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Part 2

I didn't sleep at all last night. No matter what I did, I just couldn't seem to relax. Maybe it was the fact that I knew I only had days left to convince Tara not to leave me forever. That would put any guy on edge. Everytime I walked past the phone, I picked it up and started to dial her number, but before I could finish, I slammed it back down. I had dialed the whole number once but hung up after the first ring. I had no idea what I was going to say to her.

Should I tell her that I knew about the plane ticket? Or should I wait to see if she tells me herself? I knew she wouldn't tell me though. She would have just left without saying anything. I know that much because if she had any intentions of telling me, she would have called. I sighed as I saw the sun started to peak up from behind the hills. It was morning already. She was going to be leaving tomorrow afternoon, walking out of my life forever.

The more that I thought about it, the harder my decision became. Surprising huh? Wouldn't you think that going after her would be the only thing that I wanted to? Well it was for awhile. Then I really thought about it. Isn't a part of love letting the person that you love more than anything do what they want to be happy? Tara always supported my music career, so why shouldn't I support her? True, I had no idea what she was doing but I knew that she had to be doing it because something in her heart was telling her to.

God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes

I don't understand why she just couldn't tell me what it was. That really would have made a huge difference. I wouldn't be sitting here right now wondering what was going through her mind. Where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there. Questions I wasn't sure if I was ever going to have the answers to. Tara was the only one that could answer them.

I laid down on my bed... the bed that Tara and I had shared so many nights. I swear I could still smell her. Her vanilla perfume was still present on her pillow. A scent that I hoped would linger there for a long time. It helped some of the loneliness subside. It was really all that I had left of her. I shut my eyes and let the scent take over me. When I opened my eyes again, hours had past. It was four in the afternoon. Less than a day away from watching Tara walk out of my life.

Quickly, I jumped out of my bed. While I was asleep, I had dreamed of what life for me would be without her. To say the least, I was miserable. That was all the convincing that I needed. I couldn't let her go. Not this way, not like this. I ran out of the house, only stopping to grab my car keys. I was driving so fast that everything seemed as if it were a blur to me. Not that anything mattered to me. I just wanted to have Tara back and I would stop at nothing until she was mine again.

It wasn't long until I pulled into the familar area in which Tara lived. I let out a long sigh when I saw drops of rain starting to hit the windsheild. Rain wasn't going to stop me nothing was. Shit, I thought when I heard these strange noises coming from my car. Then suddenly, it just stopped.

"Shit," I cursed to myself. Tara didn't live too far from here. If I ran to her house I shouldn't get too wet. Powered by my love, I hurryedly abandoned my car and started to run down the streets. I was getting soaked but I didn't care. That was the least of my worries. Honestly, I can't tell you what kept me moving. I was so exusted before I was even half way to her house but my pace never slowed.

There was no way that I was going to miss Tara. I know I had all day but I wanted to spend as much time talking to her as I could. Hoping that I would be able to stop her powered me. My feet were pounding the pavement as I ran. Tears began to build in my eyes. It was at that point that I realized just how scared I was to lose her. Everything seemed so clear to me. This was my destiny. Tara was my destiny.

My heart was pounding as I neared Tara's house. This was it, whatever happened from here would determine the rest of my our lives. Never had I been faced with such an important decision. Sure the group was a major thing but that would all end one day, but what I have with Tara will never fade. It will always be there. I just hoped that I would be able to talk her into staying.

I ran up the steps of her pourch and then pounded on her door. I was panting and my clothes were clinging to my body, and I was cold, but I didn't care. I felt the cool water run down my face as I waited for Tara to come to the door. When she opened it, she froze. She hadn't expected to see me.

"Tara..." I whispered.

"Nick, you're soaking wet," she said, "come in, let me get you a towel." I smiled as I looked deep into her eyes and stepped into the house. God, I missed her so much. Silently she walked down the hall and returned with a towel for me.

"Thanks," I said. She looked at me for a minutes before saying anything.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I had to see you. I had to talk to you," I said despirately. I didn't care how I sounded. She had to know how I felt. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes. "Why? Why did you leave me?" She looked at me and considered my question for a while before answering.

"Nick please don't do this to me."

"Do this to you!!" I yelled, for some reason I was angered, "do you know how much I've been hurting since you left. How could you do that to me!?"

"Look, our lives are going in different directions," was her answer. I stared at her. "I don't know where I stand with you any more."

"How could you not know? I love you more than anything," I answered, shocked by what she had said. I loved her, I thought she knew. "You were what kept me going."

Now you had me on my knees
Begging God please to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep
You made me feel like I could not breathe
Now all I wanted to do was to feel your touch
And give you all my love
But you took my love for granted
Want my lovin' now
But you can't have it
God

"Things have changed since we first got together," she explained as I kept my eyes locked on her. "I'm not the same person that I was."

"Neither am I. Tara you taught me how to love. You made me a better person," I said to her. I'm sure she saw the pain in my eyes because she looked away from me. I felt tears starting to build again. Tara was the only girl that I would let see me cry like this.

"Look Nick, you were my real first love. I want you to know that," she stated. "You mean so much to me."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I can't handle it."

"Handle what?" I asked as I moved closer to her. She looked up at me. Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears as well.

"Being so much in love and not knowing what to do," she confessed.

"It's alright to be scared baby," I said, "because I know how you feel. The thought of finding the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with scared the shit out of me too at first, but it's going to be okay, I promise."

"I love you Nick," she whispered before she kissed me. Damn I missed her kisses. They were so loving and gentle. Before either of us could think, we were in the bedroom making love.

God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes

When I opened my eyes and looked around the room, I saw no sign of Tara. I grabbed my boxers and started to walk through the house. "Tara?" I called but recieved no answer. As I walked into the kitchen, I found a note : 'Thank you for one last night. As much as I love you, I don't think that I can be with you right now. I promise when I'm ready, I'll be back. Lots of Love, Tara.' The note fell from my hand. She'd left.

Oh God, send me (God send me an angel)
An angel (wipe the tears from my eyes) Oh baby
Send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel (God send me an angel)
From being in love (send me an angel)
Oh God, send me an angel
Send me an angel (send me an angel)
Ooohhhh..

*Song Lyrics By Amanda Perez "Angel"