I shouldn’t care or wonder where and how you are
But I cant hide this hurt inside my broken heart
I’m fighting back emotions
That I’ve never thought before
Cause I’m not supposed to love you anymore

Today I decided to go out on the town with the guys. I needed to clear my mind a bit I guess. Instead of going to your ever so normal club we decided just to go out for burgers at the local diner in town.

“So are you liking your freedom?” Kevin asked me.

“I guess its okay. I feel kind of lost. It feels kind of weird not having her around the house. Nikki is just driving me crazy. I am so usd to having her get up and take care of her in the middle of the night, but nope its just me” I stated.

“Sorry man…everything will work out in the end.” Brian said.

“Yeah thanks guys. Has anyone seen Howie lately?”

“No…not really. I think he has some new girlfriend or something. I don’t keep up with his love life. He has someone new so often anymore. I feel like he’s some male prositute or something.” I just chuckled at Kevin’s comment. Howie a male prositute? Somehow I could really see that.

As we got our food I noticed out of the corner of my eyes I saw Meagan carrying our daughter.

“Hey guys excuse me for one moment” I got up and walked over to her.

“Hey”

“Hey”

“How you been?” I didn’t know what to say to her. That was a complete first but then again I couldn’t just go up to her and say ‘hey baby what’s up?’ that would just sound wrong.

“Good I guess. What have you been up too? I see you are out with the guys. Takn you to any bars yet?” she gave me an attitude I guess it’s a crime these days to go out to bars or something. Or maybe she is just jealous she always was.

“No…and why would it be any of your business anyway? We arent together anymore Meagan. Did you forget that?”

“No, I am just looking out for our daughter. I certainly don’t want you coming home drunk around her”

“How stupid do you think I really am Meagan? I wouldn’t do that. You of all people should know me better than that. Never mind…I am just going to stay out of it. I am going to walk away” And then I just left. Some days I wonder why I even married her but I still love her and I always will. I walked back to the table with the guys.

“So how was Miss. Twinkle Toes?”

“A bitch as usual. She’s jealous because I am here. Its like she doesn’t want me to have freedom or something. Then she asked if y’all took me out bar hopping and the said I am basically not allowed to drink because she is afraid I am going to hurt Nikki. She thinks I am like stupid or something. It doesn’t matter though” I stated. The guys all just nodded their heads. Each day I cant help but wonder how she is though. After all I was married to her. I know she still thinks of me too. I still wish we were together but I think we would have killed each other. If we were together any longer. But then I’m not supposed to love her anymore.