Laying completely still in his bed, Nick didn’t bother to remove the pillow that he had laid over his head. Last night’s events were a complete blur to him and he didn’t know why his body ached so much. The other thing Nick had a hard time recalling was why AJ was not only in his hotel room, but why he was sleeping in bed with him.

Things were slowly coming back to him - he remembered a doctor giving him an IV after Lou Pearlman insisted that he be checked over after he fainted in the record store. He also remembered the doctor telling him that he was dehydrated and mal something or other.

But why was AJ here?

“Rise and shine guys,” Kevin cheerily sing-songed.

“Fuck you,” came the reply from AJ’s side of the bed.

“Nick, are you awake?”

Hearing Kevin’s voice, Nick groaned. He felt the pillow move and he quickly grabbed it. “Let me sleep in today, okay? I don’t wanna get up!”

Kevin won the tug of war on the pillow and Nick squinted when his eyes came in contact with the sunlight that was streaming through the window. Kevin automatically tried to place his hand on Nick’s forehead, but the blonde quickly shifted to avoid contact.

“What are you doing?”

“Hold still, I need to see if you still have a fever.”

Fever? Okay, that explains why last night was fuzzy, Nick decided.

“I feel fine,” he protested.

“You soaked the bed last night and I thought you peed or something,” AJ annnounced with a grumble as he slowly sat up.

“I don’t wet the bed!”

“Yeah, sure Kaos,” AJ grinned. “Kev, why the hell did you get us up so damned early?”

“Lou called and said we needed to be downstairs this morning at 9:00 for a breakfast meeting.”

“Kaos is suppose to be resting, not working and I’ve decided I’d stay with him in case he needs anything,” AJ rasped.

“Well Lou thinks that’s bullshit and God knows I’ve tried to tell him.”

“Hello..... I’m in the room guys,” Nick piped up.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“Wait a minute, I want to know why you’ve decided to be so nice to me all of a sudden,” Nick asked as he watched AJ dig through the clothes in his suitcase.

“I’m always nice to you kid,” AJ defended.

“No you’re not... you always say I fake being sick, I remember you saying that!”

“I do not..”

“Do too..”

“Do not!”

”Guys knock it off!”

Nick folded his arms across his chest. “Well he does, you know..”

“You were really sick last night Nick, and you had a huge fever and stuff and as much as I hate to admit it, I was worried about you...”

Nick’s mouth dropped open as he listened to AJ’s voice full of sincerity.

“Honest?”

“Honest..... you were acting really weird last night.”

“I don’t remember anything about it,” Nick admitted.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

Nick thought for a moment before he answered. “Um, I feel kinda achey but other than that I guess fine.”

“You probably got one hell of a flu bug or something,” AJ decided.

“I guess,” Nick agreed.

“Okay, well I’m going to go down the hall and make sure Brian and Howie are getting ready. No screwing around you guys, Pearlman is already on the war path for some reason so let’s not give him anything more to get pissed about, okay?”

Nick drank three glasses of orange juice and two bottles of water while Lou Pearlman and Johnny Wright went over the expectations for the remainder of the tour. When breakfast was finally served, instead of lifting his fork, Nick walked over to the buffet table and helped himself to another bottle of mineral water.

“Where’s your plate, boy?” Pearlman growled when Nick returned to his seat.

“I’m not hungry.”

Pearlman glared at Nick, and his face immediately flushed from embarrassment when the attention was drawn toward him. “Yes you are, you have a busy day ahead of you, or weren’t you paying attention to the agenda?”

“Um, yeah I was...”

“Well you need to eat, remember what the doctor said to you?”

“That I needed to drink more fluids, yeah I remember that,” Nick stated.

“Nick was really sick last night, can’t you back off?” AJ defended.

“Mind your own business McLean,” the manager growled.

“I’m just saying---”

The manager quickly cut AJ off, threatening him. “You’re going to say nothing more if you know what’s good for you!” His glare softened as he directed his attention back to the young blonde. “Now, remember what the doctor said to you, you’re malnourished so you need to eat.”

Brian and Howie’s mouths dropped open.

“Malnourished? Nick? You’ve got to be kidding me, Nick’s anything but malnourished,” Brian stated.

“Thanks for at least not saying I’m fat,” Nick mumbled, his face a deep shade of crimson.

“No...Nick, no I’m not saying you’re fat, I’m just saying you’re not like a starving Etheopean, you know?”

Pushing himself back from the table, Nick slowly stood up. “Yeah, just skip it, I know what you meant.”

“That’s a good boy,” Pearlman praised as he watched Nick trudge over to the buffet table.

With his back to the crowd, Nick was grateful that they couldn’t see the tears that pooled in his eyes. The tears sprung up from the accusations that he was fat but also from the pain his body was having. Every joint was aching and he wished he could lay down. But as long as he was under the manager’s watchful eye, he would be doing nothing but work, pleasing him and the sponsors.

“Hey, kid..... you, the blonde one, sit up straighter!”

Frowning, Nick stiffened in his seat. “S-sorry, didn’t know I was.”

The photo shoot was dragging and Nick’s mind was anywhere but there. His body hurt and they had been sitting in front of a castle with green hills in the background for over three hours. The photo shoot was a publicity stunt for tourism in the country and Nick for one, could have cared less where the shoot was, he just wished it was overwith.

The photographer had been anything but pleasant up to this point and Nick felt as if the man hated him for some reason. His suspicions were quickly answered when the man pulled the camera off, handing it over to his assistant.

“Taking a ten minute break, you better go do something because you obviously can’t sit still!”

Nick wanted to shrink under the stool he was sitting on when the man pointed a finger at him and shouted. He couldn’t help that he hurt but he also couldn’t help that he had been drinking water like a camel storing up for a long journey across a desert.

A cluster of young girls stood in front of the only access to a restroom that Nick tried to enter.

“Can I have a picture with you?”

“Can I have your autograph?”

“I want to hug you? Can I hug you?”

Pasting his “show face” Nick smiled at the group of adoring fans and did as they requested, all the time his bladder was screaming for relief. After five minutes of unbearable picture taking and autograph signing, Nick finally had to stop.

“I’m sorry, but I really have to go do something before my break is over..”

The girls cried out with disappointment when Nick handed a pad of paper and a pen back to a young girl. He managed a quick wink and a promise that he would be back in a few minutes.

Nick was happy when he found the restroom vacant and he wasted no time hurrying to the urinal. Although his bladder felt like it would burst, he found himself straining to empty it. After a few moments, he was rewarded but gasped when he noticed that there was once again blood tinging the stream of urine.

“God, not this again,” he softly moaned when he flushed. ‘It’s probably from the flu.’ Nick mentally decided.

Moving over to the sink, he held his hands under the warm water, noticing that his knuckles seemed to be stiff and a little puffy looking. Dismissing the feelings, he quickly pulled a paper towel from the dispenser and wiped his hands.

“It’s about time!”

Nick groaned inwardly when the photographer yelled when he left the building. For some reason, this man didn’t seem to care for him much and Nick couldn’t figure out why. All he knew was that he was being singled out and tortured when he felt like shit and wanted to be anyplace but here.

“I guess I better take the shoot of you by yourself right now before my mood gets dark.”

“Like it isn’t already,” Nick mumbled.

“What did you just say?”

“N-nevermind...Let’s just get this overwith, please.”

The rest of the men stood off to the side while Nick had his turn with the photographer. Kevin could see that Nick clearly wasn’t feeling up to par by the way he sitting. He was concerned that the flu bug was getting the best of him and mentally cursed Lou Pearlman for being so strict and hard on the young boy. He never understood why he treated Nick the way he did and wished there was some way they could get rid of the obese manager and even Johnny Wright for that matter.

As if his mind was being read, Johnny Wright showed up at the photo shoot, unannounced. “Looking good, you boys are doing a wonderful job.”

AJ rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

Johnny ignored AJ’s movements, looking over toward Howie, smiling as he watched the Latino charm the young fans that were busy snapping pictures and thrusting pads of paper at him.

The manager pulled a cigarette out of the pack in his shirt pocket, quickly taking a deep drag from it after he lit it. “Howie seems to enjoy the attention, don’t you think?”

AJ inhaled the smoke hungrily, grumbling, “When is this goddamn thing going to end?”

“Shhhh, don’t talk too loud, those fans can’t hear your foul mouth and you know that,” Johnny reprimanded.

“I need a smoke.”

“Backstreet Boys don’t smoke....”

“Yeah..yeah....yeah I know, we don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, but I do and I want to right now. This photo session is assinine.”

“Yeah, about this photo session, did you notice that Nick’s color isn’t too good?” Kevin pointed out.

Johnny looked over at the youngest member of the group. “Well, he kinda looks a little pale, do you think they did a bad job with the makeup?”

“Gosh, we’re not talking about makeup Johnny, we’re talking about Nicky being sick,” Brian sighed.

Johnny straightened his stance, taking another slow drag from his cigarette. “Well, you know Nick, he’s always one bug or another.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t up with him half the night last night were you?” Kevin questioned.

“Yeah, both of us were,” AJ added.

“I thought you had your own rooms?”

“Um, yeah well we did, but Brian and Howie bunked together and I stuck around with Kevin to help him out with Nicky,” AJ lied.

The dark manager nodded as he took in the explanation. “I see.....well, you know that you’re not suppose to change room assignments, that’s rule number one...”

“Well, I change the rules when I see fit,” Kevin defended.

The manager flicked the cigarette butt between his thumb and forefinger to the ground, squashing it with the hell of his foot when it landed. “From now on, don’t make any changes without consulting me or Mr. Pearlman.”

“Did Pearlman tell you how sick Nick is?” Kevin challenged.

Johnny thrust his hands into his coat pockets. “Yes he did, he told me that Nick is malnourished.”

“C’mon, you don’t believe that bullshit, do you?” AJ agrued.

The manager visibly flinched. “I’d mind my own business if I were you. You better get this shoot done, you have a concert to do tonight.” No more words were exchanged as Johnny turned and walked away.

“Good God, it’s Lou Freaken Pearlman Junior,” AJ muttered.

“What the heck has gotten into Johnny?” Brian asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Kev, he used to be our friends but now he acts almost like he’s scared of someone or something...it’s like he’s trying to hide something.”

“I dunno Bri.”

“Seriously Nick, I’ve never seen you down so much water in your life,” Howie quipped as he watched his brother finish off another bottle.

“I’m suppose to do that,” Nick defended his actions.

“Well just remember we go on in about 40 minutes it wouldn’t look too good if you had to leave the stage to pee,” Kevin advised.

“Yeah that or hold your crotch,” AJ laughed.

Nick scowled. “I think you do that already, thank you.”

”Hold your crotch?! What the fuck!”

Nick’s face turned bright red when he realized what he had said and also when everyone in the room started to howl with laughter.

“Skip that, it came out wrong.”

“Regardless Nick, you better go use the john before we have to go,” Kevin instructed.

“Geeze, I’m not a baby!”

“I never said you were, just go okay?”

Nick sulked as he trudge toward the bathroom. He hated how the guys were always treating him like a baby and he was sick of Kevin’s parental attitude 90% of the time...even if he was right 95% of the time.

Staring at his face in the mirror, Nick stuck his tongue out at his reflection. “God Carter, you’re such a wuss.”

He gazed at his face a few moments longer and noticed that his eyes looked “funny” to him for some reason. Nick couldn’t put a finger on what it was, but something looked like it was missing. His back was starting to hurt a little more than what it did this morning when he woke up, but being the preformer he was, he masked his feelings as best as he could. He knew that it didn’t matter that he felt like shit, Lou Pearlman would make sure he was onstage until his last breath was drawn.

Turning his attention to what he came into the bathroom for, once again Nick found it a struggle to empty his bladder.

“God, it’s not like I haven’t drank all damn day long,” he muttered as he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Once again he was finally rewarded but the outcome seemed to be far less than the way he felt. Again the urine had a slight reddish tinge to it and his back hurt more after his attempts to empty his bladder.

“God, I must be falling apart,” Nick sighed.

“Dumbass, did you take a dump?” AJ rasped when Nick came back into the greenroom.

“Huh?”

“You were in there for about a half an hour, I figured you probably fell in the toilet or something.”

“None of your business what I do in the bathroom, okay?” Nick snapped as he gingerly sat down on the couch.

’Was I in there that long?’ Nick wondered. He looked over at AJ who met his gaze with a wide smile and his eyes twinkling over the tops of his sunglasses. “You’re an asshole.”

“Better an asshole than a dumbass,” he countered.

”KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO!

Nick flipped AJ off after Kevin yelled at them to quiet down. He didn’t flinch when the sound tech came and made final adjustments to his head mic, but leaned back to ease the pain in his body.

“Alright guys, five minutes,” the stage tech announced as he knocked on the door.

Groaning, Nick slowly stood up and walked out in the hall with Brian stepping into place alongside him.

“Are you feeling alright Nicky?”

Running a hand over his face, Nick only nodded his reply.

“I can tell you don’t feel good, I can see it in you....”

“I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” He sighed before quietly adding, “God, just get me through this show.”