" Excuse me," Nick called to the stewardess that was pushing the drink cart down the plane aisle.

" Yes?" she flashed a big smile as she saw who was calling for her attention. It wasn´t every day that she had the honor of serving a Backstreet Boy. Especially not one as good looking as Nick Carter.

" Is there any chance that I could have an aspirin?" He was furiously rubbing his temples, trying to lessen the band that was pressing against his skull. He´d been feeling bad ever since early in the morning and this was one of the rare glorious side effects of the radiation treatment.

" Yes of course, hold on a moment." The stewardess, leaving the drink cart, hurried down the aisle, intent to follow up his requests.

Closing his eyes, leaning his aching head against the headrest, he thought back to the past week. It had been much too busy for his own good. It was over a month since he first had set his foot at Dr. Andersen's office and on daily bases he now received radiation. Even if it had scared him dearly in the beginning he was slowly adjusting to it. The radiation itself didn´t hurt, it was the side effects that had him under the weather. After the first treatments he had felt pretty sure that he would make it and for the first time in a very long time he had felt pretty good. The morning procedures of vomiting had vanished and even if he had to go to the clinic everyday it felt so much better than it had done before he was on radiation.

This was until last week, when he experienced an fatigue,worse than anything he ever felt in his life. It was like he was getting hit in his head with an shovel and he had to go to sleep at once. There were very little appetite and a nauseous feeling was evident in his stomach all the time. On top of everything he ran a low grade temp and had a headache that was threatning to split his skull in half. In other words the bad effects of the radiation treatment were hitting him with full force.

But if the side effects were bad, it was nothing against how he felt with all the lies. His whole life was one big lie. Talking to his parents and especially Aaron had him feeling sick afterwards.It felt strange to lie all the time, saying to everyone that he felt fine and that there was nothing bothering him. What a bunch of crap.

All of the boys had called him on different occassions, surprised that he wasn´t the one that phoned them since he generally was the one contacting them. But Nick had no energy to do that, besides what would he say? That all the mornings, in fact the time before noon was scheduled with radiation procedures and that afterwards was so beat that he had to take a nap. In the afternoon he worked on his solo album, collecting material and stuff and in the evening he tried to have some social life. Mike, Nick's bodyguard and friend had suspected that something was wrong, but Nick had told him to mind his own business and then he stopped asking. Even if he felt so beat that he wanted to cry there were late nights, but at least he had laid off the alcohol. This had his friends shocked to say the least and he had told them that he had an ulcer and had to take it easy for an while. Doctor's orders.

Ulcer? More likely Non Hodgkins disease. Silently he wondered how long he could keep up this charade before he would have to lay his cards on the table. Call his bluff.

Now he was going to LA to start recording the new album and this was not without protest from Dr. Andersen. He had assured her that he was going to come back. Just needed a few days off since spending 5 days with the guys was more than enough. He would be back on Tuesday morning again. They would all stay at Brians house, bringing their girlfriends/wifes. This didn´t bother Nick since thinking of girls was not that high on his priority list right now.

A nudge at his arm woke him up from his thoughts, " Excuse me mister, you asked for some aspirin." The stewardess flashed a teethy white smile, handing him the small white pills into his palm. Instantly he took the pills, together with the glass of water that she had brought to him.

The stewardess studied him for an while before asking, " You need anything else?"

" Nah, that´s fine. Thanks." Nick smiled gratefully before closing his eyes. God he was so tired again. It felt like he could sleep for an eternity.

The next time he woke up, the stewardess was by his side again.

"Mister, we are about to land in Los Angeles. Please fasten your seatbelt and fold up your tray." she said before walking further down the aisle.

" What? Oh shit!" He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. A bit disoriented he sat up, folding up the plastic tray and setting his seat up straight. Peering outside he noticed that it was sunny and bright in LA, which suited him fine since he was a bit chilly. The plane was going down for landing and Nick gripped the handrest. He had never liked flying and everytime the plane dived made him wanna hurl. This time however he hadn´t been airsick and he was grateful for small favors.

The second the plane hit ground Nicks stomach made a voltage and he instinctly grabbed the handrest even tighter. The plane rolled down the taxway to the boarding dock and he waited as it stopped. There were instant action taken in the cabin and passengers started to stand up to get their things. Since Nick was an seasoned traveler and only was going to stay for a few days, he had his sportsbag with him and nothing more.

As he walked off the plane into the building he could feel the tension build up inside of him. He felt nervous meeting Brian. What if he sensed something? Staying together 24/7 for 10 years had left them reading each other like an open book. Brian and Nick, Frick and Frack, had been inseperable for a long period and they knew each other inside and out. Sometimes a little too much. Even if he had slept the whole way in he was still deadtired and the sportsbag felt like lead. Dr. Andersen hadn´t over exaggerated when she said that it was common to be overcome fatigue. But Nick never had imagine that it would be this bad.

As he walked out in the waiting hall he saw his "band brother" standing there by the reservation desk, talking to some personnel and he hurried over. He was probably booking a flight somewhere since both Brian and Leighanne liked to travel all over the world. Together.

" Yo Frick!" he shouted and Brian turned around with an startle look on his face. Nick had been right, he was planning an trip as he was holding an brochure of Barbados in his hand. A big smile lit up his face as he saw who had been adressing him " Frack!!!" They hugged each other like long lost brothers.

" Hey little brother," he said as he gave Nick a ruffle on his head, like old times.

Nick started to laugh, " Man, you are the same."

" Yeah, you know your big bro is back." Brian rubbed his fist into his hair and they laughed. To on passing passangers it most have looked wierd to see two grown man wrestling like bearpuppies, but since it was lunchhour the airport was much too busy for anyone to stop and say something to them. They both wore sunglasses, trying to hide their identity and even if people recognized them there were no one coming up to them. It was their holy moment.

" Well come on, let´s go." Brian held Nick on his shoulder. It was kind of hard since Nick had grown to an tall man and was as far as could be from the teen that he used to take care off. Nick nodded, following his friends hasty pace through out the airport. The words was spread fast that two of the famous backstreet boys were in the building and they had to make an run for Brians car as people were coming up to them. So much for peace and quiet.

Once situated at the red Porsche, Nick panted from his run. He was totally out of breath and it felt like his legs wouldn´t carry him. Dr Andersen had warned him from overdoing it, but he couldn´t for his world figure out what have made him feel so out of breath.

Brian grinned, " Need to work on that condition, Carter."

Even if Nick knew that the words were meant as an joke he still took it badly. Was Brian suggesting that he was being fat and unexercised? God knows he had heard those words mentioned far too many times during his life. Generally he didn´t have an bad condition, infact he tried to work out several times a day,especially during tours to keep his body in shape. Besides doing concert was really streneous and it took alot of energy out of him. Could he help that he had inherrited his mothers body form and his dads belly?

The only good thing about radiation was that Dr Andersen had told him that he would loose weight, both from radiating the area in his stomach, but also from the side effects that made his apetite lessen. This was not something he had experienced yet and he hoped to see an fast result on this area. His own management had supressed that they thought he needed to go on an diet, especially for the promotion of his solo album in the fall.

The more Nick thought about it the more he realized that the album might just be an dream. An dream that may never be fullfilled. The doctors were concerned that his cancer were agressive and during his darkest moments he thought that he would never live until next christmas. Deep down inside of him he knew that this would probably not happend since he had pretty good outcome, judging by the procent that went into remission from this kind of disease. What scared him the most was that maybe his luck was over. That his mission was to be an backstreet boy and when those days were counted he had done his deed in life.

" Nick, Hallo, Nick," Brian was waving his hand infront of him, snapping with his fingers. " Geee Man, you spaced out on me." Brian grinned.

He instantly jerked back to reality, " Sorry," Nick mumbled, appologizing, " I´ll guess I´m still an bit tired from the flight."

There were pity in his friends eyes, " Yeah I know. You and plane have never worked that well together." He patted Nick on his shoulder." Well let´s go." With that the two men sat down in the porsche and Brian drove out of the parking lot. He had his roof down since the sun was shining and it felt good to feel the warm wind blowing in their faces. Normally. Today however Nick was an bit chilly and he wrapped his black leather jacket closer around him.

Noticing this Brian frowned, " What´s the matter Nick? You´re cold?"

" Uhu..yeah..just a bit chilly, ya know. From flying,you know." He gave no further explanation, instead he moved his seat back, " Hope you don´t mind, that I´m getting an cat nap.I´m totally zonked. Wake me when we´re there." With that he closed his eyes, blocking out the world.

Brian stared at his friend in concern. This was not like his hyperactive friend that usually jumped up and down, talking all the time, never still for an second. " Sure," he said as he watched Nick trying to sleep.

This was an big disappointment. It had felt so good to meet Nick, but at the same time as they met he got an sense that there were something wrong with Nick. He was too pale and tired that everything would just be peachy. What also had him concerned was that he were batteling an distinct feeling that Nick was hiding something from him. An deep and dark secret.

They hadn´t talked so much to each other since christmas and when his friend had been arrested it had hit Brian pretty hard. There had been so many mixed feelings since he had under an long time felt that Nick was walking the wrong way. After AJ´s admittance to drug rehab Nick had been even more impossible to deal with and these past two years they had slowly drifted apart from each other. Not that Brian wanted it to. No, it just happend.

Kevin had talked to Brian several times and they were both concerned over Nicks way of living the life in the fast lane. Ok the kid have grown up to be an young man, but still that it didn´t justify him partying all night long, several days a week. An evil thought crossed his mind as he looked at Nicks sleeping figure. The blonde was probably hungover, that why he was tired and plale.

Brian had looked forward meeting the guys and that they would all be staying together in his newly built house in Santa Monica. He had planned both to have an barbeque party and just relaxing together. Like in the old days. Their was also work to be done since they were going to plan the new album and there were some things to discuss about this part. Both him and AJ had thoughts about wanting to change management since there were some questions that hung in the air. The alum felt pressed since none of the boys were too overjoyed going back into the studio again after just finsihing of an the Black & Blue tour. They needed some down time off. As things were going Brian had an destinict feeling that this might be their last album together. At least for some time.

Nick was more excited over his own soloalbum, then the album they worked on together. He didn´t blame him since he knew that Nick was trying to make one of his dreams come true. During long and boring nights at hotel rooms the young blonde, then teenager, had talked about the day when he was going to do an soloalbum. They had both laughed it away, saying that there will come an time when this would be reality. Just not right now. That time had finally come and all of the boys supported Nick into fullfilling his dream. They owened him that much. What had him concerned was that he was afraid that Nick wouldn´t take the pressure. He had an habit of overdoing everything he did and knowing Frack he knew that he would put his soul into his soloproject and also try to bounce off working with the guys . He mentally made an note to talk Nick about his situation during his stay here in La.

As they were coming closer to Santa Monica Brian got an idea. Maybe they should go to some resturant, just the two of them, to talk. Nick would be hungry since it was past lunch time and knowing his little brother he had probably not eaten anything since early in the morning, if even then. Nick wasn´t the one to turn down an Pizza so he set his pace towards Pizza Hut. Once outside the resturant he shook his friends shoulder, gently. Nick stirred immediatly, mumbling something uncoherent.

" Nick, wake up dude. We´re here."

" Mpfh..ugh..Ok," He sat up straighter in his seat, trying to clear the cow webs from his brain. Looking around he saw that he wasn´t at Brians place, but at an resturant. " B, Man" he mumbled, clearing his cracked voice, " You´re living at Pizza Hut?"

" No man." Brian laughed, " I thought that you wanted something to eat. Knowing you, plane food wasn´t that high on your priority list. Am I right?"

" Yeah..sure...uhm.." Nick´s stomach made an sommersault. Food was not something he could deal with right now. In fact the queasy feeling in his stomach was growing and he was feeling like he was coming down with something. Like the stomach flu.

" Well, let´s go and grab an pizza and a beer, and then we can talk some." Brian sounded entusiastic.

Nick didn´t want to spoil the good mood so he said, " B, listen...eh...I actually grabbed something on the plane. No don´t look so surprised," He forced himself to grin, " So I´m not really that hungry, besides I wanna meet Leighanne . Think I can have a raincheck on the Pizza and we can go to your place instead?"

" Allright, ok, well then lets go to my humble place." Brian was smiling, but it didn´t reach his eyes. Instead concern clouded them. This was not the Nick that he knew. Definately not!

"Great, Let´s buckle up and go then." The porsche made an growl and soon they were on their way again. Not long after Brian had come out to the highway again he noticed that Nick had closed his eyes, laying down in an slumped position. An hint of concern made him reach out and feel his brothers forehead. Heat was radiating against his hand and this made him jerk back. Now wonder that Nick was so tired. This was the explanation - he was running a fever. Nick was sick!