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Kevin, Howie and AJ were waiting; none of them too happy to be doing so. While AJ and Kevin had resigned to simply sitting in silence, lost in their own thoughts, Howie had pulled out his cell phone after about 10 minutes of quiteness and had been clicking away on it ever since, the repetitive 'tik-tack-tik' threatening to drive Kevin to insanity. The noise had gotten on the older man's nerves so much at one point, that he had abruptly gotten to his feet, glared pointedly at Howie for a moment before stomping three or four chairs down and falling into one with a slew of muttered choice wording and what could only be described as a low growl.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Kevin had slumped his form down low in te chair, looking as though he would kill the next person that dared to approach him. Howie had experienced the whole matter with an air of confusion, a baffled expression painted on his features as he watched his eldest friend, knowing better than to say anything. So he had simply kept his mouth shut, staring as Kevin had sat back down with a huff, his eyes on the door.

Letting out a muted sigh, the Latino had shrugged to himself before flipping his phone back open, his attention back on the device. AJ had observed the exchange between his two older friends in a detached manner, his body low in the uncomfortable chair placed on the opposite side of the room, his eyes lazily sweeping over them as he tried not to think. His head was pounding, the sudden onslaught of a headache not helping to improve his mood.

Chocolate colored eyes jerked back and forth from the floor to the clock over the receptionist's desk, a hissed, "Fuck," slipping away from the rebel ever half a second or so. He desperately wanted a cigarette to calm his nerves, his mind debating over the idea for the past half an hour or so. AJ let his head fall back lightly, rolling his eyes back and resting them on the ceiling as he let out a long sigh. He couldn't take waiting like this. Couldn't handle not knowing what was going on. Another breath left him and he shut his eyes roughly; there it was again.

The little voice that had been asking the same question over and over ever since Nick and Briad had left; why hadn't Nick chosen him? His hand came up, rubbing tiredly over his face before dropping back down, his eyes still shut. Why, why, why? He made the most sense, didn't he? He knew the most about Nick's conditions. AJ wouldn't deny how much he had been enjoying his time with the younger man. Nor would he necessarily deny, how jealous, even if it was in the smallest way, he had always been of Nick and Brian's friendship in years past. The rebel knew for a fact his ties with his four bandmates were strong but he also knew how much more of an effort he could have made to strengthen them.

And now that Nick was in the condition he was in, AJ found himself desperately wishing he had made more of an effort towards his youngest friend. Whether his feelings were attributed to his sobriety or Nick's ordeal with cancer, AJ wasn't sure but if there was one thing he walked away with from this whole situation, it was that tomorrow was never a guaruntee. A concept he had always known but never truly understood. Peeking his eyes open, he lifted his head, glancing out the clock before letting out a groan when he noticed only 10 minutes had passed from the last time he had checked. Shaking his head, he slowly got to his feet, finally giving into temptation and his nicotine addiction.

Taking a moment to stretch, he yawned, pulling a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and throwing them on as he headed towards the doors.
"And where are you going?" Kevin's voice was low and steady, causing AJ to turn at the address, a barely visable smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth when he got a look at his eldest friend. The older man looked so moody, it was almost comical. Then again, AJ supposed Kevin had every right to be on edge; they all did. "AJ?"
"For a walk. To get some air, I don't know." AJ supplied with a short shrug. "I just can't take sitting here anymore dude. I'm going insane." The fact that he was going for a cigarette was left out, the rebel knowing perfectly well that Kevin would murder him for still lighting up.
"It's only been like 45 minutes AJ," Howie sighed, glancing up from his cell phone. "Are you really that restless?"

"He has every right to be." Kevin muttered through clenched teeth. "Or have you forgotten why we're here?"
"I was just saying-"
"Howie, it's fine." AJ interjected quickly, trying to prevent the the outbreak of an argument. "Look, I'll only be gone for a few."
"Fine." The eldest relented. "Just don't go too far."
"It's a hospital Kev," AJ sighed, slightly rolling his eyes behind his tinted sunglasses. "The furthest I could go is like a dozen or so floors up." He recieved a curt nod in response before Kevin snatched up a magazine, hiding behind it stiffly. "D, give me a holler if anything happens, okay?"
"Sure thing." Howie nodded, his focus back on his cell phone. Turning back around, AJ headed out of the room, heading down the hallway in what he assumed was the correct direction of the elevators. He was more than halfway down the hall when,

"Oh for heaven's SAKE! Will you shut OFF that damn PHONE?!" Came echoing down the quite hallway, the frustration heard clearly in Kevin's voice. A small chuckle tumbled out of AJ as he spotted the elevators, stepping in one and taking it down to what he hoped to be the ground floor. Exiting the lift, he confusingly followed the signs, a frown etched onto his features as stopped for a moment, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he looked to his left, then to his right, trying to figure out what the signs were saying, arrows pointing in various directions.

"Shit." He cursed, glancing left and right again. "C'mon McLean, this isn't rocket science." Rolling his eyes, he turned left, an exasperated sigh leaving him as he found himself entering what seemed to be another waiting room, instead of the entrance to the hospital. Why had the route seemed so simple on their way in? Glancing around the spacious room, he found it mostly empty, aside from a couple sitting nervously off to the side. AJ held back a groan of frustration when he noticed there was no one at the receptionist's desk, stepping a few paces back and glancing down the empty hallways before shaking his head again. He was in the middle of debating on whether or not to attempt to ask the couple for directions when a doctor quickly entered the room, sending the duo immediately to their feet.

The man approached them almost hesitantly and AJ suddenly felt as though he were invading a private moment, an uncomfortable feeling rushing over him. Despite his feeling to leave, the rebel found himself stuck in a complete stupor, unable to tear himself away from the scenerio unfolding before him. He watched as the doctor attemped a smile, failing miserably as he let out a large sigh before slowly shaking his head. AJ saw the man cover his mouth in complete horror, saw the woman practically deflate as she fell against the man, all the color draining from her face.

Words were spoken softly, swirling around AJ's head in an incomprehensive manner but he felt the chills run down his spine none the less. He watched as the man nodded numbly, as the woman began to cry, as the doctor walked out of the room looking aged and defeated. And then he heard her scream. A long, desperate scream that ripped through AJ like nothing he had ever felt before. It sent shock waves through his body, the loss and pain hitting him in every direction. It took everything in him to keep his composure, images of Nick flashing before his eyes. Taking a deep breath in an effort to keep himself together, AJ forced himself out of the room, tearing his eyes away from the now hysterical couple, and concentrating on finding the way out of the hospital.

He found it after a few moments, rushing out the door and around the corner, immediately spotting a table and a bench of to the side, slightly hidden in the shadows. Walking over to it, he patted his pockets down, yanking his pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and lighting one. Taking a deep drag, he blew the smoke out slowly, trying to calm his nerves as he took a seat on the table, placing his feet on the bench and letting his head drop slightly. "Jesus Christ." AJ whispered, running his free hand over his head and tugging his cap down tightly.

He shakily brought the cigarette up, taking another drag as he tried to get the sound of the woman screaming out his mind. Why had the affected him like that? "Because that could be Nicky." He breathed, answering his own question. Although he hadn't understood verbally what had happened, AJ assumed from the reaction the couple had given that they had lost either a child or a very close family member. And all the rebel could think of as he had watched them, was a doctor coming out to tell them Nick couldn't be helped. Or that a few months from now, Nick had died. A shudder ran through him as he took a final drag from the cigarette before flicking it to the ground. Bringing both hands down, he pushed himself off the table, stomping on the cigarette and sitting down heavily, resting his head in his hands.
"Chill McLean. Just Chill."

The loud ringing of his cell phone made him jump and he dug it out of his pocket, quickly glancing at the caller ID before answering. "McLean."
"Now, I know you have caller ID on that phone. Why do you insist on answering like that?"
A dim smile appeared on AJ's face and he let lose a small breath, "Hey Mom."
"Hi baby. How are things going over there?"
"Okay. Nick is doing all the testing and Rok is with him. Kev, Howie and I are waiting."
"Are you in the waiting room? It's awfully noisy on your end."
"I'm....outside. Needed some air." He heard his mother let out a 'tsk' and closed his eyes for a second. She always knew.
"Alex, are you having a cigarette?" Denise demanded, continuing at his silence. "You are! I thought with all the stuff going on with Nick that you were going to quit?"
"I know, I know." AJ sighed. "I'm trying. I just needed something to calm my nerves. Especially after...." He trailed off and sighed again. "Just after some shit."

"Did something happen?"
The rebel hesistated for a moment before spilling the entire story to his mother, feeling a little bit better after he had explained everything. "I don't know Mom," He was mumbling. "I mean, I don't get why it hit me like that. I've known since day one that there was always a possibility of Nick...I mean, I-I'm the one that's been there like every step of the way. I know that things....if this doesn't work, I know...I just, I don't understand why it bothered me so much."
"What do you know honey?"
"What?"
"Alex, you keep saying you know. What do you know? Baby," Denise let out a long sigh before contiuing, "Listen, I talked to Howie the other day. He's worried about you. You're keeping all your feelings about Nick in....and he's worried about the toll it's taking on you."
"I don't-"
"Look, honey, I know you don't like talking about these things. And I don't expect you to spill all your feelings to me. Even though I am your mother." The last part was said in teasing and AJ forced out a laugh, "But baby, listen to me, okay?"
"Yeah."

"As much as it pains me to say it, and I've known Nick as long as you have, I remember him as that goofy, scared little kid too; but, sweetie, you've got to prepare yourself for the fact that Nick may die. And that he may die soon."
"He's NOT gonna-"
"Yes. Alex, he might." The older woman interruppted. "I know you don't want to think about it, neither do I. Nick isn't much younger than you....you don't think I look at him and think that it could have easily been my baby instead of Jane's? But the reality of the situation is the Nick's odds are against him right now. And I hate seeing you build this mountain of false hopes, only to have it come crashing down around you."

"But he's got a chance," AJ protested weakly. "The doctor's said..."
"He does have a chance, yes. But there's also a chance this could go the other way. Sweetheart, I'm just worried that you are holding all this in and it's going to be too much for you. I don't want you to turn to alcohol again like you did when Grandma died."
"I am NOT going to start drinking again."

"I'm just worried honey. Just please, promise me you'll talk to someone or at least accept the idea that Nick could die. Please, baby?" AJ stayed silent for a moment before shaking his head vigourously, "I'm not going to accept the idea Mom. I'm not because it's not going to happen." And before he could even think about anything else, he hung up the phone, tossing it down, open on the table. "It can't happen."