Admissions
“Bri, it’s me, Nick, I can I come in?”
I waited out in the hall, staring at the white hotel door waiting for a reply
from Brian.
Nothing.
“Brian?”
I spotted a woman from housekeeping walking down the hall with her cart
out the corner of my eye.
“Hey, my friend’s not answering his door, can you use your pass key and open
it up for me please?” I pasted a quick smile on my face and prayed to god
that it would work.
“Si,” the woman replied with a heavy Spanish accent.
She barely had her card out of the door when I pushed it open. I rushed into
the room, Brian wasn’t anywhere to be seen. There was a slit under the
bathroom door, a light was shining under it.
“Brian?” I called out as I stood on the other side of the door.
Nothing, no answer.
I pushed the door open and gasped. Brian looked up at me, a funny look on his
face at first and then it was immediately replaced with a look of anger.
“Nick! How the hell did you get in here?” he yelled as he covered up his
chest. It was too late, I saw something that looked like a button protruding
from his chest near his collar bone and it had a pump of some kind attached
to it.
“I’m sorry, you didn’t answer the door and I was worried about you,” I
replied quickly.
“Yeah well I’m fine so you can leave now,” he replied. I could see the hurt in
his face.
“Brian, please, don’t shut me out, talk to me,” I pleaded.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he defensively replied.
“Please Brian,” I pressed. “Something’s not right, I can tell. Talk to me.”
He sat there quietly for the longest time, not saying a word, still holding the
shirt up closely to his chest as if he let it down it would cause something to
escape. Finally after what seemed like hours but in all actuality was only
minutes he burst into tears.
“I’m scared.”
I rushed up to him and wrapped my arms around him. “I’m scared too, Brian.”
He looked up at me with tear stained cheeks. “This is something I can’t
control Nick. I’m trying and trying and I think I’m getting worse instead of
better. I can feel it eating away at me and it scares me. They have been
telling me that if I make it to Christmas then I’m doing good.”
“You will,” I barely spoke, my voice breaking.
“I’m tired Nick. I’m scared and I’m tired. When I went to the doctor’s it
took me by complete suprise with the leukemia diagnosis. I prayed that it
was a mistake but it all seemed to fit. I’m slowly losing my mind and I’m
afraid that one day I won’t know you. It’s some side affect from the drugs
they have me on to fight this. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all a good idea or
not.”
I didn’t speak, I listened to every word he spoke and my heart ached for him
as he obviously was trying to keep his composure.
“Nick, I.... I made you my personal protector for when I get bad,” Brian
stammered.
My heart dropped hearing that.
“You’re not going to get bad, you’ll beat this Brian,” I replied, believing that
if I was convinced nothing bad would happen, then nothing bad would happen.
“I’ll make sure you’ll get better.”
“Thanks Chaos,” Brian whispered.
God, he hadn’t called me that nickname in a long time. I smiled. “Brian, tell
me all that I need to know, I’m going to help you and I’m going with you to
the hospital from now on.”
He smiled. “Nick, you don’t have to waste your time doing that.”
“I have to. We’re in this together now.”
