Brian had tried to apporach the subject with each of his friends, coming away empty handed as the conversations continually swayed off into idle small talk. He had given up eventually, settling for the light banter but making a mental note to sit down and talk to each of his friends before the trip was over.
The night he had gotten home from A.J.'s, he had found Leighanne waiting up for him, her smile immediately falling away when she got a look at his bloodshot eyes. Breaking down once more, he had explained the entire situation to her. She had stayed quiet throughout the explanation, only speaking once she was sure he had finished.Gently but firmly, she had pointed out what he had done wrong, siding with Kevin's argument and asking him why he had thrown such a fit.
“I don't know if they'll ever forgive me Leigh.”
“You've got to try honey.”
“I know but the things I said...I was horrible.”
“You need to apologize Brian, you know you were wrong. Explain what happened, what was going through your mind when you said those things. They're your best friends, I'm sure they'll understand.”
“And this trip?”
“You have to go Bri. Kevin was right, this isn't about you, or me or Baylee. This is about Nick and right now, he's the one that needs you.”
“But-”
“Nick needs you Brian. Go. Go for as long as you need to. We'll be right here when you come back and they do have phones over there, don’t they?” she smiled.
A sad smile appeared on Brian’s face as nodded, then a picture of him and Nick that stood on the mantlepiece caught his eye. The good old days.. He let out a long sigh, scared that those days would never return, even if Nick would pull through. These last months had put such a strain on their friendship that he wondered if they’d ever be as close as they once were..
“Honey, is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No..”
“Then why are you biting your nails?”
“I am.. it’s just.. I don’t know..” Brian closed his eyes as he rubbed his face, trying to once again block out the thoughts that kept him awake so many nights, but they never stopped haunting him, day and night. Biting his nails was something he still did whenever he was upset. Leighanne always noticed, feeling something was wrong and he could never keep it from her since she read him like an open book.
“What is it, Brian?”
“I don’t think I can handle another disappointment, Leigh.. I can’t be there when she tells him there’s nothing she can do for him. I can’t..I’m not that strong.. I p-promised him he’d make it..I-I can’t face him when she tells him he won’t.. I-”, he tried to hold back the tears as a lump formed in his throat. “I can’t be there when he dies..”he choked out the last words as tears began to stream down his cheeks again, feeling guilty for even having the thought that his best friend might not pull through.
He had wanted to call them, but decided against it every single time. Kevin had sent him an
e-mail with the flight information and the announcement that a ticket would be waiting for him at the airport, but the underlying tone was cold, distant and business-like. Brian was scared that if he called him, he’d once again tell him not to bother joining them. Leave it up to Kevin to still send the information so he wouldn’t look like a jerk himself, but telling his cousin he was when he would still join them on this trip.
Nick.. More than anything he had wanted to talk to him, but knew it was a mission impossible since A.J. always answered the phone. Brian knew better than to sort things out with him over the phone, they’d end up arguing again since they’d keep up their attitude. Another disaster was the last thing the five of them needed right now.
Howie, he had never seen him that furious. At night he kept hearing him say he’d make sure that Nick wouldn’t have to put up with him ever again. He knew he meant every single word he said and would do whatever it took to protect Nick from whatever harm, so he figured it was best to keep a low profile around him, and certainly not try to call.
So he never called them. Instead he had talked to Leighanne about his fears, the feeling they were losing Nick, that flying overseas would only end up in another pointless visit to some doctor, a disappointment none of them would be able to handle. Leighanne had finally succeeded in convincing him to go, so now here he was, scared stiff and unsure of how to fix things with the others.
~~~~
After they had collected their luggage and Kevin went to rent a car, the others walked over to a waiting area, three of them plopping down in a black seat. A.J. walked up to the window with his hands stuffed in his pockets, slowly shaking his head. “It’s raining.” he muttered. “Scared your beard will run?” Nick commented as his eyes lit up like they used to in the old days. “No dumbass!” A.J. replied happy to hear such a remark coming from his friend. “It’s just.. Ugh.. Whatever!!”
”Looks like you were right, Nick.” Brian smiled, inside terrified that his comment would be ignored. “Ain’t I always?” Nick said as he gave Brian a genuine smile. “NO!” the other three men replied in unison, immediately causing a silence as they all felt uncomfortable with the situation.
Kevin returned about twenty minutes later, holding the carkeys in his right hand. Since the car wasn’t big enough to fit all of them and their luggage, A.J., Nick and Howie would take the car, and the cousins would take a cab to get them to the hotel they’d be staying in. It would be asking for trouble to put Howie or A.J. in the cab with Brian, and Nick should be able to lie down in the backseat, so this was the only way to get to the hotel without another fight happening. That is, if Kevin would be able to keep his temper down during the ride. After Kevin had given Howie the keys and gave Nick a quick hug, he and Brian walked over to one of the exits, not saying a word to each other.
As he stepped outside, he searched for a cab, walked over to the first green car with a ‘Taxi’-sign on the roof that caught his eye and turned his head to make sure Brian was still following him. The driver, a man in his forties, opened the trunk as he greeted the two cousins. “Goedemiddag heren, waar gaat de reis naartoe?” Brian and Kevin shot each other a look, both of them not having a clue what the kind man just said. The driver realised his mistake as he saw the confused the looks on their faces. “Sorry, you speak English?” he asked them. As they nodded he continued. “Sometimes I forget my customers don’t always speak Dutch. So, good afternoon gentlemen, where do you want me to take you?” he smiled as he put their luggage in the back of the car, then motioned for them to get in. Once they were situated, Kevin had a look at the confirmation of the hotel-reservation again, even though he had just told Howie where he was supposed to go. “The Golden Tulip Hotel, please.”
The driver looked at him through the rearview mirror. “The one at the Leuvehaven?” Kevin nodded, feeling a bit unsure of why he asked him. The driver noticed and smiled at him. “Just checking, since there are two other Tulip Hotels nearby. Alright, here we go.”
Not one word was spoken during the ride. Kevin pretended to be busy with reading hotel information and Brian just stared out of the window, feeling the tension grow by the second. The taxi driver noticed too, so he decided not to start a friendly conversation with his two costumers. Occassionally he glanced at the two, noticing that Kevin was no longer reading, but just staring at the page, and Brian was nervously biting his nails as he avoided to look at his cousin. He wondered what was going on, but knew better than to ask, so he just kept driving, hoping the tension wouldn’t lead to an explosion.
Just a few minutes later, they arrived at the hotel. Without saying a word, Brian got out and got his luggage while Kevin payed the driver. As they walked in, Hans leaned against his car for a second, slowly shaking his head. Being a taxi driver, sometimes was like being a psychologist. He heard the most heartbreaking and unnerving stories, but it had been a long time since he had felt such a tension in his cab. “Als dat maar goed gaat..” he whispered as he turned around and got back into the car.
In the lobby, the other three men were waiting for their arrival. Nick was fighting to keep his eyes open, A.J. and Howie were flipping through some magazines. Kevin greeted them, Brian silently put down his bags as he nervously shifted on his feet. He knew the moment for him to talk with the others would arrive soon, but he still was extremely unsure of what to tell them.
Kevin walked up to the desk, checked in the five of them and walked back up to the others who were watching his every move, doing everything they could to avoid Brian. Well, except for Nick who just wanted to get some sleep.
“So, I booked us three rooms and I figured it be best if someone would share a room with you, Nicky. Are you okay with that?” The youngest slowly nodded, knowing Kevin was right. If he’d get sick, he’d need someone to take care of him. He hated the fact that he couldn’t take care of himself completely, but at least he had four amazing friends to do so in his hours of need. “I’ll stay with you, if that’s alright with you.” Howie spoke up, shooting Brian a glare saying he never forgot the promise he made earlier about protecting Nick. “Sure, D.” Nick replied, just wanting to get this over with.
A.J. sort of felt relieved. Even though he’d do everything he did these last few months again in a heartbeat and never regretted taking care of his little brother, he was relieved that he’d get a break from all of that. He was so exhausted from spending nights in Nick’s bedroom, keeping an eye on him 24/7 that for a split second he looked forward to not having to do so. That feeling was immediately followed by immense guilt.
“Jay, you and me will share room 976, Nick and D have room 975 and Brian you’ll be staying in room 974.” Kevin rushed out, not wanting to share a room with his cousin. The tension on the way over to the hotel had been immense and he knew he’d explode if Brian would only say as much as one thing about the huge fight a few days earlier. The men nodded as he handed Howie and Brian the keycards. They slowly rose to their feet, Nick being helped by Kevin as Howie got his luggage.
Once they were at the ninth floor, they all walked up to their rooms. When he was in front of his, Brian opened the door and before he walked in, he glanced to his left and noticed his cousin, who was helping Nick to get into his room safely as Howie carried in their luggage, quickly turned his head so he wouldn’t have to look at him. “This is gonna be even harder than I thought..” Brian sighed as he walked in and slowly closed the door behind him.
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A/N: Some background info.
I have the guys staying at this hotel:
And this is one of the rooms:
I (Nijntje) spent a night there and believe me, it's NICE!
