The feeling of being out of control, not being able to get off whenever you wanted, was what scared him and it was this feeling that sent him hugging the armrest perticularly tight before take off and landing. In between those situations he was pretty comfortable, or at least as comfortable someone could be that swirled in the sky.
Looking to his side he caught a glance towards the seats that were occupied by Nick and Kevin. Unlike him, Nick was often seated by the window, why Brian had no idea since the last thing someone that hated to fly wanted to was to look outside. Brian suspected that much of his friend’s dislike for planes came with him being restless and often motionsick. Not a good combination at all. This time he sat by the aisle, unusually still. Judging by the painfilled look in his blue eyes Brian sensed that he was more scared and sick than he let on.
His pale face was totally drained of color. Coldsweat poured from his pores like water, soaking his white sports shirt in his back so it looked like heīd been sprayed by a garden hose. His blond tousled hair laid plastered to his skull like a cap and to Brian it looked like he was on the verge of passing out any second now. He felt concerned.
"Nick buddy, you hanging in there?" His question was not returned. Instead Nick kept staring infront of him at the blue texture, mumbling through pinched lips over and over again, like a mantra, "Please let me make it..please God." His hands gripped the armrest in a deathgrip so bad that his knuckles became white and for a moment Brian feared that the blood circulation had been cut off. Kevin who caught his eye shook his head in dispair. Putting down his morning newspaper he shook his head and with a worried expression mouthed, "Not good, not at all."
Brian nodded. No more words had to be said. Besides the plane was starting to taxi down the runway and he had to prepare himself for the departure. As the plane started to pick up height there was a loud gasp heard from Nick’s seat. It was no doubt that the kid felt very uncomfortable. A flair of regret that he hadnīt pressed more about sitting next to Nick crept up on him. Usually he managed with small conversation cheer his friend up and make him feel more at ease. This time however they had decided that it was best that Kevin sat next to his younger brother since they were certain that he would be in for a round of motionsickness and his cousin was better in taking care of those situations. To tell the truth Brian hadnīt looked forward very much to sitting next to the sick teen, so he had gratefully accepted the offer. Sitting next to someone spewing their breakfast was not his cup of tea. Even if that someone was his friend.
Now he felt like he had to do something. What, he didnīt know. This madness had to stop. Nick needed to get some rest and not run around half the world in this kind of condition. But did the management listen? No!
Brian searched for a few comforting words that would tell Nick that heīd acknowledge his pain as well as it could ease some of the discomfort his friend was feeling. Reaching out to touch Nick’s hand he noticed that it was cold and clammy. This concerned him even more. "Dude," he tried to make his voice as firm and cheerful that he could. "This is going to go just fine. Just realax." The words held little result. The teen kept staring ahead of him, still in his own world. But Brian didnīt give up his hope. "Frack I know that you donīt like this, but everything is going to be ok. Weīll be landing in Germany in no time. Trust me."
When Nick still made no move to answer he looked at Kevin for support. The older man instantly picked up the tread as he said comfortingly, "Yes little man. Bri is right. We will soon be at the hotel and then you can lay down and rest some. Donīt you worry." His voice was soft and filled with concerned. And Brian could tell by the constant wrinkle that was on the older man’s forehead that he was worried over Nick’s faltering health. "Try to sit back and relax and Iīm sure youīll feel better." His hand gently rubbed Nick’s arm up and down, hoping to lessen the distress.
But the teen was in no state or mind to listen. "Donīt you see? This plane is too small and weīre going to crash." There was genuine fear in is eyes when he uttered the last words, shakily. "Weīre going down. I just know it!" A violent shiver ran down his spine making him grip the armrest even tighter. Swallowing hard he stiffled a sob that tried to escape.
Just looking at Nick one could tell that he was furiously battleing waves of nausea and judging by the thin sheet of sweat that covered his forehead it wouldnīt be long until the airsick bag in the front pocket would be put into good use. It was just a matter of time. Intending to warn his cousin about the upcoming event he said with a firm tone, "Kev!" and then nodded towards the front pocket when the bandmember picked up his attention.
But as always Kevin came prepared. Holding up the brown bag he saw that once again his cousin was ahead of time. Brian never ceased to be amazed that no matter what situation they were in for it was like Kevin had the gift of always knowing what to do. Even if he knew that deep inside the older man was just as unsure as the rest he held cool and calm front to everything. This was something that had mainly developed through out the years even if he held some of it before too. Brian watched as his cousin continued to rub their little brother’s arm and whispering smooth comforting words. He had to smile. The way Kevin went on he would be a great dad someday, when he slowed down and realized that his longtime on and off girlfriend Kristin would be the one for him. But the time hadnīt come yet.
Suddenly the plane started to shake violently and he had other things on his mind than watching his two friends. They were starting to experience turbulence. Closing his eyes he did his best to block out the bad feeling that welled up inside him. In situations like this heīd learned to think positive to block out any unpleasant thoughts and like out of nowhere the love of his life; Leighanne appeared in his mind. She was smiling to him and that made him feel better, more relaxed but at the same time very homesick.
It wasnīt easy to have a long distance relationship that was buildt on phone calls, emails and short visits. On top of everything Lou and the management had decided that no girlfriends were allowed to tour with them since it could be bad for the business. The fans needed to think that the five heartrobs were single, even if it was just Howie that was that at the time. That way they sold more records. Brian hated to lie in interviews and say that he just dated around. He didnīt like the look on happiness on each girls face when he told them that he was still available, mainly beacuse he was lying but also because heīd found the right one. In Leighanne.
Even if heīd only dated Leigh for less than a year he knew that she was the right for him. She was the one that he wanted to spend his future with, she was the one that he wanted to marry and have children with. Not just yet.
Brian counted the minutes until he would be back in the states and spend some time with his friends and family. He and Leighanne had already made lots of plans and he felt devistated when Lou’s desicion to prolong the tour three more days came on and the charity concert couldnīt have come in a worse time than this. Still he knew that there was no use in complaining since he would soon be joining Leighanne and they could spend some serious time together. There were just one hitch;
His upcomming open heart surgery.
Heīd done his best to set those dark and disturbing thoughts aside but the fact remained that he would in a little over a month, undergo extensive surgery and it scared the living daylights out of him. What if something went wrong? What if he didnīt wake up?
He hadnīt talked much about the upcoming event with the guys, only to Kevin who kept asking him how he was doing and telling him to take it easy like he was some kind of cripple. Whenever the surgery had been mentioned he could see the hurt in his friends eyes, especially Nick’s, and he didnīt want to burden them more than neccessary. Besisdes all of them seemed to have their own problems.
A hand touched his arm, jerking him back to reality. "You ok man?" Howie’s warm brown eyes peered into his, questioning.
"Mmmm..Iīm fine." He smiled reassuringly towards Howie who didnīt look like he believed him.
"You sure? I mean it looked like you were very far away in your thoughts. Itīs Leighanne isnīt it?" It was so much like Howie to ask something like that, being concerned for everyones well being. He hit the nail on the head.
"Um..yeah." He stretched in his seat. "I wish this tour would be overwith soon. I canīt wait to be back and see my family again."
A sigh was heard. "Yeah I know what you mean. Itīs been more than two months since we last saw them."
"And thatīs a long time being you D'," AJ grinned.
He was dead right. There was never a day passing without Howard Dorough calling at least one of his family members or friends. The funny part was that the Latino would get a big smile on his face whenever someone mentioned this. Not at all embarrassed, instead D' took great pride in taking care of his family. Through endless nights talking, Brian knew that Nick felt the same for his family. It was just that the affection wasnīt turned back as easily. They were often too busy to take time to either call or listen to what the teen had to say so he often ended up empty handed. This was not good since Nick needed them so much more than they could ever imagine. The lack of support he found in his family he often made up by talking or clinging to the guys, except during this tour. It was like something was really bugging their little brother and Brian couldnīt put his finger on it. Whatever it was it didnīt do him any good.
"I guess we just have to wait this weekend and then we will be back home by in a few days. I think we can mangage, right?" Howie flashed a toothy white grin.
"Mmmm..yeah we should be fine." Brian nodded in agreement. Three more days was something he felt that he could handle. Couldnīt he?
"Speak for yourself," AJ added, getting confused expressions back. He pointed with his finger towards Nick’s side and then declared, "because Kaos sure as hell ainīt!"
Bone was right, Nick was far from ok. He had his head in a brown paper bag, making good use of it while Kevin rubbed his back in small circles, saying comforting words. Suddenly the silence broke with Nick belching loudly and it sounded so disgusting that Brian involuntarily let out a loud, "Ewww Gross!!!" He felt a bit guilty for his outburst since is friend couldnīt help it and there was no toilet on the plane that he could use either. Still watching other people barf always turned his stomach inside and out in disgust.
Kevin shot him a hard glare before turning back to the shivering teen, "Itīs ok Nicky. Donīt listen to him, he’s a jerk." He gave Brian one more eye before adding. "Youīll feel better once you get that stuff out of your system."
Brian fidgeted uncomfortably. He didnīt mean to act like that but the smell that covered the small plane didnīt exactly remind him of roses and he had a hard time dealing with the turbulence anyway. Breathing through his mouth he did his best to block out the unwanted smell. This had Kevin getting even more irritated. "For Gods sake Brian. Heīs just airsick, not carrying the Bulbonic plague or something."
Brian felt hurt and he could hear AJ laugh in the seat behind him. Howie just shook his head like he didnīt want to be dragged into this argument.
"If you think itīs that disgusting then look the other way," Kevin snarled when Nick heaved violently again. Not wanting to miss the oppurtunity Brian quickly looked the other way. He felt bad since he knew that this was not the right time to let his friend down and instead of acting like a sissy he should give support. Still it was too much to handle and not something he could control either. Especially being cooped up in a small stuffed airplane with barely no air conditioning. It was making him feel clausterphobic and he would have to appologize to Nick later on. And knowing Nick, he would just laugh it all away. Saying that he understood.
The tension hung low in the air and Howie was the one that tried to break the conflict that was becoming apparant between the two cousins. "You need any help Kevin?" All he got from the older man was a snort, the body language said it all.
When Nick showed no sign of getting any better AJ was the one to bark out. "This really sucks! Kaos has no business running around the world feeling this crappy. And I tell you guys he is in no shape to do a concert, much less to play B'ball. Not the way he is hurling away. He would stink on court and make a mess of himself too," AJ pulled his glasses down, "Not to mention getting his ass beat by the Nīstinks!"
The words spilled out had him very upset. So this was what AJ thought of Nick? That he was useless and all he would do was to make a mess out of himself OR the band. AJ could be pretty blunt but saying these words to someone he knew was sick and couldnīt help it was over his limits. "Is that all you care about? That he will make us look bad? That we will loose?"
"No!" AJ shot a glare "I didnīt say that, did I?"
"Yes you did!" Brian turned over the seat to look at the other man. "You said he would stink!" They were all tired and not much was needed for the situation to get fired up.
"Youīre sick!" AJ made no further attempt to get into an argument with Brian and instead he turned to Kevin, "Iīm telling you. Something is seriously messed up with Kaos and Iīm not talking about his head either since there I know there is no cure." He chuckled lightly.
The joke didnīt fall into good soil since Brian shook his head in disgust, "And youīre calling ME sick?"
Ignoring the comment AJ called out with genuine surprise, "Whoaaaa..I didnīt know that someone could fill up an airsick bag THAT fast!" This time it was his turn to utter his contempt, "Gross!!"
Both Brian and Howie had turned an ugly shade of green, "Man Jay how disgusting can you be?"
"Very and donīt temp him," Kevin commented from his side of the plane. He frowned when Nick too weak to say or do anything, leaned against the headrest, eyes closed, waiting for the next attack to hit him. He looked like death warmed over and to Kevin’s despair it seemed like he still wasnīt out of the woods . His system showed no signs of slowing down.
"Yeah D' donīt tell me that you donīt now that alreadty. After all itīs Bone weīre talking about here." He grinned. This was the guys as he had grown to know them. Each and one of their personalities were different and they were often joking, laughing but also fighting and getting into arguments. Just like brothers.
AJ shot him a finger.
Brian grinned back. They fought with love, or like kids as Kevin would put it. He looked at Nick and Kevin’s place waiting for the older man to shoot some sneer remark but Kevin was busy playing nurse. "You think youīre done?" his cousin asked before taking away the airsick bag. A short nod was returned. "Youīre gonna be ok?" There was doubt in his voice as he handed the blonde a tissue to wipe off his mouth with.
"Mmmm..Iīm fine." Nick let out a deep sigh before adding, "M'sorry." A red flush of embarrassment appeared on his pale cheeks.
"For what? Itīs not like you can help it or anything?"
Nick looked up with watery eyes, "Thanks for helping me out when I feel this shitty." He smiled paley, "I have no idea what I could have eaten that would make me this sick." Wiping his sweat off his forehead he looked like he was about to keel over any second now.
"No kidding I could have swore I saw some breastmilk coming up."
"AJ!" Both Brian and Howie called out in unison. "Did you have to say that?" This was so much like Bone to have to be a smartass in tense situations. Brian knew it wasnīt meant to be mean, no it was more that when the situations were pressed he tried to joke the feelings away. Brian knew since he often did the same. Today however none of them had the energy to pick up his vibes and instead the younger man was getting annoying.
"I told you not to tempt him," Kevin said with a sigh. He sounded tired. "Knock it off. Canīt you guys see that Nicky is miserable enough as it is?"
"Chill out man, I was just stating facts," AJ pouted, acting like a three year old. The battle of words was on and for a moment Brian and AJ, with a little help from Kevin discussed who was the most immature of them. Howie mostly watched for his side, adding a few words here and there.
A sudden groan came from Nick. Pressing a hand to his stomach he mumbled, "Oh shit it hu..hurts." His face was scrunched up in pain. This stopped the converstation abruptly. Everyone turned their attention to teen, expecting him to tell them what was wrong. Noticing this Nick felt embarrassed. Blushing he murmured, "Itīs nothing." He tried to sit up straighter in his seat. "Iīm sure itīs just gas or something."
"Bullshit!" AJ burst out. "I donīt believe for a second what youīre saying. Here youīre practically rolling with pain and when we ask you what the problem is you say that itīs just a bad fart. Itīs complete crap."
"Not crap AJ, gas." Brian knew it was not well fitted to say so, but he felt the need to lighten up the situation a bit.
"Ha ha ha, not funny," AJ retorted back with a snort.
A small smile could be seen on the blondes face. The first one for what felt like ages. "Well Nick seems to think that it is, right Frack?" Brian did his best to cheer his friend up, even if it meant that he had to use cheap tricks. But there was no answer since another spasm shot through his friend’s body; the worst of them all.
"What? Where does it hurt?" Kevin urged, trying to get Nick to take his hand off his stomach so he could see what was wrong. "Come on Nick you gotta tell us.
"Yes Nicky, you have to eleborate with us." The rest of the guys were showing concern now.
"Is it that urinary infection?" Howie offered.
Not inclined to answer, Nick shrugged away. "No..No..leave me alone. It hurts too much." Moaning, he rocked back and forth. Suddenly he bit his hand to stop himself from crying out loud since another violent spasm wracked his body. Tears welled up in his eyes since another cramp made itself known. "I wanna get off," he moaned. "Oh God!"
Now Brian felt panic. Heīd seen his friend sick so many times during the past years that heīd stopped counting them, yet he had never seen his friend this bad off. Something was terribly wrong and Brian was fed up with the management ignoring the signs. He was sure that if Nick’s family found out how badly their son had been treated, they would sue Jive and the whole management team. But for some strange reason, Nick didnīt want anyone to know. And now this was going too far.
"Thatīs it. Iīm going to talk to managment. Nick belongs at a hospital, not here." With that the Kentuckian resolutely stood up. "And if they donīt listen, Iīm calling your dad Nick. He needs to know that youīre this sick.
"Good idea," AJ agreed, "Iīm coming with you. This crap has to stop."
The words must have hit wrong since Nick’s eyes shut up instantly, looking like a deer caught in headlight. Panicking. "No..No donīt.." He fumbled after Brians hand, "Donīt talk to them." Biting back a small moan he continued, "Youīre just going to make it worse."
This line had all of the guys picking up the attention. "What do you mean?" Kevin asked suspeciously. "Is there something that youīre hiding?"
"Yes Nicky what is really wrong with you?" Howie wanted to know.
The teen fidgeted uncomfortably, all eyes turned at him. Putting on a fake smile he did his best to regain his posture, "No, Iīm not hiding anything..itīs just..just that there’s no need to bother Lou beacuse I have to.. have to p..pee." His face turning red like a lobster.
"Oh!"
"Pee? You have to pee?" AJ busted out. "Is all this pain beacuse youīre dying to take a leak?" A smile of relief crept upon his face.
"Yes." Nick tried to chuckle but it all came out in a moan. "Iīm about to burst."
Not believing him, Brian reluctantly stayed down. "Didnīt you go at the airport?" He waited for Nick to tell him what was really bothering him. Something said that Nick was having more problems than he let on when it came to urinating. But he also knew with Nick’s stubborn personality he’d rather let hell freeze over before he confessed something like that.
"Yes..but..but I still need to go." The teen stuttered, much too embarrassed to talk about such a thing with his friends.
"Well then you have to hold it," Kevin stated as a matter of factly. His tone wasnīt irritated instead it sounded more beat. "Nick you knew that there would be no lavatory on this trip so you shouldnīt have drank so much water."
"Could I help it that I was thirsty?"
"Yeah but six bottles of water?" AJ shook his head, "And now youīre surprised that you have to take a leak?"
"Youīre not a kid anymore you know."
Nick shot his friends a look of death before closing his eyes, "Leave me alone." Mumbling he continued, "God I wish I had never told you guys anything." With that he pulled his jacket closer to his body like a protection, trying to shy away from the discomfort he felt inside him. Making clear that he didnīt want to talk any more. Subject closed.
