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Chapter 11

Nick sat down on the bed. His head was spinning, and he suddenly felt like he was going to be sick.
They’d found a body…

Ali’s body?

He didn’t even want to think about it. It was just so sudden. They had just arrived, and this was the last thing that he had expected. The thought of seeing Ali, dead, lying before him, was just too much for him to handle. He had no idea what he was going to do if his nightmare became reality.

His phone rang again. He picked it up and took a deep breath before he answered. He already knew who was on the other end of the line.

“Nick, I just heard… Are you ok?” AJ’s voice filled his ear.
Nick sighed. “I don’t know.” He whispered silently.
“I don’t know what to say…”
“Umm…” Nick tried to remain calm, but he could feel his voice cracking up as he spoke. “Granger told us to meet them downstairs to go to the morgue… You’re coming, right.”
“Of course, I won’t let you deal with this on your own, you know.”
“Thanks bro.”
“I’ll see you downstairs then.”
Nick nodded to himself. “Yea…”

Ten minutes later, Nick, AJ and Officer Granger stepped into the van that was going to take them to the morgue. Nick had barely said a word since he met the others in the lobby, and AJ didn’t want to say something wrong, so he decided it was best to leave it up to Nick if he wanted to talk about it. He feared that the ride to the morgue would be the longest hour and a half in his life.

~*~

Nick felt as if the walls were closing in on him. He couldn’t breathe or think, and everything around him seemed foggy. He was slowly walking into the white, sterile room, where a person was lying on a metal table, covered by a white sheet. A man, also wearing white, was standing next to the table, ready to reveal what was underneath. Nick reached him, and looked down. He could see the outline of a face thought the fabric, and he swallowed hard. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, and with a single gesture, he signalled to the man that he was ready. Seconds later, he found himself face to face with his worst nightmare. He felt like he was going to pass out when he saw her pale, lifeless face in front of him. She looked just like the last time he saw her, but then again, she looked totally different. He had to close his eyes, and for a moment, he felt his heart stop beating.

“Nick… Nick… Nicky?” The voice seemed distant to Nick as he jerked out of his dream and opened his eyes.
“You ok man? You’re really pale…”
He looked around confused. “AJ?”

They were still in the car. It had been a dream. A bad dream…

“Are you ok?” AJ asked again, looking at Nick with a concerned expression on his face.
“I… I just. Man, it was so real…”
“What?”
“I had this dream… about Ali. I saw her… at the morgue.” Nick said, still sounding confused.
AJ raised his eyebrows. “Oh man…”
“It was so real Jay.” He looked down at his hands and closed his eyes, trying to shake away the image of Ali lying dead before him.
AJ didn’t know what to say, so he just remained silent, letting Nick get some time to calm down.
“How long ‘til we’re there?” Nick asked after a few minutes of silence.
AJ shrugged. “Not too long, I think. We’ve been driving for over an hour.”
Nick only nodded and turned to look out the window, taking in the deserted landscape covered in snow.

~*~

“You ready?” AJ rested a hand on Nick’s shoulder as they slowly made their way down the deserted corridor, their voices echoing down the hall as they spoke.
Nick swallowed hard.
“How can I be ready for something like this Jay? What if it’s her?” He looked down. “You know, that dream was so real. She was so real. It was like… like I felt a piece of me die too. If that is her in there, I might as well join her.”
AJ stopped walking and turned to look at Nick. “Don’t say that. You’re scaring me Nick. Do you honestly want us to go through what you’re feeling right now?”
Nick shrugged and started walking again. “Then tell me what I’m going to do without her!”
“Well, you made it through last year…”
“Yea, but only because I had hope. If I find out for sure that she’s gone now, what do I have left?”
AJ sighed. “You have us.” He whispered, looking at his friend that seemed paler than he’d ever been. “And your family.”
“Yea, a family that’s falling apart.”
“What about ---“
Nick raised his hand. “AJ, just… don’t!” He closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath.
They reached the end of the corridor and were met by Granger, who was sitting on a bench, waiting for them.
“You ok?” Granger stood up and looked at Nick.
“I don’t know…” He replied helplessly.
“Why don’t you sit down for a few minutes, and I’ll tell you what they told me.”
Nick nodded and sat down, resting his elbows on his knees.
“They found her inside an old building in the neighbour town. Now, the towns in this area are very small, and they are very close to each other. They share a police force, schools, medical centre, and about everything else there is to share. So just because they didn’t find her in Nefedowa, doesn’t mean that it’s not her, just so that you don’t get your hopes up. They didn’t find any identification on her, so she could be Russian, American… we don’t know. It’s hard to tell. She does match the description we have on Alicia though. She’s been dead for less than 24 hour, so she looks pretty decent.” Granger stopped and looked at Nick, who still looked terribly pale. “Have you ever seen a dead body before Nick?”
Nick shook his head.
“She looks like she’s sleeping; only she’s very pale. When you enter the room, she’ll be covered with a white sheet, and there will be someone there who will reveal her face once you signal that you’re ready, ok? If it’s her, you need to stay for further investigation, if it’s not, we’ll leave as soon as you get out.”
Granger gestured towards a closed door across the corridor. “So… whenever you’re ready.”

Nick took a deep breath and stood up.
“Want me to come with you?” AJ asked hesitantly.
“No…” Nick shook his head. “I think I need to do this on my own. If it’s her… I need to be alone with her.”
AJ nodded to show that he understood, and took a step to the side so that Nick could walk over to the closed door.

Ok, here goes nothing…

As soon as Nick entered the room, he felt like he was entering the dream, except the person standing next to the table, was a woman and not a man. Nick gave her a small nod, and walked over to the table, feeling dizzier by every step. He looked down at the white sheet in front of him, afraid to even think what was underneath it. For a few seconds, he closed his eyes, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to see. A part of him was also praying that he would be somewhere else when he opened them and that this was all a bad dream.

It’s not a dream…

He opened his eyes, and looked at the woman on the other side of the table. He gave her a signal that told her that he was ready, and before he could even take another breath, she had removed the sheet to reveal a pale female face. Nick felt his heart skip several beats, as he looked down at the person lying on the table. He only had to look for a brief second to get the answer he needed, and a second was all it took for him to run over to a steel sink in the corner of the room and throw up.

A minute later he walked out of the room, and past AJ and Granger, to sit down on the bench where he had sat only minutes before. He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands. For a moment, he just sat there, trying to forget what he had just seen.
“Nick…” AJ was the first to speak.
Nick looked up. “It’s not her… it’s not Ali.”

It’s not her.