The wait seemed to be taking forever, Brian thought as he slid the palms of his hands back and forth across his thighs. He had sat there and read all of the diplomas that were hung strategically on the mauve wallpapered walls; it wasn’t that he was interested in the doctor’s credentials but rather something that was done in desperation to keep his thoughts clear. Ready to deal with the task at hand.

Nick.

The moment he allowed Nick to enter his thoughts, tears immediately pooled in his bloodshot blue eyes. Rubbing his hand over his chin and mouth, Brian tried to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t want the doctor to come into the room and see him crying. He had to be strong. Afterall, he was Nick’s Patient Advocate.

“Mr. Littrell?”

Brian jerked when he felt a hand touching his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He looked up into Dr. Andersen’s face. He immediately started to stand. “I’m sorry, I guess I was zoning out.”

“Please don’t get up, you’re fine,” the doctor replied softly. Brian did as he was told and watched as the petite woman moved files of different sizes off to one side on her desk. She placed a file that appeared to be three inches thick in front of her and sat down. “We’ve seem to have been playing hit and miss with the phone calls the last few days.”

“Yes we have. I should give you my pager number so you can get me easier.”

“And I should give you mine too. Nickolas has it,” she replied as she penned the numbers down on a slip of paper, handing it across the desk. Brian reciprocated the doctor’s offer and wrote down his pager number.

“Has Nick spoke with you since I last saw the two of you at Tampa General?”

Biting his bottom lip, Brian managed a slight nod. “He said it wasn’t good.”

Dr. Andersen nodded in agreement. “Finding a new lump is never good. We should be thankful that Nickolas has a stubborn personality.”

Brian narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think I follow you.”

“What did he tell you?”

Unable to look the woman in the eyes, Brian shifted his gaze to a large portrait of a flower garden. “He said he was dying.”

“Did he tell you about the lump that was discovered on his liver and how we planned on dealing with it?”

He shifted his feet under the chair, still unable to look at the doctor. “He mentioned something about treatments but he seemed to be reluctant to discuss it. He wants to have a press conference.” Brian paused for a moment rethinking the comment the doctor had just made. “There’s a lump on his liver?”

“That must be what has been causing the discomfort in his stomach. It has been going on for quite some time according to him.”

“I had no idea,” Brian mumbled.

“Honey, don’t beat yourself up on this. Nickolas is pretty good at masking his troubles.”

“So do you think there’s still a chance here? That he isn’t going to die?”

Dr. Andersen sighed. “I can’t say that. I wish I could. Nick’s status is guarded.” She shifted through the pages on her patient’s chart. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for a specific reason. The treatments that’s been outlined for Nick I’m going to need your help on.”

“I’ll do anything you ask me to do. You know I want to help.”

Brian listened intently as Dr. Andersen ran through the lists of treatments that she had planned. The mention of the liver biopsy made his heart sink, his own experience from surgery wasn’t a pleasant one and silently he wished that his little brother could be spared from something so dramatic.

As if the doctor could read Brian’s thoughts, she ended the list with, “I wish there were other options that could be done, but unfortunately these are the ones that are proven effective for Nick.”

“I understand,” Brian replied quietly. “Nick is acting like he’s giving up on fighting this. I don’t know what I can do that will help.”

Closing the file, the doctor folded her hands. “Giving up is one of the worst things that Nickolas can do. What he really needs is someone to convince him that there is still a battle to fight. I want to schedule his biopsy for tomorrow afternoon---”

“No,” Brian interrupted but quickly apologized. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Nick wants to hold a press conference tomorrow and Kevin was going to get that scheduled. Could we do it later?”

Dr. Andersen sighed. “I don’t want to put this off. It would be prudent to discover if the lump is cancerous or not. He has to start with the agressive chemo this week too.”

”Only if I can convince Nick to fight this,” Brian added quietly.

The doctor picked up a ledger and started thumbing through the book quickly. “We could do a biopsy later this evening if I talk with the specialists.”

Brian shook his head. “He wouldn’t agree to that. He wants to have this press conference and you’re talking surgery.”

“It’s just a simple outpatient procedure.”

“He’s gonna be sore after that for a few days too no doubt.”

“Okay, tell Nickolas that we will do the biopsy the day after tomorrow at seven and then we can start in with the chemo that day hopefully.”

Brian plucked his cell phone from his belt. “Before you schedule anything for him, let me call Kevin and find out if he has the conference scheduled.”

Time stood still for Kevin Richardson as he leaned against the door frame taking in the sight of Nick and AJ sleeping in the rays of sunlight that cut it’s way into the living room. The ringing of his cell phone snapped Kevin from his trance. He quickly cupped his hand over the device to silence the noise before it woke anyone up.

Stepping around the corner he grunted into the phone. “Yeah.”

“Kev, it’s Brian, did you get a time?”

He scowled as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Huh?”

“Nick’s conference, did you get a time?”

Kevin sighed as he walked further away from the living room. “Yeah, tomorrow at 4:30. They’re giving us thirty minutes of air time.” He ran a hand through his thick, dark hair. “Where are you?”

“I’m with Dr. Andersen. She’s trying to set up a time for a biopsy.

"A biopsy? For what?" Kevin sounded confused.

"Listen I gotta go, I'll talk to you later," Brian said when Dr. Andersen re-entered the room. Before Kevin had a chance to respond he said quickly, "Bye," and then hung up the phone.

Dr. Andersen smiled at him. "Did everything work out allright?"

Brian jerked. "What? Yes just fine," he smiled back, running a tired hand across his face. "We´re having the press conference tomorrow." Suddenly it all felt so surreal. The whole situation. If someone had told him a year ago that he would sit in a doctors office, discussing what to do to make Nick survive, he would have thought that the person was crazy. And now he was here.

This made him want to scream, yet he kept his calm posture. Discussing with the doctor what would be best for Nick. But inside he hurt. He hurt so bad.