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"Hey Bri?" Nick was sighing as he pulled a t-shirt over his head slowly. A frown fell onto his face when he noticed how loosely it hung and he bit back a frustrated sigh. First he was too fat, now he was too skinny. Wasn't there any middle ground? Rolling his eyes, he directed his gaze over to his friend.
"Hmmm?" Brian stood, gently reclining against the doorway as he watched Nick dress, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Do you think you could promise me something?" A light smile surfaced on the older man's features and he shrugged, watching Nick tug his jeans on over his boxers, fastening them up before grabbing his hat from where it sat on the sink and mashing it onto his head.
"Mmmm, depends on what it is."

"Oh c'mon, don't you think you could just promise me?"
"Nothing doing Frack." Brian pushed himself off the doorway, gesturing for Nick to follow him back into the main room. "C'mon, we should head back to the fellas." Letting out a large sigh, Nick fell into step behind him, stopping a few seconds later with a frown.
"What? Why are you just standing there?"
The Kentuckian had stopped behind a wheelchair, his hands resting lightly on the handles as he shot Nick a small smile.
"Sit." He replied, gesturing to the chair.
"I don't need that!"
"I don't care. The doctor said you needed to take it easy and this is how you're going to be taking it easy." He waved a hand over the wheelchair, hitting it lightly. "Sit Frack." When Nick didn't move, Brian rolled his eyes, pointing again at the chair. "Nick...sit!"
"What am I, a dog?" Nick mumbled, relenting with a scowl and plopping down in the seat.
He slumped in the chair, a pout surfacing on his face as he crossed his arms with a huff.
"Goooood boy." Brian cooed, gently patting the younger man's head with a laugh as Nick batted his hands away. "Asshole."
"Careful Nicky, misbehave and you won't get a treat."
He rubbed the blonde's shoulder as he laughed again, causing Nick to roll his eyes. "I hate you."
"I love you too." Brian chuckled as he gave the chair a few pushes, tugging open the door and directing both of them down the hallways towards the waiting room.

"Hey, what did you want me to promise?"
"I don't wanna tell you anymore."
"You're such a baby." The Southerner sighed, stopping for a moment and looking to the left, then the right as he bit down on his lip. "Umm...do you remember which way we came?"
"I wasn't paying attention."
"Typical Frack."
"Hey, I had more important things on my mind, thank you very much." Nick defended, shrugging his shoulders, as he looked each way. "Try left."
"Why?"
"I dunno. We turned right down the last hallway, so to be fair, let's go left."
"Ahhh, that wonderful Carter Logic." Brian quipped, going turning the wheelchair and heading right. "Gotta love it."
"Hey! I said left!"
"Which is why I'm heading right." Nick let out a snort of annoyance, shaking his head as he mumbled something inaudible under his breath. "You gonna tell me what you wanted?" Brian asked after a moment of silence. Nick shrugged again, chewing on his bottom lip before letting out a large sigh. "About today," The youth sighed again. "Do you think you could leave out certain details when the guys ask how the testing went?"
"Ah." Brian nodded, understanding washing over him. "You know Nick, no one would blame you for freaking out. I mean hell, I was freaking out just watching you."
"I just...I don't think they need to know."

"Look," Brian stopped the wheelchair, seeing the entrance to the waiting room up ahead. Walking around, he moved to stand in front of Nick, bending down as he rapped the younger man's knees lightly. "How about I don't tell them unless they specifically asked how you handled the situation?"
"Are you sure you can't just not tell them?" Nick tried, his eyes on his lap as he heaved a large breath.
"It's not something to be ashamed of Nicky."
"You weren't the one crying like a two year old." The younger man muttered darkly, rolling his eyes.
"I can't believe I did that. I looked like such a baby."
"You ARE a baby. We've been tellin you that since the day we met you."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Brian smiled at his best friend, patting his knees again as he stood up. "So not funny." A smirk pulled at the corners of Nick's mouth and Brian grinned, pushing the wheelchair towards the double doors ahead. "Just don't worry about it, okay?"

"Yeah yeah yeah." Nick waved a hand to dismiss the argument, leaning forward as he peered into the room. "I wonder where AJ went?" Brian shrugged silently, watching as Kevin and Howie both practically leapt to their feet the moment they entered the room, hurrying over to meet the duo in the center of the room. "Get ready for the third degree." He whispered to his youngest friend, causing Nick to crack a smile. "Hey fellas."
"Nicky!" Howie was smiling as he gently gave the youth a hug as Brian rolled the wheelchair to a stop. "How'd it go baby?" The eldest was asking as he pulled Nick into a hug before moving back and looking at Brian. "Do we get the results today?"
"Well hello to you guys too." The Kentuckian frowned, letting out a sigh before he nodded. "The doctor said to give them about four hours. She's gonna call us when they're ready so we can head back to the hotel for a bit. Let Nicky rest."

"Well how'd all the tests go?"
"Why don't we discuss that back at the hotel." Howie suggested to Kevin as he glanced his youngest friend, noticing how tired he looked.
"Where's AJ?" Nick questioned, glancing around the room. “Bathroom?”
"No, he left awhile ago to get some air and walk around. We were all getting stir-crazy waiting for you guys. I'll give him a call." Kevin sighed, dragging his phone out of his pocket. "Can I call him?" Nick asked, stifling a yawn as he looked at his eldest friend who shot him a questioning look before shrugging and handing over his phone. "Thanks." Flipping the phone open, Nick yawned again before punching in the correct numbers, bringing it up to his ear as it began to ring.

~~~~

It had happened before AJ could even register that he had done it, a tangy, burning sensation on his tongue, lingering slowly and coating the back of his throat. Warmth coursed through his stomach, a sense of relief momentarily hitting him before it was immediately replaced with shock. Brown eyes went wide in disbelief as he sprung to his feet, the glass falling from his hand and hitting the floor with a shattering echo. Amber colored liquid splashed over his jeans, ice cubes and glass sliding across the floor, creating a sticky and semi-dangerous mess. The rebel felt his hands shaking, a suffocating feeling creeping up inside of him, as he stumbled back, nearly falling as he slipped and slid on the wet floor.

"No…” He breathed, trying to comprehend what he had just done. AJ hadn’t taken more than a sip, but it had been enough to horrify him, and he shook his head violently, in complete shock of how weak he had been.
“Hey!” The bartender was heading back in his direction, an angry look on his face and AJ shoved his hand into his back pocket, yanking out his wallet and throwing a $100 bill down onto the counter top before turning and practically running out of the bar.

Shoving the door open, a gasp left him as he hurried away from the building, looking back over his shoulder a few times as he made his way back to the hospital, finding the bench he had found refuge on moments earlier. Sitting down heavily, he rubbed a hand over his face; taking off his hat and tugging it back on as he tried to think. “Okay. Okay. Breathe, breathe McLean, breathe.” Letting out a deep breath he slowly counted to 10, trying to slow his racing thoughts. “I took a sip. It was just a sip. I didn’t drink the whole thing.” AJ mumbled, “I walked away. That has to count for something…I walked away. I knew it was wrong.” He nodded at his own sentence, a grim smile sliding onto his features. “Yeah. I knew it was wrong. I broke, I gave into temptation but I walked away when I realized what I was doing.” Biting down on his lip, he closed his eyes behind his sunglasses, letting them flutter open a moment later when he felt his heart began to stop racing. “It was stupid. I know that….I know what I did wrong and I know why I did it.”

His thoughts drifted back to a few of his rehab techniques and he nodded again. “It’s fine. It’s okay.” But you were still weak enough to succumb; a voice whispered, causing anger to flood AJ’s being. Dropping his head, he shut his eyes roughly. He HAD been weak. Guilt hit him hard and he absently clicked his tongue as he thought, a frown appearing on his face. He could taste the alcohol, taste the bittersweet memories that went along with it and a sense of yearning for more swept over him. Flashes of his partying times erupted before his eyes and he shook his head. “No, no, no, NO!” Slamming his fists down on the table, he let out a loud yell, “I WON’T DO THIS AGAIN!” The ringing of his cell phone ended his yells and he felt his heart catch in his throat, slowly bringing his phone out of his pocket and turning it over to glance at the caller ID. Kevin. His mind moving almost incomprehensively slowly, AJ opened the phone, licking his lips. “M-McLean.”

“Jay? Where are you dude?”
“Nicky?” He felt his body sag with relief that he didn’t have to deal with Kevin and rubbed his eyes roughly.
“Um, hey man. You’re done with the testing?”
“Yeah. You okay? You sound…off.”
“Oh…I fell asleep out here. That’s all.” The lie tumbled out of the rebel before he could stop himself and he shut his eyes,
he was back to lying to them. Not again.
“Where’s ‘here’?”
“I’m outside, found a table to sit at and guess I just kinda dozed off.” Rising to his feet, he took in a shaky breath. “I’ll head back to the waiting room.”
“Um…hang on a sec.” AJ heard muffled talking for a moment before Nick’s voice came traveling back through the line. “Yeah, Jay, we have a few hours before the results are ready so we’re gonna go back to the hotel. Kev says to meet us….” A loud yawn reached AJ’s ears and he half smiled as he headed towards the front of the building. “Sorry. Um, Kev says to meet us at the entrance. We’ll be there in a sec.”
“Gotacha kid.” Was all the older man said before disconnecting the phone and dropping it back into his pocket.

He arrived at the hospital’s entrance to find his four friend’s waiting for him, all of them engrossed in a conversation. “Hey fellas. Hey Fracky.” AJ gave his youngest friend a pat on the shoulders, sending him a small smile. “How was all the testing?”
“We’re apparently talking all about it when we get back to the hotel.” Nick sighed, yawning again. “Though, Bri might have to tell y’all cuz I’m worn out.” He shrugged at AJ. “But it was long….hey, what’s all over your jeans?” AJ suddenly found four sets of eyes on him and he shifted his weight uncomfortably, “Huh?” He got out, glancing down. “Oh um…I dunno. Guess the table was wet or something.” A nervous laugh fell away from him and he shrugged. “Shouldn’t we get going?” Kevin shot him a small frown before nodding slowly, his emerald gaze looking the younger man up and down before he sighed himself. “Yeah. Let’s head back.”

~~~~~

“So you just wanna crash for now Nicky?” Brian was asking as the five men entered Nick and Howie’s room, “Yeah. I’m really tired.” He glanced at everyone with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry guys.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” Kevin shrugged, looping an arm around Nick’s shoulders and hugging him lightly. “C’mon, I’ll get you situated in your room.” Nodding slowly, Nick allowed Kevin to lead him into the bedroom, slowly shutting the door behind them. Silence hovered in the room as AJ took a seat on the couch, sinking down on it with a tired sigh. Howie sat down next to him as Brian stood near the kitchen, his arms crossed tightly against his chest.

“So where did you end up going?” The Latino asked after a moment, turning is brown eyes up from the floor to look at his friend.
“Um, like I told Nick, I found a bench outside and just kinda sat. Fell asleep for a bit too.” AJ shrugged, forcing a smile onto his face. “Nothing exciting.”
“You sure about that?” Brian questioned from where he stood, his blue eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, pretty damn.” The rebel nodded, frowning slightly. He rubbed his hands together absently, his palms sweaty as he cleared his throat.
“You sure there’s nothing else you wanna tell us?” Howie pressed, nudging AJ’s shoulder lightly.
“Nope.”
It was quiet for a moment before Brian let out a large groan, shaking his head as he raked a hand through his hair. “How much did you have to drink, AJ?” The Kentuckian demanded softly, causing AJ’s head to whip up in surprise, his chocolate gaze wide. “E-Excuse me?”
“We can smell the alcohol on you.” The eldest man sighed, disappointment creeping into his words. “AJ…” He trailed off for a moment and shook his head. “Why didn’t you just to talk to one of us man?” AJ looked back and forth between his two friends, the guilt inside of him swelling. “Does Kev or Nicky know?” He was rewarded with shrugs from both men.
“We’re not sure.”
“Look…fellas I…I didn’t have what you think I did.” AJ frowned at his own words and shook his head. “I mean, okay, yes, I did go into a bar I found…an-and I did order a drink. But I don’t…god, I don’t even know what happened.” Rising to his feet, AJ started to pace as he spoke. “It’s like…I can’t even remember ordering the drink. It was just…just…THERE. And then I was holding it....then…all of the sudden…I just…” The younger man paused, shaking his head.
“Drank it?” Brian filled in sadly,
“No!” AJ snapped desperately. “I-I mean, yes, I mean no….I,” He took in a large breath. “I had a sip of it.” The rebel mumbled. “But then I realized what I was doing and how wrong it was and I stopped…I walked away! I did. I walked away from it!”

“What did you walk away from?” Kevin was asking as he emerged from the bedroom, gently shutting the door with a sigh. He glanced at Brian, Howie and AJ slowly, a frown appearing on his face. “What happened?” AJ closed his eyes for a moment, praying that both his friends would stay silent.
“AJ?” His eyes snapped open at Howie’s address, “I think you should tell him.”
“I don’t…I…” The younger man looked quickly from Brian to Howie, refusing to meet Kevin’s gaze who was looking more and more frustrated.
“AJ? Tell me what?”
“I…um…shit, um, Kev, look, when I went for a walk…I um, well, I wasn’t looking for it, I swear to God, I just started walking and found one and then I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, fuck, I DO know what I was thinking. I was thinking about Nicky and everything and then my mom…there was this couple and then she said I…what I mean is that-”
“Stop, stop, stop!” The eldest demanded, waving his hands in a time out mode. He took in a deep breath, “AJ…you didn’t do what I think you did, did you?” The question slipped from Kevin in almost a whisper and AJ could do nothing but drop his eyes to floor, nodding slowly. “Oh AJ..”