Today was one of those days!
Nick couldnīt remember when he had felt more homesick than what he did at this very second. The sheets were hot and sticky and he felt so yucky that he wanted to scream. There was a piercing headache threatening to blow his skull apart and his throat was bothering him all the time. The doctor had told him that another flu bug had struck him and that sucked. Big time.
Sighing, he itched at the IV needle that was stuck to his hand. Despite all his protests the hotel doctor had set up an IV for him claiming that he was dehydrated and something else..malnutri..something. Nick’s mind didnīt work well enough to put those things on his mind, at least not when he had a fever. AJ on the other hand would quickly fill in that his brain never worked, not when he was well either.
A brief smile crept up on his lips. Kevin had told him that the rest of the guys had gone down to the mall since AJ had seen a pair of boots from the bus window that he desperately had to get. Nick sighed. If he hadnīt felt so bad he would have begged them to take him with them, but somehow he didnīt think it would cut it if he dragged the IV bag along, much less with the headache that he so desperately nursed.
He felt so alone. Forgotten where he laid in bed. Ok Kevin had taken upon the task to look after him but he could see in the tall man’s eyes that babysitting wasnīt one of his highest priorities, especially not since Nick could count the days that he felt ok this tour. He longed so much for it all to be over. The upcoming break in less than two weeks was very welcome and he would do nothing but sleep during that break. Sleep and nurse himself back to health.
Oh how he longed for his mom and dad. He longed for their nursing hands and the comforting words that they spoke when he was feeling life did nothing but suck. His father’s wise words and his mother’s hugs. He longed for her caressing touch when he was feeling under the weather on like a day like this. How she held the glass for him to drink from and helped him to the bathroom when he was too weak or dizzy to stand on his own. Heck he even longed for her chicken soup with those extra noodles.
In the early days when Nick had been younger his mom or dad used to travel with him, and sometimes his Uncle Joe. But nowdays they were way too busy taking care of his siblings and since Aaron was touring too, his mom was preoccupied with his little brother. He knew that it had been childish but he had actually begged them to come with him on this tour since it had been such a long time that he got to be with them. But they had told him that he was mature enough to stand on his own two feet and his brother and sisters needed them more. It had hurt but he knew that it was that kind of pain that came with growing up too.
Swallowing back the tears that were threatening to erupt, he had told them that he would be just fine and instead opted to call them almost everyday. The other guys, except Howie who was a true Momma’s Boy, laughed at him. Yet he didnīt care. He needed to hear his family’s voice, just to know that he was still loved and not forgotten.
It was in this state that Kevin found his little brother, sobbing in bed.
The moment Kevin opened the door he knew that something was wrong. It was dusk in the room from the curtains being pulled across the window still he could see Nick laying in the bed with his back towards the door. There was small sobbing noises coming from him which had Kevin going into serious bedside manner mode. "Oh my God Nicky, what is it?" He rushed over to his sick friend. "Are you crying?"
No answers came.
Kevin felt a pang of brotherhood in his heart when he saw how weak and young Nick looked where he lay in his sick bed, an IV attatched to his hand. He knew that it probably looked much worse than what it was, but still he couldnīt help to think that Nick had been through a lot, yet was looking not much older than a highschooler.
Stroking the teen’s back Kevin said, "Come on Kaos, tell me whatīs wrong. Are you hurting? Is it your stomach again?" He sat down next to the teen who made no move whatso ever that he had acknowledged him. "Are you feeling sick?" He tried to get Nick to turn his face towards him, but the blonde refused to budge. Sighing Kevin soon gave up any hope to make any sort of conversation and instead picked up the empty glass sitting on the bedstand."You want something to drink?" Not waiting any answers he walked out to the small bathroom to fill a glass with cold water.
While being inside his eyes fell on Nick’s toilet bag and even though he disliked people that snooped into other people’s stuff he couldnīt help but wonder if that bottle of pills he had found in Poland was still there. Nick had claimed that it was vitamins but his sixth sense told him something more. Taking a peak out in the bedroom he saw that the teen hadnīt made any movement and therefore opted to check the bag out. Opening the zipper he saw that Nick had only brought stuff that he considered absolutely neccessary. He wasnīt much of an items person and Kevin knew that all Nick’s belongings that he cared for would fit in a sportsbag. This was the opposite to the rest of the guys, especially AJ and Howie who dragged several suitcases along with all kinds of clothes, claiming that they couldnīt live without it.
Inside were a green toothbrush, Crest, a bottle of shampoo and conditioner and one bar of Dove soap as well as a bottle of tylenol, almost empty and one box of throat drops. Not much for the world to sulk over.
No bottles of pills.
For a brief moment Kevin feared that he had imagined it all. The sense of that those pills contained something else but those vitaimins like golden boy had told him. Yet he couldnīt shake his hunch that it might have something to do with the doctor’s concern for his friend’s health. What if it was something that Nick used to loose weight?
Why would Nick be eating dieting pills like teenage girls that wanted to be slim did? But then hadnīt Brian tell him that he was afraid that Nick was binge eating and then throwing the food back up? But why? Why would someone like Nick Carter who could get every girl that he wanted do such a thing was beyond his comprehention. Shrugging back the thoughts to the back of his mind Kevin shook his head, no that didnīt make much sense.
Yet he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind and he just had to know. After all Nick was his baby brother and he loved him like his own flesh and blood.
"Kev are you there?" The voice was weak and shaky stirring the older man from his disturbing thoughts throwing him back to reality again.
"Yes," Quickly Kevin zipped up the bag in case Nick would come upon the idea of coming into the bathroom. "Iīm getting you a glass of cold water. You want anything else?" He cleaned the best he could so there would be no traces, giving him away.
"Yes, something for my head. It hurts like a bitch!"
"HEY! Watch your language."
"Ohh..uh sorry."
"Thatīs ok." Kevin smiled in smug, "So what do you want? Tylenol ?" He started to zip up the bag again when Nick called back, "Yeah I think I have some in my toilet bag."
"Ok." Shaking out a couple of white pills he returned to the bed where Nick leaned up against a stack of pillows. His face was swollen and red both from the previous crying fit as well as from the fever that was raging in his veins. "Here you go."
"Thanks," the teen accepted the pills in his shaky hand and then reached out to grab the water glass Kevin was holding in his hands.
"No, Iīll help you."
Nick opened his mouth to make a comment that he was not some kind of baby and that he could manage fine on his own when he changed his mind. It actually felt pretty good getting help. It was almost as comforting as when his mother was there for him.
Kevin held the glass for Nick to drink and when he was finished he wiped the waterdrops from his chin. "You wanīt anything more?"
"No," Nick shook his head but regretted it at once since every move made his headache even worse. He was getting dizzy and had to lean down on the soft pillows again.
Kevin frowned, "Are you cold?" The kid was shivering from chills so bad that he pulled up the bedspread over the blanket.
"A bit," Nick mumbled, closing his eyes momentarily.
"You know the doctor seemed rather concerned over you."
"He did?" Nick opened his eyes again, a bit puzzled over the information. "What did he say?"
"He kept asking me all these strange questions, especially about your eating habits." He peered at the teen to see if there was any reaction. When there were none, not even a flinch he continued, "He asked me if you have been lacking an appetite lately and if you had an upset stomach." Now he noticed a slight flinch from his friend.
"And what did you say?"
"The truth. What else?" Kevin studied Nick closely and true to his words the teen seemed nervous. Not wanting to test him anymore he continued, "I told him that you were usually eating like a wolf but that you have been having an upset stomach lately. Is that good enough?" Once again Kevin studied Nick for reactions.
A short shrug, "Whatever."
"Because that is what it is, isnīt it Kaos?" Kevin looked straight into Nick’s eyes and to his disappointment the kid shied away with his eyes. More and more the older man was coming to the fearful conclusion that his little brother was hiding something. A well hidden secret.
"Uh Huh?"
"He also asked me if you were starving yourself."
"He did?" Now Nick was fidgeting even more and living 24/7 with the guy for more than four years he had learned when something was bothering his friend or he was not telling the truth.
"Yes," he pressed on,"You have any idea why he might ask me such a question?"
"Eh...NO. Noo idea..maybe he is just a curious person." Nick tried to smile, "You know wanting to find out some information about me for his granddaughter..maybe she has a crush on me or something." The smile was becoming more and more like an grimace, mainly because he could hear how bad it sounded.
Kevin shook his head in disgust, making no further comments. Instead he watched how Nick’s eyes were fluttering from one side to the other like he always did when things were becoming too much to bear. When he had to escape from reality.
"Nick?"
"Eh.." He fidgeted again, "Uhhh..the doctor said that it looked like I was malnutru..or whatever it was called." He coughed slightly, "Sorry I donīt remember."
"Malnourished you mean?" Kevin clarifield the information.
"Yeah was it..that was the word," Nick smiled happily that Kevin had filled in the words for him.
"Nothing more then?" The older man was still pressing on the subject.
" Noo..yeah wait..he mentioned that I looked a bit dehydrated and then he put the IV in me," he held up the hand for Kevin to see, "Man do you know that it really stings when they put the needle in my hand."
Kevin nodded. This was anoter way of Nick’s to make a person change the subject but he was not going to fall for that trap. No No, not this time. Gathering up the courage to ask his friend a question that had been nagging him ever since the doctor had made it too clear for him he swallowed hard. Come to think of it, it was also a question that had been lingering around for some time now. "I have something I need to ask you."
"Ok," Nick sighed heavily, " What is it?"
This time it was Kevin’s turn to be nervous and he mentally wanted to slap himself for feeling like this. "Eh..I want you to answer this and I want you to be truthful..No Bullshitting."
Nick rolled his eyes, "Mhm..Shoot."
"Nick have you ever..." he was getting interrupted from Nick who wanted to state something and this had him putting up a hand, like a sign stopping the blonde from making a further comment, "I need to know if you are binge eating and then making yourself throw up?"
The silence that followed in the room was so deafning that you could hear a pin drop. All that was heard was Kevin’s own heartbeat pounding in his chest. He both wanted as well as didnīt want to know the answer to this question, yet it scared him too much to leave it. Just as Nick had opened his mouth to answer there was a loud signal shrilling through the room. Kevins cellphone...
