After a few narrow misses on the busy Tampa highway, AJ finally guided the SUV into the hospital parking lot, much to the relief his three passengers. Although it was well after 11:00 pm, the parking lot was still full and AJ voiced his displeasure. “Jesus..... why the fuck is everyone still here?”

Howie gestured to his right. “Over there!”

Without slowing the car down, he jerked the steering wheel and practically rammed the car into the empty parking space; his three passengers sent flying toward the right side of the interior. Before it came to complete stop, AJ pulled the lever into park and killed the engine.

“Now I understand why you go change cars as often as you change your underwear,” Kevin sighed.

AJ smirked as he flung his door open, hitting the side of the vehicle parked next to them. “I don’t wear underwear.”

”God Bone, could you be more sick.....and be a little careful of the car next to you!” Howie moaned.

Quickly exiting the car, the four men sprinted toward the hospital entrance, dodging pedestrians and oncoming cars.

“God this place is like Grand Central Station,” AJ huffed.

Brian out ran the others and reached the hospital information desk. Panting, he slapped his palms ontop of the round counter. “Where’s ICU?”

A middle-aged woman with red hair and frosted tips looked up at Brian over the top of her reading glasses. “Which ICU?”

Brian’s shoulders sagged at her response. “I dunno, Nick Carter is in ICU, what floor is it on?”

Sighing as she pushed her paperback novel aside, the woman started clicking the keys on the computer. “I don’t see any Carter....”

AJ stepped up to the counter, banging his fists. “Listen lady, he’s in here, just try a looking a little harder!”

“There’s no need to get snotty with me sir.....”

Howie gently pushed AJ aside. “His name is spelled N-i-c-k-o-l-a-s C-a-r-t-e-r.”

The woman nodded as she typed in the corrected spelling. “He’s in ICU on seven...” Brian interrupted the woman as he pushed himself away from the counter racing toward the row of elevators down the hallway. “Sir! Sir! Only immediate family can go to ICU!” She called out as she watched the four men rush off.

Brian repeatidly pressed the button to call for an elevator to take them up to the seventh floor, all the while muttering under his breath, ”Come on.....come on.” To him it seemed to take forever before the doors finally opened and he slipped in, barely allowing the passengers time to get off as he frantically pushed the button to seven.

The anguish Brian was feeling in his heart was nothing compared to the guilt he was feeling in his head. Only a few hours ago he was thinking about leaving his best friend to go home to his wife...thinking that everything was going to be alright with Nick and now this was happening......what if he had already flown out to Atlanta? What if something really bad was happening with Nick? Would he have been able to live with himself knowing that he had abandoned him when he needed him the most? And what about Leighanne? What if something bad was happening with her?

“Brian, it’s our floor.”

“Huh?” He turned toward Kevin’s voice and realized there were four sets of eyes staring at him and the elevator had stopped.

“Are you alright?”

Straightening his posture, Brian started heading off the elevator. “Yeah, sorry.”

They followed the signs that led to the ICU ward, stopping at a nurse’s station that was situated outside of closed steel double doors. The words NO ADMITTANCE was boldly labeled in red across both doors.

“We’re here to see Nick Carter,” Kevin stated with a calm voice.

The man behind the counter looked at the young men suspeciously. “Only family members are allowed.”

“We are his family,” AJ rasped.

The male nurse set his jaw in determination as he looked at AJ and Howie. “Yeah, I’m sure you are but only real family members are allowed.”

As AJ opened his mouth to reply to the nurse, Kevin placed a hand on AJ’s shoulder. “Look, we’re his only family here, so we should be able to go in to see him.”

“Sorry, rules are rules.”

Kevin gestured toward Brian. “What about him? He’s Nick’s patient advocate, he should at least be able to go in.”

The nurse eyed Brian as he reached back for a chart. “What’s your name?” As Brian gave him his name, the nurse opened the chart and flipped through a few pages. He stood up and motioning with his hand, he said, “I’ll take you in. The rest of you can wait in the waiting room on my left.”

Brian looked at Kevin with sad eyes as he turned toward the ICU doors. Kevin placed a comforting hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “Go on, it’s okay.”

“You can only stay for ten minutes,” the nurse stated as he led Brian to the doorway leading to the room.

Standing outside Nick’s ICU room, Brian drew a deep breath in. He wasn’t sure how he’d find Nick and from his vantage point outside the glass, all he could see was IV’s, monitors and his nurse standing beside his bedside. She turned for a moment to acknowledge Brian and then returned her attention to her patient.

“You can come in, it’s okay....”

Hesitantly, Brian inched his way into the room, afraid to get too close to the bed.

“You can come up here, I’m about finished.”

“I don’t want to get in your way...... how is he?”

“Guarded.”

Brian tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Guarded wasn’t a good word, was it? “Guarded, is that good?”

The nurse adjusted the IV tubing and answered without taking her eyes away from a monitor. “Out of all the choices he could be evaluated as, guarded is good for his situation. I’m finished checking his lines, you can come up and see him if you want.”

“Um....why exactly was Nick put in ICU?”

“I’m sorry, I’m really not at liberty to talk about the patient...”

“I’m his patient advocate.”

“Oh, well then I guess I can tell you.... he spiked a temp and we are having difficulty bringing it down. Dr. Andersen is running tests to determine the cause of the fever.”

“But why ICU?”

“He’s an oncology patient and there is certain criteria that is followed for intensive care admissions. With him being on chemo, a fever indicates a possible infection and we need to find out where the infection is. He needs constant nursing care and he may need to be in isolation if his blood counts don’t pick up soon.”

Brian felt numb when he heard isolation. He remembered his talk with Dr. Andersen and she had outlined some of the things that could cause Nick’s progress to go backwards and that isolation was one. This was all becoming too surreal.

“Go ahead, he’s not a canidate for isolation just yet,” the nurse stated softly as she approached Brian, breaking him out of his dazed trance.

“Huh?”

“You can go be with Nick if you’d like. He’s sleeping right now but I’m sure he’d be happy to have someone here. I’ll be out at my station if you need anything.”

Brian slowly approached the bed, taking in all the equipment that was surrounding Nick. It wasn’t the first time that he was hooked up to so many devices, but the reality of this time was almost too much for Brian to take. He was in ICU and the uncertainty of his condition had Brian scared.

He scooped Nick’s hand into his, surprised at how warm his skin was.

“Ma-mom........I’m so thristy,” Nick mumbled hoarsely.

Brian tightened his hold on his brother’s hand. “Shh-hhh Nicky, it’s me.”

“I wanna go ride my bike.....I cleaned my plate.”

Brian furrowed his brows as he listened to Nick’s incoherant rambling. “Nick, you’re in the hospital....” Looking down at his sweat soaked, pale complextion, Brian knew that his explanation was in vain. The fever had Nick in its tight grip and he may as well be talking Swedish because anything he had uttered wasn’t being comprehended.

“I’m thirsty....”

Just as Brian was letting go of Nick’s hand, his nurse re-entered the room.

“Nick says he’s thirsty.”

Without hesitating, the nurse returned with a cup with a straw. “Sip slowly,” she said softly.

“Have they called his folks?” Brian asked.

“Yes, I think his father.”

‘Figures,’ Brian mentally decided. He knew how wrapped up Jane Carter was with Aaron and he figured since her and Nick’s falling out that she would make sure she kept a distance from her son. He had a hard time accepting that this woman could be so cold hearted to her own flesh and blood. If it was his mother, no matter what the circumstances, she would be there for him, as what all mothers should do. His thoughts were broken away when Nick started coughing.

“Dr. Andersen wants this started STAT,” a young woman said as she entered the room carrying a small IV bag, wearing latex gloves and a mask. “We’re going to have to move him to isolation.”

Brian’s eyes widened. His worst fears were starting to happen.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“RSV,” the nurse replied in a mechanical voice.

“RSV? What......what’s RSV?”

“Respiratory Syncytial Virus.”

Brian shook his head. “What does that mean?”

“It means that it’s something very serious for Nick,” the older of the two nurses explained. “It’s a common illness in children and babies but can prove fatal for cancer patients. Basically, Nick has a cold but he got a nasty virus and if we don’t treat it he could die from this.”

Brian gasped. “He could die?”

“We’re doing everything we can for Nick and hopefully his system will fight this.”

During the explanation of what was happening to Nick, Brian noticed that his friend had fallen asleep. He reached over to take his hand when several people came into the ICU room wearing gowns and masks, latex gloves on their hands.

“I’m sorry but you’re going to have to leave while we transfer him. We will call for you when he’s settled.” After the nurse made her statement, she placed a surgical mask over Nick’s face.

Brian squeezed Nick’s hand before he parted. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Mechanically, Brian pressed on the blue plate that would allow the huge steel double doors to open. Taking a deep breath, he trudged toward the waiting room, unsure if he wanted to face his band brothers and tell him how Nick was doing.

Upon entering the small room, he found Howie thumbing through a magazine, AJ and Kevin drinking coffee. No one had noticed him at first when he entered the room; it was AJ that quickly started asking questions.

“How is he.....can we go in and see him?”

“They’re moving him into isolation,” Brian replied in a flat voice.

Kevin’s face visibly paled. “What?”

Brian tugged a hand through his hair as he tried to keep his composure. “They’re moving him into isolation.”

Howie had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing first hand that isolation was never something good....especially when you were ill with a life-threatening disease. Thoughts of his sister Caroline sprung into his mind; goosebumps on his arms.

All eyes watched as Brian quietly sank down into the chair that was positioned by the open door. Not until he rested his elbows on his knees and bowed his head into his hands did anyone dare ask the question that was hanging in the silent room.

“Why is Nick going into isolation.......has something happened from the surgery?” Kevin asked in a calm voice.

With his head still in his hands, Brian only shook his head negatively. A few moments had passed without anymore explanations from Brian.

“Jesus.......why the fuck are they taking Nick into isolation,” AJ demanded.

Brian lifted his head to look at AJ; unshed tears shining in his eyes. “He’s got RSV.”

AJ narrowed his eyes. “What the hell is that? Another cancer?”

The tears that Brian had been holding in finally slipped down his cheeks. “No it’s not another cancer......it’s a virus....they told me what it was called...respiratory something.”

Howie finally spoke up. “I know what that is, one of my nieces had that when she was a baby.” Kevin and AJ directed their attention to the Latino.

“Babies get that? So how come Nick got it?” AJ demanded. “What kind of fucked up place is this hospital?”

Kevin shot a dark look at AJ’s direction. ”AJ!”

“The hospital knows what they’re doing,” Howie stated softly.

“Is it because of the surgery that they put him into ICU?” Kevin questioned.

Brian shook his head. “No......I guess Nicky had started running a fever.....”

“Don’t they know that’s normal for Kaos?” AJ interrupted.

Ignoring AJ’s comment, Brian continued. “And they were having a hard time bringing it down. They did some tests to find out what the cause of the fever was and I guess something came back saying he had RSV.....”

As Kevin and Howie digested the information that Brian gave them, AJ paced the floor.

“Did you get to talk to Nick at all?” Howie asked.

“No, not really, he was kinda out-of-it when I was in there,” Brian paused for a moment, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I guess he was delirious from the high fever......God, his hand was really hot.”

A young male doctor entered the waiting room, interrupting the coversation. “I’m Dr. Simon, which one of you is Brian Littrell?”

Brian felt his heart leap into his throat, millions of thoughts running through his mind. “I-I am.”

The doctor glanced at the other men in the room. “We need to talk about Mr. Carter, please follow me to the conference room.....”

“You can talk here......we’re Nick’s family,” Brian replied in a strong voice.

Dr. Simon sat in the seat next to Brian. “Alright then. I’m an intern working with Dr. Andersen and I need to get some specifics on Mr. Carter.” Kevin automatically placed a firm hand on AJ’s forearm when he could see his brother’s reactions to the doctor’s statement out of the corner of his eye.

Brian nodded in reply.

“Would you say before his diagnosis of the lymphoma, Nick was generally in good health?”

“Jesus Christ!” AJ sputtered, slapping Kevin’s hand away from his arm. “Why don’t you read his fucking chart? I’m sure that has everything you fucking need to know!”

Kevin smiled weakly at the doctor, embarrassed at AJ’s outburst.

“I’ve known Nick for over ten years and he usually seemed prone to picking up every bug that seemed to be floating around,” Brian stated.

“Did he have unusually high fevers?”

“No......I don’t think he did........”

Normally Howie would wait quietly in the background but this time he uncharacteristically spoke up. “Yes he did, Brian don’t you remember when we were on tour in Japan and they thought Nicky had the mumps and he was put into the hospital because of his high fever?”

“Oh, yeah, that was probably when he got sick with this,” Brian commented in a hushed whisper. “This fever......how bad is it?”

The young doctor sighed. “It’s always serious in a chemotherapy patient. We’ve got him on Respigam which is a strong antibiotic for Respiratory Syncytial Virus and he’s also getting some IV fluids to hopefully bring the fever down.”

“How high is his temperature?” Kevin questioned.

“Last time he was checked, he was at 105.3,” Dr. Simon replied.

“Why did you take Nick into isolation? Because of the fever?” Kevin asked.

Dr. Simon shook his head. “No, Nick was placed into isolation because of the RSV. He is at risk for developing pneumonia with this but he is also an infection risk for other patients on the ICU floor.”

“How did Nick get something that only babies get?” AJ demanded. “Was it something that this place did to him? Did you infect him?”

Kevin smiled, but the red tinge on his cheeks displayed the embarrassment he was feeling for AJ’s outburst. “Nick is in the best place possible and we know you’ll do everything that you can to help him.

The intern nodded slightly. “Thanks.”

Brian stopped the young doctor as he was leaving. “Doctor, would it possible for these guys to see Nick too? We’re all his family basically, and I was just wondering if it would be alright.”

The doctor glanced at Howie, Kevin and then his eyes rested on AJ’s face for a moment before he looked back at Brian. “I don’t see that there should be a problem, but it would only be one person at a time since there will be sterile precautions in isolation. I’ll let the nursing staff know.”

After the doctor left the waiting room, AJ suddenly strode towards the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Kevin quietly demanded.

“I need a cigarette,” AJ rasped, barely hesitating in his steps. Kevin could only shake his head in disgust as he watched the skinny man hurry out of the waiting room. He knew that this was AJ’s private way of dealing with stress.

As AJ took the elevator to the lobby, he kept his eyes focused to the floor, not bothering to make eye contact with any of the passengers. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, he just wanted to be left alone in his own misery.

Quickly stepping through the revolving doors, he wasted no time placing a cigarette to his lips, cupping the shiny gold lighter and flipping it open expertly with one hand. Taking a deep drag from the cigarette, he could feel the calming nicotine reach the depths of his lungs. Exhaling slowly, he walked a few feet away from the entrance.

After finishing the first cigarette, AJ dug into his front shirt pocket pulling out a fresh pack. As he stood softly slamming the package of smokes against his open palm, he slowed his actions when he caught sight of what appeared to be Bob Carter exiting a taxi dashing towards the entrance.

“Hey Bob!” AJ approached the older man, taking in his disheveled appearance.

Bob Carter slowed, running a hand over his blonde hair, trying to straighten the mess.

“Where’s Jane?”

Instead of taking time to stop and have a conversation with AJ, he kept walking only saying that his wife was still in LA.

Still holding onto the pack of cigarettes, AJ followed Bob through the revolving doors. “Still in LA?” he asked increduliously. “What do you mean still in LA? Taking a later flight?”

“No, I mean she’s still in Los Angeles and won’t be coming down here.”

“You know that Nick’s in ICU, right?”

“Yes, they told us that when they called........how is he?”

“ICU......that means Intensive Care, Bob......”

“I know what ICU means AJ,” Bob Carter hissed.

“So why the fuck ain’t Jane with you then?”

Finally Bob Carter stopped and turned to face AJ. “None of your goddamn business..”

AJ’s face turned a deep shade of crimson from the rage he was feeling inside. “You mean to tell me that that bitch didn’t bother to come to see her son?”

Bob Carter stared icily at his son’s tattooed bandmate. “So are you going to take me to see my son or do I have to talk to someone at the information desk?”

“I can take you up to the waiting room, he’s being moved to isolation.....I think if I were you I’d get my head out of my ass and call my wife to tell her that her son might be dying....”