That fateful evening, the victory celebration was cut short by my ‘unexpected downfall’ as they had branded it. I might be the guy who fall from grace. But I was also once known as the guy who ‘has a brilliant future ahead of him. A potential Harvard Grad and most promising to become professional Basketball Player’ as they have put it in my year book. They had once lifted me up like glory, their prized possession. Teachers loved me, everyone wants to be my friend and ironically as that may seem, I found true friendship in a guy I never thought I would even talk to should the circumstances were different. There were mixed feelings going around the campus. While others took pity, wondering what could have triggered my sudden collapse and came up with their own diagnosis, others were quick to slam that I had indeed followed the footsteps of my mentor. I was the reincarnation of Brian Littrell. If that had been the case, it would make it a lot simpler for me. Drugs, alcohol, it’s common tragedy among youngsters like us. But how do I explain what had happen to me when I don’t even know what it is? They kept me in the hospital for three whole days, wasting my father’s hard earned money on hospital bills and then told me that they were still trying to figure out what was it that went wrong. Finally, on the fourth day, they found an answer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Day Four ~ AJ strolled down the eerie silent hallway towards his best friend’s ward with a heavy, unsettling feeling heaving on his chest. He had had the strange sensation ever since he woke up that morning. Going to school had been uneventful lately and he was getting tired of people talking about Nick Carter. He couldn’t wait for school to be over and then meet his best friend, just like he had done for the past three days, but that day, he felt different. He felt fear, of what, he was still unsure of. As he got nearer to his room, his heart beat raced a notch than normal. What will greet him behind that door, he don’t know. A thousand and one thoughts came invading his distraught mind and none was assuring. He heard voices in the room and stopped. He strained his ears to listen to the conversation, hoping that it wasn’t something that he didn’t want to hear. “You have to stay Nick, the doctors will find out the truth soon. You have to be patient hun.” AJ recognized the voice as Jane, his mother. “Four days is a long time. You guys can’t afford to keep me here.” Nick’s familiar defiant voice protested. “I will get the money, you’re not going anywhere.” His father’s voice insisted. “You have mouths to feed. The twins have to school. I will be fine at home.” Nick reasoned. A smile crept up AJ’s face. It was a typical Nick Carter’s speech. “Yeah, I miss Nicky! When can he go home?” AJ couldn’t differentiate which one of the Twins had said that. “I’m coming home today bro, no worries.” Nick replied. “Don’t give him any ideas Nickolas! And we will be fine. You’re sick, you belong in here.” Mr. Carter stood his ground. AJ wasn’t about to wait for a protest from Nick, he plastered on a smile and stepped in. “Hey everyone!” Nick was about to say something but stopped upon seeing him. The frowned quickly replaced by a relief smile. “Hey man, out of school already?” “Nothing much going on.” AJ replied. “Hi Jane, Bob.” “AJ, you don’t have to come here everyday you know.” Jane said softly. He noticed the eye bags under her eyes and realized that she hadn’t been sleeping much. “We know you’re busy son. And what would your parents say?” Bob added. “They’re out of town, as always, they don’t care really.” AJ replied, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. Nick might have been poor, but he was rich with family love, AJ was the total opposite. “I’m sure they do. Just busy.” Jane replied, smiling at him. “Yeah, I’m sure too.” AJ smiled, trying to be polite. “Hey squirt! How are you today?” AJ diverted his attention to Aaron, one of the twins and ruffled his messy mop of blonde. “Nicky’s coming home today!” He gleamed. AJ stole a glance at Nick, his face troubled. “Oh yeah? That’s definitely good news! Have you been a good boy?” AJ asked the five year old. “Aaron bullies me a lot! I want Nicky back!” Angel screamed at the back, hiding behind her father. “Oh yeah? You know you won’t get any candies if you do that right?” AJ joked. “I did not!” Aaron pouted, almost resembling his older brother. “Okay you two, quiet down a minute, Nicky’s tired.” Jane stepped in. AJ turned to look at his bestfriend. True enough, Nick was lying down on his back again, his eyelids half closed, about to fall asleep. His heart ached at the sight of him. He didn’t know where the feeling came from, but the sight of Nick closing his eyes brought fears in him. Like as if he would never wake up again. He wish he could shrug him out of his slumber but he knew his parents wouldn’t approve of that. Two doctors came into the room all of a sudden, with two male nurse in tow. AJ knew that he shouldn’t be alarm, that they are doctors who will help his friend, but somehow, his heart refused to listen to his rational explanations. It kept on pounding at alarming speed. He sensed something urgent and bad. But it couldn’t be. Nick doesn’t look like he’s dying. He could even hold a conversation with his family just seconds ago. “Move him to isolation, nobody handle this patient until further instruction from me.” The first doctor said firmly. AJ knew him, he was the one who had taken care of Nick when they first brought him there. A very soft spoken, passionate man in his opinion, but right then, he was anything but that. The two nurses quickly made their move, pushing both Mr. and Mrs Carter out of their way without even acknowledging their presence. AJ was getting frustrated by the sudden cold treatment the Carters were getting but was too afraid to speak up. He gathered both Aaron and Angel to a corner and watched helplessly as they removed Nick from the bed to a gurney, dragging along his IVs. Nick woke up from the movement and he saw fear written all over his face. “Where are you taking him?” AJ asked. “M…Mom?” Nick trembled, unsure of what to make out of the situation. “Honey, stay still okay? The doctor’s here.” Jane said from a far, wishing that she could go near and hug her son for comfort, like she did when he was young, but her husband’s firm grip on her wrist made her not to. She was as clueless as her son was, Dr. Riley had been acting very cold towards them suddenly and the other doctor with him wasn’t even doing anything about it. “Where are you taking our son?” Bob asked, trying to get Dr. Riley’s attention. The doctor kept his eyes on the nurse, watching their every move as they shifted Nick out of his bed. “Are you deaf? That man, the boy’s father, is asking you a question!” AJ yelled in frustration. He felt Aaron and Angel trembled behind him and quickly regretted his actions. Dr. Riley glared at AJ but he stood his ground and stared back at him. It was in situations like these that he loves to make use of his parents’ status as the richest family in the town. He was invincible when he wants to. No one could touch him. “We have found the cause of his sickness, right now, we’re putting him in isolation. I will explain it all to you after this is taken care of.” Dr. Riley replied emotionlessly to both the parents. Bob just nodded and turned his gaze towards his son. His first born. What was wrong with him? “N…No!…Don’t let them…what’s wrong with me? Mom?…why are they…isolating me?…DON’T TOUCH ME!” Nick snapped at the nurse who was trying to adjust the IV needle that was starting to pull off from his struggles. Jane was crying, she felt helpless that there was nothing she could do to calm her son. He had grown up to be a very matured, calm young man and to see the state he was in then was something new to her. Isolation…it meant none of them could visit. “Could you…give us some time alone please?” Jane spoke up. “Only you and Mr. Carter. The kids are not allowed near him.” Dr. Riley replied, sounding impatient. Jane moved towards her son and he pulled her for a hug. “Please, don’t let them take me!” She felt the tremble of his body, he was truly afraid. There were times when he was young that she would rub his back and that would calm his nerves but now, nothing she did could soothe him down. “It won’t be forever Nick. I will come back and see you. We all will.” Jane replied, trying her best not to cry for her son’s sake. “I can’t…please, if you love me, you will take me home.” Nick begged. Jane cried. She love her son dearly, but she couldn’t do what he had asked her to. “I’m sorry baby, you know I love you but I can’t take you home, you’re sick.” Nick didn’t say a word and pushed her away. He knew he was losing the battle. They are going to take him away and there’s nothing that he could do about it. He saw his father moved in, wanting to give him a hug. He reciprocate but he wasn’t feeling much. “You’re letting me go, aren’t you?” “You understand why don’t you son? You’re smart enough to think for yourself. And you know we love you no matter what.” Bob replied. “I know.” Nick replied and then laid his head back once again. AJ looked on desperately from afar, wishing that he could go near. He watched as Jane and Bob exchanged hugs and words with their son, wishing he could do something to take away their pain. He saw Nick lye back down on the bed and one of the nurse gave him an injection. Nick shut his eyes but didn’t squirm or tried to resist it. AJ felt someone tugging at his shirt and turned back to find Angel looking up at him. “AJ…I want to hug Nick too.” His heart felt like it had plunged from a high rise building. He didn’t have the comforting words to tell the girl that she couldn’t hug her brother who was about to be dragged into some isolation room, away from the human race. He pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around his waist, buried her face on his side and cried. Rubbing her back hoping that it would somehow calm her down, he turned to look at Aaron. He wasn’t crying, but his deep set eyes was locked on his elder brother, lying helpless as they gave him a jab. “Hey Aaron,” AJ called out. Aaron turned and he saw his eyes glistened with tears. “Nicky’s gonna be alright. He’s a strong guy.” Aaron nodded his head and as a tear trickled down his cheek, he turned back and quickly wiped it off. They were starting to pull him out of the room. Nick had flopped his head to one side, his glassy eyes staring ahead in a daze. It didn’t blink or showed any recognition when they pushed him pass Jane and Bob. He didn’t blink but frowned when he passed by Angel and Aaron and then, his eyes moved up to look at AJ. No expression, no goodbyes and he was out of the room. But again, AJ knew his friend was crying for help. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ AJ waited anxiously for Jane and Bob to come back with news about Nick. It had been too long and the twins had finally given up fighting with each other and were now cuddled next to him on the sofa at the waiting room. He was about to drift off too when he heard the familiar voices of Jane and Bob whispering. His eyes sprung back to life and he stood up, unable to wait any longer. “What did they say?” “It’s not good AJ.” Bob replied. AJ eyed Jane for a while. Her eyes were swollen, obviously she had been crying. How could it be that bad? Nick doesn’t look ill to him, just tired and a little sick, nothing that they haven’t seen before. “It couldn’t be that bad right? What is it? A bug?” AJ asked nervously. He shoved his hand down the pocket of his jeans, trying to warm them up. His eyes darted from Jane to Bob, wishing that they could just tell him the truth. “The doctor said that,” Bob paused, unsure of how to break the shocking news to Nick’s bestfriend without having him freaking out. He realized there is no better way in telling someone a bad news. He sighed and wished that someone else could do it. “AJ, have you heard of Darla?” AJ frowned. “I don’t know anyone by that na-” he didn’t finish off his sentence, he realized what Bob had just said. “No…it can’t be! Nick has Darla? Darla as in the disease?” Jane started to cry softly again. Bob just nodded his head as he too found himself fighting off the feeling to cry. AJ slumped back on the sofa, reality sinking in. The only thing that kept repeating in his head was the words ‘no cure…no cure…’. “AJ, they want to do the same test on you and the twins just to make sure.” Bob said after AJ had regained some of his composure. He nodded his head. He knew he didn’t have to worry. He knew he wasn’t infected. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nick watched as his parents argued with the doctor in his isolation room. He thought that he was not to have any visitors but he didn’t care. He had already begun to miss them. Maybe, he thought, they had a misdiagnosis and everything would be better again. “We want to take him home, there’s nothing else that you can do to him in here.” Bob was saying. Nick didn’t know what to make out of it. They had acted as if he was really sick but his father was saying that he wanted him home. “You’re putting the twins at risk if you bring him home.” Dr. Riley pointed out. “What are you talking about?” Nick asked, unable to be left out of the conversation. “Do you want to tell him?” Dr. Riley asked Bob and Jane. Bob didn’t reply but look over to his son, his face still flushed but alert. “Nickolas, the doctors told us that you have Darla.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My mind went blank for a while after I heard that one syllable word coming out from dad’s mouth. I think my brain was just trying it’s best to ignore the fact and refuse it totally. But after awhile, there was this voice at the back of my head saying ‘I’m going to die, I’m going to die’ over and over and over again like a broken record. It’s like facing death sentence, you know it’s going to happen you just don’t know when. It’s a constant fear of having to close your eyes at night and wondering if you’ll ever see tomorrow. Dr. Riley told me that the best option was to stay at a Home where all the Darla patient are treated and given utmost attention by committed nurses, doctors and caregivers. I would get to share a room with other patients and live life as normal as I could with this disease. My family could come and visit in the weekends. But of course, mom and dad refused to put me in any homes. If I were to die, they want to spend the rest of my life with them. It’s where I belong, they said. I felt really loved and lucky to hear that from them but at the same time, I know that I have to go to the home. It isn’t my choice, but I can’t risk having the twins caught the disease from me. Yes, we could do all the necessary precautions to avoid this, but should I risk it? There were many ‘if’s and ‘but’s questioning the move and finally, I guess, it all comes down to sacrifice. I made a decision to go to the home. That same evening, a caregiver from the Home came for me. He was a soft spoken man who didn’t talk much but when he does, he didn’t look at me and see a dying person. Mom and dad returned with my suitcases. All containing my clothes and some personal items. It’s funny how your life could be so filled with perfection and the next you’re like a dead man walking. I wasn’t given a choice or time to think about it all. There was no time for me to sit back and dwell into my doomed and shed the tears that I desperately need to let go. Other than my family, everyone else are rushing to put me away. It’s like all the compassion in human beings had been ripped off them. I was given fifteen miserable minutes to say goodbye to my family and bestfriend and to go away to a place where I would be spending the rest of my life in. With strangers who face the same death sentence as I do. As I climbed in to the white van with Kevin, my eyes stood fixated on the four figures waving at me outside. A scene that I learnt to still and framed in my mind as my heart cried for leaving my life behind. Now, could you sit and close your eyes, and try to be in my shoes?