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She clenched her fingers tightly around the folds of her skirt as she held her hands to her sides. Kill or be killed… Minako’s life is unimportant, but is that the only way to live that exists in this world? Is it inevitable that keeping your own life means someone else’s death? If the one thing people want the most is life, does that mean they would pursue that goal to whatever conclusion it reached? Does life have to be achieved at the expense of another’s life? After all, life is determined by one’s own will. That alone means that life or death is dependent only upon how much one person desires to live. But, how is it that this world full of death and blood seems only illusionary compared to my world? Yet, the demons claim the opposite. How can a world full of blood, death, and tears be reality?

Even in the deepest darkness of any world, fictional or real, the world itself is basically good. But this world has turned all my notions upside down. I’d had one person who always loved me, places I felt safe, a family that cared about me relatively well… I had my own share of problems, of course, but life has been relatively good. Now I’ve been thrown into a world where only death can solve a problem and where every inhabitant turned toward their sword for protection. Is there no system of laws? No scholars? Where is the order in the world? Is it merely one of those places where each person is above the law? Is that any way to live?

This world does have its emperors and kings, so it seems like it should have laws. And obviously the kings employ the military to protect the order within their country, however, it seems like their only use is protecting order from invaders as they disregard internal discord. Without internal order, they allow men to fight blood brawls in the street because they feel as though ruthless killing is the only way to survive. It’s a false security to build yourself up as the strongest, only to come crashing down in an instant -- a personal lie. That’s no way to live. Are people in this world that weak that they can reassure themselves with false securities about the quality of their hearts? Is there a hidden strength within this world? Something that everyone could grasp if they could reach it with their own two hands? Or is it hopeless? Something that no one can reach?

“You always stare at my back and cry. Have these catacombs and shadows scared you into submission? Will you never cry for me again? Of course, the condescending bewitching beauty already appeared in Rubiihoppou. Even the Sapphire priestess seems to have her own weak, but defining characteristics. You, Lady Renee, must be a sham of the others.”

Is the Holy box the source of all the untapped strength in this world? In a way, it must be. After all, it is the sealing mechanism of the cardinal demons’ vicious powers. Their strength is said to surpass that of any other demon or mortal. So why are their powers sealed if they’re still powerful? Is it that sealed strength that enables the priestess to make her wishes? And if that is true, does all the strength of the world become concentrated within her instead of the demons when she opens it? Is that the reason all the priestesses want the box? So that they could become the strongest person in the world? Once the priestess is the strongest, does the box become a status symbol and nothing more? Maybe if the priestesses only wished for petty, material things, then the demons and the country could reap the benefits of her wishes.

After all, they are the ones seeking the box. And if the box is reserved for the priestess to become strong, then there has to be some reason they want it. They said something very precious to them had been sealed within it, but there’s no guarantee that it will be given back to them. Without guarantees, there must be something about the box that they cherish even more. And what happens to the priestesses in the end? It seems that the losers are disposed of. But what happens to the victor? Will her material wishes satisfy her? Or are they merely worthless imaginings? Is there a way that a priestess can wish for something much more important than her own frivolous desires? And if so, what are those precious things? Life is all about wants and desires, I know that better than anyone, but is there another way? The demons had originally only wanted to live and such a simple wish turned them into murders. Her arms trembled.

“Weak. Why are you weak?! Did you forget how she betrayed you?! Did you forget how she failed to contact you?! How she ran off with that damned demon?! Did you forget that?! And you want to go back to the illusionary world with her?!”

An illusionary world? Is that all my previous existence had been? Meaningless? Lifeless? Imaginary? Is everything a sham? Something that could shatter without a warning or a clue? It seems almost impossible for such a cheerful existence to be a world of mirrors, traps, and illusions. Aren’t there no consequences for wonderful things? It isn’t a world of labyrinths like this castle, merely a world where the ordinary is expected and life is a day by day existence. No thrills, no danger, just safe. Is it impossible for a world to exist like that? Does everything have to be rife with dead ends and hidden entryways? This castle would be easier if it was straightforward. Nothing is as it seems here.

Is my wish a weak material thing? I was always taught to protect myself or solve problems with words. I never thought that I would begin something intending to end it with death. And especially not Minako’s death! She was the one who had always been there for me, never said anything bad about me, and was always willing to lend me a hand or a word or anything. How could everything change so quickly? The kind and supportive Minako has changed, starting from the moment she ignored my screams, compounded by ignoring my correspondence. Never one single reply. Minako was always terrible with thank you letters, but she always responded to me. Why should this be any different? And its urgency should have made her reply quicker, not slower! How had her heart changed so rapidly from the gleeful girl that always smiled and gave her whole heart no matter what?

I feel like I’m completely different from who I used to be, someone inadequate who only falters, who never stands up for myself. No, I’m worse than that... I used to be the girl who sat at the front of class, took notes, and passed every exam that came her way. I could always give a logical solution to an otherwise illogical problem. I was the smart one, but always supportive to my friends. There weren’t many of them, but everyone who looked past my reading glasses and saw a wonderful girl who tried her best for everyone who needed her was able to have a wonderful friend in me. But what am I now? Lost? Alone? Weak, as Justin called me? I am weak… No, I’m worse than weak, I’m really nothing... What was it that despicable creature told me about weakness?

“What have you seen of the world, Renee?”

So much blood and tears…

“What gives you the right to say that?”

Have I not battled? Are my hardships meaningless? Why are all these creatures so sure that their way is right?

“So seeing means experiencing? Shut up.”

How can you say that? I was there before you ever were! You’re only something small in her life!

“Leave your demons out of this, Renee, I’m talking to you. If you want to prove your strength, then you’ll listen.”

You don’t know about my strength… You don’t know about my heart… How dare you judge me!

“True, I have been told many things about you, but as far as I can tell, they’re all false. But, what right do I have to say anything? The last time we met, you merely sat on the ground convulsing from the scent of blood. I thought you were weak.”

Is it true? Is the world larger and worse than I know? Justin also accused me of being weak, just like this creature... Weakness… Emptiness… So, if they all say so, then I must really be a sham, created only from the fleeting strength of the other priestesses… I must be when my supposed comrade and my enemy agree...

“Weak compared to your comrade who stood reaching her arms out to you until the moment she collapsed.”

You lie… Not here… She’s never been my friend here… And she never reached her arms out to me because… Because she had you! I’m nothing to her here! No matter how long we’ve been friends!

“You’re right… I probably have no right to discuss this particular subject… But I will say this. Your view of the world is narrow. I believed in your heart from the first moment that I heard her voice shake for the blonde haired girl in red barrettes, but… Even I have lost faith. Me, who wanted to believe in you so badly for her sake… Enough is enough.”

Narrow… How can you call it that? How else is the world supposed to be viewed by people who have nothing and no one? Only their false hopes… and their past…. How can you expect them to grasp a wide view of a desolate world?

“You have seen nothing of the world. Where are your blood and tears? You fought like hell? Don’t give me those lies. We battled you and your ruthless general who would be happy to tear our limbs from us and lick whatever blood came running from them…”

Ruthless…. Killing for the sake of killing… Were you not raised that way? Kill or be killed… Does that philosophy not exist to you?

“Don’t change the subject Renee… I’m trying to show you what hell is…”

Hell? This world of traps and mirrors… This world is the illusionary world and it is hell. I don’t need your help to find it.

“See this wound, even the bandages won’t help it. It hurt like hell then, and even now it's still bleeding. But, I overcame that. Even when we tried to heal ourselves your general came after us like we were his prize catch in the forest. Thanks to Brian’s barrier, we were protected, but… for how long? Didn’t you wonder why we left?”

Why did they leave? Did they leave because they knew they were going to die… Then, even if you won’t kill or be killed, you understand the philosophy of living and dying… Of finding death at the heart of life… Is that existence painful to you? Killing or being killed…

“Poor Renee, you wanted to hurt her, didn’t you? Because for some reason, you want to put others through hell for your own sick gain! Even now she’s crying for you!”

That is different from life or death for you… You have always been alone, but she left me all alone! I didn’t choose this!

“You chased us here to this land of ice covered in a miasma of blood! We fought the ice and something worse than death! A creature who was far stronger than your general could ever be! All this for a box!”

All for a box… A box? Did you find something more important than the Holy box? What in this world is more important than the source of strength for the entire world? Pandora’s strength is in the box! Don’t you want Pandora’s strength to bless you?

“Is that what you think? She wants it for me, but… One of her wishes would be for you… Can’t her heart be large enough for both of us?”

No… No, because… Because she already made her choice! At a time when I needed her the most… And not just because we were friends, because I was really hurting! But… But she chose a demon over me! A mere creature! Someone who knows nothing of the real world, who lives in an illusionary world of only darkness and preys upon the weak! Is that all I am now? Prey for her demon? Is my existence that meaningless that I am no longer even a fragmentary person? That I am now nothing!

Lance turned to face her as a lone tear trickled down her cheek.

“Your Eminence…”

She glanced up at him as her hands continued to tremble. “Why… is the darkness so cold?”

“It’s empty and there’s no light. Everyone wants to be surrounded in warmth.”

“Why?” She wiped her hand across her cheeks.

“Your Eminence…” He grabbed one of her hands and held it tightly.

“I never thought…” She began laughing quietly as she sniffed up her tears. Why? Why are his words haunting me? He’s merely a worthless creature. But… They’re stinging straight through my heart. Maybe we’re both… searching for something… The same thing? Definitely, we’re both searching for the legendary Holy Box because something very precious to the demons is sealed within it and the priestess that obtains it receives three wishes. Will my wishes give me something precious too? The one thing I desire more than anything? Maybe… Maybe in a very fragmentary way, the Holy Box is the one thing that is most precious to both of us. I wonder what’s in there...

“See… It’s large enough for both of us…”

No… No, that is definitely not the one thing most precious to me… It’s the one thing I definitely don’t want… But if that’s true, why is it running through my memories now?

“Your Eminence…”

She turned to him slowly, catching the faint glimpse of his smile. Is he happy to hear me laughing? It’s a front… I’m not happy, I’m terrified… But maybe it’s better if he thinks I’m actually happy. This castle is a shroud of darkness upon our hearts. Even Lance, who could feign cheer even within his grief, hadn’t smiled until this moment. For that reason… For Lance, maybe I have to pretend that everything is okay. Maybe they’ll all be happier if I can pretend that. This darkness is like poison, even these demons are beginning to show their true, vicious nature.

Is my heart also beginning to falter? Of course it is… The strength I’ve been feigning never came from me, it only came from Justin’s confidence in our victory. I’ve actually always been like that, leaving my heart in the hands of someone else, hoping that they would protect it… Then they always left me. But Minako… Minako had been the one who had never left, who had always held my heart close. She would never say it, but Minako also needed her heart to be held close. Both of our hearts were fragmentary and weak... Maybe that’s the reason we’d clung to each other so desperately.

But this world has changed both of us, turning us both into something new and different. Minako has become a horrible person, untrustworthy and unsuitable for a friend. How could someone so sweet change so suddenly? It’s as though the sun had become the moon and the entire world has been shrouded in darkness. But that’s impossible… Minako doesn’t light the world at all, the sun, the brightest solar star lights the world. She returned Lance’s brief smile, “Lance…”

“Your Eminence?”

“Even in this cold, when you smile… It’s so… nice…”

“Your Eminence…”

And… all I want to do is cry… I’m still thinking of her now… Can I hide that my heart is wavering? I really have to stay resolute...

Lance smiled brighter. “If you think seeing it is nice, then I will always do my best to smile for you.”

Renee shut her eyes quickly. Lance, why are you always supporting a horrible person like me? I can’t keep… I have to say something…

An image flashed through her mind. Another divination? She exhaled and laced her fingers as she focused her heart on that image. A low, flickering flame. That fire from before? No, it’s a very small flame… Almost like a candle… The blurred flame became clear in her eyes. The brief image was a small red candle burning with a white flame and held by a transparent, red cylindrical glass shrouded in only darkness. The lone candle in the darkness… What does that mean? She opened her eyes slowly, as another image flashed through her mind. Those glassy eyes…

“I’ll be waiting…”

She clenched her fist lightly. Why? Why do those eyes haunt my once pleasant dreams? Why? Will I never remember anything else?

“Your Eminence?”

One small candle all alone in the darkness… Its small light is chasing away the darkness, forcing it back into the corners making it seep away from a dark city. Is that where we are? Inside the lone city of darkness? Abandoned, empty, dead to everything surrounding it. In a way, it resembles Rubiihoppou, cold and lonely… But, it’s a different sort of cold, a different sort of loneliness. It’s the kind of cold that shatters straight through a heart, foregoing the body entirely. A cold that escapes notice until the last moment when a tiny cracking sound arises from the darkness. In that instant, when tears stream down and pound against the crystalline surface like a knife, the heart weakens as the gashes cut through what appeared to be unbreakable. Even broken, its weight is too much and it shatters; the heart is a glass ball of broken dreams. Emptiness… nothingness… In this city where everyone is born to die, everyone is merely a hollow fragmentary creature that becomes a shell or husk.