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It wasn’t until 8.30 am the following morning that the five men all sat at one table, in the hotel’s private breakfast room. Four of them had a plate loaded with food, but none of them seemed to be hungry. Nick was staring at his hands, holding a cup of tea which was the only thing he thought he could keep down that morning. Kevin and Brian were talking, Howie was staring outside of the window and A.J. was in deep thought, drinking his coffee.

“Kev, what time do we have to be at the EMC again?”
“Half past one, Bri.”
“Do you know how to get there?”
“Rok, why do you even ask? Knowing Kev he’s checked that at least 10 times.”
“Smartass.”
“Well, I am right, ain’t I?”
“Yes Nick, I know how to get there. No, I only checked twice.”
“Yeah right.” A.J. smirked as he and Nick high-fived, knowing Nick was right.

“What are we gonna do til then?” Howie asked.
“Dunno. Nothing much for me. I’m exhausted.” Nick replied as he fought back a yawn.
“Are you feeling okay? What’s wrong? Are you feverish?”
“Kevin, you know that thing you get when you fly across continents... It’s called j-e-t-l-a-g. That’s what’s wrong.” The youngest rolled his eyes. “You don’t look so hot yourself.”
“Gee thanks..” Kevin too rolled his eyes.
“Don’t mention it.” Nick smirked as he got up. “If you guys don’t mind, I’m gonna head back to my room and crash.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“Sure Kev, maybe you can crash too. Again, you look like you need it.” Inside, Nick didn’t want him to come along, but he knew it was better to have someone around. Just in case.. “Ugh..” Kevin shook his head as he too got up. He got the key to his room out of his pocket and handed it to A.J. “Can anyone tell me why I put up with all this?”
“Because I’m irresistibly cute?” Nick replied as he gave Kevin a big wet kiss on the cheek, who shook his head, then wiped his cheek with his sleeve. “Sure Nick.. Let’s go. We’ll leave at twelve thirty guys and not a second later.”
“Sir yes sir!” A.J. saluted, which made the other three men chuckle at the sight of a blushing Kevin who quickly removed himself from the room, knowing he was delegating them again.

A.J. stared at his hands for a second before he got up.
“Alright, I think I’ll be.. going to my room for a bit.. maybe get some rest too, since I didn’t sleep much.”
“Or you’re going to do your nails..” Brian grinned as he had noticed him staring at his hands.
“Shut up..” A.J. smiled as he hit the Kentuckian over the head on his way out. “See ya..”

“I think-”
“We need to talk, D.”
Howie slowly got out of his seat and walked over to the window. He knew Brian was right, but was hesitant about talking to him. Not that he was still angry at him, he just.. He just didn’t want to, but knew he had no choice. His hands in his pockets, his head slowly hanging, he opened up to his friend. “I don’t want to hear your apology, Brian. I-”
“But-”
“I already know you’re sorry.” Howie softly said as he turned around to see Brian walking over to him, wearing a confused look on his face. Howie turned back around so he wouldn’t have to face him just yet. “I understand, Bri. Maybe I should’ve told you this earlier, maybe then I could’ve prevented all of the tension and stuff that has happened.”
“But-”
“I completely understand where you’re coming from Bri. When we heard that we were losing Caroline, I totally lost it. I yelled at my brother, my parents, saying it was their fault for not telling her to go see a doctor sooner. Ridiculous, I know. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. They were shocked over the things I said and the way I acted. You wouldn’t have recognized me, Brian. Seriously, I was like.. evil. The complete opposite of the Howie you know. When you started arguing about who was Nick’s best friend, I saw myself. And it scared me.
I should’ve spoken up, should’ve talked to you about it, but then I’d have no choice than to acknowledge my own behavior years ago. I couldn’t.. I was horrible back then, Bri. My parents, they were already in so much pain knowing they’d lose their daughter. I should’ve been there for them, instead of acting so-”

“Howie, it’s okay.. You don’t need to-” Brian interrupted, placing his hand on the other men’s shoulder as he stood next to him, both of the men staring out of the window at the early morning traffic.
“Yes, I do.” Howie whispered. “I want you to know-”
“That you understand? I know D. I knew before we talked. I knew because of the way you were protective of Nick. You did the right thing by telling me off. Really, I needed to hear that from someone other than Alex or Kevin. Someone who could really give me a wake-up call. I now know that I was destroying Nick instead of helping him. You did the right thing. Are we okay?” Brian turned his head to look at his friend, who sadly smiled at him, then hugged him. “Yeah, we are. I just wish things we’re different.”
“Don’t we all, D.” Brian whispered as he hugged his friend back. “Don’t we all..”

~~~~

“Kevin?”
“Yes Nick?”
“Before I crash, can we talk for a bit?”
“Sure buddy..” Kevin nodded as he sat down, looking up at the youngest who was obviously looking for something in one of his two suitcases. Nick turned his head to look at him, “That is, if I can find what it is I want to give you.”
“Gee, and people still wonder why we call you Kaos.” Kevin smiled.
“Ah, here it is!” Nick walked over to the couch and sat down next to the eldest, holding a bunch of papers. “Kevin, these are the papers you’ll need in case I- in case I won’t make it.”
“Don’t say that Nicky.” Kevin swallowed as he felt tears working their way up to his eyes.
“I have to, Kev. Listen, I don’t trust myself with these, I couldn’t even find them now when they HAD to be in one of those suitcases. You’re the most responsible out of all of us. I know you won’t lose them. It’s my will, my..” Nick cleared his throat. Saying these things, felt like giving up, even though he wasn’t planning on doing so. “My burial plot.. and everything else you’ll need. Will you please hold on to these for me? Just in case..”

Kevin slowly nodded, unable to speak. Finally, after what seemed to be hours, he turned to look at Nick, his eyes filled with tears. “I will.. but I can’t-”
“I know you can’t Kev, and that’s okay.. I asked Bri to carry out everything that’s in here.”
“I’m sorry..” Kevin choked out as he buried his head in his hands, crying silently, letting out a lot of hidden emotions. At first, the sight of his crying friend was uneasy for Nick, since it was mostly the other way around, but then he gently pulled Kevin into a hug, wincing at the pain in his chest, but biting his tongue to prevent the other man from noticing. He gently rubbed his back for a few minutes, before Kevin carefully pulled back, feeling guilty for letting his feelings show to the one person that really didn’t need to see that. “I’m sorry..”

“It’s okay, Kev. I know this situation is even harder on you than on the others. You know what this disease can do, you’ve seen it all, so I understand. Don’t worry alright? I understand why you can’t carry out my will if needed. That’s why I asked Bri to do so. Don’t feel guilty. I know you still feel like I am your responsability, but I’m not anymore, Kev. You don’t have to take care of everything and everyone all the time. I’m so thankful for all the times you looked out for me, but I’m an adult now, old guy.. I’m already so blessed to have you here with me right now. Thanks for everything, Kevin. Really. I love you, oldie..”
Kevin looked at the youngest with a mixture of pride, love and amazement. “Where was I when you grew up? When did you get so wise?”
“I learned it all from you, Kev..” Nick smiled. “I just stopped growing up when I felt that if I grew more, I would never pull pranks on you again. I have my limits, ya know..”
“Dumbass. You’re still a dumbass, but I guess that’s why I love you..” Kevin smiled. “But seriously, I’m proud of you, Nick. You’ve become such a wonderful person. Really. I don’t know what to say except that I’m proud to be your friend. Thank you.”

Nick nodded his head, then covered his mouth while he yawned.
“Alright, I think it’s time to try and get some rest. But hey, as much as I love you Kev.. You’re sleeping on the couch!!”
“Smartass.. Such a damn smartass..” Kevin chuckled as he watched Nick close the door to his bedroom behind him.
“I heard that!!”

~~~~

“Kev!!! KEV!”
“Huh? Wha?” Kevin opened his eyes to see Nick standing over him. Slowly he sat up and rubbed his face before looking at Nick, in whose eyes he saw a mixture of panic and amusement. “What Nick?”
“You’ve got a problem!!” Nick smiled.
“Huh?” Kevin was still a bit sleepy and had no idea what the other man was talking about.
“It’s 12.35!!!” Nick chuckled.
“Damn..” Kevin whispered, knowing he was going to hear this for a long, LONG time.
Quickly he got up and gently hugged Nick. “Are you ready to go, buddy?”
“Yeah.. Have been for half an hour!” Nick said as he pointed to a backpack standing in front of the door so he wouldn’t forget it. In it were papers from his doctors from the United States, a dictionary and some other stuff that might be important during his appointment with Dr. Schagen.
“You WHAT?! And you didn’t wake me?!” Kevin shook his head, already knowing how Nick would respond. “Hell no.. Can’t let an opportunity like this pass me by!” Nick laughed as the two men walked out of the hotelroom and over to the elevators.

As they arrived in the lobby, the place where they had agreed to meet up, Kevin knew he wasn’t going to get away with being too late. And indeed, he wasn’t. A.J. was the first to notice them walking out of the elevator, so got up and saluted to Kevin. “Sir, you’re late, sir!”
Brian walked over to stand beside him. “Sir, how come, sir?!” Howie bursted into laughter at the sight of a blushing Kevin, a laughing Nick and A.J. and Brian who were trying to hold back theirs. “Owh shut up. Let’s get going.” Kevin mumbled as he started walking over to the other elevator that would take them to the underground parking-lot, the other men following him while they were giving each other high-fives or pat the eldest on the back. “Why?” Brian mouthed to Nick, who in reply mouthed “Old age. Sleep.” which made them both laugh out loud. In response, Kevin turned around and gave them strange looks, before he shook his head and turned back around again. “Kids.. I tell ya..” he whispered.

Twenty minutes later, the guys were driving around in circles, completely clueless of where they were.
“Kevin, I thought you checked how to get there?”
“I did Brian, but..” Kevin let out a sigh. “I forgot to bring the driving instructions.”
“That’s just great.” A.J. mumbled. “Old age must be getting to you, since normally you don’t forget ANYTHING, even when we want you to..”
“Owh shut it..” Kevin mumbled, trying to find a road sign saying where he should go.
“Maybe we should just ask someone for directions..”
“Yeah right, D. That would hurt his pride.” Nick replied. “Wouldn’t it, Kevy?”
“Would y’all STOP talking?!” Kevin yelled, knowing he had no choice but to ask anyone for directions, otherwise they’d be late for their appointment.

As soon as he could, he pulled over to a bus stop and opened his window. “Miss?” he asked a young woman in her twenties who was listening to music on her iPod. Obviously she didn’t hear him, but she did see the car and walked up to it as she took the white earplugs out. “Ja?”
“Do you know how I can get to the Erasmus Medical Centre?” Kevin asked her, lightly surprised by the fact that she didn’t seem to recognize him or the others for that matter. “Sure, you just missed it. Turn back around, then drive two blocks in that direction, take a left turn and drive straight ahead for about 200 meters. Finally take a left at the Hogeschool Rotterdam, which is a huge grey building you can’t miss. Then you should see a huge white complex, which is the EMC. Think you can find it?”
“I think we can. Thank you for your help!”

Just as he was about to drive off, Nick opened his window in the back. “Miss, can I ask you something?”
“Sure you can.” She smiled at him.
“What were you listening to?” he asked.
“You guys.” She smiled. “You’ll be in my thoughts, Nick.” She turned around and walked back to the bus stop, putting the earplugs back in.
“Never gone.” She mouthed to the men before Kevin drove off.

“What happened to the days they’d get hysterical when they saw us?” Nick smiled, obviously touched by the girl’s simple, but genuine comment.
“We aren’t they only ones who got a little older and wiser, buddy.” Brian replied as he placed his hand on his best friend’s shoulder.
“But tell me, WHY did you ask her that?”
“Dunno.. Always wanna know what people are listening to.. Curious..” Nick shrugged.
“Nosy is what it is.” Howie smiled. “I’m just thankful she didn’t draw attention to us.”
“Yeah, so am I..” Nick whispered. “So am I..”
Brian gently squeezed his shoulder, knowing Nick was thankful, but sad at the same time. In the old days, they’d sometimes get tired of all the craziness, but now they missed it and he knew it was mostly affecting Nick that they had to give up touring, seeing the fans and singing on stage, giving them a wonderful night out.

A few minutes later they saw the enormous white complex in front of them. “Ah, here we are. Erasmus Medical Center. Thanks to the Miss at the bus stop that is. Not thanks to old Kevy.” A.J. grinned. “Now we gotta find where we should be in 10 minutes..”
As soon as they parked the car, Brian got out and asked an old lady for directions. “Miss, can you tell us where the main entrance is?”
“Ik versta je niet schat..” she replied as she walked out of the parking lot. “Sorry to bother you.” Brian smiled as he turned around to face A.J. who was laughing at him. “Nice try, Rok.. Don’t think the old people here understand English, especially when it comes with your accent..”

“Quick to judge, are you?” someone said from behind the five men, which startled them as they turned around to see a man in his fifties who was obviously enjoying the sight of a embarrassed A.J. whose cheeks were flushing with red. “Not all ‘old’ Dutch people are stupid when it comes to understanding foreign languages. So, the main entrance. You see those stairs over there? Go up, walk straight ahead and you’ll see a sign saying ‘Hoofdingang’. Enter through there and go to the reception desk if you have an appointment. Have a nice day gentlemen.” The man smiled. “And be careful, most Dutch people understand English, even if it’s a little bit.”
“T-thanks sir.” A.J. stuttered, feeling stupid for his comment.
Brian hit him over the head. “Now who’s stupid?” the Kentuckian chuckled.
“Yeah yeah, let’s get going before-”
“You say something stupid again. Yeah, let’s get going.” Kevin laughed.

Fifteen minutes later, a nurse had drawn some of Nick’s blood so the lab could do some tests and now they were waiting for someone to take them to Dr. Schagen. They all knew this was their last attempt to find a cure for Nick, to try and rewrite his future and it scared them all more than they’d ever admit.
“Nick Carter?” a woman’s voice said. He looked up to see a woman in her forties smiling at them, waiting for an answer.
“That’s me.” He carefully got up out of his seat to try and prevent dizziness from taking over, then wiped his sweaty palms dry on his jeans.
“I’m Dr. Schagen, if you’d please follow me to my office. Can you walk or-”
“I can walk, thank you.”
The other four men got up as well, as they had agreed to be there with Nick every step of the way.
“The small conference room across from my office might be a better idea.” She smiled as she noticed them getting up and following them. “Is it a problem? Otherwise they can wait here.” Nick nervously asked, not wanting them to stay behind, but not wanting to cause any trouble either. “Not a problem at all. You’re lucky to have so much support.” She opened the door and motioned for the five men to sit down. “I’ll be right back.”
“She seems nice.” Brian nervously smiled. “Yes she does..” Nick responded.

Silence and tension grew thick in the room as they waited for her return. A few minutes later she did, holding a tray on which were cups, two thermos, sugar, milk and a glass filled with stirring-sticks made of wood. Another woman walked in, holding what was probably Nick’s medical file. She put it on the table before she exited the room and closed the door behind them. Dr. Schagen now introduced herself to all of the men and they did the same. When everyone was provided with a cup of coffee or tea, she sat down.
“So how are you feeling today, Mr. Carter?”
“Just say Nick, Doctor. And to answer your question. I feel awful.” Nick admitted. “But that’s partly jetlag I guess. So in all honesty, I can’t say how I’m feeling right now.”
“I understand, I didn’t realize you just arrived yesterday. Well Nick, to be honest with you, you won’t be feeling any better by the time we’re through with examining you. We got your medical file, but we want to make sure we know exactly what we’re dealing with. We’ll try to make it as painfree as possible, but it is going to hurt.”
“I understand.” Nick nodded. “It’s not as if I have a choice.”

“We’ll do everything we can to make it as comfortable as possible, Nick. Alright, I have to ask the rest of you to wait here while we examine your friend, because five hot men in a examination room might cause overheating amongst the nurses.” Dr. Schagen joked which brought smiles to the men’s features and it relieved some of the tension. “If you want to, one of your friends can come along so he can help with the translation of things and just keep you company. We will tell you what we’re going to do before each test and what it’s for. That’s easier than telling you everything now, alright? A nurse will come get you in a few minutes. I’ll go prepare some of the tests now myself. I’ll see you in a few, and you gentlemen, I’ll see after the test results get in.” Dr. Schagen got up, smiled at them, and removed herself from the room.

“Uh.. Frick?” Nick glanced as his best friend, not knowing how to actually ask him to please acompany him while he was going to be examined.
“Yes Frack, I’ll go with you if that’s what you want.”
“It might not be a pretty sight though.” Nick sighed, as he remembered her saying it would be painful. He hated the pain, he was in enough pain already, but it had to be done. Like he said to her, he had no choice than to go through with this.
“I don’t care.” Brian smiled. “I’m here for you Nick. Unless you have to get naked, then you’re on your own.”
His joke brought a sad smile onto Nick’s features.

A few seconds later, a nurse opened the door and asked him to come along, so Nick got up and received hugs from the other three men before he started walking out of the door. “Hey Nick..” he heard Howie say, so he turned around. “We’ll pray for you, okay buddy?” the Latino smiled. Nick nodded before he walked out of the conference room, followed by Brian who closed the door behind him. Little did they know that the pain the examinations would cause would almost be unbearable.