“Nick, would you hurry up? We’ve got to go!” Johnny yelled at the bathroom door.

Rolling his eyes at the closed door, Nick sighed. “Can’t I have a few minutes in here? I just sat down!”

“I don’t need to know the personal issues, we have a schedule to keep, can’t your bowels wait until after the show?”

Pulling his pants up, Nick grumbled. “I guess I don’t have a choice then, do I?”

“No you don’t. The rest of the guys are waiting on you again!”

Glancing at his face in the mirror, Nick raked a hand through his touseled blonde hair. “Why even bother?” he mumbled at his reflection, then swung the door open, nearly knocking Johnny down.

“You look like shit Carter,” Johnny announced.

“That’s because you didn’t let me shit!” he snapped back.

“We can’t wait for two days dumbass, cause it would take that long with you, you’re always full of shit,” AJ pointed out, laughing.

Nick narrowed his eyes at the snickering group and stuck his middle finger out defiantly.

Kevin rushed up and smacked the back of Nick’s head.

“Ouch, what the hell did you do that for?” Nick scowled, rubbing the offended area.

“You needed it, straighten up, okay? Let’s have a pleasant day for a change,” Kevin begged.

“Why do you always blame me for having bad days?” Nick whined.

“Because it’s usually you that has something to complain about Kaos and it gets a little old,” AJ rasped.

“I-I-I---”

“I-I-I,” AJ interrupted Nick’s stuttering, mocking him. “I always fuck up!”

“FUCK YOU!”

A surprised stage hand stood in the open doorway to the greenroom. “Um, they’re ready for you.”

Leaving the greenroom, Johnny grabbed Nick by the arm, pulling him close to his side. “Why are you wearing that?”

“Because it’s mine? I dunno, why are you asking me that?” Nick asked defensively.

“I specifically told you what to wear and you chose to ignore me? I think we have to go over your contract again so you know what’s expected of you,” Johnny hissed.

Nick looked down at his maroon colored tee shirt. “What’s wrong with this?”

“It makes you look fat and sloppy, and that’s something else I need to talk with you about, I’ve heard about your bingeing the other day.”

Nick kept his eyes ahead, wondering how Johnny found out about the McDonald’s binge, but decided to act like he didn’t hear him. Stepping up his pace, Johnny kept alongside, glaring at him.

Relieved that they had reached the soundstage, Nick left Johnny’s side and thankfully walked to where the stagehand directed him to sit.

“No, Nick needs to sit between Kevin and Brian,” Johnny announced.

Not arguing, Nick dutifully took his place between Kevin and Brian. Kevin was going to be sitting the closest to Katie Couric, since he was the ‘unofficial spokesperson’ for the group, which suited all the guys fine. Nick started to squirm in his seat, a mixture of being nervous as well as his intestines telling him that he needed to be in the bathroom instead of live tv calling out to him. Kevin elbowed Nick swiftly in the side.

“Stop doing that,” he whispered in his ear and then quickly planted a phoney smile on his face when Katie walked across the stage, flanked by several members of the Today Show staff, fussing with her hair and makeup.

“And we’re on in five.....four.....three.....two....”

“We have Kevin, Nick, AJ, Howie and Brian from The Backstreet Boys this morning, how are you guys doing today?” Katie chirped.

“Fine..good.” Was the mixture of replies coming from the group.

“Tell me a little bit about what’s been going on for the group.”

“Well,” Kevin started out in his long, Kentucky drawl. “besides rehearsals for choreography for our upcoming European tour, it’s been meetings and working on songs.”

After a few minutes of talking to each member of the group, Katie finally directed her attention to Nick. “That’s good, Nick, what do you think about all of this excitement, since you’re the youngest member of the group. How old are you?”

“I’m eighteen, I-I j-just turned eighteen last week,” he proudly announced.

“Happy Birthday Nick,” Katie grinned. In the background, Howie, AJ and Brian were softly singing the Happy Birthday song.

“Have you done anything special to prepare yourself for the grueling schedule? It looks like they have you guys hopping all over the place in Europe, it’s amazing!”

“Well, I’ve tried b-brushing up on S-Spanish s-since they speak that in Spain,” Nick confidently offered, ignoring the look he got from Kevin after uttering his remark.

“You’ve already been overseas haven’t you?”

“Yep,” Nick replied, trying to push away the overwhelming feelings of nervousness.

“Anything interesting happen?” Katie pressed.

“Not really but d-did you know that the water in the toilet goes backwards?”

Brian and Kevin groaned and Kevin smiled apologetically to Katie who was having a hard time keeping her laughter in check, wiping tears away from her eyes.

“The boys will be singing a song for us after we return from a break,” Katie giggled, shaking her head.

When the light on the camera went off, Katie jumped up from her seat to attend to matters away from where the boys were sitting. Kevin quickly swatted Nick on the back of the head.

“Ouch, what the hell did you do that for?” Nick yelped, tears stinging his eyes.

“The water goes backwards in the toilet? They speak Spanish in Spain?” Kevin grumbled.

“Well they do and it does happen,” Nick defended his remarks.

“Keep your mouth shut, you sound like an idiot, besides, you’re studdering again, that makes you sound stupid!” It was Johnny that rushed up towards the group, giving them a quick coaching.

“Leave Nicky alone,” Brian glared at the older man.

“Mind your own business! Worry about yourself, okay?” Johnny replied.

“I want all of you over on those stools, please hurry, we’ll be back in three minutes,” a stagehand stated as he pointed with a clipboard to the set of five barstools with microphones in front of each seat.

Sliding onto the chairs, Nick jumped a little too hard and caused his stool to tumble over, landing him flat on his back.

“Way to go Ace,” AJ cackled, holding a hand out to a wide eyed Nick.

“And we’re ready in five.....four....three....”

“Are you okay over there Nick?” Katie asked as the camera clicked back on it’s live feed.

Red faced, Nick could only manage to offer a “thumbs up” from where he stood as a stage hand adjusted the mike and the stool back into position, AJ and Brian howling with laughter.

“Alright, hopefully, without anymore problems from Nick, here’s The Backstreet Boys,” Katie grinned.

“Nick isn’t up from his nap yet?” Brian asked as sat down at the small table in the hotel room.

Munching on a piece of toast, Kevin folded the newspaper in half glancing at his cousin briefly. “He’s up, Johnny has him cornered in the other room talking to him.”

Brian pulled the sports section of the paper from under the pile in front of Kevin. “Oh. What is he talking to Nick about now?”

Kevin only offered a shrug of his shoulders in reply.

“Oh, come on Kev, you have to know what’s going on!” Brian groaned.

“Don’t know... don’t care to know,” Kevin replied, flipping the paper over.

Brian eyed the wall towards the other room warily. “You know I’ll get zero info from the boy when he gets done.”

“Well, if it’s any of our business, we’ll be told,” Kevin replied.

“I suppose.” Brian sat for a moment, staring at the paper, thinking. “Hey, what time do we have to be at the venue for rehearsal?”

Kevin glanced at his watch. “A little less than two hours from now but Johnny said something about wardrobe fittings here.”

“Wardrobe? Why now?” Brian sighed.

“It’s something for the European tour.”

“Wonder what stupid thing they’ll insist on us wear----”

Brian’s comments were cut short when muffled yelling could be heard coming from the other room. Brian’s eyes met Kevin’s as they listened to the yelling. When the yelling stopped, the door to the room flung open, hitting the wall and Nick rushed in, face flushed with anger.

“How’d the meeting go with Johnny?” Brian casually asked.

Nick took his arm and swiped it across the desktop, clearing all the items that were laying ontop, sending it crashing to the floor.

“Okay, I’m taking that as a ‘not-so-good?’ ”

As Johnny entered the room through the wide open door, Nick sailed past him into the bathroom, slamming the door closed.

“Johnny, what the heck did you and Nick talk about?” Brian questioned when the bathroom door banged closed. “He seems to be really upset about something.”

“It has nothing to do concerning you, here, this is yours,” Johnny stated, handing Brian a clothes hanger with a blue colored costume draped over it. “And this one is yours Kevin.”

“This is for Europe?” Kevin asked as he looked at the gaudy blue colored costume.

“Yes, and these have been custom tailored to fit your bodies according to contract specs so I will assume that there won’t be any problems with the wardrobe,” Johnny commented as he walked towards the closed bathroom door.

Johnny softly knocked on the door. “Nickolas, I’ve got your costume for you to try on.”

“I’m fine, just leave it on the bed,” Nick grumbled from the other side of the door.

“No, I need you to try this on now.”

“I don’t want to now, I told you to leave it on the bed!” Nick shouted through the door.

“Nick?” Johnny persisted.

“Leave the boy alone for now Johnny, you’ve got him upset over whatever the hell you two were discussing earlier. Just let it go for now, I’ll make sure he tries on that hideous outfit you seem to be so damned insistant on,” Kevin spat.

“I’ve never seen this shade of blue before,” Brian mused as he held the costume up by it’s shoulders.

“It’s my mother’s favorite color,” Johnny defended as he gently laid Nick’s wardrobe out ontop of the bedspread.

“And it’s a nice shade too,” Brian quickly added, rolling his eyes behind closed lids.

“I guess we’ll be meeting you in the lobby by three then, okay?” Johnny questioned as he strode towards the door.

“Yep, three,” Kevin replied.

With that stated, Johnny left the room, softly closing the door behind him.

“Who the heck picks these colors?” Brian asked, tossing the outfit over a chair.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders. “Color blind monks?”

The bathroom door banged open with Nick storming out and over towards his suitcase.

“Hey, Nick...”

“Leave me alone, I don’t want to talk about it,” Nick snapped, interrupting Kevin.

“I wasn’t gonna ask you about the talk you had with Johnny, I was gonna ask--”

“I said leave me alone!” Nick cried out.

Brian looked at Kevin, his eyebrow arched in question and then back over towards their younger brother, watching him as he started throwing clothes out of his bag.

“I HATE THIS! I HATE THAT SONOFABITCH! HE CAN GO TO HELL!”

Kevin winced at the screaming coming from Nick. “Um, yeah, okay.”

“Nick did you want a soda?” Brian offered, sticking his head in the mini bar fridge.

“No I do not want a soda, I do not need a soda. I do not need anything.”

“Nick, what the hell’s going on?” Brian sighed in an exasperated tone.

“Nothing, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Everyone just leave me alone.”

Grabbing a change of clothes off the floor, Nick trudged back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He knew that Kevin and Brian would be talking about him, but he didn’t care. According to Johnny he was a fuck up and did nothing but hurt the band’s image. Johnny told him he was starting to become a fat, worthless slob and if he didn’t shape up he was out of the group. Johnny told him that he had to be perfect. Nick thought he was doing a good job, he was being himself, but now he was told that he was anything less than perfect.

Feeling hatred and low self esteem in his body, Nick turned the shower on as hot as he dared, deep inside hoping it would burn him but he knew it wasn’t hot enough to do that, and let the water pour over him as he stood in the stall and cried.