No one has really explained to me why they've gone all protective on my recently. I know there must have been something that happened but for the life of me, I couldn't put a finger on what happened and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask anyone, I'm fine with just going with the flow just as long as the flow didn't start getting weird.

So like the other day I was bawling my eyes out like a wuss......was it the other day or today? Anyway, I was crying like a baby and AJ of all people didn't make fun of me or tell me to suck it up. My mom would say that to me, 'Nick suck it up.....babies don't belong in show biz.'

"Yo....Nick, dude you're spacing out again!"

"Huh?"

"Pay attention and lets get this over!"

I stared at my verbal tormentor. Did I mention earlier how AJ could be nice to me? I take that back.

"Dude, I wanna go back to my room and catch up on some long lost sleep and if you keep spacing out the photog is gonna be pissed and you know that means we will be sitting here for an hour longer!"

Why is AJ getting on my case? I thought they were being protective over me.....

"Jay, leave Nick alone. I'm sure he's not really feeling up to this."

Kevin Richardson to the rescue again! "Thanks Kev....I'm fine, I just spaced out for a sec is all."

"It's shit like this that makes my blood boil," Kevin sputtered.

"I'm sorry Kev, I'll try to do better," I quickly apologized, wincing when I realized that my voice came out in a high pitched squeak.

"I wasn't talking about you....it's Pearlman I'm pissed about."

"I think you have enough pictures."

My mouth must have dropped to the floor. I can't believe Brian would try to decided when a photo shoot was done. I was waiting for Kevin's face to turn purple. He always hated it when someone would act like they were the spokesperson for the group. Bracing myself for listening to him go postal on his cousin, I was surprised when Kevin turned to the photographer.

"I agree, Nick here has been through the wringer the past 24 hours and I think this was pushing it."

Okay, again with them saying I had been through some type of hell.....what were they talking about? I don't remember anything going on that they would suddenly stop a photo shoot.

"What exactly happened again?"

Good!......The guy is asking exactly what I've been wanting to know myself without asking and having them think I'm completely crazy or on crack.

"Oh no you don't.....pack your shit up pal, this ain't no free interview....you were here for pictures and that's all!"

Since when did AJ turn down free publicity? I think I got beamed to another planet like they do in Star Trek because AJ never and I mean never turns down free publicity and Brian never has the balls to stand up to his cousin. I could only sit and watch the photographer hurriedly pack his gear and run from the conference room. Howie Dorough was the only one that seemed normal in this new universe.

"Hey we might as well finish up the food that they delivered," Howie said as he walked over to the buffet table. I watched the Latino walk up to the spread, grabbing a paper plate. The next thing Howie did just about made me gag. He accidentally dropped a cracker and instead of tossing it in the wastebasket, he picked the cracker up and blew on it and then popped it into his mouth.

Scratch Howie being the only normal person in this new universe! Howie is overly weird about cleanliness I couldn't believe my eyes when he blew on the cracker and actually ate it. He was the first one that would yell at me if I picked something up off the floor and eat it. I mean this guy literally gags at the sight of dirty fingernails.

"Did I just see you eat that cracker?"

Howie smiled. "Ten second rule."

"Huh?"

"Yeah you know Nicky, ten second rule...if something drops to the floor it won't pick up any germs before 10 seconds," AJ grinned and stuck a celery stick in his mouth.

I seriously was beginning to think I was dead.

"Nick looks like he needs to go back and rest," Brian said as he threw a paper plate into the trash. "You want me to take him up?"

"I think I can manage on my own," I protested.

"I don't think so little man---"

"Jesus Kevin I'm not a little man! I'm 17!"

"Easy Nick, don't get worked up."

"What do you care and why are you guys hanging on me like I'm a little kid? I'm really getting sick of it!"

If my head hadn't started pounding I would have continued yelling, I was sort of getting away with it, Kevin didn't tell me to shut up and AJ just stared at me like I had a bright red zit on my forehead - shocked and yet repulsed by the sight. Instead of waiting for Brian to take me by the hand or something else totally gay and lead me back to my hotel room, I decided I would just head up there on my own.

BIG MISTAKE....

My legs suddenly decided it was time to show the world how graceful I was and somehow a foot got tangled in the rug and I found myself staring face down in the plush green carpet. Did I forget to mention the desk I met up with on my way to the floor? Good thing I kept my mouth shut when I fell or I have the feeling I would have had my front teeth missing.

"Shit Nicky, are you okay?"

Before I even dared to answer, I ran my tongue across my teeth to do a quick inventory. Yep, all there.

"Yeah fine."

Judging by the look on AJ's face I looked all but fine. "Jesus, he's got a fat lip."

"We better get him upstairs and get it iced," Brian concluded as he studied my face.

This time I let them lead me down the hall to the bank of elevators. I seriously found myself holding back tears again and now I'm beginning to wonder why I wanted to cry? It wasn't like I fell intentionally. Why do I feel like I want to bawl all of a sudden?

"I don't think I've ever met anyone so accident prone like Nick in my entire life," AJ rasped once we got into the elevators.

That was the comment that did it. The tears were slipping down my face. Why was I so accident prone? What did I do to deserve this?

It wasn't until I felt Brian's arm around my shoulder did I feel it was safe to let go.