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“Don’t run off on us again, alright? I hate being driven around by Alex. He is more dangerous than a hurricane when it comes to driving.” Brian tried to lighten up the spirit, but he failed miserably. His younger friend nodded, then turned around and looked at him. The two of them were sitting on the porch swing, each with their own fears and pain locked up deep down inside of them.
“Frick..”
“Yeah?”
“What’s it like.. you know.. being a dad?”
Brian was surprised by the question, felt uncomfortable and unsure of how to answer. He knew Nick adored Baylee, and now that he knew how slim the chances were that Nick would ever have kids of his own, how could he be honest with him without shattering his world?
He cleared his throat. “Nick, maybe it’s not..” but his friend cut him off. “Tell me, Rok.”
“But..”
“Please.. tell me. I want to know.”
“It’s.. I’m not even sure I can describe it, Nick. It’s.. When Baylee came into this world, I was speechless... He was so beautiful, so perfect, so like his mother. I.. I guess you can say I felt..” his voice trailed off, silently cussing himself for the sentence he had began to speak.
“How Rok? How did you feel?”
Brian knew Nick would keep on asking him ‘til he gave in, so he had no other choice than to finish his sentence. “Complete..” he whispered, scared of Nick’s reaction. But his friend didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at the horizon, where the sun was getting itself ready to leave for the night.


“I wonder what’s going on out there..”
“Me too, Kev. It looks serious.”
“Come on you guys, stop spying on Frick and Frack.” A.J. said as he plomped down on the couch next to his brothers. “GUYS! Stop it..Geez..”
“You’re right, Jay.” Kevin sighed and rubbed his temples with closed eyes. “I’m beat.”
“Me too, Kev.”
A.J. and Kevin chuckled when they heard Howie repeat himself.

“We all are, D. I’ve never seen him like he was this afternoon..” Kevin’s voice trailed off, thinking back to earlier that day, when they had a meeting with Dr. Peterson. Without them saying a word, he knew the others were also thinking of the mental breakdown Nick had in the doctor’s office.
"Let's not go there." Howie sighed after a moment, shaking his head, trying to clear the image of Nick screaming and sobbing out of his mind. "God, I've never seen him so hysterical."
"Well, it's not exactly a normal situation D." AJ muttered, leaning back on the couch and crossing his arms behind his head with a muted sigh. Letting his eyes shut, he immediately found flashes of Nick before him; falling to the floor and letting out a scream that had sent chills rushing up his spine. He snapped his eyes back open, taking in a deep breath. "Jesus." He whispered.
"Never again." The eldest nodded, picturing the look he had seen in his youngest friend's eyes. The pain and fear that had held him captive and made him want nothing more that to scoop Nick into a hug and shelter him from everyone and everything.
"Let's hope it's never again." Mumbled Howie, rubbing a hand over his face with a small yawn. "Alright guys, I gotta crash. I'm beat." The Latino got to his feet, heading towards the stairs. "I'm with you on that." Kevin followed the younger man, a large yawn escaping from him. "Ditto." AJ agreed, rising to his feet.
"AJ, tell Frick and Frack we're hittin the sack, yeah?" AJ nodded, watching his older friends climb the stairs before walking over to the front door and poking his head out, immediately finding Nick and Brian sitting on the porch swing, talking.

"Hey fellas," Both men jumped at the quiet address and Nick almost fell off the seat, Brian having to grab him and hold him steady. "Smooth Kaos." AJ chuckled, rolling his eyes.
"Did you want something?" Nick huffed, a small smile tugging at his features. "Or are you just bugging us?"
"Both." The rebel shrugged. "Kev & D are going to bed. I'm headed there myself."
Brian frowned, squinting at his watch for a second. "Bed?" He echoed. "It's like, 10'o clock!"
"It's been a long day Brian." Nick said softly. "For everyone."
"What the kid said." AJ gestured to Nick before letting out a long sigh, "Besides, tomorrow is going to be an even longer day. I'll catch you two in the AM. Night."
"Night AJ."
"Night Bone."

Nick watched the door close to the front of his house before leaning back, his eyes taking in the stars above him. "Hey Frick?"
"Hmmm?" Brian smiled, manuvering Nick so the youth was half in his lap, a postion Nick hadn't taken since he was 15 or 16.
"About you being a dad, you know how you said it made you feel complete?" The older man let out a breath, nodding slowly as he brushed some of the hair out of Nick's eyes.
"Yeah. What about it?"
"Can you tell me how? You know? How you felt complete? In case," The blonde trailed off for a moment. "In case I never get to find out?"
"Nicky," Brian breathed, shaking his head slowly. "You've got to stop thinking that you're not going to beat this. I'm not going to tell you Frack because you'll get to experience it for yourself. And when you do, I want to be the first person you tell."
"You will be." Nick sighed. "I want to stay postive Bri. I do. I want to fight this and kick it in the ass. But it's just, I can't help thinking about all the things I might never get to really do."
"Like?"

"Get married?" Nick shrugged. "Have kids, see Jay, D & Kev have kids. Put out more albums, fix things with my family, win a damn grammy."
Brian couldn't help the laugh the slipped forward at the last comment, rolling his eyes slightly. "What? We should have won that last time! Seriously."
"Yeah, we should have Frack."
"But all that stuff Frick. All that and more. I want more! I'm 25 years old, I want more. I'm not done living my life yet but I also don't want to live it sick and weak cuz of all the treatments, you know?"

"Better than most people." Brian nodded. "I mean, the whole deal with my heart isn't cancer but I know how it is to only be able to half live your life. I thank God every chance that I get for letting me come this far." Brian sat up a little, looking down at his younger friend. "See Nicky, I know you'll make it out of this. If I can make it, so can you."
"You're a lot stronger than me Brian." Brian shook his head, "You keep saying you're not strong Nick but you are." The Kentuckian tapped gently on Nick's head. "You've got to get it in your mind that you can do this. I mean, there's got to be room to get the message in, there's not much in there in the first place." Nick half sat up, smacking Brian's hand away with a mock glare.

"Punk." He laughed, punching Brian lightly on the knee before settling back down as his friend simply chuckled.
"Seriously Nick, have some faith."
"Faith is kinda hard for me to find right now." Nick muttered, a frown appearing on his face.
"I know. But I've got enough for the both of us."
"I bet you do."
"Hey, don't knock my faith Carter." Brian drawled, messing gently with Nick's hair.
"I'm not." Nick yawned, his eyes drooping shut. "I just wish I had some for myself." He mumbled, his voice fading as sleep washed over him. "Do me a favor Frick?"
"Anything buddy."
"Pray for me?" The youth whispered, his breathing growing heavy as he slipped into an exhausted slumber. Brian looked down at his best friend and the request, a lump growing in his throat as he blinked harshly, trying to hold back his tears. Running his fingers through Nick's hair he let out a shaky breath, his blue eyes falling onto the stars above him.

"Heavenly Father," He began, his voice no more than a whisper. "I come to you in an hour of need. Watch over Nick. Help him be strong, help him to understand that we will be there every step of the way. And please, don't take him away from us yet. Just like you allowed me to stay, keep him with the ones who love him." Brian closed his eyes. "In your name I pray. Amen." A slight breeze blew around the pair and a smile appeared on Brian's face as he leaned into his best friend, "Thank you." He murmurred before falling into a much needed sleep.