Nick stared out the window of the shuttle van, feeling detached. He had just been lectured earlier that morning by Lou Pearlman after his obligatory weigh in and the manager was not happy with the results.

Hoping to see amazing progress when he stepped on the digital scales; Pearlman felt that they were the most accurate for keeping track of weight; Nick was shocked at what the green glowing numbers stated.

The manager was angry when he discovered that Nick had gained three pounds since the last weigh in two days ago. Because of the weight gain, Lou demanded that after the meet and greet he would like to see him back at the hotel with the bottle of diet drink in his hands.

Although Nick kept expressing his desire to stop drinking the formula, Pearlman was adamant that the process continue. He dreaded to think of what would be in store for him when they arrived back at the hotel.

A sharp poke in his right side caused Nick to jerk from his thoughts and direct his gaze inside the van. “Mmmmpf?”

“Hey..... I asked you a question.”

Nick stared for a moment at Brian while he rubbed his side. “Huh?”

“I said you look like you’ve lost your best friend. What’s wrong?”

“Just thinking, sorry,” Nick lied as he shrugged his shoulders.

Brian eyed his little brother suspiciously. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You know you’ll get worms if you bite your fingernails.”

Still biting the nail, Nick jerked and looked at Brian’s face. “Huh?”

“I just made a joke, Nick, what’s wrong? You seem more spaced out than normal.”

“My stomach aches, nothing to worry about, it’s probably nerves.” Feeling his friend’s stare, Nick turned to face him. “I’ll be fine, just leave me alone, okay?”

“Are you sure you’re gonna be up for this?”

Shifting in his seat, Nick turned his body so that he was facing the window. “I said to leave me alone,” came the icy reply.

AJ snorted. “Whoa..... dude, did you just get frostbit from Nicky?”

“Guys... please, let’s have happy faces, we’re here!” Johnny called out from the rear of the van.

Grabbing his backpack from the floor, Nick did his normal ritual of tightening the straps, the ever present panic forming a knot in the pit of his stomach as he looked out the window seeing the crowd of screaming girls gathered by the entrance. This time around, it was panic mixed with cramps that gripped his stomach.

“All set Nicky?” Brian asked, concern in his eyes.

Nick replied with a short nod.

“Wait until security detail arrives, I don’t see where the goddamn security is. What the hell!” Johnny mumbled as he started pounding numbers into his cell phone.

“It’s only probably fifty feet to the entrance, I’m sure we can manage without security,” Howie offered.

“Yeah... well you lead D, I got your back,” AJ rasped as he settled back into his seat.

“Hey, it’s not really a bad idea. Why are you guys so scared of those girls out there?”

“Um, remember Nicky about losing a kidney when he was separated from us and got slammed into the side of the tour bus?” AJ recalled.

“I seriously doubt that will happen twice. Don’t they always say, ‘Lightening doesn’t strike the same place twice?’ “

“Like I said Howie, you can go out there to the den of wolves if you want. I for one, am gonna keep my ass planted until security gets here, thank you very much.”

“Guys, we’ll run in a cluster,” Johnny directed as he shut off his cell phone.

This time Kevin Richardson whipped his head around to look at the manager. ”Run in a cluster? Did you just say run in a cluster?” he asked incredeliously.

“I didn’t think I mumbled.”

“Are you crazy!?”

“Listen, we don’t have a choice. The van taking the body guards from the hotel got stuck in traffic some accident, and we can sit here in this damn van for an hour waiting for them or we can just sprint into the lobby and get this overwith. I made my decision and you’ll have to do as I say.”

“Just peachy,” Nick muttered as he stood up. All he could do was swallow nervously as he waited for the doors to be flung open and to be herded in like cattle heading for the slaughter house.

The were the cattle and the girls were the butchers.

Suddenly, a hard shove on Nick’s back sent him flying out of the van doors. He was totally unprepared for being flung into the awaiting crowd and his feet went into overdrive trying to make a path from the van to the safety of the entrance.

”N-I-I-I-C-C-C-K-K-E-E-E-E-E!”

”OOOOFFF,” was all that Nick managed to cry out when he once again was caught up in the surging crowd and carried from the van away from his destination. Just when the tears of fear and frustration welled up into his eyes, he felt a strong tug at his backpack jerking him from the crowd.

“Run in a cluster my ass,” Kevin snapped through gritted teeth as he litterally snagged his younger brother from being torn up and carried off again. With Kevin’s guidance, Nick made it into the lobby, practically dragged on his feet backwards and sideways. There wasn’t anytime for him to turn around.

Johnny rubbed his hands together, eyeing the disheveled appearance of Nick and Kevin. “Great, now we can get started.”

“I-I almost was killed out there,” Nick squeaked.

“Carter, you blow EVERYTHING out of proportion! Now, come on, we need to keep on schedule.”

“I need to go to the bathroom Johnny,” Nick stated quietly.

“It can wait until we get back to the hotel!” the manager hissed.

Sweat started beading on the young singer’s forehead and the color was draining from his face. “Please, I’m serious! I really have to go.”

“What the hell has gotten into you Carter?” Johnny growled as he surveyed the teen squirming in front of him.

Nick glared angrily at the dark manager. “You know exactly what got into me!”

Before Johnny could reply, Nick took off towards where he thought he saw the familiar “stick figures” for restrooms, ignoring Johnny’s yells for him to come back.

“What is Nick talking about?” Kevin asked when he overheard the end of the abruptly ended conversation.

“Nothing, just forget it. I think Nick needs a little more lessons on tact is all.”

Pushing the heavy door that led to the restrooms open, Nick found himself in a narrow hall, two closed doors at the end. “Great, it’s in fricken Italian,” he mumbled as he stared at the doors. Waiting a moment, he hoped that someone would exit so he would know which one was the men’s room.

“Okay. I guess I need to take a guess then. Let’s see, UOMINI or DONNE” Nick said to himself outloud as he gestured at the doors.

Swallowing hard, Nick pushed on the door that read DONNE

“HEY! PAZZESCO!”

“Oops, I’m sorry ma’am, I was looking for my mother,” Nick apologized.

“Sick American!”

“Thank god,” Nick sighed as he stepped aside allowing the woman to walk past the threshold. He quickly pushed the correct door open to the men’s bathroom and barely had time to unfasten his pants before another round of the Milk of Magnesia diarrhea hit him with full force.

Compliments of Lou Pearlman’s Miracle Diet Drink.

Quietly, Nick waited for the bathroom to be cleared out before he left the stall, embarrassed about having the nasty spell of diarrhea. He knew he had to have cried out a few times even though he had bit his bottom lip. The cramping in his stomach was severe for some reason this morning but he knew he would have to ride it out for a little longer before he could go back to the hotel and hopefully lay down before sound check.

AJ grinned widely when Nick’s face came into view in the doorway. “Did everything come out alright?”

Letting his backpack fall onto the floor beside him with a thud, Nick groaned inwardly. Wasn’t anything sacred with Bone?

“Well, now that Nick is here, we can start the autograph session,” Johnny announced to the crowd, pausing for the translator. “As I said, single file lines in front of each of the boys. We have only an hour for this session.”

Groans were emitted from the waiting crowd and the boys instantly picked up the black felt markers, waiting for the clock to start.

As they were told in the beginning of Backstreet, never to look up at the line, Nick couldn’t help himself and broke rule number one. His heart started beating harder in his chest when he saw that the line went through the vast hall out past the door. His stomach wasn’t in any mood to agree with him on today of all days.

Looking up, again, the ‘Cardinal Backstreet Rule Number Two’ was about to be broken. Nick saw the woman that he nearly plowed over in his haste to get into the bathroom a short time ago. The woman still didn’t look all too happy with him, in fact, he could have sworn she was staring at him - angrily!

Rule Number Two that was written in the Lou Pearlman’s Backstreet Rules stated that no boy would ever, under any circumstances make direct eye contact with a fan standing in line. It was almost as dangerous as looking directly into the sun.

Now he had broken two rules and his stomach was churning once again. The room marked “UOMINI or was that DONNE?” was calling his name again. The hard glare he caught from the corner of his eye by Johnny told him that neither room would be calling out his name. Keeping his head down, he furiously scribbled “Nick Carter” as if he were a worker on an assembly line, almost as if his very life depended upon it.

Lazily dragging his backpack on the floor behind as he walked down the hall, all Nick could think was his room, his bed and sleep. This tour stop he was graciously allowed a room to himself, much to his surprise as well as the others. It was Mr. Pearlman’s decision that Nick should have a turn being alone and he was more than happy to accept the fat manager’s offer.

“Where do you think you’re going to boy?”

Blood froze in his veins when Nick heard the manager’s voice echo in the hall.

“I told you I wanted to talk to you when you got back from the meet and greet!”

“I-I wass just gonna lay down,” Nick stammered his defense. His body tightened up when a hand clamped down hard on his shoulder.

“Well I was going to talk to you in my suite.”

Nick winced hearing Pearlman clarify that he had a suite. He winced each time the fat man pointed out how great his accomodations were.

“Can’t we just talk in my room? I’m really not feeling so hot.”

Instead of giving into Nick’s suggestion, he felt an arm being draped across his shoulder. “You can come with me up to my room son. We have to have a lenghty talk and I’m sure we won’t be bothered in my suite.”

“Can I just let someone know where I’m going?” Nick asked as he slowed his steps, trying to stall Pearlman from taking him to the elevator.

The fat man chuckled. “There’s no reason to worry about that. I’m taking care of you.”

“But...” Nick tried in vain to protest only to get strongly guided onto the elevator. He could have sworn he heard the cables groan under the added weight of the bulky manager when he set foot into the car.

The ride to Pearlman’s floor was in total silence. Nick wasn’t sure what the man was going to say to him, but he knew that it wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation and he was scared. Once the car stopped on the fat man’s floor, Nick could only allow himself to be led down to the room. Like a puppy being taken from his home by it’s master.

“Alright, sit down Nick,” Lou directed with a fat finger.

The young teen sat on the edge of the bed, as told, placing his backpack quietly on the floor beside him. He watched as the manager lumbered his bulk across the carpeted floor, waddling back and forth, labored breathing as his body was protesting the amount of exercise he was placing on his chubby legs.

“Can you tell me why I wanted to see you after your obligations this morning?”

Nick looked at the fat man for moment, a thoughtful expression on his face followed by a deep frown. “I dunno.”

“Do you recall our agreement with the diet drink?”

Watching Pearlman continue to pace the floor, Nick nodded. “Yeah, and you told me to try it and if I didn’t like it, I could stop drinking it.”

Lou stopped his pace, shaking his head, making his chins jiggle in the process. “Why do you keep insisting that I told you that you could stop the drink?”

“Because you did!”

”Bullshit!”the manager bellowed sharply. “I have reason to believe you’ve stopped drinking this on your own. Am I correct?”

Nick flinched hearing the sharp lies being directed at him by the manager.

“NO! I’m still drinking it! Honest!”

“Then how do you explain gaining three pounds?”

Looking down at his lap, Nick could only shrug his shoulders.

“Ah-ha, that’s what I thought.” Starting his pace once again, the fat manager stopped by the winow. “I want you to start drinking more of the formula, you need to drink it in front of me too. Plus weigh in daily now.”

“Drink more?” Nick squeaked, tears pooling in his eyes.

“Yes, and you need to eat too, you’re starving the body and you can’t do that either because it won’t work on getting rid of the stored up fat in your system.”

“You’re fuckin’ crazy!” Nick shouted.

As quickly as the words left his mouth, the manger retailated with a back hand across the young man’s cheek. Nick instantly held his palm up to the stinging cheek.

“I own you boy, and you will do as I say and you won’t breathe a word to anyone about this or there will be severe punishments. Mark my words.”

Nick whimpered as he listened to the rules that the obese manager was laying on him. He could only shake his head in agreement everytime the fat man paused, only because he was afraid that he would be hit again.

“Go wash your face up, and when you come back out here, I want you to drink the formula in front of me, got it?”

A dark feeling crept into Nick’s heart as he grabbed his backpack and stood up. Pearlman had his back to him so there wasn’t any questions about him taking the pack along into the bathroom. His hopes sank when Pearlman barked.

”Leave the bag out here!”

Reluctantly, Nick turned around and placed the backpack ontop of the bed. He quickly walked back toward the bathroom and closed the door.

“Why can’t you fight back?” he whimpered as he stared at his tear streaked cheeks. One cheek was reddened by the slap that had been delivered by the manager minutes ago. “You’re nothing but a coward Carter.”

“Who are you talking to in there? You better not be on a cell phone!” the manger growled.

“No one, must be the tv,” Nick lied.

He focused his attention back to the mirror and quickly looked away, not wanting to see his reflection. Splashing cool water on his face, he mentally wished that the water would take away the horrible feelings of guilt about himself he had been feeling lately.

“Nick, I don’t have all day, hurry up I’m a busy man!”

As he hastily dried his face, Nick wanted to scream into the towel. He was sick of the manager’s demands, sick of his life on the road and sick of himself for being such a coward. He opened the door to find Pearlman standing by the bed, holding the bottle of the diet drink in his chubby fist.

“Okay, I need you to take a big drink from the bottle!”

“But, we have a show to do tonight. I’ll be too sick!” Nick protested as he stared at the bottle.

Pearlman shook his head. “Nonesense! That’s all in your head boy!”

Tears started welling up in Nick’s eyes. “I’m telling you I’ll be in the bathroom the whole time. This stuff makes me sick! Please, don’t make me drink anymore of this.”

“I don’t have any other choice son, we can’t let you get any bigger than you already are.”

“I-I can diet on my own, please don’t make me drink that stuff anymore!”

Lou sighed as he stared at the young teen’s face. As if the boy was reading his thoughts, Nick broke in. “I’ll do anything you ask, but please, don’t make me drink that anymore.... please.”

“Okay, this is what I can do, but you have to follow this or the deal is off, do you understand?”

Nick anxiously nodded, hoping that the deal the fat man was about to offer in exchange for not drinking the diet drink would be something he could handle.

“You can stop this drink and diet on your own, however, and I want you to listen closely you will be weighed daily and I will take measurements daily. Is that understood because if you can’t handle this I will be forced to have you start drinking the formula again.”

Nick looked the manager directly into his eyes. “Yessir.”

“Good. I’ll be holding onto the formula so if you screw up Nick, you’ll have to take this again. We can’t have you get any fatter than you already are. The fans are noticing and the press. You’re getting so out of shape you’re breathing heavy into your headset. You need to take control of this now before you get in too deep.”

“Thank you sir, I will. You won’t regret this.”

Pearlman waved the boy off and waited until the door softly closed before he picked up his phone.

“Yes, this is Lou Pearlman in suite eight sixteen. I would like to meet with the hotel dietician and if it’s possible, I would like to speak with a pharmacist.....”