hugged him until someone knocked them over. Katie looked to see who it was and she knew she had to find out who it was. There was something about him that was intriguing.


A.J. helped her up and Katie said, “ I’m gonna go over there. Didn’t you come to look for some women?”


“ Oh, yeah. I did. See ya around.” Said A.J. as he walked off into the growing crowd.


Katie shook her head and laughed. Then, she remembered why she told A.J. to leave. She walked over to the bar and sat down next to the guy that ran into her.


She held out her hand and said, “ Hi, my name is Katie.”


He looked up at her and said, “ Hello, I’m Josh. Do you want a drink?”


“ No thanks. I don’t drink.”


“ Why not?”


“ It’s a rather long story.”


“ I see. You don’t want to get into it with me.”


“ No, it’s just, I’ll tell you later.”


“ Wow. We just met and now there’s a later. I’m starting to like you.”


“ Do you wanna dance?”


“ Sure, why not.”



They made their way out onto the dance floor and started to dance. Their dancing soon turned into grinding and they were both having fun. They soon had to take a break from all of the dancing. They sat down at the bar and caught their breath.


He asked, “ Where did you learn to dance like that? You were awesome.”


“ I’ve been dancing for 18 years. I dance professionally.”


“ I’m impressed.”


“ Thank you.”


“ Now, why don’t you drink?”


“ I’ll give you the shortened story. My dad was a drunk. He died in an accident killing another person. My mom ran away to California to get away from my dad. I lived with my brother until he died seven months ago. A drunk driver killed him. In short, I don’t drink because alcohol tears families apart.”


“ Wow. I didn’t know that kind of stuff really happened.”


“ No one seems to know.”


“ I’m sorry.”


“ Yeah, thanks.”


“ I don’t know what else to say.”


“ Well, don’t say anything.” She said as she leaned in to kiss him.


The kiss ended and he said, “ You want to come back to my place?”


“ No, but I would like your number.”


“ Sure.” He said as he took out a piece of paper and wrote down his name, address, and phone number.


“ I’ve had a lot of fun tonight, Josh. I’m just not that type of person. I have morals.”


“ I understand. It was worth a shot. I would love to get to know you better.”


“ I would too. I’ll be in Orlando for a little while, but why don’t you call me on my cell. We’ll talk sometime. Maybe I’ll tell you the whole story. It’s quite a dandy.”


“ I would love to hear it, if you wouldn’t mind telling me.”


“ Sure. Maybe some time.” She leaned down and kissed him. She said, “ a little something for the road.”


She walked off toward the table where A.J. and Nick were looking her way in awe. As soon as she sat down, she got an earful.


“ I’m hurt. You come with us and you hit on another guy.” Said Nick.


“ What can I say. You Backstreet Guys just don’t cut it.”


“ Ooh, she’s gonna get it.” Said Nick.


“ No, just wait. Remember she still hasn’t gotten that job.” Said A.J.


“ Come here Mr. Mclean. I’ll give you a little taste of my world.” She said.


“ I’ll be back Carter.” Said A.J.


“ Hey, what about me?” Nick whined.


“ Don’t worry, Carter. Yours is coming.” Said Katie as she walked off with A.J.



They were dancing on the dance floor as glitter rained down on them. Katie started grinding with A.J. and he couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned down and kissed her. They stopped dancing as she snaked her arms around his neck. They parted leaving Katie breathless.


“ That was unexpected.” Said Katie.


“ Yeah, it sure was. What do you say you come back to my house later.” Said A.J.


“ And do what?”


“ We could think of a few things.”


“ Oh I know you could.”


“ Hell yeah I could. It would involve a lot of this.”


“ A lot of what?”


“ This.” As he leaned down to kiss her again.


They parted and she said, “ take a number and get in line.” She walked away from him laughing.


“ Awe. Come on. You’re so not fair. Don’t get me turned on and then walk away. That’s just not fair.”


“ It’s a hell of a lot of fun, though.” She reached the table and said to Nick, “ It’s your turn now. I hope you’re ready for some fun, Carter.”


“ Hell, yeah. Bring it on.” Said Nick as he followed her.


They danced for awhile and she was having so much fun playing with their heads. They had no clue that she was just playing around with them. She didn’t have any intentions on going home with anyone tonight. They didn’t have to know that, though.


She looked up into Nick’s eyes and leaned in to kiss him. They were so close they could touch their noses. She suddenly pulled away and walked away laughing.


“ Katie, what’d you do that for?”


“ No reason. I’m just playing. Do you really want me to kiss you?”


“ Oh yeah.”


“ I suggest you take a number and get in line.” She said as she walked back to the table.


A.J. was flirting with some chic and Katie decided to do something about it. She slid into the booth next to A.J.


She slid her arm around him and put her other hand on his upper thigh. She said to A.J., “ Who’s this? I thought you’d wanna go home now. After all you offered.”


A.J. looked at her and then looked up at the girl standing next to him. He then looked back to Katie and gave her a ‘ what the hell are you doing’ look. She took that as an invitation and kissed him. She started roaming her hands up and down his body as the chic stood by and watched.


Katie pulled away and said to the girl, “ I believe he’s taken. He won’t need your services after all. He’ll give you a call when he needs you. Bye, now.”


A.J. looked like his favorite toy was taken away. He watched the girl walk away until he couldn’t see her anymore. He turned his attention to the two people who were laughing their heads off right next to him.


He looked at Katie and said, “ What did you do that for?”


“ You offered to take me home. I was accepting. Although, I don’t think you want to take me home anymore. I’m hurt.”


“ I wanted to take you home, but you declined.”


“ You bet your ass I declined. I know how you are Mclean. You are a lady’s man. Now, here’s my kind of man.” She said as she snaked her arms around Nick’s neck.


She straddled him and said, “ You want that kiss now?”


“ Hell, yeah.”


“What’s your number?”


“ I don’t have one.”


She leaned really close to him and said, “ I told you to get in line.”


“I did.”


“ Wrong line. That line was the hooker line. Not my line. Sorry.”


“ But…”


“ Nope. You screwed yourself over. Not my fault.” She got off of him and sat down in between the two guys.


Katie had A.J. laughing so hard he was crying. She said, “ What’s the matter?”


“ You’re funny as hell. You play us so bad. You lead us on and then you back off. You better get running girl.” Said A.J. as he looked at Nick.


She looked at the two guys and saw that they were closing in on her. She climbed under the table and ran out the door with them right on her heels. She reached the car and stopped to catch her breath. She turned around only to find Nick and A.J. closing in on her again. She didn’t know what to do.


She said, “ Okay, guys. This isn’t funny anymore.”


They thought she was playing around and continued their advance on her.


“ I mean it. You’re scaring me.” Panic evident in her voice.


A.J. stopped and said, “ Whoa, don’t freak out on us, here. We were just kidding.”


She looked at them and said, “ Don’t do that again. My dad use to do that. That slow creapy crawly stuff. You scared the shit out of me.”


“ Katie, we would never hurt you.” Said Nick.


“ Come here. We didn’t mean anything by it, honest.” A.J. said holding out his arms.


“ I know, but I got these awful flashbacks. It just scared me.” She said into his neck.


He rubbed her back and calmed her down. Nick put his hand on her shoulder and said, “ You are safe with us. We would never let anything happen to you.”


She looked at both of them, smiled, and said, “ Correction, Aje. I have two brothers.”


A.J. smiled and hugged her again. He said, “ Come on. Let’s go home.”


They got into his car and he took Katie to her apartment and told her he’d call the next day. Nick was going to call too. She got into her apartment and leaned her head against the door.


“What am I doing. I’m playing with fire. I’ve got to stop before I get hurt… Or I fall in love.”