Some Outside Help
“Nick, for crying out loud, you gonna shoot that thing or what?”
“Huh?” I looked over at my little brother. He was standing away from me, his
arms folded across his chest.
“You’ve been standing there aiming the ball and not shooting it for like, oh,
about FIVE MINUTES!”
“I’m sorry, my mind’s on something else.” I shot the ball. Instead of going
directly into the basket, it flew over the backboard. We both watched it roll
down the grassy slope.
“Nice one Nick,” Aaron yelled sarcastically over his shoulder as he ran to
retrieve the ball.
“AC, I.... I’m sorry, but I just can’t play right now, I have too much on my
mind. I’m really sorry. I promise I’ll play later.”
“Nick? Let’s go sit at the pool and talk. Maybe I can help,” Aaron hollered as
he scooped up the ball.
I smiled despite myself. In his fourteen year old innocence, he really was
thinking he could help me with my burdens. “I dunno if you really can.”
“Maybe you should give me a chance, you’d be suprised,” Aaron smiled a
lopsided grin at me. He gestured with his hand for me to follow him out back
to the pool, dribbling the ball on the walkway along the side of the house. He
sat at the edge of the pool, plunging his feet into the water. Rolling my
pantlegs up, I did the same.
We sat there for almost three minutes, neither one of us saying anything,
staring at the blue water.
“Well?” Aaron piped up. “Remember, I said I could help you.”
I sighed heavily. I knew full well that Aaron couldn’t possibly begin to help
me, but he may be able to help me to feel a little better about the situation.
“Well, you know all about what’s been going on with Brian, right?”
Aaron didn’t say a word, he just nodded.
“I just can’t help but think that there was something I could have done to
help, I mean, he’s slowly slipping away from me and there’s nothing I can do.
He hates me for doing what I did to him and I know when he has his good
days he can’t help but hate me for putting him in that nursing home.”
I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Nick, Brian doesn’t hate you. He’s sick and he
can’t understand that what you did was something you had to do. He wasn’t
himself and you couldn’t leave him alone.”
“Yes, but I should have tried taking care of him longer than what I did.”
“Nick, god, you tried longer than anyone else would have ever tried. Brian
was a danger to himself, you did as much as you could but he was always
wandering off, remember when he fell into the pool?”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight at the memory. It was like he had no concept
of how to swim, like the water was going to hold him up. His eyes grew so big
when he kept trying to get up out of the pool. If I hadn’t been in the kitchen
at the time, he surely would have drown.
“You did everything you could. There was nothing more that you could have
done.”
Our conversation was interrupted by my sister, Leslie bring the cordless
phone out to the pool. “Nick, it’s AJ.” She handed me the phone acting like it
was posionous.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Thanks. Hello?”
“Yeah, Nick?”
“Hi AJ.”
“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up with me for a bit, I want to help
take your mind off of stuff man.”
“No, I’m okay AJ, I got my family with me,” I replied.
“No man, really, you gotta get out. When’s the last time you circulated
yourself?”
I rolled my eyes listening to him. Clubbing, that was always AJ’s key to
happiness. “Really AJ, I wouldn’t be much fun.”
“I’m picking you up at 8 so you better be ready or else you’ll be going dressed
as you are.”
“Don’t I have a choice in this?”
“Nope.”
I switched the phone to my other ear. “Okay AJ, tell you what, we go
clubbing but only if you pick me up at 6. We go see Brian together first and
then we go out.”
“Man, that’s gonna be a total downer,” AJ replied.
“So? Do you want me to go out or not?”
“Yeah, okay, six o’clock then,” AJ snapped into the phone. Before I could
reply, he shut me off.
“Well bro, like it or not, I’ve been drafted to circulate.”
“Good for you Nick!” Aaron cheered.
