“What’s the point?” A dark-haired man muttered to himself, holding the glass of brownish liquid in his hands. He was just about to take a gulp, when a voice stopped him.

“Alex, it’s not the answer,” a shorter dark-haired man spoke.

“Then what the Hell is, Howie?” A.J. demanded angrily. “We’ve seen horrible shit happen to two of our brothers, and all you can say, is that this isn’t the answer?”

Howie sighed, taking the seat next to A.J. and sitting down. “Those couldn’t have been helped. There was nothing we could’ve done.”

“I could’ve stayed sober, so there would’ve been no break,” A.J. stated. “If there’d been no break, Brian wouldn’t have been there to discuss a solo album.”

“Aje, you can’t blame yourself for that,” Howie told him sincerely. “It wasn’t your fault. And who’s to say we wouldn’t have had the break anyway? We were all worn and sick of touring by then.”

A.J. fiddled with the glass of Jack Daniels in his hand. “What about Kev, huh? He didn’t do shit to nobody. Hell, he saved my ass even. All he did was let his little girl cross the street to get Nick, and the next thing he knew she was gone – just like his cousin.”

“The man was drunk – though that doesn’t excuse him in the least,” Howie reminded his troubled friend. “Kevin will never forgive you, if you start drinking again now.”

“Who the f*ck says I even care, Howie!” A.J. snapped.

“If you didn’t care, you would’ve drank that long ago,” Howie pointed out. “I know you Alex. We’ve been best friends all these years. I know what you think and how you work.”

A.J. sighed heavily, shoving the glass away from him in frustration. “I just – I don’t know what to do anymore, D. I feel so helpless being unable to do anything to make it the way it used to be, before that fire.”

“Just have faith in God,” Howie replied. “Only He knows why these things happen. Things don’t always happen, for us to sit here and dwell on why they happened.”

“I don’t think I’ve any faith left.”

“Why not?”

“Rok had faith, and look where it got him!” A.J. exclaimed. “He got blown up like a mound of dirt that’d been hit by a land mine!”

“But look at all he’d been through before all that,” Howie reminded his troubled friend. “His faith is what kept him going. He knew God wouldn’t take him while he still had work left to do here.”

“He never even got to see his son!” A.J. snapped. “All he ever wanted was a family, and soon as he got one, he got taken away from it before he could meet his son! All he ever talked about was how happy he was they were having a boy. How he couldn’t wait to meet his little Bayster. And yet, God couldn’t even grant him his last wish, dammit!”

“Alex, we’re all only here for a short time – some longer than others, some shorter,” Howie said. “It’s not up to us when we go, or who goes. That’s left in God’s hands, and if He didn’t think we’d be able to handle it, He wouldn’t have let all this happen.”

“F*ck this shit!” A.J. growled, getting up and grabbing his jacket.

“Where are you going?” Howie asked.

“Away from here!” A.J. yelled, storming out the front door.

“Please Lord, don’t let him do anything stupid,” Howie pleaded. “I don’t think we can handle it.” ~~~~~~~~~~

A.J. sat in a church pew silently, before speaking aloud angrily. He was alone, and he was mad.

“You know, the least you could’ve done was let Rok meet his son,” he said bitterly. “That’s all he ever wanted, was to meet his son.”

He sighed, jamming his fists into his eyes, as they teared up with unwanted tears. “I know You got reasons. I ain’t a stupid man. I’m just so angry, that Brian didn’t get to see Baylee.”

He paused a moment. “Rok, I know you’re probably listening to me an’ shakin’ your head. But da – ang. You shouldn’t have been taken away so soon – not like that. You didn’t deserve that. Heck, nobody does. I can’t even fathom just how scared you must’ve been, to know that you weren’t gonna make it outta there alive. I know for sure I would’ve pi – peed my pants!”

He gulped, taking a moment to breathe.

“Baylee, he’s the spitting image of yah,” he continued. “Heck, he even acts like you. He loves to make people laugh and smile, and drives us all nuts – but in a good way. He asks us about you lots. His favourite story is about how excited you were to tell everybody you were having a son. I think we’ve all told him that one at least a million times.”

He gave a soft chuckle then. “An’ I know you’re frowning down on what I almost did earlier. An’ Rok, I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t drink, even though I was tempted too – especially not after what happened to poor Kenzie. An’ you know I still got faith an’ all that, though it’s kinda run off on me right now. But I gotta blame somebody, and God’s easiest to blame ‘cause I don’t gotta see the hurt in his eyes. ‘Sides, if I didn’t have faith, why the heck would I be sitting here talking to yah, huh?”

He swallowed again, desperately trying to hold back the sob that wanted to be released.

“You know I miss yah, Rok,” he went on. “You were my best friend during the worst of it all. Just – don’t tell Howie that. We’ll keep that our little secret. An’, if yah can, take care of Kenzie for Kevin, okay? He sure misses her, more than even you know. I never thought I’d see the day where Kevin of all people fell completely apart. But, I’ve seen it, and wish to never see it again. Please, help him through this as best you can. He needs you more now than ever before. Just, I wish I could bring yah both back – so Baylee could meet you, an’ Kev could hold his baby once more, you know?”

“An’ Rok…” his voiced cracked. “I love you….”

He let his tears fall then, now that he felt as though he’d said everything he needed to say. He felt at peace, sitting there in the Church where he’d last seen Brian sing. He smiled somewhat through his tears, remembering the smile his friend had given him that day, as he had stood watching his friend and everyone else sing the hymns.