Slowly Nick started to come to his senses. Opening his blurry eyes he noticed that it was dusk in the room and his first thought that he was in yet another hotel in a strange unknown city. Turning on his head he noticed a woman dressed in white, sitting next to his bed reading a magazine.
"Mom?"
His throat was still sore and his voice sounded croaked and weak. But it didnīt matter since he got the attention he wanted. The blonde woman lay her magazine down and then said to him in a soft tone, "No honey. Iīm nurse Mary," "How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? "
He felt confused. A nurse? Did this mean that he was still stuck in that German hospital? And if so how come they spoke english to him?
Licking his parched lips he tried his best to get his braincells to function properly. "Where am I? In Germany?"
"No. Youīre at New York Memorial Hospital." The nurse smiled at him, making him feel even more confused than before.
"New York?" Nick stared blankly at her, "But wasnīt I in Germany? With the guys? Touring."
This comment made the nurse frown. "No honey. Donīt you remember that you flew back home?" She felt his forehead as to assess if he was still running a high temperature.
Nick's brain went into overdrive. Thinking hard bits and pieces of him being sick on a plane came into his mind. But that he had been so many times this recent trip that he didnīt trust his memories anymore. They could easily play a joke on him. He shook his head.
"No?" She took away her hand from his forehead and then searched for a thermometer. Finding the object she then placed it in his mouth before saying, "I will let your doctor know that you are awake and he can explain about the situation for you. How does that sound?"
Nick had no time to answer before she was out of the door. Running his hand through his hair he noticed that it still came away wet. Wet from sweat. He knew that he was still running a fever but not as high as the ones he had before. This time he was able to think coherent which he hadnīt done for quite a while. His head didnīt feel like exploding any longer either and for once he felt like he could breathe without being afraid to choke to death with the phlegm that had coated his lungs for so long. Closing his eyes he willed his body to rest but it was difficult since his thoughts all the time went over to what the nurse had told him. That he was in New York and not in Europe or at home. Just when he came to the conclusion that he most have been bad off the door opened and a male doctor in glasses came into the room.
"Hello Mr. Carter Iīm Dr. Finnley. Nurse Stewart informed me that you were awake so I came in to see how you were doing."
"Ok." He nodded since talking was out of the question with the device stuck in his mouth. Just then the thermometer chose to give away a beep and the nurse took it out, reading the figures. "101.5." she read , smiling at him reassuringly. "Your temperature seems to be going down."
"Mmm." The nurse was probably right but still he could feel his energy draining away.
The doctor looked pleased. "This is good news. Hopefully the fever is about to break and youīre condition has improved a lot since you were admitted yesterday morning."
"Yesterday?" Nick felt confused, "How long have I been here? How come I donīt remember anything?"
"Mr. Carter you have been suffering from a high fever and relapses of memory loss are quite common, especially since you were really sick on the plane. Luckily for you there was a doctor aboard and the plane had to emergency land since you were showing all kinds of symptoms of kidney failure."
"Kidney failure?" Nick interrupted him.
"Yes," the doctor sat down beside him on his bed. "Your organs in your body were slowly shutting down and that is why you were becoming so sick. We also put you on dialysis for the time being but since youīre doing so much better than expected for a patient with your symptoms we will consider taking it off as soon as you get better." The doctor peered at him atop of his glasses, "You do know that you have been one lucky guy donīt you?"
Lucky? He didnīt call himself lucky, still he nodded, "Yeah?"
"Yes, because when you were first admitted you were listed for critical condition and for a while there you really went through the wringer." The doctor smiled briefly at him, as did his nurse, "but you are one strong man. A real fighter and after we got the fever down a bit and cleared your lungs as well as got your kidney working again your condition has improved considerably." He stopped for a moment before adding, "but I tell you that it was lucky that your friends admitted you at the hospital when they did, because otherwise the outcome could have been a whole different story."
Nick blinked once. He blinked twice. "What are you saying?" he whispered with a hoarse voice. "Could I have died?"
"Yes, young man. You have been treating your body very poorly lately and it's a serious condition when your kidneys stops functioning."
Nick could feel himself blush. What did the doctor mean with those words? Did he know anything about the dieting? Had the guys said anything? He hoped not since dealing with such an issue was not something that was high on his list right now.
It was as if the doctor had read his thoughts, "Yes Mr. Carter I know about the abuse you have been putting your body through but we wonīt talk about it right now. Itīs in the middle of the night and you need all the sleep you can get right now to gain back your strength." He patted Nick on his hand, "Iīll give you something to make you sleep better and then weīll talk tomorrow. alright?"
Nick, too tired to object, nodded silently. Sleep would do him good and while the doctor was preparing for the shot he tried to think of something else beside the aches and the pains and the story the doctor had told him. Then another thought shot through his mind. Disturbing him.
"Where is mom and dad? The guys?"
The nurse was the one to fill his questions, at least some of them. "The guys, your friends I presume." Nick nodded. "They have gone to a hotel to rest."
"Oh." Nick felt disappointed. Had they left him when he was being this bad off? Didnīt they care for him at all? The nurse must have seen his despair since she said with a smile, "Your friends have been here all the time ever since you were admitted. But we thought that they needed some rest and sent them to a hotel and they said that they would be back in the morning." She stroked his hair slowly, "So don't you worry Nick you will be able to meet them soon again."
The answers calmed him down, if only for a small while. Then another thought struck him. "Are my parents here too? Mom and dad? And Aaron?" Somewhere deep inside he knew what the answer would be but he could always dream, couldn't he? After all the doctor said that he had been in a bad and critical condition and they would come and see him. Wouldnīt they?
Nurse Mary's eyes darkened for a brief second before answering her young patient, "Youīre management has taken care of that part." Nick cut her off.
"So they are here then?" His hope was up at full speed since he had missed his family so much. It had been over two months since he last met them and even if they had talked every other day on the phone it wasnīt by far enough.
This time it was time for the doctor to cut in, "Iīm sorry Mr. Carter but they havenīt arrived yet. You have to talk to Mr. Pearlman or Mr. Wright about that matter."
"Oh!" It was like the air popped out from the young teen. Then he said with an apologetical smile as if to reassure himself that everything was ok, "Mom and dad are probably busy with Aaron and my sisters. That is probably why they canīt come and be with me."
"Yes probably," both the doctor and the nurse agreed but their eyes revealed something else. A doubt.
Nick blinked hard once, then twice trying to bite back the tears that threatened to spill over. He wasnīt a kid and therefore he wouldnīt allow his emotions to flow either. Closing his eyes he did his best to stay calm. But deep inside there were something else. Pain. Sorrow over being left alone.
"Nick this will burn a bit," The doctor said, doing his best to change the topic. He set the syringe to the IV line. "It will make you feel sleepy and once you wake up again you will feel better and.." The doctor didnīt have a chance to end his sentence before Nick could feel the sleep come over him like a vail.
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Inside the hotel room Kevin was tossing and turning in his bed. No matter how he tried he couldnīt get the sleep to come for him. Groaning he looked at the alarm clock just to notice that it was after 3 am. Cussing the warmth on his pillow he moved restlessly until he couldnīt take it any longer and decided to get up and get something to drink.
Sitting up he rubbed his eyes with a tired gesture. Sleeping had never been a problem to him, until lately and he knew deep inside that this was because there were so many thoughts eating him up inside. The problems felt like giant mountains and the past days revelation over how Nick had been treated from the management without them suspecting anything had him all upset.
He cussed himself for not seeing the signs about Nick's failing health and he wanted to slap his head for not doing anything about it sooner. The doctor had explained to him that eating disorders were rarely that easy to notice and that they shouldnīt blame themselves for this but instead concentrate on helping Nick to overcome the demons he was battling. The doctor had told them that eating disorders often came from bad self confidence and that they had to do what they could to help Nick get over these issues.
As soon as Kevin had been alone he had cried. Cried over Nick but also over his own blindness. He was a man of many emotions but they were not seen that often. His calm character lead people to believe that he was often taking situations at ease. This couldnīt be more wrong since there were often an inner turmoil inside him. A turmoil that ate him up from inside and that he didnīt let show that often. After all he was the leader off the group, their big brother, and if anyone should have seen what was coming for Nick it was him. But instead he had been blind as a bat.
Filling his glass with coldwater he took a sip while thinking about he recent events and what to do with the situation at hand. The guys had talked over everything earlier on that night and they had all agreed that something had to be done. The management had to pay for the damage that they had caused. Once Kevin had got back to the hotel he had called his lawyer friend, who had agreed to meet the guys and their families as soon as they were back in Florida.
The only part that they hadnīt been able to reach for an positive answer was Nickīs parents. Kevin had hoped that he would be able to talk with them as soon as they would arrive at the hospital, but when Johnny had told them that they had canceled their flight due to some charity event that Aaron would preform in, his hope quickly dimished. They had stated that Nick was doing so much better and that they would meet him down in Tampa as soon as he would be able to come back home again.
This comment had made Kevin so angry that he had to put a lid on his feelings. Wasnīt their oldest son more worth than that?
The rest off the men was also pissed as hell but luckily Denise, Ajīs mother, had instead joined them and according to the Carters they had "faith" in both Mrs. McLean as well as the management and they trusted their son in their hands, like they put it so nicely.
This was just a load of bullshit!
Kevin suspected that it had either to do with money or the fact that they were busy tending to other, more high social events, that had lead them to take the decision not to come and visit their sick son. The high thoughts Kevin had for the Carters had quickly dimished and now all he felt was resentment. How they could chose to be with Aaron i Las Vegas instead of being with their sick son was beyond his comprehention. But it was their choice and there were little he could do with changing their mind.
His thoughts went once again over to his little brother and the scare that he had put them all through. The doctor had told them that Nick had been admitted he had been in a really bad condition and the doctors words that if they hadnīt stopped for an emergency landing their friend could have been dead by now, scared him more than he would ever admit.
The thought of loosing his friend, his little brother was so terrible and surreal that he couldnīt bear to say it out loud. Fortunatly the doctor had informed them that their friend was stable and in a much better condition then anyone off them had dared to hope for. Especially while not staying at the hospital too long.
Kevin smiled.
Nick was such an fighter. A real trooper.
With that last thought in his mind, he decided to crawl back to bed. There were soon dawn and a new morning was broken. A day fulled with several hard trials. As if Nick's sickness wasnīt bad enough the press got a hint of all of this. They had swarmed all around them, trying to get a picture of the men as well as an interview. Management had been very strict about all of this and neiter Pearlman nor Wright had cleared it. They were being much too afraid that this whole story, these accussations off them misstreating the guys, would be out in the press. It would be bad if the truth came out for once instead of lies. Lies and yet more lies.
The official reason for Nickīs conditon was that he was suffering from an particulary nasty stomach bug that left him dehydrated and weak. And in the end hospitalized.
But Kevin knew that the media was smarter than that and soon the whole issue would be out in the news.
There were so many mixed feelings. One part of him wanted it all to leak out. Wanted the truth to be told while another part said that it would be wiser if no one knew the reason for his friends sickness. He wanted to spare Nick the pain and humiliation and even if they hated to lie for the fans and the media this was the better deal. After all the whole world didn't need to know about their little brothers personal battles with his demons.
Sighing he closed his eyes. Hoping for sleep to come and take away the pain he felt in his heart. Hoping for at least a few hours shut eye before the carousel was on the roll again...
