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CHAPTER 8


The worst thing you could possibly do is worry about what you should have done.






The next morning, Katie got up at 4 am. She couldn’t sleep. She kept wondering if she made the right choice. She took a shower and got dressed in time for AJ to pick her up. They didn’t say anything in the car. They all met up at the airport and got seated on the plane. She ended up sitting next to AJ.


They were in the middle of the flight before she said anything to him, “ Look, did last night change our relationship?”


“ I don’t know. I know I’m more guarded around you.”


“ why? Just because I wouldn’t sleep with you doesn’t mean that I still don’t have feelings for you.”


“ Do you?”


She paused and said, “ That doesn’t matter. I made a decision last night that changed our relationship. I don’t know if it was a mistake, or if I made the right choice. Anyway. I made that choice. You and me have to live with that choice.”


“ I don’t have to live with it.”


She said, “ Stop being an asshole, AJ.” She sighed and asked, “ You know why I told you to back off last night?”


“ Why?”


“Because my father raped me. Are you happy?”


AJ blinked and said, “ I didn’t know.”


“ You weren’t suppose to know.”


“ Were you ever going to tell me?”


“ You didn’t need to know.”


“ Why not? If I had known, I never would have gone that far. I would have said, ‘okay’ and backed off.”


“ Yeah, well, that was exactly the reason that I didn’t tell you. I don’t want to be treated as a child who will break. I can make my own decisions.”


“ Yeah, but I wouldn’t have asked for an explanation.”


“ There doesn’t need to be an explanation.”


“So, what else did you lie to me about?”


“ Nothing AJ. Everything I told you was the truth.”


“ What else have you hidden from me?”


“ Nothing AJ. There is nothing that I haven’t told you, and there is nothing that Is a lie. Sadly it is all true.”


“ Yeah, right.” He said.


“ Don’t you think that I wish that everything I said was a lie? Don’t you think that I would love to have a family like yours?”


“ You don’t want a family like mine.”


“ At least you have a mother who cares about you. At least you don’t have a drunken asshole for a father. At least you have a father.” She said her voice raising a little.


“ My father is as much of an asshole as yours is. He left me. I don’t even remember him. How do you think that feels?”


“ Sometimes it is better not to remember. You know how many times I wish that I could forget the things he did, the things he said?” she paused and continued, “ Worst of all, I never felt like anyone cared. They never listened to me.” “ They never stopped him.” she said in almost a whisper.


He hugged her and said, “ You have no idea how much I care about you. I’ve listened to you, and I plan on listening in the future. Don’t ever think you are worthless because of something that asshole said. Please don’t. Because none of it was true. He did it to hurt you. He did it because he knew it affected you.”


“Are you saying that if I didn’t let it affect me, that he would have stopped?”


“ No, honey. I’m saying that he got pleasure out of hurting you. He had no right to do what he did. No right at all.” He said.


He held her at arm length and said, “ You are a beautiful, talented woman. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. You are strong for what you lived through. And although you have no family now, I promise that one day you will have a family of your own. You will raise them knowing that they never have to go through what you did. I will make sure that they don’t go through that. I’ll make sure that you don’t have to go through that again either. I would give my life for you.”


“ Thank you, Alex. You don’t know how much this means to me. I mean it.”


“ Does this mean that you’re not mad at me anymore?”


She smiled and said, “ I never was mad at you to begin with. I was confused, but not mad.”


“ Thank god. You mean so much to me. I didn’t want to lose you.”


“ You haven’t lost me yet. Just don’t get jealous when I start dating Josh, okay?”


“ I promise I’ll try.”