Tucking his wallet into his back pocket, Nick tiptoed down the hall towards the door that led out to the garage. Still being stubborn, he stayed to himself all day yesterday, practically a captive in his own bedroom, but that’s the way Nick wanted it. He had disclosed what was wrong to the guys and Nick wasn’t ready for anything to be told to the men. He secretly had hoped that he would beat the cancer and no one would be any wiser.

Backing out of the driveway, he glanced up and saw Brian standing in the window. He waved, almost a little too enthusiastic, Nick thought, but he reciprocated with a half-hearted wave and drove off.

“Nick leave?” Leighanne questioned from the warmth of the bed, not wanting to get up just yet.

“Yeah, today’s chemo day,” Brian replied sadly. “I should have went with him.”

“Honey, don’t beat yourself up, Nick probably wanted to be alone,” she suggested.

“But he’s been distancing himself again and it’s my fault. He was coming out of his shell about what was going on and I told the guys and blew it.”

“Sweetheart, you didn’t blow it, you told the guys because they confronted you with it, they practically knew, you just reinforced their suspicions.”

Brian hastily wiped the tears from his cheeks before he turned to face his wife. “I’m still worried he’s going to find out about AJ’s drinking.”

Leighanne smiled nervously. “Well, he hasn’t yet so maybe he’ll never know.”

“Let’s pray he doesn’t.”

“Good morning Nick, how are you feeling this morning?”

“I feel pretty good so far Valerie, but then again, the chemo is only halfway done,” Nick remarked to the young tech. “Ask me again same time tomorrow.”

“That Decadron is supposed to help with the nausea,” the young girl stated as she stocked the cupboards in the private treatment room.

“Well it’s not,” Nick replied through gritted teeth.

“Well I’ll mention that to Dr. Andersen since you’re here. She can probably adjust the med for you.”

Nick rolled his eyes, deciding that nothing could possibly take the nausea away. He hated everything about chemo especially the fact that it can wipe you out the very next day after a treatment and zap his body of energy.

“Oh, Dr. Andersen, I was just about to call you, Nick said that the Decadron hasn’t helped him with the nausea,” Valerie said to the doctor as she entered the room.

The woman grabbed the clipboard and scribbled an order down onto the paper and handed it back to the girl.

“I’ll go get the med,” was the girl’s only reply as she disappeared through the door.

“I can see you’re thinking about something,” Dr. Andersen smiled as she approached her young patient, “what’s troubling you?”

Nick narrowed his eyes at the doctor. “How did you know I was thinking about something that was bothering me?”

“Body language.”

Nick snorted. “Yeah this body reveals so much to a person, doesn’t it?”

“Nickolas, you’re alive and what you look like right now shouldn’t matter, besides, I think you’re a very beautiful person on the inside.”

“Which means the outside looks pretty gross. I’ve seen the looks when people see me in public, I’ve heard the jokes about how fat I look, I’m not stupid.”

“You’re right, you’re not stupid but those people are stupid.”

Valerie returned to the room carrying a syringe and an alcohol swab.

“What’s that?” Nick asked as he watched the woman swab off a port on the IV tubing.

The doctor replied as she injected the medication into the line. “Higher doseage of Decadron.”

“Oh that’s just peachy,” Nick sighed.

“Nick would you rather feel so sick that you can’t eat or drink anything?”

He shook his head. “I just don’t like the side effects of that med.”

“Nick, what did we just talk about?”

“I know.. I know but I’m just getting sick of looking like I’m trying to hide a water balloon under my shirt.”

The doctor placed a comforting hand on the young man’s shoulder. “I know dear, but this should be over soon.”

“What about these stupid mouth sores?”

“Those being bothersome?”

“You have no idea.”

“I’ll give you a script for some oral meds and a topical ointment.” Dr. Andersen studied her patient’s worried expression, the tears in his eyes. “Aren’t you getting the support from your family?”

A few tears escaped the rim of his lids, slipping down his reddened cheeks. “They don’t know about any of this.”

“What the hell is the media doing camped out across the street?” Kevin roared as he looked out the window for the fifteenth time. “Can’t they give us some privacy? God!”

AJ, Howie and Brian watched as the tall man paced the living room floor, stopping occasionally to move a curtain back and peer out the window.

“By god, they get wind of us recording and they’re all over us like flies on honey,” AJ smirked.

Howie, Brian and Kevin directed their stares to the tatooed man sitting on the couch.

“What? Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?” AJ asked innocently.

“Don’t you remember?” Kevin growled.

“Remember what? What the fuck?” AJ pushed himself back into the couch, preparing for assualt.

Kevin sighed loudly. “Figures McLean, you wouldn’t remember this shit.”

“Would you just tell me what the hell you’re driving at here?”

”The bar, you remember the bar?”

AJ laughed nervously. “Oh that.”

“Yeah, oh that,” Kevin challeneged.

“So I had a couple of drinks, this is nothing to blow out of proportion over,” AJ defended.

“Goddamn AJ! It’s not all about you! You honestly don’t remember what you did the other night, do you?”

AJ started squirming on the couch, shifting his body back and forth, nervously. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Howie was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the way Kevin was dragging out the information.

“AJ, you got drunk and you shouted to the entire bar that Nick was dying,” Howie blurted.

AJ’s mouth dropped open. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit. So now, my friend, Nick’s secret is all over the media and his own folks don’t even know yet and they’re going to find out like the rest of the world - on some stinkin’ rag television show!”

As Nick turned the corner leading to his house, he saw the vans, camera equipment and reporters clustered on a lawn opposite of his front yard.

“What the hell is this shit?” Nick softly questioned as he got closer to his driveway.

The group of reporters started rushing into the street when they saw the familiar vehicle heading towards them. Hearing them cry out his name and the flashes of cameras, Nick slowed up slightly, but continued to head to his driveway, hopefully to safety.

At a time when he needed the garage door to open, it failed him this time and Nick was left with the only option of getting out of the car with the reporters standing at the edge of his drive. Tugging at the tee shirt, Nick slowly pulled himself out of the car.

”NICK! I CAN I ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS?”

”Nick, Carson wants to have a live interview with you right now!”

Nick shook his head. “I can’t today!” he called out over his shoulder.

”DID AJ START DRINKING AGAIN BECAUSE OF YOU BEING SICK?”

Nick froze.

”WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?”

”ARE YOU DYING?”

Nick couldn’t move. What seemed like an eternity but in reality was only a minute, Brian came out to where Nick stood, which spawned more questions.

“Brian, what’s wrong with Nick? Did he lose his voice?”

”Does he have cancer of the vocal cords?”

“Don’t listen to them, come on buddy, let’s go inside,” Brian soothed as he placed a gentle hand on Nick’s arm.

Inside, the two men were met with a tearful Leighanne, holding the cordless phone. “Nick, it’s your mother, she wants to talk to you.”