Brian ran his hand through his tousled hair. He had a serious case of hot hair and no matter how much he worked on it this morning it would still look like he had put it in a tumbler. He seriously debated that if Leigh caught a hint of this she would send him to a dog trimmer!

His hair was not all that was going bad for Mr. Littrell that morning. Both he and Nick had overslept and since Nick had taken the place in the bathroom almost immediately, he had to dress and make himself presentable in the best way he could without any water or any hair products. He was also dying to use the wanted facilities and if he hadn´t been so tired he would have ran down the lobby to take a leak. The down point was that security was probably at breakfast this hour and the lobby would no doubt be swarming with fans trying to get a glimpse of them.

This was one of the many disadvantages of being a celebrity.

As usual when it came to Frick and Frack they were late for breakfast and they had about half an hour before they had to get on the bus to go to the next city and to the next concert. They had very little time to pack between the cities so Brian tried to keep it as neat as possible, using a sparse amount of clothes. The same couldn’t be said for his friend who was throwing stuff all around the hotel room as usual.

Looking around the mess in the room, Brian sighed deeply. This would take forever to clean up, but since Nick had spent his better part of the morning inside the tiled facilities and there was no chance of him getting out of there in the near future, Brian had dutifully started to pick it all up, throwing it into Nick’s suitcase. He wished that the young teen would think a step or two before creating another bomb explosion in their room. After all he wasn’t his mother who could be there to clean up after him!

While he was picking up socks and magazines and cd´s that Nick had "happened" to throw out on the floor because he was looking for just the right kind of item, he was calling out to the teen every so often. Just to hear if he was still alive.

Why would you otherwise spend a great deal inside a bathroom? Unless you were Howie fixing your hair!

With a frown he threw the last of the clothes in the suitcase, zipping it up. Mentally he decided that this was the last time he did his friend such a "favor." Next time he wouldn´t care if Nick left all his clothes in the hotel, or if he even got on the bus. It wasn´t the first time that he had decided to call it quits with giving a helping hand, just hours later withdrew his decision. Brian was by no meanings being a wuss, no, he was more helping his friend to cope with the business. Sometimes he wondered if it was all worth it. The music industry was dirty and Brian with his high standards thought it stinked at times.

Life could be too tough touring.

Lately he had been suffering from serious homesickness and there were times when he just wanted to buy a plane ticket back home and never set his foot into this job again. But then it always happened, something that made him change his mind. Often it was Nick doing a prank or two or meeting a fans that meant special to him and he was back on the road again.

Living out of a suitcase had become their life in the past years and if he could summon up all the downtime he had for the last two years, he recalled that it added up to like three months! Three months to spend with his friends and family over a 2 year period was way too little. Even Howie who loved being on the road had complained over this.

This tour was stressing them out and they were running around like they had fire in their pants, doing promotions and concerts all over Europe. The schedule was inhumane and the days off were numbered! All of the boys were used to running at high speed, but this was something out of the ordinary. Brian thought that this was worst for Nick. He was getting black and blue bags under his eyes from sleep deprivation and the happy smile that always toyed at his lips were rarely seen these days. This followed that the pranks that he had as a trade mark were not committed so often either. In short he didn´t recognize his friend! When trying to encounter this with Kevin, the tall man had told him that Nick was just being a normal teen with moodiness and raging hormones and that this was nothing to be concerned about. Coming from the most neurotic person in the group, Brian had left it at that.

After last nights hour long phone call with his girlfriend, Brian could have given anything to get back to the States. For a brief moment he thought about leaving it all, claiming that he had been abducted by aliens, but when Nick came back from one of his so called night walks strolling around in the hotel hallways acting like something was even more wrong than usual he had gotten really concerned.

Kaos was Kaos and he could do stuff that no ordinary person would ever think of. This time he had acted like the world’s problems weighed on his shoulders. Whenever Nick was feeling low or sick he had a habit of digging himself into a hole, this time it was something entirely different. It was like he was seriously depressed. Any attempt to cheer the teen up or talk failed. Instead Nick had pulled the covers over his head refusing to talk and finally Brian gave up. p>

Catching a glance at the travelclock on the bedstand he saw that they were late for breakfast. Neither Lou or Johnny would be happy over this. He had to get his friend out of the bathroom. Ratteling on the door handle he yelled, "Nick, come on. We´ve gotta get going." When there was no response he yelled, "Dude you´ve been in there for ages."

"Leave me alone!"

Brian pricked up his ears. He thought he heard Nick’s voice thick with tears. This had him even more worried, banging on the door, "Nick?"

An irritated groan was heard. "I said I´ll be done in a sec." Then there was a muffled mutter, " Jeeze can´t a man take a dump in peace in this place?"

Satisfied that his friend seemed to be fine, Brian chuckled, "Sure man, just don´t leave the bathroom stinking. I have to use it too when I get back." Being a male he never missed the opportunity to tease often done with a humorous touch of love.

"Dude, that you should have said before!" the teen mumbled from the other end and sound of a toilet roll razzle could be heard.

The Kentuckian laughed, "Well man at at least do me the favor to spray some airfreshner when you´re done." He heard a groan as a response. Smiling, Brian decided that it was enough teasing for the time being. "We´ve got to go now if we want any breakfast. Then we´re leaving for the bus in less than 30 minutes. You better hurry, you know that Lou and Johnny hate it when we are late. "

"Yeah, I know." The tone a bit subdued.

"Frack man, are you ok?" His friend was much too silent this morning for Brian not to feel concerned.

"Yes!"

"You sure? I mean it isn´t your stomach that is bothering you again. Is it? Are you still having the runs?"

"Noooo!" Embarrassment evident in his voice.

"Great," Brian chuckled. That was enough of making the teen blush. "I´m going to go down for breakfast, come when you´re ready. Okay?"

"Mhmm.."

Reluctantly Brian let go off the handle. His own stomach was growling from hunger and if he didn´t hurry up he would miss the breakfast. Picking up his wallet he asked, "You want me to bring you something back?"

"No," The voice was a bit muffled. "I´m not hungry."

If his friend’s action had Brian concerned, it was nothing compared to the words that were now uttered. "Not hungry?" There were suspecion in Brian’s voice, "You haven´t overindulged again, have you?"

"No!" The teens tone held an hint of annoyance. "I´m fine. I´ll eat something on the bus instead."

"Uh huh.. Well I´m going now, you sure that you have´t changed your mind?"

"No..Jeeze Bri drop it. I said GO!"

"Ok, ok man," Brian held up his hands in defense, "I´m going. We are on the second level in the breakfast room incase you change your mind."

"I heard you. Good." The voice held no enthusiasm and this had Brian a tad worried. Nick rarely missed out from food, not even when he was sick to his bones. He was afraid that the past days flu had taking it´s toll on his friend more than he cared to admit.

Opening the door he hesitated for a moment. Looking at the closed bathroom door he thought about giving one last shot to get the teen out when he heard the toilet flush and the water tap turn on. Smiling Brian decided that Nick would be just fine.

The moment Brian shut the door Nick went out from the bathroom. He knew that he had acted both immature and strange but sometimes he just needed time for himself. It was hard to be able to have any sort of privacy when you lived 24/7 with 4 guys and a large crew. Sneaking into a bathroom was the only luxury he could afford when it came to be being alone. He needed time to think. Sometimes when he was back in Florida he took the car, drove to the forest and then sat there listening to the birds. All alone. The ocean also provided him with that safe and relaxed feeling.

Last nights encounter left him feeling down. Lou had been on his case, as always, on his weight. It was like an obsession and he was afraid that the manager wouldn´t be satisfied until he was looking down right anorectic!

'That would be the day,' he thought sarcastically. Staring in the mirror in the hotel room he decided that it would never be the case. He was carrying too much weight and it would take years to get rid of this fat. Disgusted, Nick pinched at his stomach. No matter how much he worked out he still had his father’s belly.

It was a curse. The Carter curse.

Thinking back off the past days cleaning out ritual, he picked up the small bottle from the backpack. Staring at it he decided to let that fatso Lou see who was in charge. There was no way that he was going to run after the ball as soon as the manager yelled "Fetch!" Unscrewing the bottle, he walked into the bathroom, bending over he made himself ready to pour away the substance. Once for all getting away from that crap.

Suddenly he stopped himself.

Should he trash it or should he take it? Mentally he debated if he was doing the right thing. His mind told him that he should trash it, but his self confidence told him that he had to loose the weight. He needed to be slim and stay in shape so he could keep on making his fans and management happy. No one loved a fat slob!

The nasty words the management had spat at him, and that article combined with his friends snide comments and his own need to be loved proved to be too much. His inner struggle was ripping his heart apart. He felt like he had no choice but to continue with the painful dieting.

The deamons were eating him up from inside.

In surreal slow motion he held the bottle to his lips, taking a taste even though he knew that it would make him sick. "Damned Lou," he cried out. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he felt disgusted with himself.

Why did he have to be so weak?

He wanted to bend over and gag, but stopped. It was bad enough the mess he had gotten himself into. The feeling of worthlessness rinsed over him.

He was loosing the battle and he knew it.

It was a slow day on the bus. The rain whipped against the window when they drove past endless French villages. It was like the bad weather had wiped away all the beautiful colors and wrapped it up in a dull, colorless mist. They were on their way to perform infront of 30,000 people and now three hours into the trip they had only five more to go.

. Inside all of the boys were minding their privacy.

Howie sat with his feet on the seat next to him, reading. On his lap laid a bag of gummybears, his favorite candy, and every so often his hand went down the bag grabbing a handful, stuffing himself. The Latino held a relaxed expression on his face and last nights night club adventures had left few traces. There was no hangover and he was as refreshed as always.

Furthest down in the back, behind the bunkbeds was Kevin. He was jamming away on his keyboard together with one of the band members and he was working on a new song for their upcoming album. If his cousin was playing along on an instrument Brian sat in the sofa section with his laptop on his knees, writing a long letter to Leigh Anne. The homesickness he felt for the past weeks were reaching it´s culprit. He longed for her laughter, her smile and he wanted nothing more than to be close to her. In his world she was the most perfect human being there could be. Leigh Anne Wallace was an angel.

In the seat behind Howie was AJ. The twenty year old was deep in thought as he stared out in the window. He paid no attention whatsoever to the scenery, instead it was his own guilt that was pleagueing him. The blood shot eyes under the tanned sunglasses revealed that there had been yet another wet and sleepless night. He and Howie had ended up at one of Lyons hottest strip bar and the girls and champagne had flooded in amounts. Today he was paying the price. A bad hangover combined with his inconsiderence over cheating on his girlfriend was making his life a living hell. His guilt pleauging him like fire.

But what should he do?

What could he do?

There were just too many beautiful girls in the world and he wanted them all!

Shifting uncomfortably, AJ wanted to stretch his legs. His ass hurt from sitting all morning and he needed to go pee. As if things weren´t bad enough he was dying for a smoke too. It was a drag and AJ was getting more and more bored out of his skull as the time dragged along.

On the seat across the aisle lay Nick. He had curled into a heap on the double seat and his long legs were partly laying in the aisle. The position didn´t look comfortable at all, but apparently fully acceptable for the teen since he was fast asleep. Snoring.

With a hint of disgust AJ noticed that Nick was drooling on his chin and if his friend hadn´t had such a deep wrinkle on his forehead he would have kicked his legs, telling him to stop making such a mess.

Sighing, AJ, had to do something about the situation. Standing up he nearly tripped over the blonde’s long legs. "Damn Kaos," he muttered, trying to get past the teen. Nick shifted, but he didn´t wake up. Once he got to the driver he asked the middle aged German if they could stop at the next road resturant. This was possible since they were all hungry and needed something to eat.

There were harsh words coming from the managers upfront. Obviously they were arguing over something and Johnny was talking with an irritated voice. "If you keep doing that to the boy you will end up hurting him," the black man shook his head.

"Don´t worry said, Nick is in my care." Lou said, nodding towards AJ who passed him on his way back to his seat. Then he said in a hushed tone, "I have it all under control."

A bit surprised over those words, AJ wonder what Nick had done this time to piss the managers off so much. The teen had a habit to say and do stuff that set the management off for a for a fit. Coming back to his seat he saw that the object in question was still stretched out across the aisle. Curious what he had done this time AJ kicked Nick’s legs with his foot. Not too hard, mostly to get the blonde up. Besides Nick was the little brother he never had and brothers needed to know their place.

"Ouch!"

"Wakey wakey Kaos!" he yelled into the teen’s ear.

"Knock it off Bone," Nick sneered, flinching at the sound. He wafted with his hand to get the noise away from his ears.

Ignoring this, AJ continued with his interrogation, "Man what did you do now to piss Johnny off so much?"

Confused, Nick opened his eyes, sitting up in his seat."What do YOU want?" He massaged his neck with his hand, trying to work out the knots that had been formed while he was sleeping in the awkward position.

"'Atta boy," AJ grinned, "piss Lou off so much that he keeps his hold on you."

Confused over the words, Nick shook his head to clear his mind. His face was swollen from sleep and his eyes were still half mast. "What do you mean?"

"Johnny and Lou are pissed at you for something," AJ narrowed his eyes, "what the hell did you do this time?"

"I´ve done nothing!" He whined in that annoying tone that only Nick could master. "I have no idea what you´re talking about."

Sensing that his friend really didn´t know what he was talking about he said quickly, "Chill out man. I was just asking."

"Idiot!"

AJ shook his head, "Jeeze you sure are moody these days. You´re not suffering from PMS are you?" A smiled toyed in the older man’s lips.

"NO!" Nicks blue eyes went dark. "Why are you always picking on me?"

"I´m not."

"You are too. You are always saying stuff to me and.." Nick was getting interrupted.

"Nick, I´m not your therapist. If you need to run that psychology bullshit then do it on someone else but me. That is Howie’s table." He montioned with his thumbs at the dark man behind him.

"Wha..what?" Howie looked confused. "What did I do?"

"Nothing, AJ is just being an ass." Nick complained leaning his head agaist the window. His posture were slightly hunched and he was holding a hand over his stomach like he was suffering from cramps again.

"Leave Nicky alone," Howie sighed.

"I did not.." the short man started to defend himself just to stop in midsentence. Catching one good look at the teen he noticed that his color seemed kind of off. There was something pitiful over his friend and he felt a bit bad for snapping at him in the way he had done. Rewinding the tape he leand over at him, "You´re ok man?"

"Mmmmm.." Nick shied away, his body language saying something else.

"Maybe you´re just hungry. We´re stopping soon for lunch." AJ felt obligated to make Nick feel a bit better. There was something off with his little brother and that disturbed him a bit.

"Mmm..Maybe," Nick nodded. Closing his eyes he wished that they were at the resturant soon. He needed to get off the bus. He needed his privacy.