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Chapter 18

A few hours later, Nick was lying on the bed in his room thinking about the past few days and where they were headed in the investigation. He was trying his best to not think about the note that he had received earlier, but it was hard not to, seeing that, according to Granger, it was an evidence that hopefully would lead them closer to Ali.

Nick let his eyes rest on the TV that was showing a cartoon, in Russian. When they were younger, he and Ali had used to watch cartoons with the sound turned off, making up their own lines for the characters, forming their own stories. He missed those moments.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Nick sighed and walked over the door, cleaning up a few pieces of clothing on his way. He opened the door, and found AJ standing in the hall, ready to knock again.

“Hi.”
“Hey Nicky.” AJ let himself into the room and sat down on the foot of the bed.
Nick knew what was coming. AJ never called him Nicky unless he wanted to talk about emotions. It was as if he used that name to soften himself up a little. Nick sat down in a chair opposite to AJ and turned off the TV.
“I just came by to see how you were doing.” AJ said before Nick had the chance to speak.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you really?”
Nick sighed and tried to send AJ a reassuring smile.
“You know you can’t fool me Nick. I know you too well.”
“Did Kevin ask you to do this?” Nick asked, assuming that AJ had spoken to their band mate.
“What… no.”
“I’m fine AJ… really.”
“Nick… you know that’s a lie. You look awful. You’ve got big circles under your eyes, you haven’t shaved since who knows when and you haven’t slept in days. How can you be fine?”
Nick sighed again and looked down. “AJ… I just… I don’t know ok. I don’t know anything anymore. I feel like I’m searching in vain, and everything I do just seem to make things worse.”
AJ frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… first of all, Ali wouldn’t be missing if it wasn’t for me dragging her to that stupid award show. Second, I was the one who insisted on going to the village that night and practically expose our selves to the kidnapper, who by the way shot you, if you didn’t forget. Third… the note. I mean, he obviously sees me as a threat, and if I’m a threat to him, I might be a threat to Ali too…”
“You can’t think like that.”
Nick leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I know, but I do, ok? I can’t help it.”
“Nick, if Ali knew everything you’re going through because of her, she would be the one feeling bad. You’re an amazing friend to her, and when we find her, she’ll know. She probably already knows. Don’t give yourself such a hard time Nick. You’re doing everything you can.”
“But it’s not enough.” He whispered, running a hand through his hair and trying to hold back the tears.
“Nick… I wish I knew what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Nick looked up at his friend. “I really appreciate you coming with me here AJ. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through this without you. It’s just that sometimes I need to be alone with my thoughts. You know that. I’m not good with talking about emotions and stuff. All I know is that right now I’m so unbelievable exhausted, but I just want to continue searching for Ali until we find her. She’s probably in a much worse state than I am right now. I can deal with a little tiredness and headache.”
“I guess you’re right… just don’t over do the work, ok? I’m worried about you.”
Nick nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. And I’ll be even better once we find Ali.”

~*~

November 2000.

“Nick, this is boring…”
Ali and Nick were sitting in Nick’s living room, flipping through the TV channels on the large flat screen. They were planning on seeing a movie, but nothing good was on, and Nick felt to lazy to stand up and walk over to his own collection of DVD’s.
“Oh, look! My Girl.” Ali suddenly said excitedly.
“I though you said this was boring.” Nick said, as Macaulay Culkin’s young face was shown on the screen.
They both fell silent for a few minutes, watching the two best friends in the movie as they sat under a tree, mixing their own blood.
“We should do that.” Nick said, sitting up a little.
“Do what?”
“That.” Nick pointed at the screen.
“What? Sit under a tree?” Ali asked confused.
“No you dork. That.” He was still pointing.
“Mix our blood?”
“Yes!”
Ali shook her head. “You’re nuts. There’s no way I’m cutting myself.”
“Aww… Ali, come on. That way, we’ll always be connected to each other.” Nick pouted.
Ali shook her head. “Nick, I’m not cutting myself. I hate blood. Besides, this is what kids do when they’re joking around. You’re twenty. Waaaay to old for this.”
“You’re a chicken.”
“Well, you’re being a baby.”
“Ali, please… do it for me. I really wanna do it. Pretty please.” He begged, pouting.
“Don’t do that!”
“Do what?”
“Look at me with that puppy dog face.”
Nick smirked. “Oh, you know you want me.”
“Nick… ewww. Come on, give me a break.” She made a grimace.
“Just kidding. But, seriously Al. I wanna do it.”
Ali sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
Nick jumped up. “Yes! I’ll get a knife.”
“Well that sounded comforting…” Ali mumbled to herself as Nick walked into the kitchen to get a knife. Seconds later, he was back carrying a meat knife that he placed on the coffee table in front of them.
“Couldn’t find any smaller, could you?” Ali asked sarcastically.
“Hey!”
“Just kidding…. So how do we do this?”
“Give me your hand.” Nick said and reached over to grab her hand. “I’ll just make a small cut on your index finger, ok?” He reached out and picked up the knife from the table.
Ali nodded. “Ok… just do it quick. And not too deep.”
“Close your eyes. It’ll be over in a second.”
She closed her eyes as she felt the tip of the knife dig into her finger. She winched, and pressed her lips together. The pain was gone before she had the chance to react to it, and she slowly opened her eyes to find that Nick was holding out his own hand, a small stain of blood emerging from a cut in his finger. Without a word, he took her hand and mixed their blood together, just as they had seen on the movie a few minutes earlier.
“See… that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Nick smiled, still holding on to her hand.
Ali shook her head.
“Now, I’ll always have a part of you with me.”

~*~

She leaned her head helplessly back against the cold concrete wall. Slowly, she closed her eyes behind the piece of fabric that was covering her eyes, and let out a silent sob. A sob that expressed hurt, fear and anger, but most of all longing. She didn’t know how long she would be able to hold on. The hope was draining out of her like the tide when the waves left the beach and left nothing but emptiness behind.

She had been drifting in and out of sleep for days now, always waking up feeling worse and more desperate than before. She didn’t know what time of the day it was, what day of the week, what month or how long she had been there. As much as she wanted to know, she didn’t have the strength to think about it.

It was strange too, waking up to a different surrounding than what she was used to. For days, she had been tied up and blindfolded. It made her feel unsafe and reminded her that she had left an empty room behind. A room, that if someone would ever find it, would show no signs of her. No one would ever know that she had been there.

Nick wouldn’t know.

Suddenly she heard footsteps from above, and she quickly opened her eyes even though she knew it was no use. She knew who to expect. She hadn’t seen him in a few days now, and she prayed that he was bringing food, or water at least.

She could hear him entered the room, and move slowly, but firmly towards her. Walking over, he stopped a few feet away from her. She could feel his eyes on her, even though she couldn’t see him. He walked over to her and slowly pulled off the blindfold. It took some time for her to adjust, and when she did, she wasn’t sure where to look. He was staring down at her, a different look in his eyes then what she was used to. He didn’t look sad anymore, but almost desperate, in an angry way.
With a single gesture, he untied the ropes around her wrists, but left her feet tied up.

He had brought food, a piece of bread and a bottle of water that he had placed on the ground before her.

He took a step back and sat down on his knees pulling something out from inside his jacket.
A gun.
The blood froze in her veins.
Was this it?

All this time, she had waited for something to happen, and now, all she could think was that she felt relieved.

Just as she thought he was about to end it, he put the gun down next to the food and stood up again.

“Your choice.” He whispered, and walked away without looking at her.

Was he giving her an ultimatum?
She could choose the food, or the gun.
Life… or death.

It was up to her now, and she knew exactly what she wanted, but could she do it?