“Good........it looks like he’s starting to come out of it.....”

Nick struggled to open his eyes when he heard the soft voices that were drifting in and out. His mouth felt like cotton and he was slowly becoming aware of how awful he was feeling. Instinctively, he pawed at the oxygen mask on his face.

“No honey......s-h-h-h, you’re in the hosptial, you’re gonna be okay.....you’ve just came out of surgery...”

As he gave up fighting the hands that were pulling his arms away from his face, he relaxed a little when the woman’s soothing voice told him he was going to be okay.

Nick struggled again to open his eyes and finally managed for a brief moment. All he saw was the brightness of the room he was in and he immediately closed his eyes again.

“How are you feeling?”

“Shitty,” Nick managed to mumble, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask.

“Are you in pain?”

He thought for a moment as he did an inventory of how his body was feeling at the moment. The pain he was feeling was indescribable.

“Yeah..” he breathed.

“Okay hun.... I’m giving you something for the pain through your IV......”

As much as he tried to open his eyes and stay awake, the coolness of the medication traveled down his arm and he slowly lost the fight and fell back into blissful unconsciousness.

Kevin stood facing Dr. Andersen, his mouth agape, the color drained from his face. “What did you just say?”

“I said that the surgery went well as could be expected and Nickolas will be in recovery for a few more hours.”

AJ stepped between Kevin and the doctor, putting his hand up. “No, back up, you said something else.”

Dr. Andersen looked Nick’s brothers, pasting a thin smile on her face. He gaze fell on Aaron, and the woman felt her heart break. It was telling news to a patient’s family that was always the hardest when something unexpected happens in a surgery.

She cleared her throat as she tried to gather the words to repeat the heartbreaking news, the eyes in the room focused on her. “Well, as I said before, the surgery went well, but once things were started, we discovered a new tumor.”

“With all the damn tests the guy has been through, don’t you think that would have been found earlier?” AJ rasped.

Kevin shot a glare toward his AJ and shook his head in a disapproving look. “I’m sorry doctor, please go on.”

“Well, to answer his question, usually tumors are found on the battery of tests that Nickolas has been through, but oddly, it wasn’t discovered because of were it was growing.”

“So it was on his liver too?” AJ interrupted once again.

“No, the growth was under his pancreas, not on it but actually beside it and Nickolas is lucky.”

“I don’t see how you would think a new tumor could be lucky?” AJ questioned. This time Kevin stood next to his bandbrother, shaking his head and glancing over at a tearful Aaron.

“I’m saying it was lucky because it appears we have caught it in the early stages of development and that if it had gone unchecked for a week or two it could have been a fatal tumor without any chances of attacking it.”

Brian placed a comforting hand on Aaron’s shoulder, rubbing it gently as he asked the doctor a new question. “So what do you think his chances are now with this surgery?”

The doctor smiled slightly. “I would hope that his chances have improved dramatically. I don’t like to put numbers on things because Nickolas’s recovery depends on how his body responds to the treatments.”

“S-so, you’re saying that my brother will li-la....” Aaron studdered.

“Live? I think he is a tough cookie and this is something that he has to fight but I know that Nickolas has the support and love of all of you so I think his odds are good.”

“Thank God,” Howie breathed, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“I do want to caution you, that although this sounds wonderful, there still is a rough road for Nickolas to go and he still has to put the cancer into remission before we have any room to breathe easier. Love, support and encouragement is all that you can do for him. He will become very ill over the next several months and he will need all the help and support he can get.”

“I wished there was something that you could do without making him so tired and sick. He’s not my brother when he’s like this,” Aaron cried.

Brian knelt down beside the teen. “Hey AC, you know that’s still Nick, he’s just hurting and sometimes he says and does things he doesn’t really want to do, that’s all.”

“With that chemo pump in his body, it won’t make him sick right away will it?” Kevin wondered.

Dr. Andersen sighed. “It all depends on Nickolas’s system. Every patient is different and I’m afraid it may since his body is already taxed.”

A cold chill went through Kevin’s body. He instantly thought about the horrific event when Nick had gotten so ill that one time where he couldn’t stop throwing up and he wound up taking his brother to the emergency room. He had been so scared that he was going to lose him back then. He wondered if he would be able to stand seeing Nick in so much pain again.

“God, he got so sick that last time....” Brian pointed out.

Kevin only nodded. The memories of Nick combined with his own memories of how sick his own father was before he passed away, flashed through his mind.

Brian looked up at his cousin. “Kev, are you okay?”

Startled, the older man snapped out of his trance, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He pasted a smile on his face to convince the others of his lie. Looking around the room he added, “We’ll help Nicky get through this, no matter what it takes.”

The nausea that Nick was feeling was the worst he had ever felt. His stomach throbbed with fresh pain from the surgery and he wished he could sleep forever.

It hurt too much to breathe and it seemed to take more energy than he had.

“Sweetheart, we’re going to move you back upstairs to your own room and your bed.”

Nick didn’t reply, he moaned.

“Honey? I said we’re going to move you back to your room.”

As much as Nick wanted to answer the nurse, he was more busy concentrating on swallowing the lump that seemed to have stuck in his throat. It felt like a pebble stuck on one side.

“Are you having troubles?”

Nick rolled his eyes beneath the closed lids. ‘Did he have troubles? Lady do you have time to hear all the troubles I have?’

“My throat....” he squeaked.

He was surprized at the sound of his voice. It was weak and scratchy sounding.

“Does your throat hurt you?”

‘Dumb question,’ he thought to himself. Just as he opened his mouth to answer the nurse, the worst possible thing happened to him.

Pushing the oxygen mask away from his face, Nick started a bout of gagging and dry heaving. It was almost instantaneous that a curved bowl was placed quickly by his face. The nausea had Nick in it’s grip and his stomach felt like tiny pins and needles were poking him from the inside.

“Phenegren, 200ml stat....”

Being too preoccupied with trying to calm his stomach down, Nick was barely aware of the orders a nurse called out and the scent of the alcohol swab when it made contact with the air. The rhymic heaves slowly died down and Nick gratefully fell into a peaceful drug induced sleep.

The wait for Nick to be returned from surgery seemed endless for his bandmates and brother. Each had their own ways of trying to pass the time; Howie thumbing through a magazine he had purchased at the gift shop, Brian, seated in the corner, his head bowed in prayer, Aaron flipping through the channels on Nick’s television, Kevin pacing the floor and as always, AJ came and went as he slipped outside for an occasional cigarette and to make ‘one more call from his cellphone.’

The scene to the guys was as commonplace as brushing your teeth. The only difference was that Nick was missing from the scene. All thoughts were preoccupied with him.

“I can’t stand this,” AJ mumbled as he paced from the window toward the door. “I thought he was out of surgery and would be back here!”

Looking up from his magazine, Howie smiled lightly. “J... he’ll come when it’s time, pacing the floor and complaining won’t hurry them up you know.”

“Yeah but it’s been two hours ago that one doctor came and told us he was out of surgery,” AJ snapped as he paced back to the window, bumping into Kevin. “Christ..... could you watch where you’re going?”

Instead of answering AJ, Kevin ran a weary hand over his face and sighed. He turned his directions and walked over toward the door. He stood in the doorway for a moment and then edged his body into the hall.

“Hey.....I think Nick’s coming,” Kevin announced, his voice filled with anticipation.

Brian lifted his head and looked in the direction of his cousin. He could hear the familiar sounds of IV machine beeps and he quickly stood up. AJ, Howie and Aaron rushed over to the side of the room where Brian stood, making sure they wouldn’t get in the way when Nick was brought in.

As Kevin slipped back into the room, the group looked at his face for signs or confirmation that it was Nick that was coming down the hall. Their hearts sank when they could see the tears in the older man’s eyes, the look of tension on his face.

“Dammit...it wasn’t Nicky was it?” AJ muttered.

The beeping was right outside the door and before anymore words were spoken, the foot of the gurney slowly appeared in the doorway. No one spoke as they took in the scene. All were too busy doing their own visual inventory of the situation.

When Aaron caught sight of four IV boxes lined on the pole and endless bags of IV fluids hanging, his eyes pooled and his heart felt like it would pound out of his chest. The sight of that alone frightened him.

With all the surgical transportation staff surrounding Nick’s cart, non of them could actually get a full glimpse of their brother. Other than the IV’s, Nick’s feet and blanketed legs were the only things they could see as they stood off to one side and out of the way.

The staff raised the hospital bed up to the same level as the gurney and three of the nurses assembled on one side of the cart and two others alongside the hospital bed.

“Okay...ready.....one...two...three.”

Nick’s body was slide off the cart and onto his bed in an effortless motion. As some of the staff pushed the cart away, one nurse was lowering his bed while the other nurse was covering him up quickly with blankets.

Before they left his friends, the nurse in pastel pink flowered scrubs turned to them. “I’m his day nurse, Vicki. Nick’s been sedated so he’s not awake right now. I’ll be back in a little bit. Do you have any questions?” When no one spoke, she smiled briefly and left the room.

As a group, they slowly approached Nick’s bed. After a few moments, the only sounds were muffled cries and sniffling. Aaron, on the other hand placed his hand ontop of his brother’s and buried his face into the side of the bed, sobbing.

“They put his baseball cap on him.....” Howie said somberly, his voice cracking with emotion. Kevin and Brian nodded, wiping the tears from their cheeks as they continued to look at their friend.

“Why does he look so much thinner?” AJ gasped. “God, he looks awful...”

When Aaron’s sobbing grew louder, AJ stopped his verbal observation and lightly placed a hand on the young boy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry AC..... God, don’t listen to me kid, I just... I dunno I was thinking that Nick would be awake and talking and stuff.....I don’t know what...”

“We just want him well,” Kevin quickly interrupted AJ’s rambling before he said something more he would regret.