"Hi J, howīs it goin’?" Brian asked, slapping his hand on his friend’s back. "Did it get late?" His witty squirrel eyes peered at the man with the slumped posture infront of him.
A grunt was heard, "Man!" AJ, who sat and picked at his breakfast not having any appetite whatsoever after last nights partying, looked up with blearly eyes. "How can you be so damn cheerful this early in the morning?"
"Early?" Brian said with a grin on his face, "Jay itīs ten o clock. It’s almost time for lunch."
"Donīt mention food," AJ groaned, pushing the plate away from him with a disgusted frown.
"That bad?" Brian chuckled, "Jeeze you should have stopped when we told you to. Dude you sure are hungover."
"Yeah.....yeah." AJ mumbled, waving Brian away. "Rub it in." Hanging his head low he moaned, "Man I feel like shit. I need some tylenol."
"I can tell buddy," He patted AJ on his shoulder again, lightly, "But you better get into shape since we have an interview for MTV after lunch."
"You gotta be shitting me!" his friend said, peering under his dark sun glasses. "For real?"
"Yup. Lou came to me and asked me to tell you."
AJ groaned miserably, rubbing his temples in round smooth circles, "There is no way in hell Iīm doing that today." He pouted like a small kid who refused to eat dinner. "I think Iīve caught whatever shit Nick has."
Brian laughed at his friend, "Dude, what you have isnīt the FLU, it’s more a bad case of inducing too much intoxicating substances, also known as a hangover!"
"Whatever." AJ was in no mood to get into an argument. He sighed loudly before continuing,"Nick is still sick."
Brian nodded, sadly, "Yeah, I know." He sat down next to his long time friend. "But when did that ever stop Lou?"
AJ glared at his brother."What? Youīre not saying that the bastard is going to make Nick do that interview too? That is fucking insane. He will hurl on the camera!" He shook his head, still taking in the information. "You gotta be kidding, man. Nicky is no shape to do anything besides shit and moan!."
"AJeee!" He sighed, "Yeah I know it would be bad. I thought that Nick was going to pass out yesterday."
AJ ran his hand with a tired gesture through his spiked hair. "Tell me about it. The dude was so sick yesterday that even Johnny got concerned and he stayed with him all night. He was up taking care of Nicky when I came back."
"He did?" Brian sounded surprised, adding with a frown, "Dude where did you get to sleep then?"
A grin lit up AJīs face, "Who said that I did?"
"JAY?? Youīre not saying that you have been up all night!"
AJ kept grinning. "No not really."
"What do you mean then?" Brian frowned. "Been drinking?"
"Eh.." AJ laughed. 'God Brian can be so gullible,' he thought before adding, "You know that tall blonde with those reindeer legs?
"Mhmm.."
"Ka..Katrin something?"
"Yes?" There were impatience in his friends voice.
"Patience.... patience," AJ said with a grin, just to be hit on his head with a newspaper, "Ouch that hurt," he muttered, rubbing his sore skull. Brian batteling with him didnīt make him feel any better.
"Now spill it!" Brian hissed through gritted teeth. He held up the newspaper, threathingly. "Or else.."
"Okay, okay," AJ laughed, ducking down."Okay she is the one I spent the night with!"
Brian didnīt sound too pleased, "Okay and I take it that you two didnīt actually sleep."
"Nope." AJ grinned, "She was a real wild cat...meeoowww. That girl sure could scratch!"
There was no amusement in his friends eyes, "I donīt want to spoil your wild night but..," he started, getting interrupted.
"Then donīt." The tone was hard.
Ignoring the comment Brian continued, "I wonder what Amanda will say when she finds out that you have been cheating on her?"
AJ narrowed his eyes, "Nothing 'cause she wonīt."
Brian shook his head, "You canīt go on and play with others while you are with her. She will leave you once she finds out. If you love her you better stop doing this."
The words hit AJ rather hard, "That is none of your damn business." He stood up quickly, "I donīt have to sit here, listening to you preaching and acting like you never done anything bad. You are so fucking righteous that it makes me sick!" With that he pushed the chair aside walking briskly out of the room.
"Bone!" Brian called towards his friend, getting no response. When the skinny man was out of the picture he leaned his head in his hands, groaning.
Everything was falling apart!
They were on their midst of their success and it was all turning into pieces. AJ was partying more and more and had a new girl every night. This while he was still living with Amanda. He was acting like a rebel without a brain! Brian snorted. AJ often tried to act cool, when all he was, was a large chickenshit!
Nick on the other hand was someone that Brian was getting seriously concerned about. He was being moody all the time, very far from his own happy self. More down in the dumps, depressed, overeating and catching every bug that came around. He was not in a good mental or physical state at all. Totally exhausted!
Howie was the one that was worried for his sister who was suffering from Lupus. He was not as happy and outgoing as he used to be, even if he still went out partying with AJ. Brian thought that he needed a girl, but he had never seen Sweet D' date the one and same girl several times. He knew that Howie had an eye on one of the makeup girls named Sondra, but he was much too shy to hit on her.
Kevin, was exhausting himself. The flu had hit him pretty hard and he was still not entirely over that bug. He wanted everything to be perfect, and this he rubbed off to the rest of them. Ironically it was Kevin and Nick who wanted it all to do perfect! Brian knew that Kevin was also looking out for the group like a big brother and he had too many wrinkles on his forehead for someone that still was young. He also missed his girlfriend Kristen. Alot. But what bugged him the most was that he thought that their management was screwing them all. He was doing his best to try to find a legal loop hole in the contract so they could leave the Wright’s, but especially Lou Pearlman!
Brian had his own problems. Healthwise. His doctor wanted him to have surgery as soon as possible, but his management had refused. They were over booked, and he had to do this European tour before he could get under the knife. When Brian had tried to explain that this was not something that he could afford to be without, Lou had answered with an ultimatum. Push the date back or look for another job! In fact they could all look for another job!
The smiles. The Backstreet smiles that they plastered on their faces were all false. Not one time did they hint how desperate and sad they felt deep inside. No one could tell, and it was all part of the business-
Smile, smile, smile.
The smell of sickness hung low in the hotelroom and the patient in question, sat in bed propped up against several pillows, a tray on his legs. Hot steaming tea and two pieces of toast lay infront of him. "Johnny, Iīm not sure that I can eat anything."
"You have to eat something so that you get better." Frowning he took in Nick’s pale complexion. It wasnīt too long ago that the boy had stopped turning his body inside and out and after a couple of hours of restless sleep, it was time to try and get some nutrition into the poor kid. It had been a violent but fast "bug".
"I canīt eat," the teen whined, sounding like a five year old, tears filling his eyes. He pushed the tray away, "Iīm sorry." The voice was weak and shaky.
"Itīs okay kid." Noticing Nick fidgeting in bed, looking uncomfortable he asked, "You need to go again?"
"No!" A hint of red spread on the boy’s cheeks.
"Hey it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have the runs sometime." Nick blushed even more. Looking at the kid with compassion Johnny felt sorry for him. Being sick was bad, but being sick stuck in a small hotel room thousands and thousands miles from home was down right awful. "What is it then?"
Nick blushed again, "Um..uh my ass hurts."
He sounded so patethic that Johnny had to smile, "Oh Nicky Iīm sorry but I canīt do anything about that." A small chuckle escaped, "Maybe you can use baby tissues next time you have to wipe your ass."
"Ha ha ha, not funny," Nick muttered, "I donīt think that you would be laughing if you were in my shoes."
"Yes I know," Johnny patted him lightly on his shoulder, "Listen kid, I know that you feel bad, but I want you to try to rest up so you can manage it at the concert this evening."
Nick wanted to cry. He felt like "shit", but he still knew his obligations. No matter how bad he felt he wouldnīt be able to get out of that show. It wasnīt the first time he had preformed sick, and he guessed that it wouldnīt be his last either. Crawling deep under his warm, comforting covers he watched the older man walking around in the room, picking up clothes.
Nick smiled briefly.
"What?" Johnny asked, a bit puzzled, "Something wrong?"
"No," The teen shook his head, "I just thought it was kind of funny to see you act like my dad." Closing his mouth he awaited the reaction. 'Shit why did I have to say that?' Johnny didnīt like being laughed at and it wasnīt long ago that the manager had been on his case all the time. Eyes nervously fickered as he held his breath.
"Nick, I AM a dad!" the black man chuckled. A knock on the door interupted their conversation. It was probably one of the boy’s that came to see how their little brother were doing. The knock was persistant. "Iīm coming." Johnny shouted back, opening the door, just to be met with his boss, Nick’s head manager Lou Pearlman.
"What do YOU want?"
"I came to see how Nick was doing."
Johnny contemplated whether or not he should shut the door in the manager’s face, then decided against it, "Donīt you think that you have done enough damage?" he hissed.
Narrowing his eyes, cold as stone, Lou commented, "Watch it Wright. I can just as easily make that call and you." He pointed at Johnny’s chest with the newspaper he had rolled up in his hand, "are gone..history!"
Upon hearing this, Johnny backed away letting the manager inside.
"I knew that you would come to your senses," Lou grinned and Johnny glared.
In his bed Nick watched the scenario, puzzled. Why were the manager’s acting so hostile towards each other? Did it have something to do with him? His thoughts were interrupted by Lou’s booming voice.
"Hi Nick. How are you feeling?" He walked up to the teen placing a hand on his forehead, not waiting for an answer he said, "You seem alot better and Iīm sure that you will recover in no time." He sat down on the large armchair, "Iīll take over Nick for now, you go and grab some breakfast." He waved the manager away, "You go!"
Johnny snorted, suspecious over the sudden friendly touch that his boss showed. Shaking his head he said, "No I can order something up, besides Nick needs me."
Nick thinking that he was doing the men a favor said with a weak smile, "I feel much better, I can manage on my own."
"No," Johnny shook his head, suddenly feeling protective. It was something in Lou’s eyes that he didnīt like and he feared that the manger didnīt have all good intentions with his visit. "Iīll stay here with Nick."
“Donīt be so stubborn." Lou laughed, "You heard what the boy said. He is feeling better, besides me and Nick will manage fine." He looked at the teen who looked ready to crawl out of his skin. Sensing the fear he continued, "Itīs nothing to be afraid of, you and me will just have a short talk."
"Okay," Nick didnīt believe him. Neither did Johnny. "No Lou Iīll stay. Nick might get sick again. He even said he didnīt feel that good, didnīt you kid?" He hinted towards Nick that he would follow his tracks but the kid was either stupid, feverish or plain scared.
"I am fine."
"Oh that is good." Lou laughed with a fake cheerfulness. "I told you that you would recover pretty fast from this flu bug." He ruffled Nicks hair. The teen stiffened.
"Flu my ass!" Johnny snorted.
"What did you say?" There was a hidden treath in his tone, "You go down and get something to eat, you look like you need some rest." Johnny was about to object when Lou added, "Iīm going to talk to Nick ALONE."
"Okay." The manager knew when he was defeated, "Iīll be back soon," he said to Nick a bit guiltily. He really didnīt want to leave the kid in Mr. Pearlman’s hands.
Nick nodded. Ever since Johnny had taken care of him last night he had grown to like the manager a bit better. If someone had told either of the guys a few days earlier that they would actually talk to each other without biting their head off they would have laughed, saying that the person was crazy.
"Sooo," Lou said slowly when Johnny closed the door behind him, "You managed to catch another bug didnīt you?" The friendly cheerfulness was gone, replaced with a hard and icy tone.
"I..d Iīm so..sorry," Nick stuttered, afraid that Lou would bash at him for the accident yesterday. "I..I didnīt..me...mean it. It..it just came." He blushed.
"Well next time you feel sick at least try to make it to the bathroom. Thingīs wonīt get so messy then." With a sigh he continued, "You managed to disgrace yourself infront of the whole music industry. They thought that you were drunk and I had to explain to them that you had the flu." He stopped for the moment, "If they believed me I have no idea."
"Thank you," Nick squeeked. Even if Lou wasnīt high on his list he still felt bad for hosing him down. Thinking that he had gotten away with it all and that the manager wasnīt going to bawl him out, the man suddenly threw the newspaper on the bed infront of him. Nick frowned with surprise.
"But that doesnīt justify looking like THAT!" He pointed with hís thick finger on a picture at the front page.
Reluctantly Nick looked at the big picture. It was a photo of them in show and under and the head line was; "Backstreet Boys hits the floor: 1998’s Best Pop Group." To him it didn’t look that bad. Not understanding what the manager was aiming for he asked, "I think it looks pretty good."
"It does?" Lou said sarcastically, "Take a closer look then."
Stunned Nick obeyed the older man. Taking a closer look through bleary feverish eyes he stared at the oject infront of him. What he saw hitting him like a slap in his face!
The picture stared back at him with such violence that he could have puked on the spot. He looked like a fat whale! The clothes seemed to be several sizes too small. They were clinging to him like a second skin and he looked like he had a big beer belly. Eighteen years old and he looked like a complete mess!
What was worst was the sentences under the picture. The ones about him!
’Even if the group is on the top, the performance had little to desire. The youngest member in the group, Nick Carter’s performance was mediocre. The Backstreet Baby is getting fat and he was breathing heavily into the microphone. He better work on that excerise if he wants to stay on top for long.’
The words hit him worse than if someone had shot him. He looked away, not wanting to even touch the newspaper. It grossed him out. How could someone be so cruel to write such nasty things was beyond his imagination! Didnīt they know that he was a human like everyone else, even if he was famous? It hurt him so much that he felt his eyes prick with tears.
Was he that fat and ugly?
Sensing Nick’s depressed mood Lou filled it up even more, "There you go Nicky, now you maybe see that we are not the only ones noticing that you are putting on too much weight." Staring at the teen he continued, "You better do something about your weight or you will end up looking like Elvis..in his later years." He chuckled at his own joke.
'Like you are the one that should talk fat bastard,' Nick thought, wiping his nose and eyes with the back of his hand. This was one of his worst nightmares. He had tried so hard to loose the pounds he had put on, yet he always ended up overeating again. It was a viscous circle that he couldnīt get out from.
He needed help!
A hand touched his shoulder. "Boy, I know it is hard to loose weight." The manager’s voice held a false tone of compassion. Nick nodded, holding his head down. Lou used the moment, "But I can help you."
Nick still not looking up muttered, "Yeah right, I will always be a fatass!" Life sucked so bad. He felt like he would becoming physically ill from being disgusted with himself. 'Why can’t people ever give me break?' he thought, feeling down.
"No," Lou squeezed the teen’s shoulder. "I know a substance that you can drink. Itīs not painful and you loose weight at the same time as you can eat all that you want."
The words held Nick’s interest, "Really?" He couldnīt believe what he was hearing. Was there actually a way to get rid of his fat without having to starve himself? Could he actually eat normally? "Is it dangerous?"
"No," Lou shook his head. "This is something that models often do, so itīs safe." He smiled friendly towards the young teen, noticing the excitement in the teen’s blue eyes.
"Then what is it? What is the secret formula?" Nick looked like a kid on Christmas Eve.
"Well actually I have it here but.." the manager stopped for a moment, "But Iīm not too sure that you should use it."
"Why?" Nick was almost screaming in that high tone that he did when he was either nervous or upset. "You said that it wasnīt dangerous or anything. Why canīt I use it?" There were a sigh of disappointment.
"Because it may cause you a little discomfort."
"What discomfort?" Nick sounded suspescious. "Will I get sick?"
"Oh noo, nothing like that. No no, it is more that it MIGHT cause you a little bit of an upset stomach. That is all." He smiled comfortingly towards the teen.
"Ok," Nick thought for a moment, "I guess that I can live with that, as long as I donīt get sick," he added with the speed of light.
The manager shook his head again, "No you wonīt. But I donīt want you to say anything to anyone about this."
"Why?"
"Because I think that the other boys have more important things on their mind than being concerned over that you are on a diet. Donīt you think so too, Nick?"
Scratching his head the teen mumbled, "Yeah I guess youīre right."
"Good." Lou smiled, patting the teen on his head, "then this is a deal between us two."
"Does Johnny know about this?"
"Yes," Lou nodded, "and he thinks that it is a good method too."
"He does?" Nick thought again, 'If Johnny thinks it is okay then it has to be. He never trusted Lou, but Johnny had proved to be pretty cool taking care of him and if the black man said that something was okay it was'. "Okay done deal then." He smiled. "Where is that magic stuff?" He looked expectantly over at the manager. "Are you hiding it?"
"Noo," Lou laughed, "as a matter of fact you already have it."
"I do?" Nick seemed confused.
"Yes, it is that small bottle that I handed to you yesterday."
Nick jerked back,uttering with a shrill voice, "You mean that stuff that made me sooo sick! There is no way that Iīm touching that stuff." Disappointment as well as fright shone in his eyes, seeing his only chance to get slim go down the drain.
"Calm down boy," Lou said putting his hand on Nick’s shoulder, but the damage was already done. Nick shrugged away. "Calm down no one wants to hurt you."
"Yeah," he muttered, "tell that to my stomach." He winced as the memory of the past 12 hours of hell flashed up infront of him.
"Son." Lou narrowed his eyes, "do I look like someone that wants to hurt you?"
Nick fidgeted uncomfortably, not knowing what to say or do. His intuition told him that Lou was not being nice to him, but his mind said that his manager would do nothing to hurt him. "No, I guess not." Nick mumbled, not looking the manager in his eyes.
"Good, well I thought so." Lou smiled. "The reason why you got so sick is beacuse the liquid flushed all that fat enzymes out of your system. Pretty soon you will be cleaned out and then you will loose weight!"
"Cleaned out?" Nick frowned. This sounded more and more disgusting. GROSS!!! He thought about backing out.
Sensing this Lou said quickly,"Donīt worry son, if you dont like it I promise that you can stop, okay? Just give it a chance first!"
Nodding, Nick bit his lip. He really didnīt want to do this, but he felt like he had no choice. He wanted, he needed to become thin, or else the fans and everybody would stop liking him. Stop loving him. He needed the attention!
"Okay Iīll do it." Nick mumbled, swallowing hard.
"Good," Lou grinned, "where did you put that bottle?"
"In my backpack," Nick said with certain hesitation.
"Okay," Lou searched down his backpack before coming up with the wanted item."You wonīt regret this" he patted the bottle like it was a jewelery. Then he handed it over to Nick who accepted it with hesitation, "Go on," Lou urged the teen, smiling towards him.
Taking the small plastic bottle, Nick looked at it before turning the cap off, taking a small taste. 'I hope youīre right, I really do!'
