“What ‘cha thinking about?”

Nick jerked from his thoughts looking over at AJ. “Huh?”

“I asked what you were thinking about, you didn’t look like you were on the same planet.”

Nick ran a finger along the rim of his glass of water. “Nothing.”

AJ flipped a kitchen chair backwards, straddling the seat. “Kaos, you realize you can’t fool me....I’ve known you way too long so spill it.”

“There’s nothing to spill,” Nick replied not bothering to look up at his bandmate, eyes trained on the untouched glass of water.

AJ laid his head ontop of the chair, focusing his eyes on the young man. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke once again. “Aren’t you gonna take them?”

“Take what?”

“The pills you’ve been playing with ever since I came into the kitchen,” he gestured with a thumb at the assortment of medication that laid on the table next to the glass of water.

Nick shrugged his shoulders in reply. “I’m starting to wonder if there is really a point of all of it.”

AJ sighed. “Christ Nick, we’ve been over this a million times......you need to take them to help you get better---”

“Well I’m not,” Nick snapped.

“What? You mean you’re not taking them?”

“No I meant to say I’m not getting better......and I doubt I should take this crap anymore.....it kinda makes me feel sick to my stomach about an hour after I take that blue pill and well after the pink one too.....and....” Nick scooped the mixture of eleven pills into his hand and shoved them into his mouth followed by a generous gulp of water.

AJ watched as his brother followed the routine that had become a part of his daily exsistence. “Now that wasn’t so bad was it?”

Wiping his mouth with the back of a hand, Nick grimaced. “Bad? It was shitty.” Slowly rising from his seat, Nick took small, measured steps toward the kitchen sink with the drinking glass.

“Let me take care of it for you,” AJ offered.

“I can do it myself, I’m not crippled,” Nick spat.

“Good morning fellas,” Howie sing-songed his way into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Nick grunted.

Howie looked at Nick and then mouthed ‘what’s wrong?’ to AJ.

“I’m going to lay down, you can talk all you want about me when I leave the room.”

“Nicky, we’re not gonna talk about you, I just wodered if somethings wrong by the way you’re acting,” Howie defended.

Nick stopped in his footsteps, slouching his shoulders. “Why can’t I say I’m tired without everyone wondering whats wrong? You guys are always wondering whats wrong. I’m sick! I have cancer! I’m probably dying! Do you want to ask me anything else?..........Good, I’m going to lay down.”

Howie stood in the kitchen; mouth agape staring as Nick slowly made his way out of the kitchen toward the downstairs room that Kevin had set up for his temporary bedroom. “I just don’t understand the mood swings,” he whispered as he made his way over to the coffee pot. “Even when he was well he would bite my head off and then when he first was sick with this he was all quiet not wanting to hurt feelings but gosh now he seems to be angry at everyone and everything. I just don’t understand....”

Nick stopped in the middle of the living room. “I’m just sick of all the questions, okay? It’s got nothing to do with you, please don’t take it personally.”

With that said, Nick slowly made his way back towards the room that used to house his prize possesions. Gone was the wide screen television, the PS2, the XBox, replaced with a hospital bed, an IV pump and emesis basins. The constant reminder of how his life had dramatically changed.

He hated the way his game room had been transformed into a sick room. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the decisions that Kevin had made for him from the hospital equipment right down to the handicap ramp leading up to his front door. No, it wasn’t that Nick didn’t appreciate the changes it was the reality of the changes that confronted him.

He had cancer and it was unpredictible.

AJ plopped his feet ontop of the coffee table, tucking his arms underneath his head. “Boy that kid must be tuckered out today. He’s slept for almost ten hours.”

“Yeah well you know he tires easily,” Howie replied, not bothering to lower the newspaper he was reading.

“But ten hours? That has to be a record for Nick!”

Finally Howie laid the newspaper down, checking his watch. “Wow, I guess I didn’t realize that it was almost seven-thirty. Should we call for a pizza or something? I bet Nick will probably be hungry when he wakes up.”

“Shouldn’t we have woke him up for his meds?” AJ questioned.

“Just let him sleep until the pizza gets here.....I’m sure a few hours won’t matter.”

“But what do we say when Kevin comes back?”

“That Nick was tired and slept?”

“No dumbass, I mean about the meds. You know how Kevin is totally anal when it comes to schedules and Nick taking his meds has to be a strict schedule.”

“True, I guess we don’t say anything unless Kevin asks us specifically......where’s the phone book?”

AJ smirked. “I think Kaos has the pizza place on speed dial.”

“Yeah but what number?”

“Try pound 9-1-1.....”

Howie furrowed his brow at the rebel. “Ha ha funny Jay,” he stated dryly.

“I dunno I think I saw Nick do a pound six once, try that number.”

“Seriously Bone, I’m not gonna pic some random number!”

AJ grabbed the phone from Howie. “D you’re such a fricken pansy!” With his tongue poked out from a corner of his mouth, AJ pressed #911. After two rings, a soft, very female voice answered.

"Vanessa's Erotica Sex Line, who would you like to speak with tonight, Mr. Adams?"

A quick smile curved on AJ's lips when the realization of the nature of the #911 was for. "Um, I can't remember her name, could you check my file and tell me?"

"Certainly Mr. Adams, one moment please.....I'm sorry but Monique no longer is with us, she left back in 2001. Would you like to speak with Rachel, she may be within your tastes?"

"Sure," AJ grinned, leaning back into the sofa. Howie looked questionably at his rebel brother.

"Alright sir, but it's been since the winter of 2001 that we've last spoke with you, I need to update our files, can you please verify your credit card information before I transfer your call?"

"Ah, no thanks, I'm suddenly not in the mood anymore, thanks," with that, AJ disconnected the call.

"Not in the mood for what and who were you talking to? Is Nick on a first name basis with the pizza person or something?" Howie demanded.

Setting the phone down, AJ chuckled to himself. "Nope, seems like our little Nicky was on a first name basis with the phone sex people."

"When the heck did Nick do that? I thought he was too tired to do much of anything when he's awake."

AJ's smile faded. Clearing his throat, he blinked the tears back that were starting to well up into his eyes. "Yeah, um, he hasn't done that since 2002, must be right before he got sick I guess."

Howie sat in silence, digesting the reality that AJ pointed out. After a few moments, he quickly stood up. "I'm gonna go check in on Nicky, you find that pizza place number and call them, okay?"

On his way toward Nick's room, he was stopped as the front door swung open, revealing rain-soaked Kevin Richardson. Howie looked past the tall Kentuckian. "It's raining out?"

Kicking the heavy wooden door closed with his left foot Kevin glared at the Latino with disgust. "Pouring! I thought the Bruce's flight was going to be delayed again, but thank God the thunderstorms passed. How's Nick?"

"I was just going in to check on him."

Kevin's eyes widened in alarm. "Something wrong with Nick?"

"No, I was just checking on him, he's been taking a long nap today..."

Kevin reached out and grabbed Howie's shoulder. "Long nap? How long of a nap that you have to check up on him?"

"How did the meeting go with Bruce?"

Kevin leveled a seering glare into Howie's eyes. "Don't change the subject! How long has Nick been sleeping?"

Not waiting for an answer, he brushed past Howie and burst into the sickroom. Kevin rushed up to the side of the hospital bed and turned on the small lamp that had been situated ontop of the nightstand. Pausing for a brief moment, he placed a hand onto of the young man's forehead.

"He's burning up! Howie, when did he go to bed?"

"Um I-I don't remember," the Latino stammered. "Just wake him up and give him something for the fever, I'm sure he's fine, maybe he got overheated with the blankets and stuff."

"Got the pizza called in for delivery, they said something like 20 minutes," AJ announced as he walked into the room.

Kevin turned, glaring at AJ. "What time did Nick go to bed?"

AJ shrugged his shoulders, glancing at his watch. "I dunno, like maybe nine, ten hours ago, why?"

"Ten hours! Jesus.....Nick! C'mon buddy, wake up, please," Kevin went from a booming voice to a pleading voice as he rubbed Nick's shoulder. Kevin didn't stop rubbing the ailing man's shoulder as he muttered, "He missed his scheduled meds, I thought you two would be ontop of this stuff and not let him miss his scheduled meds."

"We figured he needed the rest..we lost track of the time," AJ admitted sheepishly in defense.

"Ten fucking hours?!"

"He needed his rest, he said he was tired," Howie defended.

"I can't wake him up," Kevin softly sobbed, "Call an ambulance!"

Just as the words were uttered, Nick stirred, a small whimper escaped his mouth.

"Nick? Wake up, please," Kevin pleaded.

Nick blinked his eyes several times as he tried to get his bearings.

"Hey Kaos," AJ rasped, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Furrowing his brow as he looked up at his older brothers gathered around his bed, Nick tried to comprehend why they were looming over him with tears in their eyes. "What are you guys doing in here?" he softly questioned. "Don't you have your own rooms?"

"Yeah, but you slept for almost eleven hours, kiddo," Kevin sniffled.

Nick narrowed his eyes as he focused on Kevin's wet clothes and hair. "Why are you wet?"

"You're burning up, I'm calling an ambulance to take you back to the hospital," the Kentuckian replied, ignoring the question.

"Just chill Kev, I get warm sometimes when I sleep, no big deal."

"It is a big deal Nick, you're running a temp and I know damn well it's pretty high."

Nick dismissed his fears. "I don't think so."

Reaching into the top drawer of the night stand, Kevin produced the ear-style thermometer and quickly placed it into Nick's ear. In seconds the device beeped. Pulling it out, Kevin glanced at the reading only to pull the device closer to his eyes. "103.9, I'm calling an ambulance!"

"No Kevin! Please don't do that!" Nick protested, grabbing the older man's arm.

"Nicky, you need to get to the hospital, you have a high fever."

"I've had higher fevers than that and you know it Kev."

"Yeah but that was before you had cancer and I know for a fact that this is serious Nick."

"Maybe it's cause I slept for too long? Yeah, that has to be it," he theorized.

"Nicky, you probably should go to the hospital," Howie joined in the debate.

"How about if I eat, lemme eat something I'm sure I'll be okay."

"Nick, I have to do this," Kevin insisted.

"You can call, but I'm not going."

"Kaos, why are you being so stubborn? They will probably give you an IV or something and keep you overnight and you'll get bounced out in the morning," AJ stated.

Nick turned his head away from the men standing around his bed. "No it won't be that way."

"Huh? What are you talking about Nicky? I'm sure it will be that way."

Nick looked at the guys, ignorning the unchecked tears on his cheeks. "If I leave here tonight, I won't be coming back."

"Not tonight you won't," AJ agreed.

Nick shook his head. "Ever."